3. Most of my fans will never see what I post on my fan pages and most of the fan pages I've liked will never be able to have me see most of their posts. I liked the pages because I wanted to see what they posted. If I no longer want to see them, I'll unlike or unfollow the page myself. I can't tell you how many times I've found a fabulous article or meme that one of my friends shared from a Facebook page I liked and realized how many of their great posts I missed out on!
Facebook would like us to believe that this is because there are too many items in our newsfeed and we can't see them all. It's actually because they would like to charge us for ads. I don't blame them. This is a business for them after all, but why not be up front about that? Why send you to Facebook Jail simply for liking too many pages or friends' comments?
By the way, I've tried Facebook ads and found them sorely lacking. Certain things do well as a Facebook ad, but most do not. Most people I know ignore the ads and never *see* them. I've paid for ads that were shown to a few more of my own fans that most of them selectively ignored because they do so for ALL Facebook ads. I know this because I took a few surveys. Again, if Facebook is only for personal use, why allow ads at all? Why allow us to have business fan pages? Because it has grown to be a large business for them (and they are absolutely entitled to do that). My only problem is that I believe they should be up front about it and by explaining the rules instead of keeping them hidden so nobody can figure them out without extensive trial and error and MONEY.
4. Facebook doesn't like YouTube. Most YouTube videos I share never make it to my friends' newsfeeds. In fact, Facebook doesn't like links of any kind. They make it a point not to show too many of your friends and fans any articles, blog posts, or any other links that take people off Facebook.
5. Facebook made a recent change whereby most of my newsfeed now consists of ads and promoted posts leaving me hard pressed to find too many of the things my friends and fan pages have posted at all.
It seems Facebook is taking the social out of social media more and more with each passing day. What's your Facebook Pet Peeve?
This is such fun! I used to do this on our Facebook Fan Page and it was fascinating to read the creativity of Art of Eloquence fans. Here's how Story Go Round works:
I'll start you all off with a story prompt. I'd like each of you to read it and the comments that follow and add to the story. Here we go:
One night, a family of six went out to eat at a fancy restaurant to celebrate a very special occasion. On the way to dinner, the car began making a funny noise and so the father pulled over to take a look at the engine. After a few minutes, the mother asked the father what the trouble was, but before she could complete her sentence...
What happened? Please read through each of the comments before you reply in order to keep the story going. Get as creative as you like!
Go...
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Don't forget to comment and share our post! You will be entered into our contest to win our weekly, monthly and quarterly prizes!
]]>Communication in its most simplistic form is the sharing of an idea in a way that allows the other party/parties to understand the message the way in which it was intended. It's a simple concept, but not an easy one to attain, especially in today's microwave society.
For many years, communication was thought an important skill to teach each generation and it yielded incredible results. It allowed people of diverse cultures and world views to discuss things of great importance allowing consensus to be reached. It promoted grace and manners in the event that agreement was not found in order for citizens to live peaceably and agree to disagree. Not always, but mostly in polite society.
But today, there is no interest in learning to communicate effectively because there are a few new definitions of communication that have been adopted. Communication has become:
A battle cry for free speech:
Most people (even Christians) have adopted the belief that communication is a right to say whatever you want to say without thought to how it may come across or the results it might yield. Americans, especially, claim free speech as a way to justify being lazy so they don't have to craft their message to fit their audience in order to affect change. Christians have used this practice almost as a badge of honor in order to say they have fulfilled the Great Commission. They claim you know you are being effective for the Lord if you share your faith and others are offended.
Free speech was never intended to be a justification for being rude. The Bible says, “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;” Ephesisans 4:2. Nor was it a right guaranteed in all forms as we are not free to yell fire in a crowded theater. Lastly, the Lord never intended us to BE offensive when we shared our faith. Paul said, “For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.” -1 Corinthians 9:19-22. It says that the message may be offensive to those who are not willing to hear it, but we are not to be rude.
A sales pitch:
Communication skills are often sought after, but only for a few specific reasons. The first of which is in order to perfect a sales pitch. It's been tried, but has failed miserably when pushing your wares on unsuspecting Facebook friends, so many do seek out a better way in which to share their business ideas in order to make more money. This is admirable, but there is much more to communication and more serious consequences to humanity than a missed sales opportunity. Friendships are lost, marriages fail, careers are stalled, businesses are ruined, and wars are waged when communication is done badly.
A speech:
Speech making and debate are good skills to foster and many parents look for resources either in schools or books in order to give their children an edge. However, while your child may never be called upon to give a speech in the course of their lives, they will always be called upon to communicate something to someone on a daily basis!
A political rant:
A final way in which most people these days see communication (or rather the LACK of effective communication) as important is as it relates to a political rant. Facebook is filled with people offending by the way in which a political issue has been worded or presented. The importance of communication here is usually reserved for how NOT to communicate rather than a reason to learn to do so more effectively.
How did we get to this point? I have several ideas about what has changed communication over the last 10-20 years.
We've become a nameless, faceless society:
I believe there has been a change in how effective communication is valued because communication itself has become nameless and faceless. It's far too easy to email, text, or share a comment on an internet article or Facebook post without having to face your victim when you insult him. Ever since the Me Generation where we were encouraged to be bold and assert ourselves, we have valued the boldness of people, but gave less credence to grace in how that message was transmitted. It's much easier to do that now that we are no longer required to look a person in the eyes when we deliver our bold dislike for something. Even the meek may express their distaste without fear of retribution because all it takes is a quick delete, unfollow or unfriend if the heat gets to close to home.
Some people L@@K for offense and others CREATE it:
I've seen some on social media who look long and hard for things they may somehow twist in order to take offense so that they may express their dismay with all the vinegar they can muster. Still others look for opportunities to sow discord among their peers. These are usually the people who proclaim discrimination or cry bully while using the same tactics to point that out in others.
A complete lack of personal responsibility:
The trend these days is to point out unfairness in others, but refuse to accept any personal responsibility for any of the misunderstanding. It's always the other person's fault and responsibility. It's Joe's responsibility to be nice to me, but I am just being who I am in speaking any way I want to. It's Mary's fault for arguing with me, but I will not acknowledge my own contribution for a misunderstanding that escalated into a verbal brawl.
What can we do to bring it back:
I suggest we go back to placing more importance on the way in which we communicate and the need for education about effective communication as well as the commitment to bringing it about by starting with ourselves and our children. To that end, Art of Eloquence has a TON of free resources and sample lessons (at the bottom of most of our product pages) as well as various studies for sale. Check out all we have to offer and please feel free to email me if you have any questions.
Make 2017 the year we bring back civility to our discourse and grace back to our relationships!
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Don't forget to comment and share our post! You will be entered into our contest to win our weekly, monthly and quarterly prizes!
]]>FIMM used to have a weekly show here on Art of Eloquence. Most of the years, it was a written episode but one year I had a monthly video episode as well. Here are a few for us to ponder as we walk into 2017:
Don't forget to comment and share our post! You will be entered into our contest to win our weekly, monthly and quarterly prizes!]]>
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This is the Information Age where instead of walking down the street to talk to a neighbor, we email them. In order not to spend a half an hour chatting with a chatty friend, we text them. In lieu of spending time with extended family, we catch up with them on Facebook. How important is face to face or at least voice to voice communication in the Computer Age? Are our relationships missing something? Have we “technologized” ourselves into a nameless, faceless communication pattern that leaves our relationships lacking? I think we have!
Technology is impersonal and people still long for the personal touch. How special would you feel if your family didn’t get together at a party for your birthday? What if, instead of a cake and presents and a walk down memory lane, they texted you their birthday greetings? What are we missing by spending virtual time with friends? Researchers found that babies in an orphanage who are not touched have social and physical issues. Humans need that personal touch. A hug is worth so much more than even a kind word. Our communication is so much more meaningful when we personalize it and give a human face, the human touch. “A woman’s touch” is something we all heard about growing up. Why is a woman’s touch so important? Because it is filled with personal attention to detail.
Let’s face it, face-to-face communication is still the best way to have a relationship. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to have a good marriage if you and your spouse were not living together and only communicated over email? This is why long distance relationships are so difficult. For the first time in my married life, I am living close to my parents. It has been such an amazing experience to get to know them all over again. Oh don’t get me wrong, we would call each week and “catch up”, but it was NOT at all the same. Why? Because living close means we can actually get together in person and hug and share a moment. We actually speak more often about things that really matter. Can you do that over the phone or through email? Yes, but can you do that more easily and effectively in person? Absolutely!!
Little opportunity exists for extensive dialogue or many questions when we communicate via technology. How many of you can say your hands get tired when you type? How many of you limit the number of emails you send because you just don’t want to type all that in. How many of you don’t text because it’s so much easier to pick up the phone and just talk? How many characters can you actually get into a text phone message? If you Twitter, you know that you can only post 140 characters. Facebook users have a bit more with about 160 characters. Remember that is 140 CHARACTERS not 140 WORDS! How much true communication, bonding, or “relationshipping” can you really get in with just 140 characters?
Technology affords us the opportunity to communicate when it’s convenient for US but not necessarily when it’s convenient for the other person. I remember when my sister and I had opposite schedules and had to communicate by phone when the other wasn’t home. She’d call me when I was out because it was the only time she had to call. Then after a few hours or days, I’d call her back when she wasn’t home because that was the only time I had to call her. We were grateful for the technology that existed at the time so that we could have some way of staying in touch, but would be have much preferred to talk voice to voice? Most assuredly! Would we have preferred to speak face-to-face? You bet your sweet hugs! Why? First because it affords us the chance exchange hugs, to see one another’s face and to really ‘be’ with each other. Secondly, because misunderstandings abound given time between contact through technological devices.
Sometimes she would call in a hurry and misunderstand what I had said and respond accordingly. Occasionally, I would call in a rush to respond before heading out the door and in my haste, I’d blurt out the wrong information. So much of that Techno Talking was taken up by correcting misinformation that it was a wonder we stayed in touch at all.
So…When is it best to use technology for communication? I’d say when you have no other choice! My daughter is currently 1800 miles away at college. As much as I’d love to, I cannot see her in person until she gets home for summer vacation. We phone when we have time to spend talking over all the details of her college experiences and relating what we are each doing and how we feel about that as much as we can. However, time doesn’t always permit our schedules to coincide. Often when she has time between classes, I am in the middle of homeschooling her brother or am out with him on a field trip. When I called her for Resurrection Sunday, she was whizzing her way to an event. So when I need to ask her if she needs any money or if she needs to tell me when she is out for summer vacation so we can buy her ticket home, we email. Sometimes we email just to say “I love you!”
Only 7% of our face-to-face communication is in our words. This means that 93% of face-to-face communication is in our gestures, facial expressions, body language and eye contact which cannot be transmitted through the internet and can only partially be conveyed through the phone. So face-to-face is the best form of communication—even in the Computer Age and I recommend that to be the best form of communication for spending time, important or difficult topics of conversation. The second best form of communication is via the phone. When you cannot be in person, the phone is the next most effective way to communicate. So then, is it ever more effective to email or text? Yes!
Texting or email or social networking can be a very effective way to communicate in several situations! Here are a few. If you are in need of prayer and have very little time, putting a post out on Facebook can be an excellent way to communicate with all your friends and family in a difficult and busy time. If you and Aunt Millie don’t see eye to eye about the family event this May, it may be best simply to email her the date and time rather than take the chance and get into a discussion or argument about the location one more time on the phone. Texting is perfect if you don’t have any time to talk but 13 of your friends are waiting for the date at time of the next Bible study. Email is a perfect way to share a smile when you send out a funny email to family and friends on your email list or when you just want to say, “I’m thinking of you.” Or “I’m praying for you today.”
Now just because email or social networking is less personal than face-to-face conversations or phone calls, doesn’t mean we can’t make our techno communication more personalized! What can we do to our emails and Facebook posts to give them a more personal feel? Here are a few ideas:
1. Smiley faces are always a great way to make an impersonal post more personal.
2. A picture is worth a thousand smiles! Post pictures on your Facebook wall or in your email to Aunt Sally!
3. Tailor your message to your audience. If you are emailing Uncle Joe, make sure to use terms and examples he would appreciate. He’s a fisherman, you know, so use some fishing metaphors!
4. Send a personal email or Facebook message whenever you can. Instead of posting to the masses, take a bit of time each week to email Mildred or send a Facebook message just to Bill. Respond to what is going on in their lives. Make it personal and specific to their lives. Ask questions!
Technology is a wonderful tool to help us stay in touch with our loved ones, but it shouldn’t take the place of face-to-face communication when it is possible. Take some time to think about who you can visit this month, who you can call today and who you’d like to send a personal email to, complete with updated pictures of the kids! Don’t let your relationships become anemic. Allow them to blossom and grow and, as the years go by, you’ll have incredible memories to sustain you!
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
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Don't forget to comment and share our post! You will be entered into our contest to win our weekly, monthly and quarterly prizes!
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Art of Eloquence is reinstating and revising our blog so that each and every week, we will be bringing you the latest and greatest vital information and simple tips you can use right away to improve your quality of life and in every aspect of your life!
Because we feel that this information is SO VITAL to everyone, we'd like your help in spreading the messages we share each week. To that end, we've devised three ways that you can win free gifts just for commenting and sharing our blog posts.
How it Works:
Each week, we will be picking a comment on our blog post at random to receive a free gift or gift certificate.
Each month, the person who commented that they had shared our blog post(s) the most that month will win a larger gift or gift certificate.
Finally, every quarter, we will choose one person who shared our blog post(s) the most that quarter and he/she will receive a package of free gifts!
The gifts or gift certificates may be to Art of Eloquence materials or they may come from other small businesses who partner with us. It will vary each week.
How to Enter:
1. Comment on as many of our blog posts as you can. Tell us what you liked about the post, what you'd like to see covered in future posts, and/or where you shared that particular post.
2. Make sure to leave a valid email address where we can notify you if you are chosen as our winner!
3. Share as many of our blog posts as you can on as many social networks as you have.
That's it! What do you think? Let others know about our contests! Share our blog post and make sure to come back here and let us know you did so you can enter to win!
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The majority of today's society has gone into either one of two corners. Either they feel justified to speak their mind in any way shape or form with no regard for other's feelings (I'll be talking about that group next month) or they see offense everywhere and in every thing and the latter is the focus of this month's blog post.
It has happened to me many times. I post a cute, funny, harmless comment that is designed to interrupt a difficult day to give folks a much deserved giggle. Invariably, somebody will reply that I'm a big fat meanie who pulls wings off butterflies. Sometimes I can't even for the life of me, figure out how they got to that from there, but it doesn't seem to matter how far a leap it is, they are looking for a fight and scrolling through social media searching out a recipient. Have you found yourself on the receiving end of an Offense Seeker yet? If not, you probably will.
Nothing exemplified this more than a recent newsletter post my husband recently received. It began with this short blurb about something the owner was promoting to his mailing list:
12 Tricks to Appear Smart in Emails
Here are 12 email tricks that will make you appear smart, passionate, dedicated and most of all, smart. This infographic comes from The Cooper Review, the brainchild of Sarah Cooper. If you enjoy it, you'll probably like her brand new book, 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings – it will teach you how to appear smart in less than half the time it takes to actually learn anything. You can pre-order it here.
The article to which it linked was clearly written in jest. Suggestions for appearing smart when replying to emails in the workplace were both wild and ridiculous bordering on ludicrous. Shockingly, almost all of the comments were from angry readers who, to quote loosely from Men in Black, seemed to have no sense of humor they were aware of.
While a few readers got the joke and expressed degrees of gratitude for the humorous departure from the mundane and stressful nature of their day, almost all of the responses complained that the article wasted their precious time and accused the author of varying degrees of stupidity.
Don't take yourselves so seriously, folks. Not every cloud has an evil lining. Laugh a little. Have a bit of fun. See the good in things. You might just live longer.
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The Age of the Information Superhighway:
The Information Age has changed the way society views many artists and writers. While they may value their work enough to give it their time and attention, they often don't value it enough to believe it is worthy of a price tag...or at least not one that is more than 99 cents.
Most people these days point to Amazon's 99 cent promotions and the fact that an eBook doesn't require a publisher to spend money on printing as the only issues in the valuation of the material. However, the cost of the printing a book is only a small portion of the cost to that author/publisher. In reality, it's the ability of the information to enrich your life which contributes to its value and price tag. In the case of textbooks or other nonfiction work, that value is dependent upon the experience of the person teaching.
What's the experience and expertise behind Art of Eloquence Materials:
I have a degree in speech communication from a university that was ranked 7th in the nation for it at the time. I have over 37 years of experience in the field and I've taught online as well as offline classes.
I have several years of experience producing an online communication convention event featuring some of the most popular homeschool speakers who agreed to be interviewed because they understood the value of effective communication in their lives. I hosted an Internet radio show for a few years where I interviewed successful people about the role of effective communication in their career and personal life. I have contributed tons of free articles to my Facebook fan page as well as on ArtofEloquence.com for the last 14 yrs.
I've contributed many articles about communication skills to magazines like The Old Schoolhouse, Homeschool Enrichment, and sites like Crosswalk.com and DrLaura.com. Just to name a few.
Lastly, the Art of Eloquence materials have been reviewed and endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and awarded their Homeschool Approved Seal. We are also recommended by HSLDA.org with a link from the Home School Legal Defense Association website.
The MISinformation Superhighway:
Just a few things about Googling free information:
1. Not all free information is good information. I'm sure you've found a fair amount of misinformation and bad information on the internet before. Not all of the information you can find for free is worth the trouble to find it.
2. The amount of free information available on the internet doesn't mean we should never pay for it. There's a ton of free advice, but we wouldn't go to the internet instead of consulting a doctor would we?
3. By the same token not all free info is bad info. People see free and think it's not worth the time to read simply because it didn't cost anything. I've received a LOT of really valuable information for free. If the person really knows what he/she is talking about, the info is valuable. So, if you get information for free or 99 cents, consider it a gift!
4. Don't confuse fiction with nonfiction because even among those who feel 99 cents is a fair price for a novel, there is a majority who admit that textbooks and other information is worth much more because it solves a problem affecting their quality of life. If you look at college textbooks, you'll find they cost anywhere from $100-$200 new.
I found this online: "Determining the final cost for a textbook requires several considerations. For example, the current price of the updated textbook 'Human Anatomy and Physiology' is listed at $150.49 for a new book, $49.49 to $88.10 to rent a book, and $93.96 for the electronic edition."
When I went looking for eTextbooks for college communication and public speaking courses, I found that they generally range anywhere from $20 to $150 with the average price being around $46. Art of Eloquence materials range from $17-$25.
Benefits of downloadable materials:
1. Immediate delivery. No waiting for anything to come in the mail.
2. No shipping costs.
3. Embedded links to even more materials you can find on the net.
4. Saves trees! Environmentally friendly.
5. As most self publishers are small business owners, you are supporting families when you purchase a digital product. Small family owned and operated businesses choose digital in order to compete with the big companies who have much more capitol to fund their businesses.
Downloadable materials have their downsides for the publisher as well:
1. Since they are viewed as less valuable, it's more difficult for us to grow our business even if our materials are of higher quality than a hard copy material found elsewhere. Art of Eloquence materials are not only easy to use, but are fun, engaging, and creative as well as highly educational.
2. Downloadable materials are often shared openly on the internet leaving the publisher little recourse to recoup any income lost by those who post pages of our materials on their blogs and websites. Many people don't even realize this is a violation of copyright and don't even give the publisher or author credit for their work when they post it.
The laborer is worthy of his wages:
The Information Age is bringing with it a new era. Both publisher/authors and consumers will need to adjust. 1 Timothy 5:18 says "For the Scripture says, 'You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain,' and, 'The laborer is worthy of his wages.'"
It's the knowledge, talent, expertise, time, and so much more that goes into the value of a book, artwork, performance, CD, song, seminar, class, or coaching package that makes up its value. If the information itself wasn't valuable, Google wouldn't be so busy.
I invite your comments...
]]>1. Buy My Stuff Barbara: Barbara PMs Facebook friends she never talks to in order to get them to join her network marketing business or buy her latest product. She takes the time to explain all about her stuff, but has no response to personal details when I reply. She ignores my comments about how I just had surgery, how my uncle was just diagnosed with cancer, or that a family member is currently in the hospital and simply replies, "Thanks for responding."
It's not bad to reach out to see if others might be interested in something you sell. It's just bad form to do so out of the blue and then NEVER respond on a human level to what they just shared with you. It is bound to make them feel you are only in this social networking relationship for the money.
2. Here's Your Solution Hallie: I've seen people post about a problem only to have others post their solution without even considering what was just said in the original post. Hallie has tunnel vision. She sees a post that has something to do with a product she likes or a solution she believes in and BAM. She posts her response!
Allergic to that cure? Tried it already? Didn't work? Don't believe in it? Don't want to? Doesn't matter to Hallie. Just because a cure worked for Aunt Millie's second cousin's friend's neighbor, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. Everyone's body is different and each person has their own ideas and issues. What is usually required and needed when someone posts about a financial devastation or health issue is compassion. Prayer might be nice to offer as well.
3. I've Got My Agenda Ida: I've noticed replies to posts that had nothing whatever to do with the topic which were stated only in order to segue into Ida's agenda. It's not nice to hijack someone else's post and take it into a new direction, especially when you know that it isn't an ideology THEY share. Mary is a public school teacher with her kids in public school. She posted a struggle she's having with her son. She's looking for support not to quit her job and homeschool her three kids. Ida's agenda might not be bad or wrong, but it's isn't polite to jump in and tear Mary's world apart just because you think you see a need.
This was posted on HER Facebook wall. If Ida wants to share HER ideas, she can post them on HER wall.
4. I'll Find Offense Irma: Humor post? No, let's take offense to further the political agenda. I'm a goofball and I love to make people laugh. Life is tough enough; what the world needs now is FUN...a diversion from the day to day difficulties that infest our lives. But I can't tell you how many times I've posted something fun (even when it's poking fun at MYSELF), when someone feels the need to take offense at something you could only infer if you were looking at it behind dark glasses as you stood upside down on a cactus with a flame thrower underneath.
Sometimes, Irma, a joke is just a joke and it's okay to laugh at it. And if you don't find it funny, it is possible to just scroll on past it.
5. The Conversation Correction Patrol: When someone makes a spelling or grammar mistake, a typo, inadvertently uses Auto INcorrect, or has the audacity to post their political beliefs on their own Facebook wall, it has become commonplace to...BLAST 'em! A small grammar or spelling mistake usually doesn't befuddle the reader enough to make the writer's point unintelligible. So, unless you can't figure out what the post means, just let it go and respond to the spirit of the post.
It's perfectly acceptable to disagree with someone politically, but it doesn't give you the right to be mean spirited in response. Gently respond by sharing your ideas or facts without insinuating (or coming right out and stating) that the person on the other side of the aisle is an IDIOT. It is possible to disagree in grace.
6. One last point: It is actually not possible to further your agenda without connecting on a human or personal level. It just doesn't work. I've seen thousands of political rants, conversational debates, and even formal meetings to "discuss" opposing beliefs and they have almost NEVER resulted in either side changing their opinion. Why? People don't care what you know or have to offer unless they know you care about them as a person..until you connect with them on a personal level.
It's sad how the social graces aren't practiced anymore as we have transitioned to spending so much time online. This is NOT how God intended for us to communicate with one another. Check out my study, 21 Days to More Godly Communication to see how the Lord intends for us to communicate with one another in grace. Scroll down to view the sample lesson. The entire study is only $7 this week, but hurry because this Friday we will remove three more studies from our Sizzling Summer Sale page!
]]>So, after careful consideration, we have decided to just leave the sale as is (with all 14 of our most popular titles at the sale price of only $7 each) as it is until I have had time to catch up on our other Grape Stuff site, which has a brand new product, show, newsletter and Facebook group that is launching this coming week (two weeks late).
Check out all the titles we have available during our Sizzling Summer Sale this month by clicking on the link. And please share this with any homeschool groups or individuals you know. This is actually a perfect time to keep the sale going as most homeschoolers are working on gathering curricula for the coming school year.
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That's it! Each month we will be hosting our AoE Share-A-Thon Contest! Just be the person with the most share points and you will win a $100 gift certificate to our store!
Here's How:
1. Share any individual product page (you can view all of our product pages from our catalog) or our sale page on any social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, blog, etc) along with a short note asking folks to click through and check us out.
2. Email me (JoJo @ ArtofEloquence .com) the link that shows you shared it.
3. Be the one with the most share points or one of our three runners up!
Share points:
1 point for every social media post (unless you have a large following)
5 points for every social media post to a group, community, individual social media account or blog with a larger following.
Winners:
Every month 1 (one) winner will be chosen from among all entries and will receive an email with their $100 gift certificate within two business days of the end of the previous month.
And every month 3 (three) runners up will be emailed their $20 gift certificates within two business days of the end of the previous month.
Just a few minutes of your time each month, each week or even each day can qualify you to receive $100 worth of vital information that will help you, your child, or your homeschool learn the skills that will improve your relationships, your career, your business, and your ministry!
So start sharing right now!
]]>If you have a blog or other social media account (Facebook, Twitter, etc) or you belong to a larger group in the homeschool or Christian niche, you can get a FREE copy of ANY Art of Eloquence communication study just by sharing our links.
Here's all you need to do:
Just post a link to one of our product pages with a short description asking folks to check it out. That's it!
What you can share:
1. A link to any one of our product pages. Here is a link to our catalog where you can choose a specific title to share.
or
2. You can share a link to our sale page where you will find 14 of our most popular titles on sale for only $7 each!
What to post:
Just the link and a very short description telling them to check it out. You can even copy the picture and description right from the product page or the listing on the sale page!
To Collect Your Free Study:
Just email me JoJo @ ArtofEloquence .com (without the spaces) and give me a link showing your 3 (three) posts sharing one of our products on social media with a decent following in a similar niche and tell me which study you'd like free I'll email it to you within 24-48 hours.
Yes, you can mix n match:
* You can share three different AoE studies if you like or the same study to three different social media sites.
* You can share a different study or studies than you would like to receive free.
* You can share a combination of individual products and a link to our site.
Communication is a vital skill in the Information Age. Our studies are fun and easy to use. Titles range from speech and debate to overcoming shyness, resolving conflicts, and sharing your Christian Faith among others.
Thank you for helping us get the word out about this important topic!
]]>I began seeing a chiropractor a few months ago in a quest to rid myself of some of the pain. I can't always tell what the source of the pain is as almost all of my diagnoses (and the list is long and distinguised) all have the same symptoms. Is it Fibro pain? Arthritis pain? TMJ pain? Headache pain? Aches due to thyroid disease? Peri menopause? Or did I stub my toe on the wall unit in my brain fogged state walking from the uncomfortable bed to the overstuffed couch?
So I tried the chiropractor who said he could help me get rid of at least the pain in my neck. While there I met the physician's assistant who asked me a bunch of questions and suggested things I might do. After a few months, it was apparent that the pain in my neck wasn't due to bones out of alignment so I stopped going.
A month after seeing her, I received a phone call from a compounding pharmacy in Florida one day asking me for my insurance info to send me some pain cream I never knew I was prescribed. I thought it was a joke or a scam at first because I live in Indiana. Surely there were compounding pharmacies in my own state. In fact, there are at least two of them in NW Indiana where I used to go to get my hormone cream made up.
After several phone calls back and forth to the pharmacy, the physician's assistant, the insurance company and a psychiatrist (okay that one was poetic license), I discovered that the PA wasn't in network and, therefore, couldn't prescribe for me.
To read more of this post, click here!
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Summer is a grape time for family fun!
On the menu this month: I have a grape recipe on tap for you via a YouTube video I found, Tips for summer fun from our brand new Family Fun on a Budget, and some links with further information and fun.
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An easy recipe for one of most family's favorites, the fruit roll up. This video is for applesauce, but you could substitute other pureed fruit.
If you don't have a silpat mat, you can use the Grape Grill Buddy which is also a wonderful baking mat.
Click here to see the video and read more of the Grape Stuff monthly post.
]]>Too often someone doesn't have the facts on their side so they are reduced to whining in order to support their argument. "It's unfair!" Unable to tell us why it's unfair and unwilling to take the time to explain themselves, the political answer is often to redefine the words and terms in order to suit their slant on the topic.
This is a three part series on a topic that I've actually discussed in years past, but with the political climate climbing toward the November elections this year, the ideological machines are in full swing redefining words, terms and phrases in order to substantiate their political agenda.
I'm no spring chicken. I've seen some hotly disputed political races in my time, but this election takes the proverbial cake. Not only are conservatives and liberals at each other's throats, but there is mudslinging and hate speech within EACH of the political parties. Usually a clear winner for both Democrats and Republicans has surfaced long before this stage during the primaries. This election has seen Democrats neck and neck between an entrenched politically seasoned female candidate and a hither to for virtual unknown admitted socialist. Republicans haven't seen much better as they find themselves with a front runner they like only slightly better than either of the two Democrats.
Elections and primaries aside, there are two words/terms that have been redefined in recent years which serves to confuse and confound. There are more, but I'll get into them in parts two and three. One is the word tolerance and the other is free speech. I'll take each in turn.
The New Tolerance: You must tolerate my choices, but I don't need to tolerate yours. Further, you must also ACCEPT them.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines tolerance as "The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with." Unfortunately, those who are the strongest advocates for tolerance have no tolerance for those with whom they do not agree.
Tolerance is requested and demanded by those advocating gay marriage, Muslim requests that suit their beliefs, or a woman's right to choose, but never for 2nd amendment rights to own a gun or a Christian's right not to have to bake a cake for a gay wedding. And not only is that not tolerated, but that Christian is called a hater for not accepting the other's beliefs.
As a Christian, I am not intolerant if I don't accept another's faith, but I must be tolerant of their right to worship as their faith dictates. I must be tolerant of another's faith that says their restaurant cannot serve pork. I can go elsewhere if that's what I want to eat, but I cannot make them accept my beliefs in order to force them to serve it to me. the same must be true for my beliefs and my business.
The New Freedom of Speech: You must allow me to speak what I want any way I want, but I'm offended by what YOU say so you can't speak.
This tolerance which only goes one way also spills over into the new free speech rules. Freedom of speech allows for all of us to speak our minds, but it doesn't mean that there are no consequences. The idea of free speech is to express our opinions freely--not to be mean spirited. If I choose words filled with hate, the consequence is that I may offend someone. I'll talk more about grace in an upcoming post, but for now I just wish to point out that HOW we say what we say is just as important if not more so than what we say.
Too many people on both sides of the political aisle now define free speech to mean they have the right to say whatever they want however they want. And those same people who are adamant about their freedom to speak their mind are the same ones who are so offended by another point of view as to deny that person(s) the right to their free speech.
A few years ago on the Vanderbilt University campus, Christian groups were told they could no longer meet on campus property. The group my daughter belonged to was spared because they met outside of campus and owned that property. Other groups were allowed to meet and freely share their beliefs, but Christians for the most part (as I understand it) were singled out. And for that matter, if a hate group like the KKK can legally hold meetings in public places, why are peaceful, Christian groups blocked from meeting in many public areas?
This kind of thinking always reminds me of a line from a scene in the movie Matilda (it's 30 seconds in). If you don't want to watch it, the phrase that encapsulates the new tolerance and free speech which applies "only to you if you agree with me" is this: "I'm smart; you're dumb. I'm right; you're wrong. I'm big; you're small. And there's nothing you can do about it."
In parts two and three of this blog series, I'll share about grace as a big part of our freedom of speech and how it goes a long way to tolerance as well as a few more terms that have been redefined, but I leave you with this. Tolerance is a two way street and should not require acceptance. We can agree to disagree. And free speech isn't an excuse to verbally abuse people.
Wouldn't it be better to discuss issues with those who feel or believe differently than we do? Think of how much we could learn. Unfortunately, it takes more than just tolerance and freedom of speech. It takes grace and I'll talk about that next time.
Thoughts?
]]>Anyone in your family have brain fog? If so, you'll want to read this funny story over on my personal blog where I shared about some of the frustrations you have with chronic illness...
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Frustration is one of the key components of chronic illness. We are frustrated because we are tired and in pain. We are frustrated with doctors who don’t help. We are frustrated that our friends and family don’t understand. And we are frustrated with the red tape of our health insurance.
So it’s bad enough to have to feel varying degrees of pain all over your body that NEVER goes away, but to have that pain and fatigue get tangled up in the red tape of health insurance is maddening and has used up the remaining few brain cells that hadn’t already run away from home.
It’s taken me months (and three changes to my primary care physician) to be assigned someone who I believe might help. GPs are useless. I’ve seen many of them in the 35+ yrs I’ve had these symptoms and NOT ONE of them has come close to making a dent in the symptom list. In fact, it grows daily. Last week, I woke up to pain in my biceps. Have I been lifting tall building in a single dream? A few weeks before that it was my elbows. You know, the part in between the pointy sticky out bone part and the inside less pointy and sticky out part. Just to gently touch it sends my pain level to defcon 1.
What was my point? Until I remember what it was, let me also point out how bad the brain fog is getting lately. I spent literally 3-5 minutes trying to remember my last name once. In my defense, I’ve only been married 29 yrs! The other day I was telling my son (you know, old what’s his name) about my niece. Her name escaped me at the time and it left no forwarding address. I said Heather, but I knew that was wrong. To my credit, her name does begin with the letter H. Or is it Q? Read the rest of the article here...
]]>Summer is a grape time to be with family and a good time to begin finding activities you and your family love to do together. The weather is good enough to do inside and outside activities.
However, this special gift for your family also gives you ideas for winter as well as anything in between.
It's free! So download your copy by visiting the Grape Stuff blog post here!
If you liked this post, please share it on social media! The buttons are below. And we’d love your feedback so please share your thoughts in a comment!
]]>I'm reinstating them post haste, but at a slower interval. Having to keep up with three blogs, three Facebook fan pages, a teenager who is in his final years of homeschooling, and my ever increasing owies, has given me pause to consider a more realistic approach. Instead of writing three blogs every week, I'm going to write each blog once a month (on the 10th, 20th, and 30th of each month) and share a link back to that month's article on each of the other blogs. Each one of my blogs are related (communication, family issues, and chronic issues) so my readers will get better content that offers more for the families I serve.
This month, I've decided to share an in-depth article on the value of effective communication that hits home for all of my readers. While some of you may not give speeches, suffer from shyness, need conflict resolution or debate on a regular basis, you DO communicate with people via email and text. This article will help you do that with a precision of language that yields a more positive result.
This month, I'm taking my purple feather quill and doing a critique of an email I just received. Now, this is not a typical SPAM email from BuyMyStuff @ gmail .com that tells me they know why I'm fat. This is a serious email from a real person (whose name has been changed for this critique) who made some mistakes I felt you all could learn from.
Here is the original email with the name and address changed:
Hi Jo,
My name is Will U. Help, Author of Best Seller: How To Do Something. I just came across artofeloquence.com and was very impressed. Great job!
The reason I'm writing you today is to ask if you would be interested in publishing a 100% unique article that I provide exclusively for artofeloquence.com? I would only ask for a single link in a short, "about the author" section at the end of the article.
I'm offering this to build my online portfolio, while getting a few links to my site at the same time.
If you look at my site at you'll see I'm focused on only quality content!
Though I specialize in that field, I can write on just about any topic.
If you're interested just respond and I'll get an article over to you ASAP. If not, I appreciate your time nonetheless!
Best Regards,
Will U. Help
123 Main Street Anywhere USA
This is actually not too badly written. It's friendly, complimentary, gracious, and respectful. Further, it's personal and obviously written by a real human being. It could be a form letter, but appears well suited to the circumstances and my website. Great job there! However, there are some issues that, if changed, would make this a MUCH better first contact email.
* First, NEVER address someone by anything other than exactly how they referred to him/herself. My name is JoJo. It's not Jo and it's not Jo Jo. It's JoJo. In fact, a stranger might make an even better impression if he were to address me as Mrs. Tabares. However, if you've read any of my articles, you would notice that I'm pretty informal and I wouldn't take offense to an email addressing me by my first name (JoJo; definitely NOT Jo!).
* The next problem I have with this email is the punctuation and word choice errors. There is a question mark at the end of a statement, a comma missing further down and a word choice here and there that I'd change if it were my email. If you are asking a website owner to publish your "quality" content, it should be free of these kinds of errors.
* Another problem I see with this email is exaggeration. The author purports to be able to write on ANY subject. This sounds a bit unrealistic and rather grandiose. It would be better to state the various topics that would apply to my website for two reasons. The first is that it wouldn't sound like he was overstating his qualifications. Nobody can competently write on ALL topics. The second is that it would get me thinking about why I should take the time to check into his proposal further.
I write ALL my own content partially because I have control over the content to make sure it is accurate and helpful. Additionally, it's because I'm in the business of selling my own materials and not spending my time and money to promote someone else's. HOWEVER, I do occasionally have guest authors when I feel their content would be beneficial to my readers and wouldn't conflict with my own materials. Mine are best! :D
The author's book title is only slightly related to my focus, but I might consider it if he had stated what specific topics he would be willing and able to address that might be a different area of expertise from my own. It DOES happen! LOL
* The last GLARING mistake he made was not including his contact information. While he did include his mailing address and I do have his email address (though it is a gmail address), I don't have his website or phone number. ANY good business email should include your full name, website, and email address (if you aren't using your business email address for this email) as well as a phone number. Even though I might be interested in having him guest post for me, I don't want to have to take the time to research his name and book title to try to find his website and contact information.
When you are contacting someone via email (for business or otherwise), you will get better results if you do the following:
1. Address the person more formally if you don't know them and use the proper spelling of their name.
2. Be cordial or friendly--even if you are upset about something.
3. Be clear about who you are and what you want. Don't make them wonder, guess or scratch their head and give up trying to make out what you want or need.
4. Don't exaggerate your point or qualifications. It makes you sound less credible.
5. Include your contact information so that the other person doesn't need to jump through Google hoops to find you.
6. Look over your email before you hit send for any errors that may make you appear less educated, less sincere, less clear or even rude.
That's all from JoJo's purple feather quill of correction. I hope this helps. Please share your thoughts and experiences below! And if you liked this post, please share it on Facebook, Twitter and other social media.
]]>Those who don't feel the need to be careful about what they say or how they say it are the very same individuals who become irate at the audacity of others to say X or do Y. The ones who believe they have the right to speak their mind any way they feel like it are the very ones who are aggravated and offended by a Facebook friend who posted her beliefs.
Isn't it a bit hypocritical to expect others to choose their words carefully while you profess your right to free speech without saying it in grace? It kind of reminded me of the comedy routine about being a Redneck. So here, for your giggling pleasure, is You Might Be a Communication Fool If:
* If you believe others have a responsibility to think before they speak, but you can be rude because "it's just how I feel"...you might be a communication fool.
* If you scour the internet for things to get upset about...you might be a communication fool.
* If you get offended when someone doesn't include you in something after you've offended them with your insensitive comment or judgmental remark...you might be a communication fool.
* If you tell someone off and can't figure out why they don't want to listen to you...you might be a communication fool.
* If you get offended because someone else got offended because you used an offensive term...you might be a communication fool.
* And you just knew I had to add this one...If you don't use Art of Eloquence studies...so you can learn to communicate effectively in a fun and engaging way...You might be a communication fool!
Don't be a communication fool! Check out all the materials Art of Eloquence provides to help your family!
(Homeschool Courses, Public Speaking, Overcoming Shyness, Conflict Resolution, Sharing Your Faith, and Business and Leadership)
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Got any others? Share them here!
]]>"25 Ways to Save Money with Coupons"
"Sixteen Things You Need to Know to Live Through a Heart Attack"
"Why you don't want to eat that vegetable you think is good for you!"
"How to Get the Most Out of Your Workout"
But when you click over to read the article, you find one line of text and one picture with an arrow ====> you need to click on to get to the next picture and line of text. You're a bit annoyed, but you click over...and over...and over...and over...and over...until you are only 1/4 of the way through the article, you haven't read the most important part of the article that was previewed in the social media link/picture, and you decide your time is worth more than the promise of the information you thought you would like to know.
If you tell us you have "12 Easy Ways to Blah Blah Blah," don't make us jump through fire and water to find them. We'll feel you lied to us or at the very least, what you have isn't easy or worth it. In fact, sometimes it's not even that easy! There are articles I've found my way to where I saw the first line of text, a bunch of ads, pictures of celebrities in various stages of undress, weird slimy animals and a few graphics I couldn't figure out what they had to do with the subject matter or website theme. Or worse yet, I click through the entire 25 pages of article piece by piece and NEVER find the picture or piece of information it advertised! And I'm thinking..."Liar Liar Pants on Fire! "
How many of you have continued on to read the entire article? How many times will you click to read an entire article? For me and most people, that number is probably three or four. NOT 16! There is something far too annoying about having to click through 20 pages of one line of text with a picture to read an article that should have taken up a normal blog post!
This is akin to the annoyance and frustration you feel when being forced to endure a pop up subscription notice before you are granted the ability to see whether or not you'd even like to read the ONE article you were curious about. And it's like trying to read a blog post while having to wade through endless ads and pictures of things you hope your toddler isn't around to question.
There must be some purpose for these sites as so many of them are constructed this way these days, but I dare say most people (if they are at all like me) wouldn't waste their precious time on them unless we believed that within the webpages of that article held the answer to eternal life. This is NOT an effective way to disseminate information or gain followers to your blog.
Now most bloggers or website articles don't adopt this incredibly frustrating method of communicating their message, but some do come close. If you want people to read (and understand) your message, please don't clutter your page with ads, pictures, arrows, miscellaneous graphics, and pop ups. Don't be surprised we don't comment if you require us give our name, rank and serial number to create a "profile."
If you truly want readers, make it easy for us to read and understand your message. If you want comments, make it EASY for us to do that. The older I get, the less patience I have for frustration and the more I value my time. After all, I'm not getting any younger.
If you like this article, please share. If you'd like to learn more about how to communicate more effectively, take a look at all the materials Art of Eloquence has to offer.
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Studying communication skills and being careful to craft your conversations isn't important just for special occasions when you are endorsing your choice for president, trying to influence your customer, interviewing for a job or promotion, or convincing your neighbor not to trample your begonias.
Communication is vital for any relationship. You cannot have a relationship without communication and you cannot have a good relationship without effective communication. Think of it this way. You might be able to get through your entire life without ever having to make a speech or sell anything to anyone, but you will never get through one day without communicating something to someone in your life.
This month, I'd like you all to share the one word or phrase that best describes your state of mind at present. Some of you are experiencing life's joys and others are going through trying times. If you are happy to report a blessing, I'd love it if you'd share that so that we may rejoice with you. If you are currently undergoing trials, I'd be honored if you would share as much as you'd like to about that so that we may pray for you and your family.
The blessings or trails we experience in life contribute to our state of mind and how we see the world. It also colors how we describe the world and how we communicate with others. Dark times often darken our perception and the words we use as well as how we deal with others.
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Check out all the ways Art of Eloquence can help
you and your family communicate more effectively!
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In my case, the word I'd choose is confusion. It's a very confusing time for me for many reasons:
Insomnia and brain fog from several of my chronic illnesses have overwhelmed my cognitive function and often my sanity. Recently, I spent three to five minutes trying to recall my last name. To be fair, I have only been married for 29 years! In addition, not too long ago I found myself in front of the pantry for an extended time period after which I remembered that what I was looking for is kept in the refrigerator. When asked, I told my son that I was looking for the Avocado Juice. For those of you who don't speak Perimenopause, that means Almond Milk.
Aside from the "Mental Pause" issues, I have experienced a series of overwhelming life events: our daughter's wedding in June of last year, our recent move to the Indy area where I am unfamiliar with my surroundings, the fact that my dh had been out of work for almost a year, his job which is as yet only temporary, and an increase in body parts that either hurt or no longer function as advertised.
What one word or phrase would you say best describes your state of mind? How may we rejoice with or pray for you?
]]>If you take time to look at and consider carefully each and every time you communicate with someone...if you think of it as a special occasion, I think it will be easier for you to remember to make sure you do so effectively and in grace. To that end, I have provided links to some of my most important communication articles to start you off with this year.
"Communication is a word you’ve probably heard since you were young, but I’ll bet you can’t define it. Some people think communication is talking, conversation, making a speech or persuading someone of something. Others think it’s manners, etiquette or social graces....Everyone learns to talk. Very few learn to communicate effectively. It isn’t because it’s a set of skills only important for lawyers and politicians. It’s because society fully understands when communication is done badly, but does not understand that the reason behind the conflicts, divorce, lost job opportunities, and failed businesses is most often an inability to effectively express the vision." -Click the above link to read the entire article.
Communication Technology Doesn’t Replace Communication Skill!
"Did you know that 87% of what you do all day is communication related? Or that only 43% of people surveyed said they are effective communicators? Effective communication is a dying art. Know how I know? Call any company and see how fast you can reach a live body. When you get one, how often are you frustrated with the customer service you receive?" -Click the above link to read the entire article.
Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills
"Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, have deeper relationships, longer marriages, are more successful, make more money and are generally happier than their less articulate counterparts. The Lord felt communication skills so important for our lives that He mentions communication skills literally HUNDREDS of times in His Word." -Click the above link to read the entire article.
Influence of Texting on Communication Skills
"Nd U 2 gt rpt 2me by fri5. Bob. Can you imagine receiving this email from a high level manager at a major corporation? What would you think of the company who sent this to you, their customer? If you think this is a an exaggeration, guess again! Many researchers believe that texting and email have contributed to the drastic decrease in effective communication skills of this generation. In this article, I am going to cover how texting and email have caused our skills to deteriorate even in the corporate world, how laziness has helped to increase miscommunication, how the impersonal nature of technological communication has increased rudeness and aggression, and hampered our friendships and other social skills. Lastly, I’m going to share some tips that will help you and your children avoid these pitfalls increasing your chances of success in your personal and professional life." -Click the above link to read the entire article.
Are We Just Too Broke to Pay Attention?
"Life’s busy in the 21st Century, but if we all take just a few moments to really read or listen to the other party, we might actually save ourselves a great deal of time and frustration. Read those emails carefully before you reply. Actively listen to the speaker before you respond. Move that milk carton just a smidge! You just might answer your own question…before you spend endless nanoseconds to ask it!" -Click the above link to read the entire article.
How Important is Face-to-Face Communication in the Computer Age?
"This is the Information Age where instead of walking down the street to talk to a neighbor, we email them. In order not to spend a half an hour chatting with a chatty friend, we text them. In lieu of spending time with extended family, we catch up with them on Facebook. How important is face to face or at least voice to voice communication in the Computer Age? Are our relationships missing something? Have we “technologized” ourselves into a nameless, faceless communication pattern that leaves our relationships lacking? I think we have!" -Click the above link to read the entire article.
Relationships are All About Communication!
"Good relationships rely on effective communication skills. It’s a huge part of our friendships, our parenting and our professional life. Studies have shown that effective communicators have better relationships, closer friendships, make more money and are generally happier people. Why? Because effective communicators have the ability to relate with others, the confidence to express their needs/desires and possess the ability to persuade others to adopt or otherwise act on their ideas." -Click the above link to read the entire article.
Make sure to look before you leap into your communication to make sure you are the most effective in your relationships. You'll find more of my most popular articles here!
And don't forget that today is the last day to get our Valentine Special Package that helps you gain confidence and comfort in sharing your faith and speaking in grace.
]]>Each month, I'm going to ask you all a question that will hopefully get you thinking, keep your organized and/or give you a giggle. So this month's question is:
What one word or phrase do you NOT want to hear this year (2016) and why? (Has your son or daughter been *working* you about something? Is there a life lesson you'd rather have not had to learn? Have you been relocated...AGAIN? Is there a word or phrase associated with trials you've had that you'd like to be over and done with?)
I'll go first. This year, I don't want to hear the phrase "Over Qualified." After a year of my dh being out of work (and hearing this as the excuse not to grant him an interview), I'd like nothing better than NOT to hear this word. Ever. Again. In life!
In all that time he's not had even ONE interview. Most of the jobs, whose pay are in line with his former salary, he's been a day late to the conversation. By the time he learned of the opening, the job was already filled. The other jobs he'd have happily taken, that pay considerably less, won't even consider him because he's over qualified.
I am happy to report that he has been hired to a temporary position (oddly enough without an interview). We are grateful to God that he finally has a job, but we are praying he finds permanent position. And if it paid more and were closer to home that would be appreciated. He does have an interview tomorrow so we'd appreciate your prayers. Either way, I'd love not to have to ever hear that phrase again.
So...what one word or phrase would YOU not want to hear this year? What one word of phrase would you like to break free from? Go!
]]>>The nurse at the dr's office weighed me yesterday. I was not happy with that number so I asked her if she wouldn't mind erasing that and subtracting eight from it before writing in her final answer.
>What does it say about our family that the menopausal woman, who cries at toilet paper commercials, is the morale officer? After prayer, I'm the one in charge of reading funnies I find on Facebook. Oh the irony!
>One score and nine years ago (back on January 24th), our Father brought forth upon this couple a new marriage, conceived in youth, and dedicated to the proposition that both parties were created UNequal...in stature...as you can plainly see.
>I don't even have a train of thought anymore. It's just a toy box car full of cobwebs, Twilight Zone episodes, and the Macarena.
>I believe someone secretly switched my ibuprofen for odd looking Tic Tacs. Otherwise, what part of "I'd like the pain to STOP now" don't they understand?
>We're a little touched in the head. We went walking after dinner...it's 27 degrees...feels like 16...and it's snowing.
>JoJoism#521: "Menopause and Frozen Shoulder don't mix. A hot flash is so much hotter when you can't take off your sweater!" JoJoisms: Revealing Life's Truths...as I think of 'em!
>Long Hair Problem #10: Putting your hand by your face to brush a hair off that got caught in your eyelashes, getting your finger caught in your hair on the way down, and having it get even more tangled in your hair forest during the long trip back to your side.
I'm actually thinking of creating some videos with my own brand of Stand Up Comedy. I'm thinking I'd be the Menopause Comic bringing Comedy to the Brain Fogged Masses. But enough about me...
How 'bout you? Got any of yours to add to my giggle fest? Share a comment below:
]]>Do you go around quoting your favorite movie lines?
I've talked before about how technology has affected our communication, but after watching the following Tim Hawkins video, I began contemplating how movies and TV shows have influenced my own communication.
Watch:
We quote TV shows and movies a LOT around my house. What about you? And now we have a culture kind of like this Star Trek episode where Captain Picard has an encounter with the being who speaks in references: "Darmak and Jilad at Tenagra!"
How have movies and TV affected how you communicate with others? Do you use a form of story-like communication that relies on a shared understanding of society's movies and TV show lines? What are your favorites?
]]>Valentine's Day is typically filled with chocolates and flowers to given to sweethearts, but there is a greater love shown us by The Father as Jesus willingly sacrificed himself for us. That kind of agape love is something we can't even really begin to understand, but that love is what saved us all from sin is the reason we are mandated to share that love and the Gospel with others.
The only problem is that it's not so easy these days! Why? Because most Christians are afraid to share something that our government and political correctness has deemed inappropriate or offensive. And also because they are unprepared to answer the questions unbelievers have about God and salvation.
This Valentine's Day, Art of Eloquence would like to help put the emphasis on the agape love of Jesus and the free gift of salvation that God offers us all. To that end, we have a VERY special offer for you this year. It's the first of its kind in all the years we've been in business and it's, frankly, the most important offer we've ever had!
But that doesn't have to be! Not with my study, Say What You Mean: Defending the Faith. This study was years in the making and a result of my own experience growing up being of Jewish heritage in an Atheist home. What most Christians don't know about how to share the Gospel with the unchurched could fill a book...and it did! Mine! What you don't know...what you don't understand can make the difference between reaching an unbeliever with God's Word and helping him build a wall between himself and anyone else who comes along after you who dares to share with him, even if it's in a different way.
21 Days to More Godly Communication is a collection of articles written by JoJo Tabares (the author of all of the Art of Eloquence materials) covering a wide range of topics that all boil down to teaching the art of communicating in love and grace. It's a collection of scriptures that are explained and discussed to help us learn to communicate more effectively for the Kingdom by doing so in grace and with love and understanding which is not always easy to do in this anger filled world. In addition to these 21 articles, there are several BONUS articles available from a secret link to our site at the end of the program.
In addition to these two incredible programs, if you purchase this package this week, you will also receive a FREE BONUS GIFT! 28 Days of Love is a collection of scriptures and quotes from the rich and famous about what love is and how we show it. These precious tidbits of love speak to us and encourage us to live and give love to those around us. And it's a free gift to you when you order this special Valentine's Day Package available until February 15th ONLY!
AND just for ordering this package, you will also receive a $10 gift certificate toward any future Art of Eloquence purchase! That's a $55 value all yours until February 15th for just $17.00!
It's not just the words you use, but how you share your ideas and feelings that matter because speaking is not the same thing as communicating. Most everyone learns to speak eventually, but very few master the art of effective communication. Very few learn the skills it takes to get their point across in love and with grace. Precious few these days even find value in taking the time to choose their words carefully let alone studying the skills that will help them bridge friendships, sustain marriages and build the kingdom of God.
Most people think speech communication only affects lawyers and politicians. Most think communication is just the art of giving a formal speech.
The truth is that you may go your entire life without having to give a formal speech, but you will not go a day without needing to communicate with friends, family, neighbors or co workers.
How many times have you found that someone took offense to something you said? How many times was it due to your not being aware of how you came across to that person?
Communication skills are generally not taught in schools unless it's a speech class. It's not getting through a speech course once or twice that helps you build your communication skills enough to build relationships and leadership opportunities. It's the continual training and honing of your skills that will allow you to accomplish great things. And God has them for you to do in your life. He has chosen you for great things that only YOU can do, but if you are not prepared to share them effectively with others, your mission will be hindered.
Don't handicap your mission by not learning the skills you need to communicate your ideas to others. Let Art of Eloquence help! Check out all our programs and don't forget to train your children. Children who learn to be effective communicators early in life will be one step ahead of their peers when looking for a job and will help them forge, develop and protect their relationships for a lifetime.
How can we help you? Please comment here and share our post on social media!
Feel free to email me with any questions you may have about our programs or communication skills in general. jojo@artofeloquence.com
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The Influence of Texting on Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares
“Nd U 2 gt rpt 2me by fri5. Bob”
Can you imagine receiving this email from a high level manager at a major corporation? What would you think of the company who sent this to you, their customer? If you think this is a an exaggeration, guess again! Many researchers believe that texting and email have contributed to the drastic decrease in effective communication skills of this generation. In this article, I am going to cover how texting and email have caused our skills to deteriorate even in the corporate world, how laziness has helped to increase miscommunication, how the impersonal nature of technological communication has increased rudeness and aggression, and hampered our friendships and other social skills. Lastly, I’m going to share some tips that will help you and your children avoid these pitfalls increasing your chances of success in your personal and professional life.
1. Bad Communication Skills Even in Corporate America:
“Communication is all anyone ever gets paid for ultimately…and if you cannot effectively communicate, you will pay…not get paid!” -Doug Firebaugh
According to a 2005 article in the Pittsburg Post Gazette, employers are complaining about communication skills. Bosses say the biggest failing among college graduates/job applicants is the inability to speak and write effectively. Communication skills now top the list of qualities employers seek because these are qualities they cannot teach in their two week new-hire training sessions. But these qualities are consistently at the bottom of the list perspective employees possess at the interview. According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, good communication skills were what employers said was most lacking in college job candidates.
Debra Vargulish is a training administrator at the Latrobe-based global tooling company who recruits on college campuses for Kennametal Inc. She reported that the students she meets are often inarticulate and shy, “They seem to be way better at using technology than older people. It’s actually the content that is missing. A lot of them don’t know what to say at all, and that’s not good.”
In my lifetime, technology has been nothing short of amazing! It has had some incredibly powerful influences on our ability to communicate. We are able to communicate with almost anyone around the world at the stroke of a key. We can find information in a nano second. Email and texting allow us convenient access to our friends on our schedule, give us a simple way to connect and pass along vital information, and help family and friends remain close even though they are hundreds of miles apart. However, texting and email has also been cited as a reason communication skills have deteriorated in recent years. The use of email shorthand is one of the reasons stated. According to a recent study, 25% have used emoticons in their school writing; 50% have used informal punctuation and grammar; 38% have used text shortcuts such as “LOL” meaning “laugh out loud”.
“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” -Hubert H. Humphrey
In a recent Harris Interactive and Teenage Research Unlimited survey, researchers found that instant messaging keeps families interconnected online, but can also lead to fewer in-person meetings, outings and less time actually talking. He said the data collected showed communicating online can be overused and is beginning to replace real-life relationships with virtual ones. |
“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” -Lee Iacocca
2. People are getting lazy with info and not used to checking things out or thinking things through:
With so much information (and misinformation) a click away, many no longer do their due diligence to make sure they are passing along information that is accurate. Passing along misinformation can not only create a panic where none need exist but it can also destroy your credibility. I’ve seen large Facebook groups predicated on an untruth. When the group leaders find out their cause is invalid their group members have a hard time trusting them with any other information.
Laziness causes poor attention spans and writing skills as well. A recent story in the New York Times about the negative effects of text messaging reported statistics from the Nielsen Company showing teenagers in the United States averaged about 80 text messages per day in the fourth quarter of 2008. Text messages allow teenagers to communicate in places where cell phones are not allowed, primarily school. It’s fairly easy to hide a cell phone and text, and texting teenagers aren’t focusing on the lesson and a decreased attention span ensues. According to the University of Alabama computers and applied Technology Program 2009, “Technology Education: A Series of Case Studies,” Mrs. Diego’s 9th grade English student papers are fraught with short, choppy sentences that give no depth.
Further, many teens spend so much time texting, they are not aware of the proper uses of words or phrases and are not used to thinking things through. Here’s something I heard in the park the other day. A 14 y/o girl told her 4 y/o step sister, “Your soon-to-be father-in-law is on a plane right now.” As I listened to the conversation that followed where the older girl repeatedly used this term, it appeared that the 14 y/o was probably talking about her father who was going to adopt her step sister.
3. Increase in Rudeness and aggression:
According to Christina Durano, “Social Skills Impeded by Technology,” DailySkiff.com, “Not only do electronics hinder the development of our interpersonal communication skills, but they can also be just plain rude. Sometimes I want to grab the phone out of someone’s hands and throw it on the ground so they actually look at me during our conversation. It’s not that I think I’m so high and mighty that I actually deserve people’s attention; it’s just that there are some basic rights everyone deserves – one of which is the right to have a two-way conversation.”
Have you noticed how inconsiderate some movie goers are lately? You can’t step into a movie theater anymore without encountering a sea of cell phones backlit as their owners thumb their way through endless online games or beep-ridden text messaging. And don’t get me started on the increased aggression on forums, Yahoo groups and chats due to the anonymity of the faceless, impersonal connections made online. People feel justified in expressing anger and voicing disrespect because they don’t have to look their victims in the eye when they communicate it.
4. Hampering Friendships and social skills
There are severe disadvantages to the influence of technology on interpersonal communication. In our zest to connect with people all over the globe, we often neglect our own neighbors. Togetherness is being neglected in contradiction to the basic survival instinctual behaviors. People won’t see any need to be more physically interactive. Already it is possible to perform major activities without physical interaction — it’s even possible to exercise or engage in sporting activities with a virtual competitor.
Because of the increase in text messaging and email, some experts like Rick Pukis, an Associate Professor of Communications at Augusta State University, say texting could be affecting the way we interact.
“Text messaging has made us a very impersonal society today. They’re not communicating, not using any facial expressions, like smiling so when they get back into a situation where they’re talking to someone, they don’t smile,” said Pukis.
“Someone can whip one out in thirty seconds and they’re like, ‘Ahh, I took care of this, I communicated. You didn’t really communicate, you just shot out a one line sentence over to me and didn’t really convey any thoughts,” said Pukis.
My niece recently attended a friend’s birthday party and found herself in the middle of a texting marathon. Each girl, cell phone in hand, was texting the boys who were not present at the party and each other even though they were in the room with each other for several hours!
5. What to do?
In order for you and your family to avoid these pitfalls which can result in a serious lack of effective communication skills that can hamper your personal and professional success in life, I recommend you don’t overlook studying communication skills. Art of Eloquence has a wealth of information on our site dedicated to your success.
The Lord tells us in Proverbs 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” And remember that, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com