Doctors Talk, But They Don’t Often Communicate

I’ve posted about this topic before. It seems doctors and their staff are not well trained in the art of eloquence.  They tend to tell us what to do and are missing the gene that requires them to explain.  Case in point, last week my father went in for an MRI of his hip/leg which has been bothering him for several years now.  After arriving home, he was called with an urgent request to drop everything and rush back to the hospital because they found something unrelated that they were concerned about.  No time to say hello, goodbye, you’re late, you’re late, you’re late!!

He raced back down there where they did all sorts of tests and told him to stay to talk to the specialist who would tell him what needed to be done and how fast.  My father, at this point, just wanted to go home and asked if he could see the specialist the next day. He was told that was fine, but they wanted to see him “right away.”

He never did hear from the specialist so he called and was told that the earliest appointment he could get with the specialist was two weeks out.  What happened to “right away?”  Aside from the fact that the office didn’t have any of his paperwork, they seemed unconcerned.

First they scare him half to death and have him rush down, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  Next, they tell him he HAS to be seen right away.  Then suddenly, it’s not so urgent.  We wondered if it wasn’t so urgent because they looked at his tests or it wasn’t so urgent because they had no idea who he was or what he had.  Either way, it would have been nice if someone had told us (him) and eased his concerns.

Aside from the confusion of the communication from the doctor to patient was the confusion that took place each of the MANY times he talked to the doctor’s office to straighten this out.  Why is it so difficult for most doctors and doctor’s offices to relay proper information to their patients?  When you are dealing with people’s health, shouldn’t it be a priority to keep them properly informed so that a dire situation doesn’t turn deadly and a benign situation doesn’t needlessly worry a patient?

Now before I get hate mail from people who know a doctor who does take the time and whose staff does do a good job of this, let me say I understand that there are exceptions, but in my experience, many doctors and doctor’s offices are in grave need of learning communication skills.  In fact, I read an article several years back where the AMA suggested that doctors and staff learn to communicate well as a way of cutting down on malpractice suits.  It stated that many, if not most, of the lawsuits were filed not because the doctor  messed up someone’s treatment, but because they failed to explain things effectively to their patients.

In my study, Say What You Mean Every Day, there is a chapter called, “Doctor! Doctor!” where I discuss this very issue.  Visit the product page to learn more about this study and to download our free sample excerpts (link at bottom of page) with a part of that chapter!

What’s your experience with doctor/patient communication?  Please share your experiences.

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Don’t Shoot the Messenger

Don’t Shoot the Messenger
By JoJo Tabares

I see it time and time again-people frustrated with friends or family who “just don’t understand” them.  They ask why, but when they are told it’s because they weren’t clear or sounded harsh, they don’t want to hear that.  They want to hear that it’s the other person’s fault.  I’ve even had people send me a message asking, no, PLEADING with me to help them because they don’t understand why they are always misunderstood.  I tell them.  I share it in the most gracious way, but they don’t want to hear that they need to change.  They want the other person to have to change.

Remember the man who asked Jesus what he must do to be saved?  Jesus tells him to give up all he has and follow Him.  The man doesn’t want to hear that.  He walks away sadly.  I’m sure Jesus was sad too.

When we have a problem, we often tell a close friend.  We want that friend to say, “It’s okay.  The other person just isn’t listening.  They are the problem not you.”  We don’t want to admit that we could be PART of the problem or even CAUSING the problem.  We don’t want to hear that we need to change.  We don’t like change.  We just want things to change.

Well, I ‘m here to tell you the sad news.  Things will likely not change unless we do.  We have to change in order to make changes in our situation.  I wish I could tell you that there was some magic pill we could take that would change the world in such a way that we could remain the same and things all around us would change.  Our finances would be better, our health would improve…our friend would understand us.  Unfortunately, that’s not how things work.

Just like we cannot become healthy if we don’t change our eating or exercise habits, we cannot improve our relationships without making a change.  Relationships are all about communication and, if you are constantly being misunderstood, you need to face the fact that it might be, at least in part, something YOU need to change.

If you have had trouble getting your point across, if you have been told you are too harsh or too timid, if you have been misunderstood, if you have had conflicts with others, don’t wait for THEM to change!  Don’t shoot the messenger; change yourself!  If you don’t know how, Art of Eloquence can help.

 

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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#1 New Year’s Resolution Requires Effective Communication Skills!

Number ONE New Year’s Resolution: Spend More Time with Family & Friends

Recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken, and others show that “more than 50% of Americans vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year.”  What’s the one skill we all need if we are going to spend more time with our friends and relatives?  It’s the very same skill needed to improve relationships: Communication!  Why?  Because you cannot even have a relationship with someone unless you communicate with them in some way.  As I wrote about in a recent article, relationships are all about communication and the potential for misunderstanding and misinterpretation leave a relationship vulnerable.

This year, resolve to learn to become a more effective communicator!  Don’t wait until you and a loved one have a conflict that ruins your relationship.  Hurt feelings can be overcome, but sometimes it goes beyond hurt feelings and the relationship may not be easily repaired.

Relationships with friends and family are too precious to leave up to chance.  Prepare now to be an effective communicator in 2012 and give your relationships the strength that nothing else can!  Check out all the free lessons, articles and information on http://www.ArtofEloquence.com and don’t forget to sign up for our bi-monthly newsletter for your free gift, Communication Activities: Finding Time to Talk to Your Children in a Busy World! 

Much success in 2012!  Let us know how Art of Eloquence can help!

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What does it take to communicate with your computer?

I have a degree in Speech Communication and over 25 years of experience since then.  I have been able to communicate successfully with people of all ages, including those who have vastly different beliefs.  I speak English, a little Spanish, a wee bit of ASL and I’m conversational in whining and Gibberish.  What I cannot communicate with is my computer.

Computers have a language and a logic all their own!  I’ll go into this in more detail later this week, but to give you a background (in order that you might appreciate the conclusions I will draw on Wednesday), I’d like to share with you the Tragic (though comedic) Tale of Techie Trouble with the computer formerly known as Zippy.

Zippy is less than two years old.  We bought him when my previous computer, Methuselah, was given only a few days to live…or was that me after starring in a Lifetime Movie called “Some Like it NOT.”  After rehearsing Methuselah’s death scene, we set up The Zippster and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that my days of Techie Troubles were over.

Unfortunately, I got an offer I couldn’t refuse, and believe me I tried, to do the sequel, “Scream TOO” which began filiming several weeks ago while preparing for our Art of Eloquence Birthday Bash.  What went wrong you ask?

1. My old website had a nervous breakdown and my new website wasn’t programabale quite the way it was supposed to causing delays and fits of frustrated terror.

2. Firefox slowed to a snail’s pace and began hiding the words I typed until, well…it felt like showing them.  By that time, I had tried to backspace and, “I’m so happy today” came out, “Isoppy toy” until I had wanted to type, “I want to throw Zippy out the window!”

3. Blog posts I spent hours preparing disappeared….

4. Windows Movie Maker began to play hide and seek with my videos.

5. Firefox, Windows Movie Maker and Outlook would freeze and shut down unexpectedly.

6. My virus software took a mental vacation.

7. Our coupon code inexlicably didn’t work during the Birthday Bash.

8. Our coupon code inexplicably started to work correctly a few hours AFTER the Birthday Bash was over.

9. Firefox began using too much memory, or so my new virus sotfware told me.

10. I dumped Firefox and spent two or three hours setting up all my passwords and bookmarks in IE.

11. IE began using too much memory according to my new virus software.

And those are only SOME of the techie troubles I’ve had in the last several weeks.  It’s all I can remember because, very soon afterward, my brain had the blue screen of death and I got fitted for my funny white coat with the sleeves that tie in the back!

Why?  Why can’t computers behave like human beings?  Why can’t we just talk to our computer and clear up any misunderstandings we might have?  How is it that I can be doing the very same things to operate it day after day and then, without warning, everything changes?  I thought about that as I was screaming into my non techie, old fashioned pillow and I realized that some of the behavoir of computers IS simlar to human beings, but some just isn’t.

Have you ever been talking to someone for years in a particular way and then one day he lets you know in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t appreciate it?  You’re left wondering, where did THAT come from?  If he didn’t like talking about this or doing that, why not just tell me so three years ago?

The difference is that if you have a misunderstanding (human version of a techie issue), you can always communicate with him and work it out.  You can ask him what’s wrong, what he’d like you to do in the future, and you can apologize and move on.  With computers, you can’t do that.  Oh you try!  Sometimes in words and sometimes threatening an inanimate object with bodily harm!  Either way, he doesn’t answer you and you’re left with the undeniable feeling that you’re in this ALONE!

So here I sit today with these Techie Troubles daring me to make a move.  What’s the right one?  What is the consequence for making the wrong move?  I’ve changed my virus software, updated malware protection, changed browsers, run disk cleanup and defrag…I’ve done everything I can think of short of exorcism to debug my computer which is driving me buggy.   I’ll draw some more conclusions for you about some things I’ve learned while attempting effective communication with my computer…on Wednesday.

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Brand New Speech & Debate Value Package

How often have you wished that you could persuade someone to accept your idea, do something you thought was right, or go somewhere you thought was important?  Think about it. How many times have you felt passionately about something, but you lacked the insight, discipline or training to present a good argument?  While most people will never have a need to engage in a formal debate or speech, understanding these techniques can help train you to become more persuasive in daily life. We actually use persuasion skills every day. Do we need formal debate-level persuasion skills every day? No, but would our everyday need for persuasion skills be enhanced by the study of debate? Absolutely!

Being skilled in the art of giving effective presentations is likely to have a significant impact on your success both personally and professionally. Being able to present yourself (and your ideas) well and having the ability to persuade others is essential in business. It is the sign of an effective and respected leader.  It is also important on a personal level because polished communication skills will greatly assist you in making and developing good friendships!

Benefits of Learning to Speak in Public
•Increased confidence and self-esteem
•Ability to think on your feet
•Captivating your audience
•Develop the art of listening critically
•Master persuasion skills
•Better career advancement

Studies show those who enjoy making speeches actually make more money!

The Problem with Most Speech and Debate Courses
Most speech and debate courses can be intimidating or boring.  As a child, I was painfully shy.  I would rather have cut off my right arm than take a traditional speech and debate course.  If I wasn’t intimidated enough by the thought of public speaking, I certainly was by having to become an expert on things like gun control.  The only way I would have agreed to take one of these courses is the very thing that was missing from them all: The FUN Factor!  Studies show that the more fun people have while learning, the better they will understand, practice and retain the subject matter.

If you could find a course that was both creative and fun, learning becomes almost effortless. Well, now you can with the Art of Eloquence Speech & Debate Value Pack which includes Say What You Mean: A Creative Speech Course and our new Say What You Mean: Beginning Debate together for one low price!  To read more about this full year curricula with our BONUS and to download our free lesson from each study, click here!

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Test Your Communication Skill Level

I hope you enjoyed Communication Effectiveness Month.  We talked about how communication skills affect just about every aspect of our lives from our parenting to our marriages and from our friendships to our careers.  If you’d like to assess your communication skills, here is a communication quiz I designed years ago.  I’ve copied part of it here, but you’ll see a link to the rest of it at the bottom of this post.

Communication Assessment Quiz

Check your CEQ: Communication Effectiveness Quotient.

1. How often do you feel intimidated by someone?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

2. How often does intimidation prevent you from speaking up?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

3. Do you shy away from conflict?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

4. How often do you find it difficult to get your point across?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

5. Do you find yourself angry with little idea of how to express yourself?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

6. Are you ineffective in diffusing another’s anger?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

7. Do you feel you are ineffective in getting what you want?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

To finish the quiz, click here!

If you’ve identified an area that you’d like some help with, visit our website for a listing of various communication topics and age groups!

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Word Wednesday Contest

June is Effective Communication Month so, to celebrate, Art of Eloquence is hosting a contest here on the blog where you could win free Art of Eloquence studies of YOUR CHOICE!  Here’s how it works:

CONTEST RULES/HOW TO ENTER:

1. Submit a family-friendly, funny or sweet story of miscommunication.  The story could have happened to you in “real life,” you could have heard about it happening to someone else  OR you could write one out of your own imagination. It can be funny like a Foot in Mouth Man episode or a sweet and inspirational story.  Preferably just a few sentences or a paragraph, but there is no limit to the length if it’s a good story.

2. Post them here as a comment on this blog post making sure to leave a valid email address and name so we can contact the winners at the end of the contest.

3. Enter as often as you like, but each entry (a different miscommunication story) must be posted in a separate comment!

4. At the end of the month, I’ll post a few of the best stories of miscommunication and ask my readers to vote for their favorite in each of the two categories: Fun and Sweet.

5. It is understood that submissions may be used in future Art of Eloquence marketing.

 

WHAT YOU CAN WIN:

1. Winners will receive a free Art of Eloquence product of their own choosing!

2. The more entries we have, the more winners we will choose so please pass along the link to this blog post and ask others to enter!

NOTE:  Contest is now closed. No more entries will be accepted.  We will be asking our readers to vote on the winners in the next few days!

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Shhhh…It’s a surprise Party!

epic fail photos - Surprise Party FAIL
see more funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!

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Surprise Birthday Party Fail.

As Mr. Magorium once said, “Apparently you misunderstand the rules of a surprise.”

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NEW at Art of Eloquence: UPDATED Sample Lessons

We’ve updated all our sample lessons!

Over the last year, I have been working almost exclusively on new communication studies, especially the ones that you have told us you needed.  Over the year, we have released:

Say What You Mean Debating the Issues

 

Say What You Mean Overcoming Social Anxiety

 

Say What You Mean Beginning Debate

 

Say What You Mean Avoiding, Reducing and Resolving Conflicts

 

This past year has left me precious little time to do some much needed revising of our website…and you all know how UNtechie I am.  Well, in the past few weeks, I’ve been working on several aspects of our website and today I’m ready to announce our first series of changes: UPDATED Sample Lessons!

After much techie frustration, I have finally been able to update and upload revised versions of the seven sample lessons that we have had, mostly for our homeschool curricula, and HEEEEEEAR they are!

 

Say What You Mean for Preschoolers

Say What You Mean for Kids

Say What You Mean for Teens

Know Your Audience

Say What You Mean: A Creative Speech Course

 

 

Say What You Mean: Defending the Faith

 

Say What You Mean When You’re in Business

 

Each sample lesson link is located toward the bottom of the page so feel free to browse!  I am currently working to create sample lessons for some of our newer studies which do not yet have them.  I should be finished with them all by Wednesday, so come on back to the blog and check them out!

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JoJoisms & Free Gift

Have you subscribed to Communication FUNdamentals’ RSS Feed?  Don’t miss a post!

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It’s Communication FUNdamentals Week and I hope you’ve been enjoying many giggles over the last few days.  Laughter is essential and not only to the learning process as we were discussion earlier, but to our health.  They say laughter is the best medicine.  You should have several doses per day!

I love making people laugh.  I do it with my kids. In fact, my son has gotten so used to it that he often says, “Mommy, say something funny!”  No pressure or anything! ROFL

Well, in case you haven’t been reading my blog, my articles, my Facebook fan page, my newsletter or my studies, (shudder, the thought!) you know that I started a thing called JoJoisms.  JoJoisms are where I reveal life’s truths…as I think of ’em.  They are one liners with insightful commentaries on life.  Here are a few I wrote about communication:

JoJoism#18 “Persuasion is when you want someone to listen to you; annoyance is when they want you to listen to them!”

JoJoism#28 “I’ve noticed that the English language does, indeed, have gender words like they do in Spanish. For example, when a man gets grey hair, they call him DISTINGUISHED. The feminine form of that word is…OLD.”

JoJoism#29 “I’ve also noticed that if your dh is distinguished, chances are very good…”

JoJoism#49a “A reason is what I have for not doing something for you.  An excuse is what you have for not doing something for me.“

JoJoism#82 “The opposite of stop isn’t go, it’s pots.”

I’ll stop now before…JoJoism#107: “My mouth punneth over.” JoJoisms: Revealing Life’s Truths…as I think of ‘em!

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If you enjoyed these, I have a free gift for you!  I created and illustrated my first Book of JoJoisms on communication.  Click here to download a free copy!

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*SUBSCRIBE HERE*: For Even More Communication Fun, FREE Gifts and Exclusive Offers!

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