communication

When not all your family is Christian at Christmas

December 7, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

I am winding down my career as a weekly podcaster with just three live shows left to go! I’ll be sad to see it end in a way, because I simply adore reaching out to my listeners and teaching on a live show. It’s been a blast even though it’s taken quite a bit of my free time. (Wait…”free time”? I’ll have to look that up again. I keep forgetting what that is!)

This Thursday is a very special show. Do you have members of your family who are not Christians this Christmas? Have you tried to share your faith with them this year? Do you worry about how you’ll get along at the family Christmas gathering? Do they fear having anyone bring up their salvation each time the family gets together? I know what that’s like. I’m one of the only Christians in my family. Whether you have never shared the Gospel with that special family member and you feel lead to do so this Christmas or your family has tried to several times but you notice him cringe when he walks in the door or anything in between, this show is for you!

How do we share the faith with family members? When should we try? When should we not? I’ll be sharing these and other questions about “When not all your family is Christian at Christmas” on the next Communication Comedy Network’s Talk Talk Show.

If you have an experience to share or if you have a question, please call in!

The Talk Talk Show: “The Talk Show About Talking” is on the Communication Comedy Network Thursdays at 8am PST/11am EST.

You can listen in live via your computer just by clicking this link and following the prompts or you can call into the show via phone by dialing: (724) 444-7444 and the Call ID: 19736 followed by the # sign when prompted.

This is one of my very last podcasts ever. I’ll be going off the air as far as podcasting goes after this year. I will attempt to post the audios for those who cannot make it to the live show, however, I have had some trouble periodically with hecklers whose foul mouths have caused me to opt NOT to post the audio. While Talk Shoe does allow me the ability to mute someone, it does not provide the tools to edit your broadcast easily.

For this reason, I urge you to attend the live show. I promise to filter my callers as best I can during the live show. The feedback from last week’s show (and the ones with prior hecklers) has shown that their time was well spent despite the momentary lapse in decorum. The things I share will be tips from one of the most important studies I have ever written, “Say What You Mean: Defending the Faith”. I usually sell this information but I feel the need to give some of it away this Christmas season in order to help my listeners enjoy a Merry CHRISTmas with both their saved and unsaved family members. If something I share during this show will allow just one soul to come to know Christ Jesus, it will be well worth enduring a heckler on the air.

Remember, even if I am able to post the audio, all of the Communication Comedy Network audios will be coming down after the first of the year anyway when I transition to hosting 10-12 full seminar/workshops in 2010. So don’t count on that audio! Be there live and, if you have a special story to share that relates to my topic, please post it here so I can share it on the show or call in to the live show!

God bless you all this Christmas from the Art of Eloquence.com family to yours!

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News Tagged With: Audios, Christian, Christmas, Comedy, communication, Defending the Faith, hecklers, network, Subscribe Here!

Anemic Relationships

November 17, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Anemic Relationships?

We all know that when the body is sick, it’s trying to tell us something is wrong. It’s a series of signs God gives us so that we pay attention to what our bodies need in order that we have a chance to get well. Being tired is a sign that we should rest. It’s what our body needs to regain health. If we ignore these signs, we take the chance that our illness will worsen.

I feel our relationships are the same way. There are signs God gives us that our relationships are ill and need attention. Clues God gives us so we pay attention to what our relationships need in order that they have a chance to heal or strengthen. If we ignore these signs, we take the chance that our relationships will worsen.

These signs are all transmitted via communication. Your son feels neglected so he begins to act up. Your husband feels you don’t do the little things for him you used to do now that you are homeschooling so he begins to neglect the little things he used to do for you. Your best friend no longer calls because she feels you don’t take the time for her. These are all signs of a relationship illness.

In our microwave society, so many relationships are suffering from anemia. They aren’t nurtured because we are all too busy to pay attention to the communication (or lack thereof) which are signs that our relationships are in trouble.

Let’s take the opportunities to notice the communication being sent by our loved ones and make sure we are communicating how special they are in our lives. Send a note of thanks, an email of encouragement, call to say hello. Let’s nurture our relationships before they suffer from illness. Let’s nurture those that have become anemic. Let’s strengthen those that could grow.

A friendly reminder from the staff at Art of Eloquence! Check out all the ways Art of Eloquence can help you communicate more effectively with your family, friends, boss, employees, or customers today!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: anemic relationships, communication, illness, sickness, Subscribe Here!

Can you hear me now?

November 2, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

So the other day my dd emails me to tell me her cell phone died. Great! She’s 1800 miles away at college with a dorm phone that doesn’t call out and her brand new cell phone dies. The good news? It’s still under warranty. The bad news? I can’t get Verizon to tell me what I REALLY need to do to take advantage of it!

Communication: It’s what customer service is made of!

Yeah…so I’m on the phone to Verizon when they tell me to have my dd look up a Verizon store in her area and go there to see if they can repair it. If they can’t, they will tell her what to do. Sounds simple enough, right? Well…

She doesn’t have a car, but she finds a Verizon store she can walk to that tells her the phone cannot be repaired because it’s too old a model. They don’t have the parts. Mr. Employee tells her to have me call and order her a new phone.

Ring Ring! Verizon? Yeah, I need to order a new phone for my dd. The Verizon store says it can’t be repaired because it’s too old and they don’t have the parts.

Oh no Mrs. Tabares, we have to first verify that the phone can’t be repaired. The Verizon store apparently didn’t post anything in the computer.

Turns out it was only ‘disguised’ as a Verizon Store (It looked like a Verizon store and acted like a Verizon store…) but, in reality, it was only an Authorized Verizon Dealer. Translation: they are not authorized to repair for Verizon. Well, why didn’t they tell our dd that? Now what? She’s about to leave on a missions trip for four days without benefit of cell phone.

Will the real Verizon employee please stand up?

Verizon tells me to have her call them so they can go through a diagnostic to make sure the phone needs to be replaced and not repaired. Only problem? She is not authorized to speak to Verizon on MY account. Gee Golly Willakers, Batman! Can we do something about that? After all, she is my dd and this is not a matter of national security! She just has to tell them what’s wrong with her cell phone.

Turns out you can! So I give my authorized Okey Dokey to allow my daughter to talk to Verizon. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I tell them that she will not be able to call for several days as she will be out of town and without PHONE! Mr. Customer Service seems to understand the concept.

So…several days later I get a call from my dd (from her friend’s cell phone) telling me that she is not authorized on my account and they won’t talk to her about the phone. I have to turn my cell phone on so that Verizon can call me on my cell phone (so they’ll know it’s ME!) At that time I may authorize her on my account.

Can you say Deja Vu, boys and girls? I knew that you could.

I ask Mr. Verizon Man why I need to authorize my dd…AGAIN. He says something brilliant like, “The last time you didn’t authorize her; you only authorized her.” I’m beginning to get a headache.

Apparently there are two kinds of authorization. There’s the kind where you have to authorize her to talk to them each and every time and the kind where you authorize her for ever and ever Amen. I’ll take the forever kind behind door number 2 where Carol Maroll is standing.

But, wait! My mind is perplexed and I just HAVE to know: If I authorized her to talk to Verizon one time, when was the one time she talked to them? Wouldn’t that be like…NOW? This question seemed to throw Mr. Verizon Man into a tizzy so I just verified with him (16 times) that forever meant what I thought it did. You know, as in the next time she might have a problem?

So it’s now two weeks later and she still doesn’t have her phone. It should have been delivered to her PO box at college, but since that was the weekend, I doubt she can pick it up until today. Unless…Mr. Verizon Man made another customer service communication faux pas and the phone isn’t actually authorized to appear in her mailbox. Film at 11.

Got a customer service story to tell? Spill it.

And you might suggest the company purchase my eBook, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business. ;D

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cell phone, college, communication, customer service, daughter, phone, Verizon

10 Fun Ways to Teach Kids Communication

October 29, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Communication FUNdamentals: 10 Fun Ways To Teach Children Effective Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

Communication skills are vital -especially in the information age. Studies show that effective communicators are happier, do better in school, are more successful and make more money than their less eloquent counterparts. So how do you teach your children to express themselves better? The FUN way!

The best way to teach children anything is to make it fun and involve as many of their five senses as possible. Here are a list of 10 games/activities that will foster effective communication skills in your children.

1. Play Telephone. The more the merrier. This old elementary school game is a delightfully fun way to develop your child’s listening skills. This game is perfect for any age. Begin with a simpler message for the younger children and gradually increase the size and complexity as they get older.

2. Directions to Fun. Have your older child write out directions from your house to somewhere fun; for example, the ice cream shop. Preferably give the directions to a third party who is unfamiliar with the area, and have him follow the directions precisely. Did you get there? If so, have an ice cream cone! If not, talk about what went wrong in the communication. What could be changed that would help get you there the next time. This is a wonderful exercise to help children from 4th through 12th grade learn to give better directions. But it also is a lesson in itself about communication. In order to effectively communicate what you want, you must learn to say what you mean so that others can fully understand.

3. Dress for Success. Go to the store or any other public place dressed in your Sunday best. Notice how you are treated. Next go to the same store or a similar location dressed shabbily or inappropriately for the occasion. (Ex: to a Mercedes dealership in old jeans and a worn out T-shirt) Notice how differently you are treated. This illustrates that their nonverbal communication has consequences. You will want to point out that strange person walking on the street and do a little of what I call “brain washing”. Paint them a picture of the consequences of the communication that is sent when people wear skimpy clothes or dress like hoodlums. Tell them what their choice of clothes is saying to the average person…to a prospective employer. Give them the facts on how this will impact their lives a year…two years…ten years down the line. Tell them what could happen tomorrow if someone draws a conclusion based on those clothes that puts them in harms way.

4. Talk n Listen. Have your child sing Yankee Doodle while another person recites the Pledge of Allegiance. See how long they can go without flubbing it up. If your child can do this too easily, have each one read from a different book. Tell them to each take turns relating what the other had read. This helps illustrate that old saying that God gave us two ears and one mouth in order that we listen twice as much as we talk.

5. Um Contest. Have your child talk about a familiar topic. Any topic. For example, his/her favorite activity or book. See how long he/she can keep from uttering “um”, “er”, “uh”, “like”, or “ya’ know”. This develops the child’s confidence as well as eloquence. Eliminating these “words” in your child’s vocabulary will cause the him to focus on becoming more articulate and increasing his vocabulary.

6. Feed Me Applesauce. Blindfold someone and have that person feed applesauce to another blindfolded person. Have a third person who is not blindfolded giving the directions to both parties. This teaches students to give directions more effectively.

*NOTE* This is messy! Fun, but messy! You will want to make sure that your children are not wearing their good clothes and that this activity takes place on a bare floor and not carpet.

7. Presentation. Have your child give a presentation of sorts to a local retirement home. This can include giving a craft demonstration, playing piano for them as in a short recital, singing or reciting a poem. This teaches your child how to present him/herself. This can be done with children of all ages. The sooner you get your child comfortable talking in public, the better. It will become like second nature to them and they may be able to avoid the biggest fear that most people have: PUBLIC SPEAKING. Studies show that people who enjoy speaking in public are more successful than those who do not. So get them out there showing off the talents God gave them!

8. What’s Going on in the Picture? This one is great for the little ones. Have your child tell you what he sees in a picture. Encourage him to describe the scenery, the people, the colors…anything he sees. For older children, have them talk about what they think might have just happened before this scene and what they think will happen after. This gives them practice in formulating ideas in a logical manner that others can easily understand.

9. Finish a Story. This one is also very good for different age groups. Kids love stories! You start off a story and have your child finish it. For very young children, you can tell them a nursery rhyme and have them make up an alternate ending or add on to the story. This exercise is great for teaching beginning verbal communication skills.

10. Impromptu Speech. This exercise is wonderful for children of all ages. Pick a topic that your child is familiar with or just loves and ask him/her to speak for about 2 minutes on that topic. After a while, have your student graduate to speaking on more difficult topics and/or for longer periods of time. You can start them off by talking about their favorite movie and eventually graduate them to controversial topics like prayer in school.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, they won’t get you anywhere.” Lee Iacocca The more your children practice communication skills, the more effective they will be in communicating their needs and ideas. The more fun you can make it, the more they will want to practice these essential skills.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: 10 Fun Ways, Article, communication, Proverbs 25:11, Subscribe Here!

Classic Baby Babble Video!

October 28, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

It’s preschool week here at Communiation FUNdamentals as we get ready for our weekly podcast on the Communication Comedy Network! This week we are asking the question if it’s too early to begin teaching our preschoolers to communicate effectively.

Preschoolers have a natural curiosity and a hankering for learning. Preschoolers are the most teachable students and it can be a blessing to begin teaching them these vital skills. To illustrate just how much young children feel the need to communicate with us, I give you this video:

Tune in to tomorrow’s Talk Talk Show: The Talk Show About Talking on the Communication Comedy Network and find out how and what we should teach our preschoolers about communication skills! Each Thursday morning: 8am PST/ 11am EST!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, podcast, Preschoolers, Subscribe Here!, Talk Talk Show

Say What You Mean When You’re in Business

October 14, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

This week I’m talking about social networking mostly on Facebook. Next week I’ll be talking about Twitter. Since many people use social networking sites for business, I wanted to share with you a resource Art of Eloquence has for small business owners.

Say What You Mean When You’re in Business!

87% of what you do all day is communication related. Make the most of it by learning some simple techniques that will drastically improve communication with your customers, business associates, suppliers, employees and/or downline. Studies show that effective communicators are more successful people who are comfortable making presentations or speeches are more likely to be successful. This Christian-based and easy to use, this is a great reference for those in direct sales and perfect for those just starting out in business! This PDF eBook is the culmination of my degree in Speech Communication and over 20 years of experience in business from sole proprietorships to network marketing to Fortune 500 Companies. Now you can be the expert and do the same things that I have done so you can increase YOUR success! Here’s what you will learn:

Over 100 tips and techniques!
Creating a communication package for your business.
How to present yourself as an expert in your field.
How to effectively handle customer service, complaints and returns.
Making Contacts
Effective use of networking groups
Handling kids and business.
How/when to share your faith
How to gain support from family and friends…And much, much more
Each chapter begins with a Bible quote
Shows you not just what to do but how to do it!

Here’s what a some customers had to say:
“There is a LOT of tangible information in this book! Usually, you have books that don’t give actual “what to do’s” when telling you about a topic. This book tells you what to do! It gives plenty of examples as well. So you have a book that is great from beginning business to end. I highly recommend this book for those of you who need to regroup from burnout in business and those of you just starting out. Thank you JoJo for writing this book. I’m keeping it as reference material and will make my employees read it as they are hired.” Susie Glennan, President – The Busy Woman’s Daily Planner

“I got my e-book – “Say What You Mean When You’re In Business.” I can’t put it down. It’s wonderful. I have only gotten through about half of it, but I have already learned so much and am already implenting many of the suggestions into my business practices. It’s great!!! My husband also has a separate small business and he’s been reading it too. I print out a couple of chapters…I read it…then pass it on to him and he reads it. Thanks again JoJo. Blessings.” Brenda, Brenda’s County Gift Shoppe

To help you communicate more effectively with your customers, business associates, suppliers, downline and/or employees, visit Art of Eloquence.com!

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News Tagged With: busienss owners, Business communication, communication, downline, employees, Subscribe Here!

7 Wonders of the Christian World

October 11, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

7 Wonders of the Christian World
By JoJo Tabares

1. I wonder why: It’s scary to hear someone passionate about God, but inspiring to hear someone passionate about Football.

2. I wonder why: It’s normal to believe in God, yet crazy to believe in Satan.

3. I wonder why: It’s understandable that you talk to God, but insane if you hear Him speak to you.

4. I wonder why: A miracle is not believable, yet multiple instances of coincidence is.

5. I wonder why: It’s silly to believe in Adam and Eve, but not in atom and evolution.

6. I wonder why: It’s acceptable to talk about God, but offensive to talk about Jesus.

7. I wonder why: It’s commendable to help a drowning man, yet contemptible to try to “save” him.

For those who wonder…

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean: Defending the faith. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on how to share your faith in grace, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: 7 wonders, Christian, communication, speech communication, Subscribe Here!

Six Ways to be a Bad Conversationalist

October 8, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Six Ways to be a Bad Conversationalist
by JoJo Tabares

Everyone can talk, but not everyone is a good conversationalist. If you haven’t had much experience or training, there are some conversation mistakes that can make you someone nobody wants to talk to.

1. Mr. Prove-It:
Mr. Prove-It will make you prove the validity of everything that comes out of your mouth. Having a conversation with him is like swimming upstream. Their favorite expression is “Really?!”. They take all the fun out of a conversation! Often they can be found leaning back in their chair, stroking their chin with a look of superiority on their face. Mr. Prove-It leaves no stone unturned. This is an extreme example but Mr. Prove-It can be more subtle:

Mr. Prove-It: So when are you leaving on your trip to Hawaii?

Mr. Trapped-Rat: About 3am. We got 50% off, but it has some strings.

Mr. Prove-It: 50% off? Really?!

Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes. We were so excited …

Mr. Prove-It: That doesn’t sound right!

Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes. It’s a promotion for employees where I work. We are very excited because this is the first time we have ever been to Hawaii…

Mr. Prove-It: Why would they do that? Gas prices are skyrocketing right now?

Conversation with Mr. Prove-It is a chore. When Mr. Trapped-Rat sees Mr. Prove-It coming, he’ll be inclined to run the other direction!

2. I. M. Oblivious:
Ida Mae Oblivious is also frustrating. She never seems to pay attention to what the other person is saying. She is usually quick to point out what others should be doing, but never quite absorbs the information she hears. Listening is not her forte. She’s a talker!

Ida Mae: We are all going out party hopping after the Prom. Come along with us.

H. Earme: No thank you. I have to get home.

Ida Mae: Oh everyone is going to go! Come on!

H. Earme: No thank you. I am not really a party hopper. lol

Ida Mae: Well, then it’s time you started!

H. Earme: No, really. I’m just going to go home. I have work tomorrow.

Ida Mae: Oh, come on! One late night won’t kill ya!

H. Earme: No really. I have to work tomorrow.

Ida Mae: So, you call in sick tomorrow! Come on!

Ida Mae just doesn’t give up. When she’s not trying to talk someone into doing something they don’t want, she is busy sharing ideas with people who couldn’t care less! People like to make their own decisions. They usually don’t appreciate Ida Mae’s input and usually try to avoid conversations where they know she will have an opinion!

3. Me MyselfandI
This conversationalist is so consumed with herself that she never comments on what others have said. She’s the one in the group who is always talking about her own experiences. “Me” never asks questions of anyone else and so she knows very little about anyone. She is of no help to anyone because she never answers questions unless it is with a story about “when it happened to me…”.

Nobody OfConsequence: I am a little nervous about all these medical tests. I am praying nothing is really wrong.

Ms MyselfandI: Six years ago I had a bunch of tests. I was so nervous that I had to have my dh ….

Nobody ofConsequence: I would appreciate your prayers that everything goes ok.

Ms. MyselfandI: Oh I remember how everyone prayed for me. Do you know that I had people praying all over the world?

Ms. MyselfandI listens “with her answer running” as they say. She doesn’t really listen, but instead, lay in wait for her chance to speak. She is instead, rehearsing what she will say in silence until it is, again, her turn in the spotlight. She doesn’t relate her experiences in order to relate with others or give them comfort. She does so to be the center of attention and her motives are almost always transparent.

4. The Reporter
The Reporter doesn’t really know how to communicate well and she knows it. She tries hard to fit herself and her lack of self-esteem into a conversation, but she just can’t think of anything original to say so she uses fillers. She states the obvious and often feels uneasy with silence.

The Reporter: Oh! Look at that! Tommy is just so cute. He fell down. Oh how sweet he is. Oh look at him wobble! Awww…look at him smile. What a smile he has! So cute. Just so cute. Look at him trying to fit that sandwich into the VCR!

5. Men of Few Words
Many men are guilty of this communication faux pas. They are not interested in small talk and have little patience for questions so they give vague, one word answers that provide no real meaning to the person asking the question. Many times men don’t have the ability to multitask like women do so, when they are asked a question while driving or at work, we get the following exchange:

Wife: I’m trying to plan for the company picnic because I need to know how much of the baby’s things to take with us. When is it?

Husband: Saturday.

Wife: This Saturday?

Husband: Yes.

Wife: What time is the picnic?

Husband: 2pm.

Wife: When will it end?

Husband: I dunno.

Wife: Well, how long do you want to stay?

Husband: A few hours.

Wife: So when do we need to leave in order to get there at two? I need to know when to get the kids ready.

Husband: 1pm.

Women often need more than a one word answer in order to plan what she will need to pack for an event-especially if she has small children. A long car ride, means she needs to pack some games or books. A two hour stay vs. a 4 hour stay means more diapers and change of clothes. Men don’t think about these details and have often been known to run out of the house for a few hours with nary a diaper nor a bottle for baby!

6. The Story Teller
Story Tellers are fun to listen to because they tend to be extroverts who enjoy telling a great tale! They are entertaining, energetic and animated. However, this guy never lets anyone get a word in edgewise. It can be frustrating for their audience if they intend to do anything other than listen.

Story Teller: “Oh that reminds me of the time I went on a missions trip behind the Iron Curtain!” We were smuggling Bibles in when we almost got caught by the secret police and …(and on he goes for about 25 minutes when he finally has to take a breath…)

Audience: “Wow that sounds so exciting! How did you ever get out?” (Big mistake! You just spurred him on for another 25 minutes!)

Story Teller: “You’ll never believe it! There we were, on the street being questioned by the secret police, when all of a sudden…” (And the saga continues for another 35 minutes holding his audience spell bound and wanting to contribute to the conversation which, believe it or not, originally began on the topic of painting your house!)

Audience: “I have always wanted to travel…”

Story Teller: “Oh I have been to 6 countries either on vacation or a missions trip and it is just some of the most…” (He could go on for days like this!)

The one advantage of Story Tellers is that by the end of the night, you could have a wonderful education about Russia! Unfortunately for them, they won’t know a thing about you. This is a shame since others can teach us so much by sharing their experiences-even if they haven’t experienced almost being arrested behind the Iron Curtain! Most people enjoy talking about themselves and sharing their ideas so the Story Teller’s habit of always hogging the spotlight leaves his audience feeling left out and underappreciated.

If you ask anyone what they think a good conversationalist is, they may tell you that it is someone who speaks well or someone who tells a good story. They may think that a good conversationalist is someone who is an exciting speaker. However, if you watch people, you will notice that the people they appreciate talking to are the ones who listen to them. The best complement I have ever received was from a woman who said I was the best conversationalist she had ever spoken with. She said she thoroughly enjoyed speaking with me and it must be because I had a degree in Speech Communication. The truth was that she taught me so much that day because I spent most of the time listening to her speak. I must have spoken about four sentences in the time we were together and they were all requests for her to elaborate more on her life!

If you want to be a good conversationalist, you need to show that you truly care about others. Listen to them. Let them share their experiences and ideas. Give them the spotlight. If you are talking to an introverted or shy person, draw them out by creating an opportunity for them to shine. Ask them about things they know. Ask them about their job, hobby or children. You might end up learning something! Thank them for what they have taught you! Build them up! A great conversationalist listens most of the time and directs the conversation with his questions!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication. Her Christian and humorous approach to communication skills has made her a sought after speaker. JoJo’s articles have appeared in various homeschool magazines and websites such as Dr. Laura.com. Her Say What You Mean curricula is endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and her eBook, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business, has been used by direct sales leaders and small business owners alike. For more information, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, conversationalist, reporter, story teller, Subscribe Here!

If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?

October 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

This week on The Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network, I’m asking the question, “If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?” In my seminars I ask how many think communication skills are important for every day life. Just about everyone in the audience will raise their hand. However, when I ask my next question, I get puzzled looks: How many of you have studied communication skills or are teaching them to your children?

“The wise in heart accepts commands, but the chattering fool comes to ruin.” Proverbs 10:8

Usually about three hands go up. One says she took a speech class once, another says she’ll have her son take a speech class when he’s a senior in high school and another who says she already taught her daughter a writing class. The rest say they don’t intend to make a speech in their lifetime so they don’t need communication skills. But they just said they were important in every day life! Why the disconnect? Because though most people think communication skills are important, they ONLY think of communication as speech or writing! However, this erroneous assumption can hold them back or damage their relationships in life. Let me explain…

1. Taking one speech class doesn’t make one an expert speech maker any more than taking one golf lesson makes one Tiger Woods.

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

2. I know it sounds simplistic, but speech and writing courses teach speech and writing. They do not teach the specific skills needed in order to interview well, convince your boss you are worthy of a promotion, help dissuade your neighbor’s son from trampling your begonias, work out an issue in your marriage, discipline your 15 year old, effectively resolve a conflict with a co worker or family member, lead a group of people for a church project or share/defend your faith. Each of these require very different communication skills.

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” 1Peter 3:15

3. Though many have a fear of speaking in public (but are comfortable one on one), speaking to hundreds of people is not the same as speaking to one. I know many great speech makers who are too intimidating one on one to be effective.

4. Being comfortable speaking is not the same as being effective. I’m comfortable playing basket ball, but as someone who’s 5′ nuthin’, I’m not proficient at it!

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

5. Practice doesn’t make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect! Many people tell me that they are comfortable with social communication because they have been doing it all their lives. However, some of those comfortable communicators don’t realize that they are communicating in a way that hurts people’s feelings or intimidates others or makes others uncomfortable or doesn’t persuade others to follow where they lead. I’ve been a student of communication for over 25 years and each year I make it a point to learn even MORE!

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6

87% of what you and I do all day long is communication related. The Bible has HUNDREDS of scriptures that tell us of the importance of mastering these skills and gives us some tips for doing so as well as some consequences if we don’t! Studies show that effective communicators are better students, have deeper relationships, better marriages, more successful careers and make more money than their less articulate counterparts. In fact, studies show that effective communicators are even HAPPIER!

“-So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Issaiah 55:11

I’ll be discussing this topic in depth on Thursday’s podcast and I invite you to join me so please mark it down on your calendar to attend live! (Thursdays 8am PST /11am EST) We’ll be discussing the top reasons given for not studying communication skills including fear and boredom and the solution for each issue!

All this week I’ll be sharing some of my articles on communication skills. I invite you to come back each day and share these with your friends and family.

Communication is probably THE most important skill in life to master! Until then, I leave you with this question, “If communication skills are so important, why aren’t YOU studying them?

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, Communication Comedy Network, communication skills, conflict, podcast, Speech, Subscribe Here!, Talk Talk Show, writing

Name That Expression

September 30, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Remember Name That Tune? Well, today is Wordless Wednesday and I’m asking you to Name That Expression! This picture represents a communication expression. Can you figure out what it is?

If you can, post your guess as a comment on this blog post. I’ll be back in a few days to give you the answer! Watch this blog post for everyone’s guesses and my answer!

Tongue Tied

Name That Communication Expression!

A Communication FUNdamental from your friends at Art of Eloquence.com!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, communication fundamental, expression, Name that Expression, Name that Tune, Subscribe Here!

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