Art of Eloquence Blog — myth RSS

Debunking the myth that all conflict is bad

“Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.” Matthew 5:25 Nobody likes conflict.  It’s always uncomfortable, often frustrating, mostly intimidating and almost never easy, but it isn’t always bad.  In fact, it can actually make things better than they were before the conflict arose.  You probably think my trolley has derailed, but stick with me a few minutes as I share the five ways in which conflict can be a good thing. 1. Clear the air of misunderstandings Conflicts rarely arise from perfectly contented parties.  Conflict usually means that at...

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The Persuasion Myth

Since we spent the entire month of August discussing shyness, I want to spend a little time this month discussing the other side of that coin.  Last week, I talked about The Assertiveness Myth.  This week, I'd like to talk about the myth that every good communicator can always convince the other person of anything. The problem with this myth is three-fold: 1. It puts  a great deal of pressure on the communicator. If you think you will be able to convince everyone, you'll be a very stressed and frustrated communicator. 2. It puts a great deal of pressure on the one he's trying to convince. As we discovered in last week's article, assertiveness isn't the answer to every issue. ...

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The Assertiveness Myth

All this month, we've been talking about shyness.  On the flip side of shyness is assertiveness, but it's not all it's cracked up to be either.  Check out this article, The Assertiveness Myth: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” -2 Timothy 1:7 In the 70's and 80's there was a fashion trend (a fad) in communication.  Assertiveness Training was all the rage.  It presumed that most people were shy and needed to assert themselves in order to take their rightful place in a conversation and get their point across.  It was believed that charisma and persuasion were the solution to everything from winning arguments to...

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