communication skills

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

October 6, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, have deeper relationships, longer marriages, are more successful, make more money and are generally happier than their less articulate counterparts. The Lord felt communication skills so important for our lives that He mentions communication skills literally HUNDREDS of times in His Word.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

Most people think communication is an elective, a speech class, a skill only lawyers and politicians need, something you learn by osmosis just by talking. If I were to tell you that math was an elective, you’d think I was nutz. Math is a core subject that everyone needs, right? Yes, but how many times did the Lord mention math in the Bible? He saw fit to mention communication skills hundreds of times!

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech? According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

So when we are having a conversation, we are really making a series of mini speeches in response to another’s mini speeches. When we are disciplining our children, we are making a mini speech. And when we are trying to convince our neighbor to be more careful of our begonias, are we not making a speech?

Talking doesn’t make you an excellent communicator any more than painting makes you Thomas Kinkaid! They say practice makes perfect, but while at my son’s golf class yesterday, the instructor reminded me that it isn’t practice that makes perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect!

How good is Tiger Woods? He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

If you aren’t getting proper instruction, you aren’t learning excellence! Nobody questions that Tiger Woods needs a coach though he is considered the best golfer in the world right now! So why is that we hear folks say, “Oh I took a speech course once back in high school”? Do you think Tiger took one golf lesson back in high school?

If your education, your relationships, your career, your family, your children’s future, your financial security and your happiness all depend upon the effectiveness of your communication, why aren’t you studying it? Why aren’t you teaching your children? Isn’t it time to start?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: business, children, communication skills, education, employees, friends, happiness, job, marriage, relatives, Subscribe Here!, top ten reasons

If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?

October 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

This week on The Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network, I’m asking the question, “If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?” In my seminars I ask how many think communication skills are important for every day life. Just about everyone in the audience will raise their hand. However, when I ask my next question, I get puzzled looks: How many of you have studied communication skills or are teaching them to your children?

“The wise in heart accepts commands, but the chattering fool comes to ruin.” Proverbs 10:8

Usually about three hands go up. One says she took a speech class once, another says she’ll have her son take a speech class when he’s a senior in high school and another who says she already taught her daughter a writing class. The rest say they don’t intend to make a speech in their lifetime so they don’t need communication skills. But they just said they were important in every day life! Why the disconnect? Because though most people think communication skills are important, they ONLY think of communication as speech or writing! However, this erroneous assumption can hold them back or damage their relationships in life. Let me explain…

1. Taking one speech class doesn’t make one an expert speech maker any more than taking one golf lesson makes one Tiger Woods.

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

2. I know it sounds simplistic, but speech and writing courses teach speech and writing. They do not teach the specific skills needed in order to interview well, convince your boss you are worthy of a promotion, help dissuade your neighbor’s son from trampling your begonias, work out an issue in your marriage, discipline your 15 year old, effectively resolve a conflict with a co worker or family member, lead a group of people for a church project or share/defend your faith. Each of these require very different communication skills.

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” 1Peter 3:15

3. Though many have a fear of speaking in public (but are comfortable one on one), speaking to hundreds of people is not the same as speaking to one. I know many great speech makers who are too intimidating one on one to be effective.

4. Being comfortable speaking is not the same as being effective. I’m comfortable playing basket ball, but as someone who’s 5′ nuthin’, I’m not proficient at it!

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

5. Practice doesn’t make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect! Many people tell me that they are comfortable with social communication because they have been doing it all their lives. However, some of those comfortable communicators don’t realize that they are communicating in a way that hurts people’s feelings or intimidates others or makes others uncomfortable or doesn’t persuade others to follow where they lead. I’ve been a student of communication for over 25 years and each year I make it a point to learn even MORE!

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6

87% of what you and I do all day long is communication related. The Bible has HUNDREDS of scriptures that tell us of the importance of mastering these skills and gives us some tips for doing so as well as some consequences if we don’t! Studies show that effective communicators are better students, have deeper relationships, better marriages, more successful careers and make more money than their less articulate counterparts. In fact, studies show that effective communicators are even HAPPIER!

“-So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Issaiah 55:11

I’ll be discussing this topic in depth on Thursday’s podcast and I invite you to join me so please mark it down on your calendar to attend live! (Thursdays 8am PST /11am EST) We’ll be discussing the top reasons given for not studying communication skills including fear and boredom and the solution for each issue!

All this week I’ll be sharing some of my articles on communication skills. I invite you to come back each day and share these with your friends and family.

Communication is probably THE most important skill in life to master! Until then, I leave you with this question, “If communication skills are so important, why aren’t YOU studying them?

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, Communication Comedy Network, communication skills, conflict, podcast, Speech, Subscribe Here!, Talk Talk Show, writing

Can you spot the errors?

September 21, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

This week’s question of the week is a little communication quiz! Can you spot the errors? Grab your kids and see if they can too. You can either post your answers here as a comment on this blog post OR you can post this same story on YOUR blog, answer it there and post a comment here with a link to your blog post. Here you go:

Cindy was rite about the cheese grader being on sail at Walmart. After all, she does oversea the entire Penny Pinching Club for the grater New York area. For all intensive purposes, Cindy was the reining queen of savings!

Her friend, Mary, was in dyer need of a of an inexpensive vaccum cleaner so she steaked out Cindy’s house and weighted for her to get home from her seminar, Stretch Your Money Saving Mussels.

When Cindy finally got home, it was midnight and Mary had been so tried, she had fallen asleep in her car. Though she was very tiered after her long day, Cindy invited Mary invited her to stay the night as it was too late for her to drive back to her county house in the woods. The too ladies spent a few ours talking about everything from appliances to the price of egg yokes until the they were so sleepy they practically stood their like statutes.

In the morning, Mary was so thankful for all the advise Cindy gave her on savings that she pinched in and made breakfast for Cindy’s children before school.

I’ll be back in a few days to post the errors as a comment on this blogpost. For more fun learning communication skills, check out Art of Eloquence.com!

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Filed Under: Ask JoJo Tagged With: Ask JoJo, can you spot the errors, communication fun, communication quiz, communication skills, Subscribe Here!

How many math scriptures do you know?

September 12, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

There are literally hundreds and hundreds of scriptures where the Lord shares why communication skills are so important, how we should speak to one another and what we shouldn’t do when we communicate.

Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, in their careers and their relationships. Statistics say that 87% of what you and I do all day is communication related! Lack of effective communication is the number one reason listed for marriage to fail. Yet speech communication is thought of as an elective.

I can’t think of one scripture in the Bible that speaks of the importance of math. Can you? Yet most Christians work hard to make sure their kids master math from 1st through 12th grade while spending little, if any, time teaching them to communicate effectively.

Think about it.

A friendly reminder from JoJo at Art of Eloquence.com

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Bible, communication skills, math, scritpures, speech communication

Vintage Cosby: Brain Damage

August 21, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Do you recognize these early communication skills in your children?

“I don’t know!”

If your kids could use some communication instruction, come on down to Art of Eloquence where we teach with humor and creative play!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Bill Cosby, Brain Damage, communication skills, I don't know, Subscribe Here!, Video

Grace not Race

June 17, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

My dear friend and cohost on Grace Talk Soup, Carla Ives, was my sounding board yesterday morning as I received some disturbing news after my weekly newsletter went out where I shared part of the article I wrote for yesterday’s blog post here on Communication FUNdamentals. Sharing your troubles with a friend is one of those gifts God gives His children to help them through difficult times. Not only did she reassure me, but yesterday evening I found this precious article in my inbox with a note asking if I would post it today as a Guest Blogger! Well, needless to say I was greatly honored. Here are her thoughts. I’ll let her explain what happened.

MY PARTNER IS A RACIST
By Carla Ives, A Word Aptly Written (http://www.awordaptlywritten.com)

Now that I’ve got your attention, let me say that the above statement is NOT true, but we’ll get to that in a moment. So then why did I use this headline?

My partner and Grace Talk Soup Co-Host, JoJo Tabares, sent out her weekly Art of Eloquence newsletter this morning. . . and got reported for violating a subscriber’s “racial discrimination filter.” Go read the article that got her in trouble on her blog: http://artofeloquence.com/blog/grace . Now you tell me if it’s about race. It’s about G-R-A-C-E, folks, not R-A-C-E. So what happened?

Apparently, it’s due to some word or phrase in the email that caused the subscriber’s ISP to delete and return the newsletter in violation of a “racial discrimination filter.” She found this out by calling the newsletter provider. Their representative read the article and he couldn’t figure it out either. The only thing they could figure is it was the term “two way street” in her opening sentence: “A few situations arose this past week that may give you cause to wonder if grace is a two way street for Christian conservatives. “ Have you ever heard the term “two way street” used in a racially derogatory way? I haven’t. The only derogatory connotation I have ever heard with this verbiage is in describing someone who is bisexual as a “two way street.” Since gender identity has been added to race in the discrimination laws, we’re figuring that maybe it’s all lumped together in the “racial discrimination filter.” It could also be due to the words “white trash” or “hillbilly” in the quote from Megan Fox. We’re not sure. Read the article again. If you figure out how this excellent article is racially discriminatory, please let me know.

Now let’s go back to JoJo Tabares. I have had the privilege of calling this Godly woman my friend for many years. For those of you who know her, you know that she doesn’t have a racist bone in her tiny little body. JoJo loves all God’s children. She doesn’t hate and she doesn’t discriminate. She does what she does because she is passionate about teaching us how to communicate with each other the way God would do it, so that NO ONE is discriminated against or unnecessarily hurt, always in love and with grace. She wrote about God’s grace. . . and got flagged for being a racist. Go figure.

At the request of her newsletter provider, she had this subscriber deleted so it shouldn’t happen again unless he resubscribes. There may be a possibility that this person is subscribing so that he can send spam like this out, hoping she will contact him. She was advised not to reply or contact him in any fashion. Too many of these so-called violations and they can suspend your account. Please keep in mind this is a double opt-in mailing list. She usually gets reported as spam since these people, many who figured out how to subscribe only for the freebies she provides to her subscribers, conveniently forget how to unsubscribe. It’s easier to just report her as spam. This time, though, it’s hit a new low. Very, very low.

Since JoJo is obviously not a racist (and I should point out that I don’t fit that label either), why am I bringing this to your attention? Because it’s only going to get worse. The hate crimes legislation that will make a lot of Christian speech into a prosecutable crime is up for a vote in the Senate this week. All indications say it will pass. Get set for a trial of the decade, century or what have you when they drag the first preacher down off the altar for preaching what the Bible says about homosexuality and other things. If you believe things are okay that God calls an abomination, fine. You’re entitled. Whether you feel your rights come from the Constitution of the United States or an Almighty God, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. But why am I NOT entitled to mine? If many can say it’s right, why can’t we say it’s wrong? When did a difference of opinion become illegal? Apparently, when a lot of us weren’t looking. Why weren’t we looking? Because we’ve become too comfortable in our churches, eating our pot luck dinners and singing the latest praise choruses while our rights are being snatched away. We believe it simply can’t happen here. Think again, folks. It’s happening right under your noses! That’s why JoJo does what she does. She teaches Christians to speak up in love about our beliefs, about God’s grace and, more importantly, how NOT to hurt people and discriminate against them with our words.

Because of a few who shoot their mouths off in the wrong direction, Christians are considered a laughing stock, a bunch of homophobic, intolerant, right-wing whackos. We are against almost everything America stands for today. When did it change? I don’t know exactly, but I do know that we were snoozing during the sermon while they were NOT. Keep on snoring, America. Then tell me it can’t happen here. Guess what? It already has.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carla Ives is one of the Purveyors of Fine Words at http://awordaptlywritten.com , a professional writing and editing service that lets YOU shine through! Carla’s specialty is editing, but she also writes press releases, articles, blog posts, ad copy and now resumes, a new service of A Word Aptly Written. You can read her daily thoughts and ramblings at http://lifeloveandlunacy.blogspot.com and catch her each Thursday morning, along with JoJo Tabares, on the wildly popular Grace Talk Soup podcast at http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736. Carla can be contacted at awordaptlywritten@comcast.net for all your writing and editing needs.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Carla Ives, communication skills, grace, Newsletter, Racial Discriminiation

Is grace a two way street?

June 16, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

A few situations arose this past week that may give you cause to wonder if grace is a two way street for Christian conservatives. Though I believe most people are respectful, even to those with whom they disagree, I do see that there are some who not only speak disrespectfully of us but who feel justified in doing so. But if you think the secular world in general endorses this behavior, you would be wrong. And what’s more, I believe, there is something we Christians can do that will help us win back favor with the secular world and it’s called grace.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

The first story I mention only because so many are talking about it. However, I must preface this by stating that I cannot verify the person’s statement nor the intent with any credibility. I had thought I remembered the story being aired on Fox News by either Sean Hannity or Bill O’Reilly, but in the last few days, my research has come up with only a few blogs and a small article on One News Now that did not have a link to the orignal MSN piece.

Megan Fox, star of Transformers, was reported to have been recently quoted by MSN in a piece entitled “The Wit and Wisdom of Megan Fox” in which she allegedly said she would barter with Megatron (a character from the movie), suggesting that he “just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”

If this was, indeed her statement, it certainly paints a picture of someone who is mean-spirited and it begs the question if folks would feel the same way (or if MSN would feel the same way about airing this piece) if the actress had taken a pot shot against homosexuals. However, I don’t see main stream America lining up to defend this sentiment. In fact, what I did see were people questioning the validity of anything else to come out of her mouth. What I read, for the most part, were people (though not always in the most gracious way) who were unwilling to spend money to see her new movie. Remember that the right to freedom of speech does not negate the right of the listener to take offense and act accordingly. Remember the Dixie Chicks?

How about the recent comments made by comedian and late night host, David Letterman, about Sarah Palin and her daughter? This story was all over the internet in places like Associated Press, Fox News, The LA Times and US News and World Report. Again, hardly anyone is condoning the statements and even Mr. Letterman, himself, has apologized though many may argue it’s not sincere.

But here’s my point. God gave each of us free will and there are times when folks will choose to be evil with their mouths. Sometimes they don’t mean it the way it sounded and sometimes they mean it exactly the way it sounded. Either way, instead of getting angry and lashing out, let’s address the issues fairly and in grace. Let’s call it wrong but let’s do so with respect and in love. Why?

Do you all remember the movie, Fireproof? What was Caleb asked to do when he took the Love Dare? Was he asked to treat his wife with love only when she showed love to him? No! God doesn’t love us only when we are lovable. Thank God! LOL God’s love is Agape Love, unconditional love. The love we are asked to show to our fellow man and, yes, even when he sins against us. What happened to Caleb’s wife after she was treated with love? Yup! She began to see the merits of her husband and feel a deep love for him again.

I submit to you that, if the Christian community would rise up and speak the truth in grace and in love, we would accomplish great things in the Lord! Think of each of these issues as an opportunity to discuss, instead of grievances to be made right or arguments to win. If grace is a two way street, which way came first? Mr. Letterman is no spring chicken, but may I point out that the Bible is several thousand years old. Let’s share our thoughts in grace and with respect, even if the other doesn’t, and see where it gets us! Go on! I double dog love dare ya! 😀

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com and hosting her weekly podcast, Grace Talk Soup. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Christian grace, communication skills, David Letterman, Fox News, grace, Megan Fox, Sarah Palin

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

May 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech? According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

How good is Tiger Woods? He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: boss, children, co workers, communication skills, education, employees, Family, happiness, marriage, relatives, Subscribe Here!

Fri Funny: Another JoJo Saying…

April 17, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

I have another JoJo-ism for you! I recently found an article I wrote a while back (10 Quick Rules for Disagreeing in Grace), that I discovered had some of my more inspired sayings. I’ll be sharing more of these on Twitter and Facebook, but here is one that I thought was appropriate for Friday Funnies:

“Tis better to agree to disagree and live to discuss another day than to fight for your right to be a pest!” -JoJo Tabares

Learning Communication skills can also be fun with Art of Eloquence.com!

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Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?

Can you spot the errors?

How many math scriptures do you know?

Vintage Cosby: Brain Damage

Is grace a two way street?

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

Fri Funny: Another JoJo Saying…

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