10 Fun Ways to Teach Kids Communication

Communication FUNdamentals: 10 Fun Ways To Teach Children Effective Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

Communication skills are vital -especially in the information age. Studies show that effective communicators are happier, do better in school, are more successful and make more money than their less eloquent counterparts. So how do you teach your children to express themselves better? The FUN way!

The best way to teach children anything is to make it fun and involve as many of their five senses as possible. Here are a list of 10 games/activities that will foster effective communication skills in your children.

1. Play Telephone. The more the merrier. This old elementary school game is a delightfully fun way to develop your child’s listening skills. This game is perfect for any age. Begin with a simpler message for the younger children and gradually increase the size and complexity as they get older.

2. Directions to Fun. Have your older child write out directions from your house to somewhere fun; for example, the ice cream shop. Preferably give the directions to a third party who is unfamiliar with the area, and have him follow the directions precisely. Did you get there? If so, have an ice cream cone! If not, talk about what went wrong in the communication. What could be changed that would help get you there the next time. This is a wonderful exercise to help children from 4th through 12th grade learn to give better directions. But it also is a lesson in itself about communication. In order to effectively communicate what you want, you must learn to say what you mean so that others can fully understand.

3. Dress for Success. Go to the store or any other public place dressed in your Sunday best. Notice how you are treated. Next go to the same store or a similar location dressed shabbily or inappropriately for the occasion. (Ex: to a Mercedes dealership in old jeans and a worn out T-shirt) Notice how differently you are treated. This illustrates that their nonverbal communication has consequences. You will want to point out that strange person walking on the street and do a little of what I call “brain washing”. Paint them a picture of the consequences of the communication that is sent when people wear skimpy clothes or dress like hoodlums. Tell them what their choice of clothes is saying to the average person…to a prospective employer. Give them the facts on how this will impact their lives a year…two years…ten years down the line. Tell them what could happen tomorrow if someone draws a conclusion based on those clothes that puts them in harms way.

4. Talk n Listen. Have your child sing Yankee Doodle while another person recites the Pledge of Allegiance. See how long they can go without flubbing it up. If your child can do this too easily, have each one read from a different book. Tell them to each take turns relating what the other had read. This helps illustrate that old saying that God gave us two ears and one mouth in order that we listen twice as much as we talk.

5. Um Contest. Have your child talk about a familiar topic. Any topic. For example, his/her favorite activity or book. See how long he/she can keep from uttering “um”, “er”, “uh”, “like”, or “ya’ know”. This develops the child’s confidence as well as eloquence. Eliminating these “words” in your child’s vocabulary will cause the him to focus on becoming more articulate and increasing his vocabulary.

6. Feed Me Applesauce. Blindfold someone and have that person feed applesauce to another blindfolded person. Have a third person who is not blindfolded giving the directions to both parties. This teaches students to give directions more effectively.

*NOTE* This is messy! Fun, but messy! You will want to make sure that your children are not wearing their good clothes and that this activity takes place on a bare floor and not carpet.

7. Presentation. Have your child give a presentation of sorts to a local retirement home. This can include giving a craft demonstration, playing piano for them as in a short recital, singing or reciting a poem. This teaches your child how to present him/herself. This can be done with children of all ages. The sooner you get your child comfortable talking in public, the better. It will become like second nature to them and they may be able to avoid the biggest fear that most people have: PUBLIC SPEAKING. Studies show that people who enjoy speaking in public are more successful than those who do not. So get them out there showing off the talents God gave them!

8. What’s Going on in the Picture? This one is great for the little ones. Have your child tell you what he sees in a picture. Encourage him to describe the scenery, the people, the colors…anything he sees. For older children, have them talk about what they think might have just happened before this scene and what they think will happen after. This gives them practice in formulating ideas in a logical manner that others can easily understand.

9. Finish a Story. This one is also very good for different age groups. Kids love stories! You start off a story and have your child finish it. For very young children, you can tell them a nursery rhyme and have them make up an alternate ending or add on to the story. This exercise is great for teaching beginning verbal communication skills.

10. Impromptu Speech. This exercise is wonderful for children of all ages. Pick a topic that your child is familiar with or just loves and ask him/her to speak for about 2 minutes on that topic. After a while, have your student graduate to speaking on more difficult topics and/or for longer periods of time. You can start them off by talking about their favorite movie and eventually graduate them to controversial topics like prayer in school.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, they won’t get you anywhere.” Lee Iacocca The more your children practice communication skills, the more effective they will be in communicating their needs and ideas. The more fun you can make it, the more they will want to practice these essential skills.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Classic Baby Babble Video!

It’s preschool week here at Communiation FUNdamentals as we get ready for our weekly podcast on the Communication Comedy Network!  This week we are asking the question if it’s too early to begin teaching our preschoolers to communicate effectively.

Preschoolers have a natural curiosity and a hankering for learning.  Preschoolers are the most teachable students and it can be a blessing to begin teaching them these vital skills.  To illustrate just how much young children feel the need to communicate with us, I give you this video:

Tune in to tomorrow’s Talk Talk Show: The Talk Show About Talking on the Communication Comedy Network and find out how and what we should teach our preschoolers about communication skills!  Each Thursday morning: 8am PST/ 11am EST!

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Post Our Link & You Could Win $350 Prize Pkg!

OMGosh!  This is our biggest contest yet!  And the easiest one to enter!  Art of Eloquence will reach a milestone next month of being in business for 7 years!  Each year we have had a fun contest for our customers but this one is by far the BEST EVER!

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All you need to do is post a link to the Art of Eloquence website and tell people to check us out and that qualifies you to enter our contest to win a prize package worth well over $350!  You can check out our Contest Page for more details and to see the HUGE package of prizes you could win if you are the one who posts the most before December 31st, 2009!   But …here is the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version:

What Art of Eloquence Page to Link to:

You can link to our homepage: http://www.ArtofEloquence.com , any of our product pages (see our Online Catalog),  our newsletter page: http://artofeloquence.com/pages/newsletters.php or even to our contest page: http://artofeloquence.com/pages/Contest.php

Where to Post Our Link:

Post to your email friends, your blog, your newsletter, Yahoo group, website, Facebook, My Space or Twitter page… anywhere you have a following.

What to Say:

You can tell them to check out Art of Eloquence and that we have the most creative and fun speech communication studies around!  You can tell them about a particular product you like or want to purchase and link to that product page.  You can tell them to sign up for our newsletter to get exclusive offers and freebies just for subscribers.  Or you could tell them about our contest!

In the last seven years, Art of Eloquence has helped hundreds and hundreds of students improve their communication skills with their parents, their friends, their employees, their businesses and even those they minister the Word of God to!  With your help, we can reach even more and help them prepare for their futures as they follow the Lord’s leading in their lives! And you can win a huge prize package in the process!

But there’s more!  Art of Eloquence is giving away 10 MORE PRIZES in this contest!  Our winner will get a $350 prize package of awesome donated gifts from some fabulous Christian companies!  BUT we will also select 10 random contest entries to win a free gift from Art of Eloquence!  The more you enter, the better your chances of winning any of our prizes so enter early and enter often!! LOL

As they used to say on those Bartles and James commercials: “Thanks again for your support!”

Check out our contest page for all the details and to see the fabulous gifts so many have donated toward our contest!

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Oct. Mailbag-Teaching Preschoolers

We received some interesting comments and questions this month and I wanted to share them with you.  First here is a small sampling of the comments we received this month:

“Your communication article in TOS made me laugh. I am a talker. The first thing the Lord told me to do while I was just hours old in the faith was silence…That silence intrigued my hubby who followed me to church and was soon saved himself. LOL You are right on keep up the good work!” -Heather W.

“Hi, JoJo! Loved your article in The Old Schoolhouse magazine!:)  Good stuff!” -Kimberly E.

“I can’t wait to listen to this week’s show!” -Leslie V.

“This issue with the different type of conversationalists was an absolute SCREAM!  I laughed so much!  Thank you for this, JoJo!” -Beth J.

Thanks ladies!  I am always excited to hear from our customers and subscribers with feedback on what we offer.  Thanks for taking the time to write in!

Two questions that were asked this month were things I thought many of our customers may be wondering so I chose them as the questions I would answer this month on Mailbag Monday.  Here they are:

1. “I just ordered and received the Teen Bonus Pack and Defending The Faith. Do you recommend completing them in any specific order? Thank you!” -Judy K.

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The Teen Bonus Pack was designed to be done in the order it is listed on the product page: Say What You Mean for Teens, Know Your Audience and Say What You Mean: A Creative Speech Course.  SWM for Teens is a general communication study that will teach basic communication skills as well as a speech that is done in small bites which is perfect for beginners or shy students.  Know Your Audience is a listening and persuasion course teaching students to tailor their message to different audiences.  SWM: A Creative Speech Course is an actual speech course that makes it fun and easy for students to learn both impromptu and prepared speeches.

However, Art of Eloquence eStudies are designed to be flexible.  Each study is a complete and separate course and may be used on their own and in any order.  Further, most of our studies are easily adaptable to a co op setting where you may not have a full 18 week (semester) to deliver your class.  I have personally done co op classes using Art of Eloquence studies that were 8 or 10 or 16 weeks.  Most lessons are also complete and may be used separately.  If you look at the makeup of your class (or the needs of the individual student), you can pick and choose which lessons to include in your abbreviated class.

If you would like more information for your particular student or class, I am always available via email for a short consult.

2. I received a call from a customer asking what age to start teaching her children communication skills.  It’s funny she should ask this month  as one of my podcasts on the Communication Comedy Network is this week’s show on how early we should begin to teach our children communication skills.

Art of Eloquence has several studies and fun things for kids as young as preschool to enjoy and learn these vital skills.  We do so not just to capture a larger market, but because in my experience with my own children, it is far better for them to begin their study of communication skills at this age than to wait until fear or bad habits or rejection sets in.

You see, I was an incredibly shy child and grew up without the benefit of having these social skills.  It hindered almost everything I did until I learned that my shyness wasn’t a personality trait.  It was a lack of social communication skills. And once that issue was address, I became the outgoing gregarious goofball God intended me to be.  The problem?  It took MANY years to undo all I had learned with respect to how I related and communicated with others.  I made a vow that I would not allow that to happen to my children and so I began their communication skills training when they were quite young because that’s when they have fun learning and soak it up as a sponge!

The result?  My dd never went through that awkward age in latter elementary school where she was afraid to voice her ideas.  She went on to learn to express herself so well that she was able to successfully debate her learned grandfather on creation vs evolution.  She is now a sophomore at Vanderbilt University involved in ministry and just recently came back from a missions trip during her Fall Break from school.

CCN Logo2I’ll be sharing much more on this topic on Thursday’s show.  Join me for the Talk Talk Show: The Talk Show about Talking on the Communication Comedy Network live or listen in to the audio recording that will be available just after the live show.

The Communication Comedy Network airs Thursdays at 8am PST /11am EST!

http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736

It’s free, it’s fun and it’s informative!

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Say What You Mean When You’re in Business

This week I’m talking about social networking mostly on Facebook.  Next week I’ll be talking about Twitter.  Since many people use social networking sites for business, I wanted to share with you a resource Art of Eloquence has for small business owners.

Say What You Mean When You’re in Business!

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87% of what you do all day is communication related. Make the most of it by learning some simple techniques that will drastically improve communication with your customers, business associates, suppliers, employees and/or downline. Studies show that effective communicators are more successful people who are comfortable making presentations or speeches are more likely to be successful. This Christian-based and easy to use, this is a great reference for those in direct sales and perfect for those just starting out in business! This PDF eBook is the culmination of my degree in Speech Communication and over 20 years of experience in business from sole proprietorships to network marketing to Fortune 500 Companies. Now you can be the expert and do the same things that I have done so you can increase YOUR success!  Here’s what you will learn:

Over 100 tips and techniques!
Creating a communication package for your business.
How to present yourself as an expert in your field.
How to effectively handle customer service, complaints and returns.
Making Contacts
Effective use of networking groups
Handling kids and business.
How/when to share your faith
How to gain support from family and friends…And much, much more
Each chapter begins with a Bible quote
Shows you not just what to do but how to do it!

Here’s what a some customers had to say:
There is a LOT of tangible information in this book! Usually, you have books that don’t give actual “what to do’s” when telling you about a topic. This book tells you what to do! It gives plenty of examples as well. So you have a book that is great from beginning business to end. I highly recommend this book for those of you who need to regroup from burnout in business and those of you just starting out. Thank you JoJo for writing this book. I’m keeping it as reference material and will make my employees read it as they are hired.” Susie Glennan, President – The Busy Woman’s Daily Planner

“I got my e-book – “Say What You Mean When You’re In Business.” I can’t put it down. It’s wonderful. I have only gotten through about half of it, but I have already learned so much and am already implenting many of the suggestions into my business practices. It’s great!!! My husband also has a separate small business and he’s been reading it too. I print out a couple of chapters…I read it…then pass it on to him and he reads it. Thanks again JoJo. Blessings.” Brenda, Brenda’s County Gift Shoppe

To help you communicate more effectively with your customers, business associates, suppliers, downline and/or employees, visit Art of Eloquence.com!

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7 Wonders of the Christian World

7 Wonders of the Christian World
By JoJo Tabares

1. I wonder why: It’s scary to hear someone passionate about God, but inspiring to hear someone passionate about Football.

2. I wonder why: It’s normal to believe in God, yet crazy to believe in Satan.

3. I wonder why: It’s understandable that you talk to God, but insane if you hear Him speak to you.

4. I wonder why: A miracle is not believable, yet multiple instances of coincidence is.

5. I wonder why: It’s silly to believe in Adam and Eve, but not in atom and evolution.

6. I wonder why: It’s acceptable to talk about God, but offensive to talk about Jesus.

7. I wonder why: It’s commendable to help a drowning man, yet contemptible to try to “save” him.

For those who wonder…

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean: Defending the faith.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on how to share your faith in grace, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Success=Leadership=Communication Skills

Success=Leadership=Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

Research shows that successful leaders are effective communicators.  Why?  Because you can lead a horse to water but not if you don’t show him how to get there!

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” -Lee Iacocca

Want to be a successful corporate leader?  You have to learn to speak effectively with your superiors in order to communicate that you can handle a promotion. Next,  in order to remain successful in a leadership position with the company, you must learn to effectively communicate with your subordinates in order to lead.

Management in the 21st century isn’t barking out orders.  Today’s managers are leaders and leadership requires motivating their employees and building relationships.  Furthermore, most companies are now considering communication skills as vital factors in the hiring and promotion process.

Looking to be a successful entrepreneur?  You had better learn to effectively communicate your vision to investors, business associates and, most importantly, to your customers!

According to a study done by AT&T and Stanford University, “People who enjoy giving speeches earn much more than those who avoid public speaking.”

If you are looking to make a difference in the world, communication skills are vitally important!  In order to witness to others, promote a ministry, reach others with your vision, you must be able to communicate your vision and persuade others to accept it and join you in your mission.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6

Good communication skills enhance your leadership and success in the following ways:

* Self confidence
* Leadership Skills
* Personal Presence
* Credibility
* Ability to Persuade/Explain
* Understanding of Others
* Interaction and Enjoyment
* Learning Effectiveness

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

Pick your favorite leader.  Go ask him about how important communication skills are to him!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, including Say What You Mean: The Language of Leadership, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Are We Just Too Broke to Pay Attention?

Are We Just Too Broke to Pay Attention?

The economy is down and, it appears, we are all just too broke to pay attention.  In today’s microwave society people are always looking for ways to save time…but are we actually spending more time because of miscommunication?  You know that old phrase, “Do it right the first time and you won’t have to spend time doing it again.”  I think our nanoseconds would be better spent if we heeded this time honored time saver!

I don’t know about you, but I have had a tough time communicating lately.  Folks are busy and they are trying to find short cuts for whatever they do.  I can’t count the number of times I have sent an email to someone and had them reply asking for the very information that was still included in the original email which was attached underneath their reply!  Ever seen one of these?

From: Sally
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:49 PM
To: Mary
Subject: Re: Coffee on Friday?

Hi Mary,
What day and time?

Love,
Sally

>From: Mary
>Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:47 PM
>To: Sally
>Subject: Coffee on Friday?
>
>Dear Sally,
>How about coming over on Friday at 9am for some coffee?
>
>Love,
>Mary

Not only did Sally take extra time to send a reply to Mary asking for the very information Mary already gave her, but she has communicated to Mary that her email wasn’t worth her time to read properly in the first place.  Additionally, it communicates to Mary that Sally doesn’t think Mary’s time is as valuable as hers.  She is now requesting that Mary spend more of her time to answer a question she has already answered.  Furthermore, it takes even more of Sally’s time to have to read through another one of Mary’s emails.

Ever hear your kids, with their face in the refrigerator, say something like this:

“Mom!  Where’s the milk?”

What ensues is a time wasting discussion about the fact that they have looked and you know it’s in there.  I usually end up going to the refrigerator and pointing directly in front of their nose which breaks the code illuminating the BIG WHITE PLASTIC CONTAINER.

“You have to look when you’re looking!”

Why was it necessary to demystify the existence of the milk I often wonder?  Is it invisible to children?  Sometimes what they are looking for isn’t right in front of their nose but just behind the milk.  It never occurs to them to move the milk to look behind it.  Oh no!  That would take far too many nanoseconds!  What results is a twenty minute “discussion” where they yell up from downstairs and you yell down from upstairs each arguing the merits of his case until you decide it would take far less time to run downstairs and point out the almost empty glass of chocolate milk!

Life’s busy in the 21st Century, but if we all take just a few moments to really read or listen to the other party, we might actually save ourselves a great deal of time and frustration.  Read those emails carefully before you reply.  Actively listen to the speaker before you respond.  Move that milk carton just a smidge!  You just might answer your own question…before you spend endless nanoseconds to ask it!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Six Ways to be a Bad Conversationalist

Six Ways to be a Bad Conversationalist
by JoJo Tabares

Everyone can talk, but not everyone is a good conversationalist.  If you haven’t had much experience or training, there are some conversation mistakes that can make you someone nobody wants to talk to.

1. Mr. Prove-It:
Mr. Prove-It will make you prove the validity of everything that comes out of your mouth.  Having a conversation with him is like swimming upstream.  Their favorite expression is “Really?!”.  They take all the fun out of a conversation!  Often they can be found leaning back in their chair, stroking their chin with a look of superiority on their face.  Mr. Prove-It leaves no stone unturned.  This is an extreme example but Mr. Prove-It can be more subtle:

Mr. Prove-It: So when are you leaving on your trip to Hawaii?

Mr. Trapped-Rat: About 3am.  We got 50% off, but it has some strings.

Mr. Prove-It: 50% off? Really?!

Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes.  We were so excited …

Mr. Prove-It:  That doesn’t sound right!

Mr. Trapped-Rat:  Yes.  It’s a promotion for employees where I work.  We are very excited because this is the first time we have ever been to Hawaii…

Mr. Prove-It: Why would they do that? Gas prices are skyrocketing right now?

Conversation with Mr. Prove-It is a chore.  When Mr. Trapped-Rat sees Mr. Prove-It coming, he’ll be inclined to run the other direction!

2. I. M. Oblivious:
Ida Mae Oblivious is also frustrating.  She never seems to pay attention to what the other person is saying.  She is usually quick to point out what others should be doing, but never quite absorbs the information she hears.  Listening is not her forte.  She’s a talker!

Ida Mae: We are all going out party hopping after the Prom.  Come along with us.

H. Earme: No thank you.  I have to get home.

Ida Mae: Oh everyone is going to go!  Come on!

H. Earme: No thank you.  I am not really a party hopper. lol

Ida Mae: Well, then it’s time you started!

H. Earme: No, really.  I’m just going to go home. I have work tomorrow.

Ida Mae: Oh, come on!  One late night won’t kill ya!

H. Earme: No really.  I have to work tomorrow.

Ida Mae: So, you call in sick tomorrow!  Come on!

Ida Mae just doesn’t give up.  When she’s not trying to talk someone into doing something they don’t want, she is busy sharing ideas with people who couldn’t care less!  People like to make their own decisions.  They usually don’t appreciate Ida Mae’s input and usually try to avoid conversations where they know she will have an opinion!

3. Me MyselfandI
This conversationalist is so consumed with herself that she never comments on what others have said.  She’s the one in the group who is always talking about her own experiences.  “Me” never asks questions of anyone else and so she knows very little about anyone.  She is of no help to anyone because she never answers questions unless it is with a story about “when it happened to me…”.

Nobody OfConsequence: I am a little nervous about all these medical tests.  I am praying nothing is really wrong.

Ms MyselfandI: Six years ago I had a bunch of tests.  I was so nervous that I had to have my dh ….

Nobody ofConsequence: I would appreciate your prayers that everything goes ok.

Ms. MyselfandI: Oh I remember how everyone prayed for me. Do you know that I had people praying all over the world?

Ms. MyselfandI listens “with her answer running” as they say.  She doesn’t really listen, but instead, lay in wait for her chance to speak.  She is instead, rehearsing what she will say in silence until it is, again, her turn in the spotlight.  She doesn’t relate her experiences in order to relate with others or give them comfort.  She does so to be the center of attention and her motives are almost always transparent.

4. The Reporter
The Reporter doesn’t really know how to communicate well and she knows it.  She tries hard to fit herself and her lack of self-esteem into a conversation, but she just can’t think of anything original to say so she uses fillers.  She states the obvious and often feels uneasy with silence.

The Reporter: Oh!  Look at that!  Tommy is just so cute.  He fell down.  Oh how sweet he is.  Oh look at him wobble!  Awww…look at him smile.  What a smile he has!  So cute.  Just so cute.  Look at him trying to fit that sandwich into the VCR!

5. Men of Few Words
Many men are guilty of this communication faux pas.  They are not interested in small talk and have little patience for questions so they give vague, one word answers that provide no real meaning to the person asking the question.  Many times men don’t have the ability to multitask like women do so, when they are asked a question while driving or at work, we get the following exchange:

Wife: I’m trying to plan for the company picnic because I need to know how much of the baby’s things to take with us.  When is it?

Husband:  Saturday.

Wife: This Saturday?

Husband: Yes.

Wife: What time is the picnic?

Husband: 2pm.

Wife: When will it end?

Husband: I dunno.

Wife: Well, how long do you want to stay?

Husband: A few hours.

Wife: So when do we need to leave in order to get there at two?  I need to know when to get the kids ready.

Husband: 1pm.

Women often need more than a one word answer in order to plan what she will need to pack for an event-especially if she has small children.  A long car ride, means she needs to pack some games or books.  A two hour stay vs. a 4 hour stay means more diapers and change of clothes.  Men don’t think about these details and have often been known to run out of the house for a few hours with nary a diaper nor a bottle for baby!

6. The Story Teller
Story Tellers are fun to listen to because they tend to be extroverts who enjoy telling a great tale!  They are entertaining, energetic and animated.  However, this guy never lets anyone get a word in edgewise.  It can be frustrating for their audience if they intend to do anything other than listen.

Story Teller: “Oh that reminds me of the time I went on a missions trip behind the Iron Curtain!”  We were smuggling Bibles in when we almost got caught by the secret police and …(and on he goes for about 25 minutes when he finally has to take a breath…)

Audience: “Wow that sounds so exciting! How did you ever get out?” (Big mistake! You just spurred him on for another 25 minutes!)

Story Teller: “You’ll never believe it!  There we were, on the street being questioned by the secret police, when all of a sudden…”  (And the saga continues for another 35 minutes holding his audience spell bound and wanting to contribute to the conversation which, believe it or not, originally began on the topic of painting your house!)

Audience: “I have always wanted to travel…”

Story Teller: “Oh I have been to 6 countries either on vacation or a missions trip and it is just some of the most…”  (He could go on for days like this!)

The one advantage of Story Tellers is that by the end of the night, you could have a wonderful education about Russia!  Unfortunately for them, they won’t know a thing about you.  This is a shame since others can teach us so much by sharing their experiences-even if they haven’t experienced almost being arrested behind the Iron Curtain!  Most people enjoy talking about themselves and sharing their ideas so the Story Teller’s habit of always hogging the spotlight leaves his audience feeling left out and underappreciated.

If you ask anyone what they think a good conversationalist is, they may tell you that it is someone who speaks well or someone who tells a good story.  They may think that a good conversationalist is someone who is an exciting speaker.  However, if you watch people, you will notice that the people they appreciate talking to are the ones who listen to them.  The best complement I have ever received was from a woman who said I was the best conversationalist she had ever spoken with.  She said she thoroughly enjoyed speaking with me and it must be because I had a degree in Speech Communication.  The truth was that she taught me so much that day because I spent most of the time listening to her speak.  I must have spoken about four sentences in the time we were together and they were all requests for her to elaborate more on her life!

If you want to be a good conversationalist, you need to show that you truly care about others.  Listen to them.  Let them share their experiences and ideas.  Give them the spotlight.  If you are talking to an introverted or shy person, draw them out by creating an opportunity for them to shine.  Ask them about things they know.  Ask them about their job, hobby or children. You might end up learning something!  Thank them for what they have taught you!  Build them up!  A great conversationalist listens most of the time and directs the conversation with his questions!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication.  Her Christian and humorous approach to communication skills has made her a sought after speaker.  JoJo’s articles have appeared in various homeschool magazines and websites such as Dr. Laura.com.  Her Say What You Mean curricula is endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and her eBook, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business, has been used by direct sales leaders and small business owners alike.  For more information, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, have deeper relationships, longer marriages, are more successful, make more money and are generally happier than their less articulate counterparts. The Lord felt communication skills so important for our lives that He mentions communication skills literally HUNDREDS of times in His Word.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

Most people think communication is an elective, a speech class, a skill only lawyers and politicians need, something you learn by osmosis just by talking.  If I were to tell you that math was an elective, you’d think I was nutz.  Math is a core subject that everyone needs, right?  Yes, but how many times did the Lord mention math in the Bible? He saw fit to mention communication skills hundreds of times!

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech?  According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

So when we are having a conversation, we are really making a series of mini speeches in response to another’s mini speeches.  When we are disciplining our children, we are making a mini speech.  And when we are trying to convince our neighbor to be more careful of our begonias, are we not making a speech?

Talking doesn’t make you an excellent communicator any more than painting makes you Thomas Kinkaid!    They say practice makes perfect, but while at my son’s golf class yesterday, the instructor reminded me that it isn’t practice that makes perfect.  Practice makes permanent.  Perfect practice makes perfect!

How good is Tiger Woods?  He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

If you aren’t getting proper instruction, you aren’t learning excellence!  Nobody questions that Tiger Woods needs a coach though he is considered the best golfer in the world right now!  So why is that we hear folks say, “Oh I took a speech course once back in high school”?  Do you think Tiger took one golf lesson back in high school?

If your education, your relationships, your career, your family, your children’s future, your financial security and your happiness all depend upon the effectiveness of your communication, why aren’t you studying it?  Why aren’t you teaching your children? Isn’t it time to start?

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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