Hair Talk

Does your hair talk to you?  Mine does and it all started.... One score and three years ago, my hairdresser brought forth upon my mane a new hairdo conceived in brevity and dedicated to the proposition that not all haircuts are created equal.  You see I had long hair when I got married.  It was down to the middle of my back and my new husband just loved it long.  So about a month and a half after our wedding, I went to a salon for a trim and I told the hairdresser to take the back up to just below my shoulders. As was my custom, I took off my glasses and let her do her thing.  Big mistake!  When she was finished, my hair was cut into a shag with the layers cut very close to my head.  The lowest point of the back was just ABOVE my shoulders.  I looked a little like Carol Brady but with much thinner layers, no poof on the top and no visible length in the back unless you looked at it through a magnifying glass. Needless to say, my new husband was a bit shocked and upset as was I.  My hair talked.  It told everyone I was a 13 year old boy! Several years later I decided to get my hair cut by a new outfit.  We had moved up to a new area and it was too far to travel to my old place.  Again, I told her to cut it in my usual style with layers and the back length just below my shoulders.  I took off my glasses so she could cut away and she began to work her magic.  I've learned since my first bad hair cut so I usually peak and could see the fuzzy outline of enough hair to satisfy myself that I wasn't going to be bald.  However, when she was done styling my hair, I looked in the mirror and saw my GRANDMOTHER staring back at me!  It was all in pin curls around my face and my hair talked.  It screamed "OLD!!"  I didn't mean to yell, but it just came out, "I look like my GRANDMOTHER!" After another wash and a blow dry (no pin curls please) it was a fairly decent cut I could live with.  But right then and there I decided that I wasn't going to pay for a haircut if I wasn't 100% positive I'd see someone of my generation looking back at me from across the mirror!  So I began to get my hair cut once every six months.  Ok once every year.  So now I haven't had it cut for about three years.  lol So yesterday I'm wearing a jacket that I've worn for years.  A few times I noticed something was yanking on my hair.  It always came loose so I didn't think anything of it UNTIL... I got to my car and found it had been sitting in the sun so long, it was a bit stuffy.  So I took my coat off and found it dangling from my HAIR!  Something on the back of the jacket had tangled up in my hair and wouldn't let go! I couldn't imagine what on earth it was that had gotten caught up in my hair forrest (as my son calls it).   I must have looked like a cartoon of Wile E Coyote jumping up and down trying to loose myself from it's grip, whatever it was.  I mean, it HURT!  I was able to get most of this big chunk of hair free from it's grip, but it was still holding on by a goodly amount and try as I might, I just couldn't get free. All the while my son was asking what I was doing out there!  You see he was already in the car and waiting to leave the park.  Finally, in desperation, I decided to rip the rest of the hair off my head.  The jacket fell into my hand-a wad of hair still stuck to the BUTTON I never knew was there! When I got home I took a pair of scissors and cut that nasty button right off there!   I love my hair long, but do you think it's trying to tell me something?


  • Kimery

    Haha, JoJo! I chose my current ‘hair-dresser’ years ago, after some baaaaaaaaaad experiences, also. Char was the only gal with normal looking hair — not weird shades of purple (sorry about that) or look like she’d stuck her finger in an electrical socket. She’s done me well all these years. I usually do a self-trim here and there. Last year, tho, I did a self-trim I wasn’t expecting to do. Suffice it to say, my advice is this: never use a paper cutter on your lap, while leaning over it with long hair. Ours is a heavy-duty one from our print shop days, and when I leaned over to pick something off the floor, the weight of the handle, just gravitated downward and in it, a great chunk of my hair. Of course, I had to use scissors and even the other side. My kids were very amused. “Former print shop owner, now chops hair”!

  • jojosblog

    Oh no! You know I saw that coming too as I was reading the story. lol

  • BeckyJoie

    When I was first married, my husband inhaled a mouthful of my hair in his sleep and instinctively said, “Why don’t you just cut that?” The next day, I went to the beautician and had a similar incident. I ended up with a haircut that made me look like a member of NOW (the day before I had to stand up in court to testify)!

    So, I was awkward enough about the haircut but then my new husband came home. He said, “Wow, you cut your hair. It’s really short. It looks ok but why did you do it?”

    I relayed the story of what happened the previous night. Apparently, he was sleep talking! Oye.

  • jojosblog

    Oh my! I could just see that too!

    I have a standard paper cutter. I’ll be mindful!

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