communication

I bet you won’t read this!

July 2, 2015 by Art of Eloquence

It’s not as much a lack of training these days that gives way to communication issues; it’s currently a lack of interest!

I’d be willing to bet that 95% of the people who see this article (or any other article or blog post, or Facebook post or …you get the picture) will just scroll past it without giving it a second thought. I’d be willing to go one step further and say that almost the same amount of people will do so even if the topic is of great interest. I’d also be willing to bet that at least 75% of people don’t take the time to really listen when a friend or family member speaks and that about the same percentage don’t pay close attention to others enough to notice when a co worker, friend or neighbor is upset.

Nobody takes the time to pay attention these days! We have become a nation so frantic about trying to make a living and attend to our lives that we don’t take the time to really listen or read anymore. We also don’t realize that these short cuts actually take MORE time (confusing communication which has to be ironed out) than it would if we took the time to read it or listen carefully in the first place. We are a civilization divided into microwave nanoseconds. Don’t think so?

* What is most popular on FB? Not in depth articles on important matters of life, no–but silly pictures of cats. Even videos don’t get much attention anymore. Those are three minutes and fifty seven seconds too long to justify taking time away from liking three hundred dog photos on Facebook.

* What happens when someone posts a picture they don’t immediately understand? Do they look at the accompanying text to see what the person posting said? No, that takes too long! They ask or they assume and post a response that doesn’t fit the post.

* What TV shows are popular? Not the ones that make you think! Thinking is now a spectator sport. The popular shows are the ones that tell you what to think, give silly laughs and the dreaded reality shows that don’t bear any resemblance to reality.

* By the way, how many of you noticed that the Keep Right sign has the arrow pointing the wrong way?

No wonder nobody cares enough to learn to communicate effectively.

It doesn’t matter. You can be the most articulate soul on the planet, but if nobody reads what you write or listens to what you say or pays attention because it takes longer than three nanoseconds, your message is either lost or twisted and someone has probably unjustifiably taken offense at what they THINK you said.

Blog posts are almost a thing of the past because you actually have to READ. I commend you who have continued on this far. You are in the minority these days. Kuddos! You’ll learn stuff.

For quite some time, studies have shown that there has been a significant decline in communication effectiveness.

College professors report an increase in papers with text speak, slang and poor grammar. Employers have reported a serious lack of communication skill in their new hire candidates and that it’s one of the reasons employees are not promoted.

You and I notice it every day when we speak to people, and chat with them on social media. Sometimes the lack of communication skill is so apparent we can hardly make out what the person is trying to tell us.

However, it’s not as much a lack of training as it is a lack of interest. The bottom line is that most people today don’t feel communication is a subject that merits any attention. Why?

Undivided attention is overrated. Multitasking is a valued skill, but what isn’t generally taken into account is the fact that the less you concentrate on something, the less efficient you are at it. While you may be able to cook dinner, do the laundry and listen to little Johnny’s story, you probably didn’t catch everything he said.

Unfortunately, this is exactly why so many struggle in relationships, marriages and friendships these days. Relationships are all about communication and very few seek to master it these days. I teach communication skills and for the last ten years there has been a decline both in the skills demonstrated and the interest in learning and applying them. If you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of a misunderstanding, you know what I mean.

Need more proof?

Folks are busy and they are trying to find short cuts for whatever they do. I can’t count the number of times I have sent an email to someone and had them reply asking for the very information that was still included in the original email which was attached underneath their reply! Ever seen one of these?

From: Sally
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:49 PM
To: Mary
Subject: Re: Coffee on Friday?

Hi Mary,
What day and time?

Love,
Sally

>From: Mary
> Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:47 PM
> To: Sally
> Subject: Coffee on Friday?
>
> Dear Sally,
> How about coming over on Friday at 9am for some coffee?
>
> Love,
> Mary

Not only did Sally take extra time to send a reply to Mary asking for the very information Mary already gave her, but she has communicated to Mary that her email wasn’t worth her time to read properly in the first place. Additionally, it communicates to Mary that Sally doesn’t think Mary’s time is as valuable as hers. She is now requesting that Mary spend more of her time to answer a question she has already answered. Furthermore, it takes even more of Sally’s time to have to read through another one of Mary’s emails.

It’s time we, as a society, take back the responsibility for what we say and how we say it.

It’s time to learn to speak effectively and in grace. It’s time to be proactive…because what’s at stake is everyone one of our relationships! If you don’t, I can promise you there’s a storm coming! A miscommunication storm that will leave your relationships in its wake.

The economy is down and, it appears, we are all just too broke to pay attention. In today’s microwave society people are always looking for ways to save time…but are we actually spending more time because of miscommunication? You know that old phrase, “Do it right the first time” and you won’t have to spend time doing it again. I think our nanoseconds would be better spent if we heeded this time honored time saver!

Life’s busy in the 21st Century, but if we all take just a few moments to really read or listen to the other party, we might actually save ourselves a great deal of time and frustration. Read those emails carefully before you reply. Actively listen to the speaker before you respond. You just might answer your own question…before you spend endless nanoseconds to ask it!

I could have said more about this subject, but this blog post is already MUCH longer than most people will take time to read as it is. 😀

Check out ArtofEloquence.com and take your stand now! We have studies for PreK through adults and for every communication situation from speech and debate to sharing your faith and social skills!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: articles, busy, communication, confusing, keep right, laughs, listens, microwave society, nanoseconds, pay attention, popular shows, reads, sign, tv shows

Disturbing decline in any interest in communicating well

November 5, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

For quite some time, studies have shown that there has been a significant decline in communication effectiveness. College professors report an increase in papers with text speak, slang and poor grammar. Employers have reported a serious lack of communication skill in their new hire candidates and that it’s one of the reasons employees are not promoted.

However, it’s not as much a lack of training as it is a lack of interest. The bottom line is that most people today don’t feel communication is a subject that merits any attention. Why?

1. Undivided attention is overrated. Multitasking is a valued skill, but what isn’t generally taken into account is the fact that the less you concentrate on something, the less efficient you are at it. While you may be able to cook dinner, do the laundry and listen to little Johnny’s story, you probably didn’t catch everything he said.

2. The empowerment movement has told us that we have the right to free speech. What they have not mentioned is the responsibility we face for the way in which we deliver that speech. The idea is that I have the right to say whatever I want, but you don’t the right to be offended. However the opposite is also taught: I have the right to be offended by anything you say and you have to make it up to me. It’s a curious and unrealistic way to live.

It’s time we, as a society, take back the responsibility for what we say and how we say it. It’s time to learn to speak effectively and in grace. It’s time to be proactive…because what’s at stake are our relationships! If you don’t, I can promise you there’s a storm coming! A miscommunication storm that will leave your relationships in its wake.

Check out ArtofEloquence.com and take your stand now! We have studies for PreK through adults and for every communication situation from speech and debate to sharing your faith and social skills!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: adults, communication, communication skills, debate, prek, social skills, Speech, Subscribe Here!

We Declare 2014: The Year of Faith

October 29, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

There is no one-size-fits-all way to communicate with people and that is even more important when it comes to something as controversial as faith. In order to relate to those we minister to, we need to employ effective communication skills. Sharing our faith is as much how we say it as what we say. There no right way to communicate to everyone, but there are many wrong ways and in today’s anti-Christian culture, it’s even more important that we avoid those.

Over the next year, I will be giving you in-depth information about the best ways to share our faith as well as how to respond to anti-Christian bias and even how to handle conflicts within the Christian community. My goal with this year-long series of weekly newsletter articles will be to give the Christian community the tools it needs to understand unbelievers and the questions and issues they have, to inspire confidence in sharing the faith and the grace to temper their boldness with humility so that our message is better received. In addition, I’ll be pointing out the anti-Christian bias inside our own country, the media’s role in all this and how critical it is that the Christian community respond effectively in boldness and truth but tempered by grace.

Today, most Christians either don’t speak up or they do so in a way that alienates and offends most unbelievers. The reason for that is that most people today (both Christians and non Christians) don’t understand the importance of effective communication. In addition, there is a social trend that seeks to empower the individual, but neglects to take into account the responsibility for the fall out when their communication method is offensive. Many of today’s Christians believe that since God’s Word is offensive to some, they are justified or even expected to be offensive in their delivery. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard an unbeliever utter something like, “If that’s a Christian, I sure don’t want to be one!”

What happens when we share our faith in one of the many wrong ways is what I believe has taken us to a place where people no longer even want to discuss the issue and where most Christians don’t try. Some of the methods taught today in the church are not only ineffective, but counterproductive. I know, because I grew up in an Atheist home and my family is of Jewish heritage. I know what the religious discussions look like from the inside and I have a heart to give my insight to the Christian community in order to help us drive more people to the Lord instead of away from Him as is currently the norm.

As is often said, we may be the only Bible some people ever read. We are an example and people are watching us. My prayer is to raise up a community of Bible believing saints to share the Word of God in such a way that we are privileged to hear a comment like my daughter recently recieved in praise of the way she graciously shared her faith. “I wish all Christians were like you!”

Lastly, please cover Art of Eloquence in prayer as we embark on this year-long journey. Every time we host an event, run a special or release a promo regarding our study, Say What You Mean: Defending the Faith , we have found ourselves under spiritual attack. As we have prepared for a full year of focus on sharing and defending the faith, we have already encountered several challenges that have delayed us or created hurdles to climb. In the last few months, my health has deteriorated, we have had computer problems, lap top issues, iPhone problems, email troubles, our website has been hacked three times, and my glasses mysteriously broke…and those are only the ones I can remember. We’d appreciate your prayers as we devote a full year to preparing the faithful and the faith-filled in the Great Commission.

Please share this message with your friends and have them subscribe to our newsletter so we can reach even more of the Christian community in 2014! Thank you.

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News Tagged With: Christains, communication, Defending the Faith, faith, Say What You Mean Defending the Faith, sharing faith, Subscribe Here!, The Year of Faith

Exaggeration Leaves Our Words Powerless

October 22, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

I touched on this briefly in my post a couple weeks ago, Communication Lessons from Fairy Tales, but here is a more in depth look at this phenomenon.

Words like awesome, fabulous, I’m STARVING, DEAD TIRED… everyone says them, but most don’t truly mean them. Are we desensitized to them so much now that these words don’t mean anything anymore?

When someone with thyroid disease or fibro says I’m exhausted. Most think tired.

When someone is truly in pain and says it’s excruciating. Most think it hurts.

When someone is clinically depressed or has had a death in the family and says depressed, most think sad.

What’s the danger in this?

1. Using inflammatory words too often will give the impression you aren’t truthful, trustworthy or accurate.

2. Society’s overuse of inflammatory and exaggerated words desensitizes us to the needs of those who are truly starving, exhausted or awesome.

3. We miss the opportunities we see each day to uplift someone in need because we assume they are merely, hungry, mildly tired, or simply average.

Think back to how many times you have used the following words: Starving, dead tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, ecstatic, awesome, fabulous, incredible, fantastic, really and VERY. Did you really mean them or did you mean something less than that?

Now think back to the last time you heard someone else utter them. Do you even have a clue if THEY meant them? It’s getting harder to tell these days, isn’t it?

The next time you have a conversation with a friend, be careful to use accurate and descriptive words. Be careful also to listen for clues to discern when your friend is exaggerating and when he or she is really in need of your support and prayer. Here’s what to listen for:

1. Intonation

2. Body language

3. Facial expression

4. What you know of their past history and challenges

5. What you know of their personality

So many people are in need of our support. Don’t miss an opportunity to be that for a friend or acquaintance. You may be the only person who is really listening.

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Filed Under: Communication Reviews Tagged With: communication, depressed, disease, exaggeration, Fairy tales, pain, thyroid

Riddle Me This?

September 10, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Riddles exercise our brain and help us hone sharpen our skills which, in turn, help us to communicate more effectively. Riddles help us to read between the lines, think out of the box and pay close attention to work our listening skills. See if you can figure it out without scrolling down to find the answer. In fact, this is a great riddle for kids as well so grab your little ones and see how well they can do!

Q: What comes down, but never goes up?

A: Rain

Did you get it? Leave a comment and share your experiences!

NOTE: Don’t forget to submit your communication questions to jojo@artofeloquence.com for my monthly Ask JoJo section of my blog. I’ll pick one question per month to answer right here on the blog! You can ask anything related to communication skills from a tip on how not to be nervous making a speech to what games your kids can play that will help them hone their communication skills and even if your website or blog is clearly written!

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Filed Under: Communication FUNdamentals Tagged With: brain, communication, games, riddle

Beware of What Sounds Good

July 16, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

These feel good sayings have become quite popular these days. While they sound good, many of them just aren’t true-even if they are said by a famous and well-respected celebrity like Dr. Seuss. Beware that you don’t fall for them, and worse yet, communicate as if they are true.

Take this one for example. Not everything you feel needs to be said. Those who matter to you may, indeed, mind how you say them even if they don’t mind what you say. And those who mind may not matter to you, but they matter to God.

How we say things are often even more important than what we say. How we communicate with each other is important to God. He cautions us about the use of our mouth, words, lips and tongues all throughout the Bible.

“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6

My tip for this week: When you see quotes like these, make sure you read them…carefully before you accept them as truth and act accordingly.

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If you liked this post, read…Seven Reasons Why YOU Should Sign Up for the Art of Eloquence Newsletter!

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Filed Under: Communication Reviews Tagged With: Ask JoJo, Bible, communication, communication skills, Dr. Seuss, Sayings

Goin’ Weekly with All New Segments!

July 2, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Due to underwhelming support, we are discontinuing our Communication Comedy Network monthly video program. Our pilot episode garnered very few views or feedback. Since they are very time intensive to produce, we have decided to put our efforts elsewhere. To that end, we are going back to a weekly blog post schedule and we have all new categories for you! Along with Art of Eloquence news, we will be posting on the following topics on a monthly basis:

Communication FUNdamentals: Fun communication games, riddles and contests!

“Wright” the Wrongs: Short paragraph where you’ll be challenged to correct poor grammar, spelling or punctuation!

Communication Reviews: Reviews of TV shows, movies, commercials, Facebook trends, etc!

Ask JoJo: Submit your communication question to me and I’ll choose one per month to answer right here on the blog. Questions can be anything from a tip on communication skills (how not to be nervous when making a speech) to what games your kids can play that will help them hone their communication skills or even if your website or blog is clearly written!

I’d love to get a list of questions to choose from each month so go ahead and begin asking your communication question today by following the directions in the NOTE below.

We would love your feedback on the new line up for the blog. Please leave a comment here and tell us your thoughts.

By the way, you can click on the picture to view our CCN pilot video if you’d like.

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If you liked this post, read…Seven Reasons Why YOU Should Sign Up for the Art of Eloquence Newsletter!

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News Tagged With: blog, CCN, Comedy, communication, Contests, Facebook, games, network, riddles

The Spaghetti Test Method of Communication

May 6, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Mothers through the generations have told their children that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. It’s sage advice and something that teaches us many lessons about how we should communicate with others. The following is from the introduction of my newest communication study, Say What You Mean for Moms, the first in a series of communication studies for parents which you may pre order today at a 30% discount!

Three of the most important lessons learned from mom’s old saying:

1. We should strive for our communication to be grace-filled

2. We should think before we speak.

3. We should be purposeful in how we communicate…which brings me to a technique people have adopted of late that sounds good, but just flat isn’t true. It’s what I call The Spaghetti Test Method of Communication.

I was talking with a friend of mine about how so few people understand the incredible value of learning to communicate effectively when she made a comment that reminded me of something my mother taught me about cooking. She said, “there is a trend today of just ‘putting it out there’ and laying the responsibility on the listener to discern your meaning. And if you don’t. . . well, doom on you!”

This illustration reminded me of the old spaghetti test to determine whether or not it was done. Mom told me that women used to throw spaghetti up against the wall to see if it would stick. If it did, it was done. I remember thinking that either way, you’d have a messy wall to clean up!

The same can be said of throwing our communication out there in order to see what sticks. I’ve seen so many popular memes on Facebook lately that tout the idea that you should say whatever you want and let the chips fall where they may. It may sound empowering, but it’s a myth. It’s not empowering at all.

The idea is to speak your mind and the “people who matter won’t mind and the people who mind, don’t matter.” I wrote an entire article on this one false premise, but suffice it to say that those who matter may, indeed mind the way you put things and those who mind matter to God. If God had wanted us to say exactly what we wanted any old way we wanted to, why would He caution us about how we communication so many times in the Bible?

“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” -Colossians 4:6

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” -Ephesians 4:29

“Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.” -Matthew 15:11

“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions.” -Proverbs 18:2

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Remember that when you throw your communication out there like spaghetti on a wall to see what sticks, you make a messy wall you may have to spend an entire lifetime cleaning up! Learning how to communicate effectively is preferable to becoming a chattering fool. Remember what Proverbs 10:8 says, “The wise in heart accepts commands, but the chattering fool comes to ruin.” Check out our most requested title, Say What You Mean for Moms and learn how to communicate effectively with your children so you aren’t throwing spaghetti up on their wall.

Enter Our Monthly Drawing!

If you’ve read all the way through, I’d like to thank you! I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Please leave a comment and please share the link with those you know. I will put the names of all those who comment with their own experiences and insights and who share this link into a drawing for a free gift or a gift certificate. Your choice. You have until the end of the month to do so before I draw a name. Please make sure to have your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you are our winner.

CONGRATULATIONS: Laura! You are the winner of our May Blog Contest!

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JoJo’s blog only comes out once a month. If you would like more information, tips and free gifts, please subscribe to our twice monthly newsletter.

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News, Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, if you don't have anything nice to say, moms, Say What You Mean for Moms, Spaghetti test, think before you speak

Are you communicating like an April Fool?

April 1, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

NOTE: Due to health issues, I am only writing a monthly blog post right now. If you would like more information, tips and free gifts, please subscribe to our twice monthly newsletter.

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There is one day each year that actually inspires poor and just plain bad communication. The practice of playing April Fool’s jokes has given way to four flavors of communication problems. I’ll share each one along with my suggestions to avoid each of the communication pitfalls they create and then I’ll share my thoughts on how April may not be the only time we make April Fools of ourselves or others with our communication.

1. Joke Mania

Trying to communicate anything to anyone at this time of year can be quite trying. Some people wait all year for this day so they can play silly jokes on their friends. Others just love to retweet or share them on social media. And, because people know it’s April Fool’s Day, they read silly jokes into almost everything that’s posted.

Tips:

* Avoid exposing yourself to too many of these jokes as the temptation to get caught up in the April Foolery is too great.

* If you can avoid it, don’t post serious things on April Fools’ Day–unless it’s about April Fool’s Day, of course. 😀 Serious things have a tendency to be either overlooked or taken as a joke on All Fool’s Day.

* Be very careful not to fall into the trap of perpetuating April Fool’s jokes as your social media friends may tire of them and begin to tune you out.

2. All Jokes; All the Time

The expectation of the over abundance of practical jokes leads many to assume things are a joke, even when they aren’t intended that way creating a host of misunderstandings.

Tips:

* When sharing something that could even possibly be interpreted as a joke, tell them up front that it is a true story: (Not an April Fool Joke).

* When reading or listening to friend’s stories, read between the lines and look at body language to discern if the story is a joke or is, in fact, real. Assuming it’s a joke can cause hurt feelings if someone is pouring his heart out in pain.

3. Careless Jokes Accidentally Cause Real Pain

Perpetuating April Fool’s jokes may feel harmless, but weigh the potential that the other person may misunderstand and get upset.

Tips:

* Be conscious of the things you post, even the few days prior to and after April 1st. Make sure it cannot be misinterpreted or that someone might not take it too far.

4. Hurtful Jokes are Justified or Even Glorified

Some people make a concerted effort to *get someone good* which often ends up scaring the pants off them, leaving them wary of their plotting *friend.*

MANY years ago, my husband’s friend sent him an email at work which automatically opened a series of screens he couldn’t shut down. These screens made it LOOK like he was surfing porn sites. At the time, my husband was a temp at that company on probation for a permanent position there. This could have gotten him fired. Even if the company knew it was sent as a joke and was viewed on his lunch hour and not on company time, his bosses might have a perception that he wasn’t a serious candidate for permanent employment.

The next step in April Foolery, is one upsmanship. The next year my husband vowed to get him back and emailed his April Foolish buddy that we were getting a divorce. Believing it was true, his friend told his wife while he was still on the phone and they both anguished over the demise of our marriage. My, then, young husband did feel the need to confess while still on the phone so as to minimize the ill effects to his friend and his wife and, thankfully, the April Fool jokes ended there.

Tips:

* I just have one here: Just don’t do it!

However, April Fool’s Day isn’t the only time we can make fools of ourselves or others with our communication. Here are a few ways in which I’ve seen this happen:

1. Assumed Aggression

This is especially easy over social media where the intent can be misunderstood due to a lack of body language, facial expressions, vocal clues and a lack of continuity of thought as only parts of the conversation/thoughts are seen and others (previous posts) missed.

Not knowing the full context of the conversation often leads people to assume the worst or read aggression into a remark. Sometimes aggression is assumed due to a similar previous encounter with another or because the subject matter hits a nerve.

Tips:

* Always give the writer the benefit of the doubt

* When in doubt, ask what the person meant by that

* Never reply, “SHEESH!”

2. Confused Wording or Punctuation

The more confusing the communication and inaccurate the punctuation and grammar, the more we make fools of ourselves and other people.

Tips:

* Be very careful to choose your words carefully

* Look at your comment twice to make sure it can’t be easily misinterpreted before you hit send or post

Anyone can overlook foolish communication once in a while, but be careful not to become known for your confusing comments, punctuation, aggressive tone or other foolish communication or people may tune you out all together.

Tip: Almost nobody will tell you gently that you’ve been confusing or unnecessarily aggressive. Most will just go away mad or frustrated. Don’t be an April Fool; take the time to communicate clearly. Art of Eloquence can help! Make sure you’re subscribed to our twice monthly newsletter for our exclusive tips, gifts and special offers and check us out on Facebook for some fun with words and language.

If you’ve read all the way through, I’d like to thank you! I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Please leave a comment and share the blog post link with those you know. I will put the names of all those who commented and shared this link into a drawing for a free gift or a gift certificate. Your choice. You have until the end of the month to do so before I draw a name. Please make sure to have your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you are our winner.

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If you liked this post, read…Seven Reasons Why YOU Should Sign Up for the Art of Eloquence Newsletter! This month I’ll be sharing two articles on some other foolish communication trends and how YOU can avoid them!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: April, April Fool's, communication, fool, Foolish, foolish communication, joke, jokes, Subscribe Here!

Nine out of ten of you won’t read this, but you SHOULD!

March 4, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

Announcement: Due to my health issues, I will only be writing posts for the Art of Eloquence blog once a month. If you would like more information, tips and free gifts, please subscribe to our twice monthly newsletter.

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Have you noticed that some of social media posts will garner tons of “likes,” retweets, shares, and comments, but others…well…they just don’t? It seemed to me that the ones that are the most important are commonly in the latter group. Frustrated, I looked deeper into this issue and was surprised by what I found. I think you will be too, but it’s an important communication lesson for us all in the Technological Age. By the way, I encourage you to read through to the end of this blog post. You’ll see why when you get there.

That old saying “I’m just too broke to pay attention” is becoming a sad reality in today’s society-especially in light of the current and equally sad economy. Do you ever feel like people don’t pay attention to what you post on Facebook or read your emails? Well, I ran an extended experiment on my fan page, Facebook wall, Twitter and Google + accounts and found some very interesting results.

What I Noticed

* Over the last several years, there has been a steady decline in newspaper and magazine subscriptions in favor of finding snippets of news on Facebook, Twitter and other internet forums.

* In the last few years, there has been a marked increase in the number of times I’ve had to play email volleyball in order to clarify something that the other party had inexplicably missed in my original communication.

* In the last year or two, more and more friends of mine were unsubscribing from newsletters, blogs and email lists that they once were quite involved in.

* Recently, there is a significant decrease of discussion on blogs and about online newsletters.

* Quite recently, there has been a distinct increase of memes and pictures posted on social media.

The Experiment

I conducted an extensive experiment on both my Facebook fan pages, my Facebook wall, Twitter/Google + account, my newsletter and my blog for the last year or so. I posted all manner of media including videos, blog posts, notes, pictures, memes and one liners.

The Results

Pictures (memes) get the most likes and comments. Anything with more than a few lines of text get very few. Links to articles, newsletters or blog posts don’t get read or responded to much because people have to take the time to click on it.

So, the more removed something is from where people see it and the more words it has, the less response there is. Further, the less likely that response reflects that the person had actually READ the article, listened to the audio or watched the video–even if people say they are interested in the topic.

Controversial topics garner the most response with unique comments about frustrating issues people are currently facing (especially if the comment has only a few lines of text) coming in second.

So Why Don’t People Read Anymore?

They’re just too broke to pay attention! Most people are so busy trying to make a living that they no longer have time to make a life. They run from family functions to kid’s activities to shopping to work and back home again, home again jiggety jig. Too busy and too involved in their own stuff to pay attention to their friends, neighbors and extended family.

What to Do in Order to Get Your Ideas Across these Days

If you are trying to get a message across for ministry or business or a cause you support and you want to make sure your thoughts get noticed, start first with picture (meme) that has little to no text, but in a creative way asks a provocative question or makes a unique or humorous statement. Then, as people comment on it, introduce your supporting ideas and details.

Do You Read?

Be honest. Have you ever been caught having to admit you hadn’t read someone’s email thoroughly? Have you ever posted a comment on Facebook only to find you had completely misunderstood his post because you hadn’t read it carefully? Have you ever tweeted a reply based on a Twitter article title and discovered egg on your face because you hadn’t actually READ the article which had nothing to do with what you thought the title suggested?

My Challenge

I challenge you to read what you may not think you have time for and to take the time to read it carefully. You just might learn something that will bless your life or the lives of others you know. You will save yourself time in the long run because you will truly understand what is being communicated to you and you will reduce the amount of conflicts you have with others because you’ll get it right the first time. I challenge you also to pass this blog link around to educate and encourage others to take the time to read.

Thank You

Another advantage of taking the time to read fully and carefully is that sometimes you are rewarded for doing so. It’s kind of like staying in the theater after a movie and watching the credits. My dad likes to leave the theater as soon as the movie is over. My dh and I always stay til the very end of the credits until they turn the lights back on. Why? Very often at the end of the movie is a bit of fun, a surprise or a story resolution you’d never know about unless you stayed and paid close attention. Sometimes it’s the best part of the movie!

If you’ve read all the way through this, admittedly, very long blog post, I’d like to thank you! I will put the names of all those who leave a comment with their thoughts/experiences and say they shared this link with others into a drawing for a free gift or a gift certificate. Your choice. You have until the end of the month to do so before I draw a name. Please make sure to have your email address on your comment so I can contact you if you are our winner.

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If you liked this post, read…Seven Reasons Why YOU Should Sign Up for the Art of Eloquence Newsletter! This month I’ll be sharing newsletter articles on two other disturbing communication trends you need to know about and what YOU can do about them!

NOTE: And don’t forget to check out our incredible Fire Sale this month! Here’s what one customer had to say: “I can’t believe the awesome deal that you are offering on this set of e-books, JoJo! I just ordered mine! These are totally amazing! Thank you for such a great deal!” -Candy F.

CONTEST WINNER: April!

Congratulations to April who posted her comments and shared this blog post (actually several times) on March 4th! I am notifying her via email so she can obtain her prize! Thank you all for posting your thoughts and for sharing the blog article with your friends!

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News, Communication Articles Tagged With: blog, broke, communication, economy, experiment, Facebook, newsletters, pay attention, reading, social media, Twitter

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