Poll: Is Big Doctor Watching...Your Kids?
My dh took our son to CVS pharmacy to get his sports physical the other day. I was shocked to hear the questions she asked him. It was like Child Protective Services questions asked of a child suspected of being abused. They asked him if he felt safe at home and does he always wear a seatbelt, does he feel anxious or nervous. I thought...is this customary for drs to ask here in Arizona? According to friends and neighbors...IT IS!
My dh filled out the form saying he was homeschooled. Do you think this had anything to do with the line of questioning? I would have thought Arizona was less inclined to do things like this than California, but he was not asked anything like this when he did his sports physical for football.
My dh didn't answer the question of immunization on the form, but I wonder what she would have said about that. She did say he wasn't due for his booster yet but asked if he had his immunization record and my dh simply said no.
What I am concerned about is that some dr, who doesn’t know me or my family, could interpret the answers to these questions in a way that would lead to my family being investigated for no reason.
I have seen cases in California where these seemingly innocent questions have lead to someone having all their kids taken away only to find a few yrs later that these allegations were completely unfounded, or worse yet, lies told by jealous family members or neighbors. After which the damage to the family (mostly the children) was already done. These questions don’t apply to most people, but they could lead to abuse without probable cause.
I wouldn’t object if they found my son in their office with bruises all over him or acting funny, but not as a routine where any 4 yr old could say something that might be interpreted by the untrained eye to be the beginning of years of devastation for a family.
Doctors are authority figures imposing to young children and these days to their mothers as well. Parents afraid of a confrontation, who don't know the laws and/or who are not effective communicators may say the wrong thing, be bullied into allowing a line of questioning that subjects their child to being badgered. A young child may not know how to answer these questions or answer incorrectly so it may be misinterpreted.
If you allow the questions, you take the risk of you or your child saying something that might be misinterpreted as incriminating. If you don't allow them, you risk coming off looking like you have something to hide!
What say you? Do you know your rights? Do you know how to gracefully and efficiently get out of a situation like this? What would you say? Have you ever been asked these kinds of questions? What do you think about this practice? Do you think it's inappropriate?
If you'd like some help in honing your skills so that you can be more assertive in situations like this, check out Say What You Mean Every Day over at Art of Eloquence.com
14 comments
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I know and some of them NEVER get questioned. I think the system is broken because they are trying to find a one size fits all solution for a very complicated issue that is quite different for each person/family. People are no longer empowered by common sense and independent thinking but by a rigid formula. God didn’t make cookie cutter people. I’ve said it so many times. There is no one size fits all solution. Instead, there should critical thinking, discernment and effective communication.
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I do a workshop on this subject. How to safely navigate the medical maze. I encourage parents to be word wise. Be clear. The dr’s office or ER is no longer to time to be sarcastic or cute. Jokes and stories that do not directly relate to the issue at hand don’t need to be said.
There are also “special populations” that are watched extra careful for signs of abuse, special needs, elderly, non-verbal, and (to many professionals) homeschooled children.
God bless
Heather Laurie
www.specialneedshomeschooling.com -
My kids (and I) get these questions all the time. What’s most ludicrous is when I am in the room… “Do you feel safe at home?”… right, like a child who does NOT feel safe is going to say, “Why, yes, as a matter of fact, mom abuses me often.”
My kids have had to say that they want me in the room with them. They’ve had to say, “That’s too personal… I’d prefer not to answer.” My adult children still often want me with them, and my doctor knows that, but others don’t. My 22 yo daughter is currently seeing a cardiologist. You bet she wanted me with her! Not only for support, but because two sets of ears listening are better than one!
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I thought about that also. How silly is it to ask the child with the mom standing there if she is the one who is abusing him.
I once had a dr upset with me for coming into the room with my dd when he was examining her. It was for a shoulder injury torn ligament or something due to Karate. No bruises or anything. His argument was though that she was old enough to go in herself. Well, she was but I’m the mom and I wanted to know what was wrong and ask some questions and make sure HE didn’t abuse her!
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Thank you Heather! Great advice!