Excerpts from the English/Techanese Dictionary

For those of you following the latest in the Terrible Techie Trouble Saga, I want to give you the benefit of my experience in trying to speak Techanese: the language of the computer.  Here are some Techanese terms and their English definitions: Techanese: Windows detected a hard drive problem.  Translation: We have no idea what the problem is, but YOU'D better find out quick! Techanese: Microsoft Word has encounted a problem and must shut down. Translation: We have no idea what the problem is, but you can't use Word right now! Techanese: Memory is low, please restart your computer. Translation: We know exactly what the problem is, but you'll never be able to fix it this way! Techanese: Warning!  A critical error has ocurred.  SoquelMPQ MSNBC MOUSE 123 Dosey Doe Here We Go! Translation: We know exactly what the problem is and you'll never figure it out!  Bwahaahaaahaaa!


  • Dawn

    Love your humor – so sorry you were having computer issues. I hope they are resolved now.

  • Cindy Holman

    Sounds like a virus problem. I used to have similar things happen to mine. Sometimes someone from your computer manufacturer customer service can take over control and go in and find and fix the virus – I used to need assistance like that – too hard for me.

  • JoJo

    I’ve thought about it, but there is no indication that anything is wrong other than the freezing issues. All diagnostics come up perfectly fine. The weirdest thing I ever heard of and nobody, even techies I’ve spokent to, understand it.

  • Joan

    You’re STILL having problems?? My goodness!! Maybe you should take it to someplace like Best Buy and have a diagnostic run on it.

  • JoJo

    Thanks, Dawn. I am afraid I cannot report an end to my techie troubles. I have done all I can think of and employed others to do all they can think of and I’m still having issues with freezing and slowness.

    The computer formerly known as Zippy just spews techie garble talk at me. I dunno what he’s saying.

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