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It’s Praise Week here at Communication FUNdamentals!

The Bible talks about praising God, and we should, for all the blessings He has given us, but it also talks about supporting and being a blessing to others.  Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Edifying means to build up.  God wants us to build others up, to lift them up when they are down, to support them.  This scripture also tells us we should do this in order to minister grace to them.  Grace means showing mercy, kindness and service toward others.   Here’s why this is so important.

I always knew how important it was to praise others, but recently my daughter brought to my attention an article that tells us more about why.  It says research shows Young People Prefer Praise.

“We looked at all the things college students love and they love self-esteem more,” says lead author Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University in Columbus.”

The article further stated that the students surveyed preferred experiences that boosted their self-esteem and cited things like getting good grades and compliments.  It went on to say:

“Part of what researchers analyzed was the difference between “liking” and “wanting,” based on study participants’ self-reports. They said they liked the rewards listed in the study more than they actually wanted them, which Bushman says is considered healthy. However, the liking-wanting distinction was smallest for self-esteem, suggesting a stronger desire for it than the other rewards.”

So not only did they like receiving these rewards, but they actually craved or wanted them:

“It’s about confidence in your ability to deal with life’s challenges and a sense of personal worth, rather than generalized praise and undeserved rewards.”

The article suggests that craving self-esteem can be harmful to a society when it crosses over into narcissism.  However, I believe this is much more likely for those who don’t follow Biblical principles which say to put others before ourselves.

I wonder if this rise in young people wanting or even craving experiences or feedback that fills self-esteem needs is because society as a whole is just so much busier than it used to be.  People are working two jobs to make ends meet.  Moms are worried about their children running with the wrong crowd or having too much free time that they are scheduling many more activities than they once did.  Nobody knows their neighbors anymore.  Are we all too busy these days to take the time to pay those compliments we used to?  Do people today feel lost in the crowd?  Is life more complicated today making it less likely to feel we are doing well?  Does society push self-esteem too much?  Or is it that society teaches us to seek conformity rather than treasure our uniqueness ?  Are we looking for acceptance from a world that says we are just one of the crowd?  Or does society no longer believe in a God who treasures each individual created with love?

What do you think?

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