love

How to Communicate Love Part4: How do you know?

February 25, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Pulling this month’s blog series all together, here’s what we learned from this blog series so far:

Words don’t always communicate love, but specific details communicate love more effectively.

Actions communicate love.

Thoughtful, personalized, and even inexpensive gifts can communicate more love.

How do you determine what your spouse considers showing love? Listen!

1. Listen to the comments your spouse makes when he/she receives a gift. Listen to what they don’t say. Read between the lines.

2. ASK! Trust me when I say that it doesn’t ruin the mystery if you go right up to her and ask what kinds of ways she likes to feel your love. It doesn’t destroy the space/time continuum if you ask your husband how he feels love from you. Ask and ye shall receive…the knowledge you need!

3. Pay attention. Pay attention to the little things your spouse does. Garner clues from the comments they make either about others or themselves. Did she just say she thought it was adorable how the husband in that movie did something for his wife? Did he just make a comment that gave you a clue about what he needs? Pay attention.

There are as many ways to communicate love as there are lovers. In order to find what works for your spouse, you need to listen, ask and pay attention. Use words, actions and gifts and strategically tailor them to your spouse.

Happy Valentine’s Day…all year long!

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Don’t forget to check out our Valentine Special where you can get two e-books that will help you and your spouse build a happier and stronger relationship! Plus our free bonus gift, 28 Days of Love: 28 scriptures, sayings and beautiful illustrations that will help you become better able to express your love for your spouse. It can be Valentine’s Day all year long!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: actions, gifts, language, listen, love, love language, valentine's day, words

How to Communicate Love Part3: Gifts

February 18, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Okay so we talked about words and actions that show love, but there is another way to communicate love and that’s with gifts. Does your gift need to be an expensive trinket or token? Not at all. In fact, the most precious gifts don’t cost much at all! What they do cost is thought, time and preparation.

I have an incredible niece. She’s a treasure. She recently had her 16th birthday and I wanted to give her something special. Instead of a nice article of clothing or an expensive piece of jewelry, I created a photo album for her to keep her memories in. I purchased a special photo album in her favorite colors and filled the first few pages with things that she loved as a child. I included a letter I wrote to her about how I watched her grow and what a lovely young lady she had become. I added pictures of her and her brother and some trinkets of things she treasured. And I told her to fill the remaining pages with treasures from her life as she begins adulthood.

The idea behind a special and treasured gift is to make it personal and infuse it with meaning. Personalize your gift. Let it be a reflection of what you know about them, what they need, their hopes and dreams.

It’s the thought that counts isn’t an expression we should remember because it excuses us from giving an appropriate gift or spending a lot of money. It’s one that should remind us of the way our gift should make the recipient feel: special!

Check back next week for my wrap up article and how you can find your spouse’s love language!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: birthday, communciation, Dreams, gifts, hopes, love, personalize

How to Communicate Love Part2: Actions

February 11, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Last week we looked at communicating love with the words we use, but there are so many other ways to communicate love! We often don’t even have to say a word to show someone that we love them. Here are just a few ways:

1. Hugs

A hug is a love language most people understand. Sometimes no words are necessary. The hug has healing powers. It transforms empty words into a feeling like nothing else can.

And how long should a hug last? A quick hug is what guys do for each other. They don’t want to linger too long over a hug with another man. But a hug between spouses should last longer than it takes to regain your manhood.

Hugging and cuddling should be a regular part of your communication with your spouse. Have you hugged your spouse today?

2. What we do

Nothing says I love you like gas! No really. My dh always fills my car up with gas. We’ve been married 26 yrs and I can count on my fingers the number of times I have filled up my tank. He does this so I don’t have to go out and so I always have enough gas to get me where I need to go.

I’m sure he doesn’t enjoy getting me gas. After all, he has to do it for his own car as well. But the fact that he takes the time to do things he doesn’t really want to do so that I don’t have to do it, just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. What about you? What does your spouse do for you that makes you feel his/her love?

3. Offer to help

Another way we can communicate love to our spouse or others is to offer to help with something. Ever have a need that someone offered to help with by supplying you with the money to do whatever it was you needed to do? I’m sure that was appreciated, but don’t you appreciate it more if the person took the time to come help?

Ideas:

Offering to bring over a meal when someone is sick.

Doing the dishes for the wife when she is tired.

Offering to take the kids for a few hours so someone can rest.

Helping an elderly neighbor clean her house or offering to do it yourself.

Actions speak louder than words and they often convey more than just, “I love you.” Be someone’s superhero! But there are other ways to communicate love. Check back next week for part 3.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: actions, communciate, gas, help, hugs, love, spouse, words

How to Communicate Love Series Part1: Words

February 4, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Saying the words is only one way that you can tell your spouse you love them, but how many times have we heard people say things when they don’t really mean them? They say talk is cheap and it is. We allow words of hate to slip out of our mouths all to often and things are far easier said than done. How many of us gals ever dated a guy who said they loved us, but what he really meant was he WANTED to?

Unless the other party really feels your love for them, these words are almost meaningless. Ever have a fight with your brother after which your mother made you say you were sorry? You said the words to each other because mom said so, but you and your brother knew full well neither one of you meant it. How many of us, in our rush to get stuff done, have kissed our spouse and said, “love you” as you shuffle your papers to find your car keys? Forget our love language, sometimes we simply don’t act as if we mean the words we say.

If you’ve ever done this, and I suspect we all have, it can become a habit and then the words, “I love you,” become synonymous with “nice knowing you.” These words, spoken so frequently and with varying degrees of depth, become meaningless. After all, a stranger on the street could say the words and be telling the truth because he loves all people, but what does that really mean?

So how else can we communicate that we love them? Tell them they are special to you. Tell them WHY they are special to you. Compliment them and be specific about what you love about their personality, their smile, their talents. And it’s not just about how your wife looks, fellas!

The devil is in the details and so is the feeling of love. A stranger on the street may be able to tell your wife the truth when he says, “I love you,” but he can’t tell her what he loves about her because he doesn’t know her. What do you love about your husband? What does he do, not do, or say that warms your heart and makes your day?

Specific words will show your spouse the love he/she needs to feel. How else can we communicate love? Check back next week for part 2 of this month’s blog series!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communicate, I love you, love, words

Isn’t it time to repair your relationship and resolve that conflict?

January 7, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

It’s a new year and, like all new beginnings, it comes with an opportunity. Each year, and each day for that matter, gives us an opportunity to renew old friendships, repair past hurts, and rekindle the love we once felt for our spouse.

Is there a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time? Was it just because you hadn’t taken the time or is it due to a falling out? The longer we are out of touch with someone, the more difficult it seems to take that first step toward renewal or repair of a distant or damaged relationship.

Many people I talk to say they’d be willing to repair a relationship if only the other person would make first contact. The problem is that is usually what the other person is thinking. You are waiting for him and he is waiting for you.

Why not take the first step? I’ll bet you’d be surprised at how much less difficult it is than you thought it would be. Sometimes all it takes is hello to rekindle old friendships or even to smooth over a small misunderstanding. I challenge you this year to try. Your relationships are well worth the effort!

If you are looking to repair a relationship that has been damaged by a deep conflict, Art of Eloquence can help. Check out Say What You Mean: Avoiding, Reducing and Resolving Conflicts. Browse our free lesson at the bottom of the page. If you purchase this study, you’ll learn how to bridge the gap and repair old hurts no matter how long they have festered.

Or sign up for this month’s webinar: Resolving Conflicts, and get this study as a bonus gift!

Consider what you once had with that person and ask yourself if it’s worth a few dollars and a little of your time to have that again.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: conflicts, friendships, hurts, love, New Year, relationships

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 2

November 28, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

So far this Thanksgiving month, we’ve talked about why it’s often difficult to Praise God in the Storm, what God Says about Being Thankful, What Being Thankful Doesn’t Mean, some things that will help us to remember in trying to be thankful. I’ve given you some practical advice with tips on exactly HOW to praise God in the storm. On Monday, I shared what happens to our communication when we are thankful and today I have a few more consequences of being thankful.

1. Others find us more approachable

The old saying, “laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone” is quite true. Unless you’re so delirious with joy that you seem a Stepford Wife, the more joyous and thankful you are, the more approachable you seem to others.

Nobody wants to approach a Gloomy Gus and ask him for directions. If you are filled with the joy of the Lord, you are apt to radiate that to others who will find you a blessing in their lives because they feel they can ask you for help.

2. Others aren’t intimidated by us or afraid of us or uncomfortable with us

When we aren’t grumpy or frustrated, we open ourselves not only for others to ask us for help so that we may be a blessing to them, but we allow others to feel comfortable enough with us to spend time talking to us. How can we hope to share the Gospel or our ideas if we make others so uncomfortable that they don’t want to be around us?

3. We show and communicate God’s love

Another advantage of being joyous is that we have an opportunity to share and demonstrate God’s love. It’s difficult to communicate God’s love for His children if we are grumpy, frustrated and angry. Being filled with joy and thankfulness allows us to share that joy and thankfulness with others, even if we don’t utter a word.

Well, that concludes this month’s series of articles on being thankful and praising God in the storm although I will be back on Friday with some reflections on thankfulness.

I pray this series was a blessing to you especially if you are experiencing struggles in your life at present. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this topic, especially if this series of articles has helped you or someone you know to be able to cope better during a struggle. I’d love to hear what made a difference for you.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, God, intimidated, love, praise, storm, thankful

Day 22 of the Countdown to CHRISTmas-CHRISTmas Shoes

December 22, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Today’s video is one that I can never get through without crying. The precious gift of a child for his mom who may meet Jesus tonight. It’s called The CHRISTmas Shoes and sung by Newsong.

The video is like a mini movie and just as precious as it could be to show the love of a child for his mother on CHRISTmas Eve.

This is the Love of Christ right in the heart of that little boy and how he shows the man in line behind him a glimpse into the kind of love that Jesus has for us.

Tomorrow is another great video. Until then…

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Filed Under: Video Countdown to CHRISTmas Tagged With: Christmas, christmas shoes, gift, Jesus, love, newsong, shoes, Video

Are You a Mommy, Mom or Mother?

June 8, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Monday Q of the Wk. Here’s how it works:
Each Monday I ask a thought provoking question about life. Pose the same question to your blog readers on your own blog along with your answer to the question. Then come back here and post a comment with a link to your blog post so we can all read everyone’s answers! It’s been a lot of fun getting to know my readers and their readers and so on and so on…

This week’s question:

Are you a Mommy, a Mom or a Mother?

JoJo’s Answer:

Have you noticed that your title changes as your children get older and depending upon whether they are trying to feel ever so grown up? When my kids were little, I was Mommy. When they got a little older, I became Mom. For a short time my daughter referred to me as “Mother!” And then there was the time when my daughter was about 3 and she learned to spell that I was… “M. O. M.!”

My daughter is 19 now and my son will be 10 in a few days soI think I’ve graduated to…Mom! However, my daughter has a Facebook account and recently tagged me in a note where she was asked several questions about the first person who came up under each letter of the alphabet. When my name popped up, one of the questions was, if I was a friend. She said I was more than a friend because I was her mother! I like that. There’s more respect for your Mother than for just a friend, but Mom seems to denote more of a close relationship than does “Mother.” Both my kids call me “Mom.” So I guess I’m sort of a Mom-Mother. How about you?

Are you a Mommy, a Mom or a Mother?
Please post your answers here as a blog comment. Then post this question on YOUR blog and come back here to link your blog post so all of us can read about YOUR readers!

So…how ’bout it? Are you a Mommy, a Mom or a Mother?

Learning Communication skills can also be fun with Art of Eloquence.com!

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Filed Under: Ask JoJo Tagged With: Ask JoJo, faith, hope, love

How to Communicate Love Part4: How do you know?

How to Communicate Love Part3: Gifts

How to Communicate Love Part2: Actions

How to Communicate Love Series Part1: Words

Isn’t it time to repair your relationship and resolve that conflict?

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 2

Day 22 of the Countdown to CHRISTmas-CHRISTmas Shoes

Are You a Mommy, Mom or Mother?

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