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Continuing with Sounds of Silence Week here on Communication FUNdamentals. Monday, I talked about when we need to keep silent. Today I’m going to talk about how we can actually accomplish this. It’s harder than you might think. Here are some tips to help you keep silent when you are tempted to open yer kisser…
* Imagine yourself in your listener’s place
* Ask yourself if you have all the facts
* Reflect back to see if there is any way you might be mistaken about someone’s intent to hurt you
* Is what you’re about to say godly?
* Is what you’re about to say constructive?
* Is what you’re about to say helpful?…to someone other than you?
* Is there anything you could be misinterpreting?
* Are you jumping to conclusions?
* Is the only purpose for your communication to show off?
* Will you be hurting anyone if you speak?
Silence is Golden. The sounds of silence are precious and can save a relationship. The act of silence isn’t as difficult to achieve as you might think if you just use some of these tips.
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You’re right, JoJo. It’s not that hard if you THINK before you speak. That’s a big problem. We all just know we have the perfect thing to say and we blurt it out without thinking. But what’s perfect for you and what’s perfect for the other person may not be the same thing. People take offense very easily these days. We don’t listen well either. If you really listen to the other person in your conversation, you will hear clues to what you should and shouldn’t say.
Very good point, Carla. If we listen more than we speak, we’ll actually become more effective communicators.
Jumping to conclusions is a tough one for me. I need to be thicker skinned and try not to do that! Listening is a skill – that’s for sure. It is the toughest thing in the world to be silent and let the other person talk.
We all fall victim to some of these at some point. That’s why I post them. It’s much easier to resist the urge to speak when we shouldn’t if we have these tips in mind.
Thanks for the tips on keeping the kisser closed.
You’re welcome, Becky Joie.