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We’re getting near the end of Grace Month. Just a few more posts to go and then I’ll have a seminar on Grace and Godly Communication with even more information on this topic and a chance for you to get involved in the discussion and share your thoughts and experiences on the topic.
Today I’d like to share with you two more excerpts from my article, 10 Quick Ways to Disagree in Grace. These two sound kind of like no brainers, but you’d be amazed at how little they are used!
7. Say “I Dunno”
When you don’t know the answer someone needs, the most intelligent thing to say is “I dunno.” The quickest way to lose credibility with someone is to speak too quickly. If someone asks you something about the Bible and you can’t remember where the scripture is, tell them you will find it for them. People appreciate honesty!
There is a social stigma today whereby people think they must know everything about everything or they risk looking stupid. So there is often an urge to fill in one’s knowledge with, shall we say, assumed truths. Made up facts or opinions disguised as facts are commonplace especially in business. Many Christians feel that they cannot effectively share their faith if they don’t have all the answers. This is part of the reason I wrote Say What You Mean: Defending the Faith. It helps answer the issues the unbeliever has about God. Not knowing all the answers keeps Christians from sharing and also gives us temptation to fill in our pregnant pauses with something that passes for knowledge.
If you feel the Lord leading you to speak out on a particular topic, by all means become educated on it! However, there is nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know something. In fact, it can be quite endearing and refreshing.
8. Let it Go
In order to avoid an argument, when they are no longer listening, stop talking! As soon as someone is giving off signals that they are not accepting your views, it’s usually best not to press the issue and begin an argument.
Now I’m not talking about not sharing your ideas or backing off a discussion just because someone disagrees with you. I’m talking about not pushing things beyond where you will do no good. You can usually tell when someone’s had enough and is no longer listening to you. No matter how sweetly you say it, they aren’t listening and so it’s rather redundant to keep talking. Along the same line is when someone is annoyed because the speaker has been pushy. Either way, the listener, isn’t. You can do more harm than good by continuing on at this time. It’s better to let it go and live to discuss another day.
This tip applies to sharing your faith as well as any other topic. Being right isn’t a synonym for being effective. If you watch a lot of police shows, it may make more sense this way, “It doesn’t matter if he’s guity; it only matters what I can prove.” In order to prove our point, we need to put it in a way that is grace-filled in order that the hearer is truly listening. Nothing says “I’m not listening anymore” quite like the face you see when someone is pushing an idea past the point of civility.
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