Toxic Language

Have you ever had a time in your life where you were offended by something someone implied because of the words they used?  I’d also be willing to bet that there was a time when you had occasion to go back and discuss the issue with that person and found that they hadn’t meant it the way it sounded.  How did you feel about having been upset with them for no reason?  Did you wish you had asked for clarification and avoided months or even years of ill-will?  I’ll bet you did and I’ll bet others have felt the same way about something you once said or posted. Toxic language accuses, blames and convicts. How can you detoxify your communication? * Check your attitude The first step in detoxifying your communication or your words is to check your attitude before you speak. Are you angry with someone right now?  Make sure you don’t take it out on those around you.  Take care not to spill your venom all over the innocent. * Soften your voice Whether you are upset, hurried, harried or just naturally gruff, make your voice soft and gentle.  The Bible has a lot to say on this topic. Here are a few scriptures:  ”Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”  Colossians 4:6 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 * Relax your face and smile The saying “Notify your face” comes to mind.  Some people don’t mean to look mean but they just don’t naturally go through life with a big fat grin on their face.  Others are in a bad mood. Simply relaxing your face and smiling will help you soften your voice and help your attitude. * Insert a smiley face in your email or Facebook Those smiley faces ( ;-D ) are a great invention for email and social media.  Use them!  They help to soften the written word where our “listeners” cannot see our face, hear our tone of voice or see your sparkling eyes and gestures to help them evaluate the meaning behind our words.  Use any characters at your disposal to soften and detoxify your words. * Choose your words wisely Finally, choose your words wisely.  Avoid words that inflame: hate, always, never, stupid, idiot, etc. “You never take me anywhere!” “You always do this to me!” “I hate that song!” Words like "always" and "never" imply that the person does evil things on purpose or has never done anything good.  If you search your heart, you’ll probably find that just isn’t true, but if you use those words, it will always inflame the other party.  ;D Our words can be toxic whether we intend for them to be or not.  Unfortunately, the effect is the same either way. Our words can inflame, accuse, blame and convict.  However, there is a way to detoxify our communication by checking our attitude at the door, softening our voice, relaxing our face, smiling and choosing our words wisely. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as and For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit


  • lyle

    I have learned lot of things from it

  • JoJo

    Thanks, Dawn. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • Dawn

    Very good and easy to fall back into the snare. This is one of those articles where I need to tape it mouth and look at before opening it. Thank you!

  • glenn

    For the reason that the admin of this site is working, no doubt very rapidly it will be renowned, due to its feature contents.

  • JoJo

    Very good point, Carla! Once spoken, words have a life all their own. Taking words back is like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Leave a comment