Poll: Is Big Doctor Watching...Your Kids?
My dh took our son to CVS pharmacy to get his sports physical the other day. I was shocked to hear the questions she asked him. It was like Child Protective Services questions asked of a child suspected of being abused. They asked him if he felt safe at home and does he always wear a seatbelt, does he feel anxious or nervous. I thought...is this customary for drs to ask here in Arizona? According to friends and neighbors...IT IS!
My dh filled out the form saying he was homeschooled. Do you think this had anything to do with the line of questioning? I would have thought Arizona was less inclined to do things like this than California, but he was not asked anything like this when he did his sports physical for football.
My dh didn't answer the question of immunization on the form, but I wonder what she would have said about that. She did say he wasn't due for his booster yet but asked if he had his immunization record and my dh simply said no.
What I am concerned about is that some dr, who doesn’t know me or my family, could interpret the answers to these questions in a way that would lead to my family being investigated for no reason.
I have seen cases in California where these seemingly innocent questions have lead to someone having all their kids taken away only to find a few yrs later that these allegations were completely unfounded, or worse yet, lies told by jealous family members or neighbors. After which the damage to the family (mostly the children) was already done. These questions don’t apply to most people, but they could lead to abuse without probable cause.
I wouldn’t object if they found my son in their office with bruises all over him or acting funny, but not as a routine where any 4 yr old could say something that might be interpreted by the untrained eye to be the beginning of years of devastation for a family.
Doctors are authority figures imposing to young children and these days to their mothers as well. Parents afraid of a confrontation, who don't know the laws and/or who are not effective communicators may say the wrong thing, be bullied into allowing a line of questioning that subjects their child to being badgered. A young child may not know how to answer these questions or answer incorrectly so it may be misinterpreted.
If you allow the questions, you take the risk of you or your child saying something that might be misinterpreted as incriminating. If you don't allow them, you risk coming off looking like you have something to hide!
What say you? Do you know your rights? Do you know how to gracefully and efficiently get out of a situation like this? What would you say? Have you ever been asked these kinds of questions? What do you think about this practice? Do you think it's inappropriate?
If you'd like some help in honing your skills so that you can be more assertive in situations like this, check out Say What You Mean Every Day over at Art of Eloquence.com
14 comments
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On one hand it’s good of doctors to ask certain questions if they suspect that the child is being abused at home. On the other hand it can be very intrusive and bordering on plain nosiness.
I ALWAYS went in with our son when he was under age.Great blogpost, JoJo!
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I always go with my children when they visit the Dr, which doesn’t happen very often. The last time we went to the Dr was for my daughter, she ended up having strep throat. She hadn’t been sick, so therefore, hadn’t been to the Dr in about 2 years. The nurse gave me a very hard time about this and kept asking where else she went to the Dr. I spoke with the Dr about this…she said she’d talk with her nurse.
There’s NO way my children are going into that exam room with questions like those without me!
The argument that some children are abused, so all must be asked these questions is ridiculous. Sorry. The information they glean from those questions can certainly be used against you, if they so choose. Just homeschooling can be “cause for concern”.My husband and I accompany each other into our checkups, there’s no way I’m not doing the same for my children. If a Dr has a problem with that, it’s time to change Dr’s.
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Hi JoJo!
Well, it is not just kids who get these weird questions. When I found out I was pregnant back in May, I started looking for an OB. (This is my first baby since our move so I didn’t have one.) You wouldn’t believe the questions. “Did I feel safe at home? How many partners do I have? Does anyone in our home own a gun? Am I happy about the pregnancy? Was it a planned pregnancy?” Needless to say, I did not fill out the questionairre for those drs. that asked questions that had, IMHO, NOTHING to do with them caring for my baby! But I was shocked and dismayed. I thought it might only be here in WI but apparently not….. I think we really need to screen our drs. and find out where they stand on issues like vaccines, large families, homeschooling, etc. My husband always reminds me that it is a business and they work for us. We don’t have to blindly listen to them- OR fill out their forms!Happy Thanksgiving!
mel -
Unfortunately I never think to ask these things BEFORE I go in, but I have fired MANY a doctor in my lifetime.