Communication Articles

Are We Just Too Broke to Pay Attention?

October 9, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Are We Just Too Broke to Pay Attention?

The economy is down and, it appears, we are all just too broke to pay attention. In today’s microwave society people are always looking for ways to save time…but are we actually spending more time because of miscommunication? You know that old phrase, “Do it right the first time and you won’t have to spend time doing it again.” I think our nanoseconds would be better spent if we heeded this time honored time saver!

I don’t know about you, but I have had a tough time communicating lately. Folks are busy and they are trying to find short cuts for whatever they do. I can’t count the number of times I have sent an email to someone and had them reply asking for the very information that was still included in the original email which was attached underneath their reply! Ever seen one of these?

From: Sally
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:49 PM
To: Mary
Subject: Re: Coffee on Friday?

Hi Mary,
What day and time?

Love,
Sally

>From: Mary
>Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:47 PM
>To: Sally
>Subject: Coffee on Friday?
>
>Dear Sally,
>How about coming over on Friday at 9am for some coffee?
>
>Love,
>Mary

Not only did Sally take extra time to send a reply to Mary asking for the very information Mary already gave her, but she has communicated to Mary that her email wasn’t worth her time to read properly in the first place. Additionally, it communicates to Mary that Sally doesn’t think Mary’s time is as valuable as hers. She is now requesting that Mary spend more of her time to answer a question she has already answered. Furthermore, it takes even more of Sally’s time to have to read through another one of Mary’s emails.

Ever hear your kids, with their face in the refrigerator, say something like this:

“Mom! Where’s the milk?”

What ensues is a time wasting discussion about the fact that they have looked and you know it’s in there. I usually end up going to the refrigerator and pointing directly in front of their nose which breaks the code illuminating the BIG WHITE PLASTIC CONTAINER.

“You have to look when you’re looking!”

Why was it necessary to demystify the existence of the milk I often wonder? Is it invisible to children? Sometimes what they are looking for isn’t right in front of their nose but just behind the milk. It never occurs to them to move the milk to look behind it. Oh no! That would take far too many nanoseconds! What results is a twenty minute “discussion” where they yell up from downstairs and you yell down from upstairs each arguing the merits of his case until you decide it would take far less time to run downstairs and point out the almost empty glass of chocolate milk!

Life’s busy in the 21st Century, but if we all take just a few moments to really read or listen to the other party, we might actually save ourselves a great deal of time and frustration. Read those emails carefully before you reply. Actively listen to the speaker before you respond. Move that milk carton just a smidge! You just might answer your own question…before you spend endless nanoseconds to ask it!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Listening, pay attention, speech communication, Subscribe Here!, too broke

Six Ways to be a Bad Conversationalist

October 8, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Six Ways to be a Bad Conversationalist
by JoJo Tabares

Everyone can talk, but not everyone is a good conversationalist. If you haven’t had much experience or training, there are some conversation mistakes that can make you someone nobody wants to talk to.

1. Mr. Prove-It:
Mr. Prove-It will make you prove the validity of everything that comes out of your mouth. Having a conversation with him is like swimming upstream. Their favorite expression is “Really?!”. They take all the fun out of a conversation! Often they can be found leaning back in their chair, stroking their chin with a look of superiority on their face. Mr. Prove-It leaves no stone unturned. This is an extreme example but Mr. Prove-It can be more subtle:

Mr. Prove-It: So when are you leaving on your trip to Hawaii?

Mr. Trapped-Rat: About 3am. We got 50% off, but it has some strings.

Mr. Prove-It: 50% off? Really?!

Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes. We were so excited …

Mr. Prove-It: That doesn’t sound right!

Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes. It’s a promotion for employees where I work. We are very excited because this is the first time we have ever been to Hawaii…

Mr. Prove-It: Why would they do that? Gas prices are skyrocketing right now?

Conversation with Mr. Prove-It is a chore. When Mr. Trapped-Rat sees Mr. Prove-It coming, he’ll be inclined to run the other direction!

2. I. M. Oblivious:
Ida Mae Oblivious is also frustrating. She never seems to pay attention to what the other person is saying. She is usually quick to point out what others should be doing, but never quite absorbs the information she hears. Listening is not her forte. She’s a talker!

Ida Mae: We are all going out party hopping after the Prom. Come along with us.

H. Earme: No thank you. I have to get home.

Ida Mae: Oh everyone is going to go! Come on!

H. Earme: No thank you. I am not really a party hopper. lol

Ida Mae: Well, then it’s time you started!

H. Earme: No, really. I’m just going to go home. I have work tomorrow.

Ida Mae: Oh, come on! One late night won’t kill ya!

H. Earme: No really. I have to work tomorrow.

Ida Mae: So, you call in sick tomorrow! Come on!

Ida Mae just doesn’t give up. When she’s not trying to talk someone into doing something they don’t want, she is busy sharing ideas with people who couldn’t care less! People like to make their own decisions. They usually don’t appreciate Ida Mae’s input and usually try to avoid conversations where they know she will have an opinion!

3. Me MyselfandI
This conversationalist is so consumed with herself that she never comments on what others have said. She’s the one in the group who is always talking about her own experiences. “Me” never asks questions of anyone else and so she knows very little about anyone. She is of no help to anyone because she never answers questions unless it is with a story about “when it happened to me…”.

Nobody OfConsequence: I am a little nervous about all these medical tests. I am praying nothing is really wrong.

Ms MyselfandI: Six years ago I had a bunch of tests. I was so nervous that I had to have my dh ….

Nobody ofConsequence: I would appreciate your prayers that everything goes ok.

Ms. MyselfandI: Oh I remember how everyone prayed for me. Do you know that I had people praying all over the world?

Ms. MyselfandI listens “with her answer running” as they say. She doesn’t really listen, but instead, lay in wait for her chance to speak. She is instead, rehearsing what she will say in silence until it is, again, her turn in the spotlight. She doesn’t relate her experiences in order to relate with others or give them comfort. She does so to be the center of attention and her motives are almost always transparent.

4. The Reporter
The Reporter doesn’t really know how to communicate well and she knows it. She tries hard to fit herself and her lack of self-esteem into a conversation, but she just can’t think of anything original to say so she uses fillers. She states the obvious and often feels uneasy with silence.

The Reporter: Oh! Look at that! Tommy is just so cute. He fell down. Oh how sweet he is. Oh look at him wobble! Awww…look at him smile. What a smile he has! So cute. Just so cute. Look at him trying to fit that sandwich into the VCR!

5. Men of Few Words
Many men are guilty of this communication faux pas. They are not interested in small talk and have little patience for questions so they give vague, one word answers that provide no real meaning to the person asking the question. Many times men don’t have the ability to multitask like women do so, when they are asked a question while driving or at work, we get the following exchange:

Wife: I’m trying to plan for the company picnic because I need to know how much of the baby’s things to take with us. When is it?

Husband: Saturday.

Wife: This Saturday?

Husband: Yes.

Wife: What time is the picnic?

Husband: 2pm.

Wife: When will it end?

Husband: I dunno.

Wife: Well, how long do you want to stay?

Husband: A few hours.

Wife: So when do we need to leave in order to get there at two? I need to know when to get the kids ready.

Husband: 1pm.

Women often need more than a one word answer in order to plan what she will need to pack for an event-especially if she has small children. A long car ride, means she needs to pack some games or books. A two hour stay vs. a 4 hour stay means more diapers and change of clothes. Men don’t think about these details and have often been known to run out of the house for a few hours with nary a diaper nor a bottle for baby!

6. The Story Teller
Story Tellers are fun to listen to because they tend to be extroverts who enjoy telling a great tale! They are entertaining, energetic and animated. However, this guy never lets anyone get a word in edgewise. It can be frustrating for their audience if they intend to do anything other than listen.

Story Teller: “Oh that reminds me of the time I went on a missions trip behind the Iron Curtain!” We were smuggling Bibles in when we almost got caught by the secret police and …(and on he goes for about 25 minutes when he finally has to take a breath…)

Audience: “Wow that sounds so exciting! How did you ever get out?” (Big mistake! You just spurred him on for another 25 minutes!)

Story Teller: “You’ll never believe it! There we were, on the street being questioned by the secret police, when all of a sudden…” (And the saga continues for another 35 minutes holding his audience spell bound and wanting to contribute to the conversation which, believe it or not, originally began on the topic of painting your house!)

Audience: “I have always wanted to travel…”

Story Teller: “Oh I have been to 6 countries either on vacation or a missions trip and it is just some of the most…” (He could go on for days like this!)

The one advantage of Story Tellers is that by the end of the night, you could have a wonderful education about Russia! Unfortunately for them, they won’t know a thing about you. This is a shame since others can teach us so much by sharing their experiences-even if they haven’t experienced almost being arrested behind the Iron Curtain! Most people enjoy talking about themselves and sharing their ideas so the Story Teller’s habit of always hogging the spotlight leaves his audience feeling left out and underappreciated.

If you ask anyone what they think a good conversationalist is, they may tell you that it is someone who speaks well or someone who tells a good story. They may think that a good conversationalist is someone who is an exciting speaker. However, if you watch people, you will notice that the people they appreciate talking to are the ones who listen to them. The best complement I have ever received was from a woman who said I was the best conversationalist she had ever spoken with. She said she thoroughly enjoyed speaking with me and it must be because I had a degree in Speech Communication. The truth was that she taught me so much that day because I spent most of the time listening to her speak. I must have spoken about four sentences in the time we were together and they were all requests for her to elaborate more on her life!

If you want to be a good conversationalist, you need to show that you truly care about others. Listen to them. Let them share their experiences and ideas. Give them the spotlight. If you are talking to an introverted or shy person, draw them out by creating an opportunity for them to shine. Ask them about things they know. Ask them about their job, hobby or children. You might end up learning something! Thank them for what they have taught you! Build them up! A great conversationalist listens most of the time and directs the conversation with his questions!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication. Her Christian and humorous approach to communication skills has made her a sought after speaker. JoJo’s articles have appeared in various homeschool magazines and websites such as Dr. Laura.com. Her Say What You Mean curricula is endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and her eBook, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business, has been used by direct sales leaders and small business owners alike. For more information, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, conversationalist, reporter, story teller, Subscribe Here!

ABCs of Effective Communication

October 7, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

ABCs of Effective Communication
By: JoJo Tabares

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. -Proverbs 25:11

B e careful of your thoughts; they could become words at any moment. -Ira Gassen

C ourage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Winston Churchill

D iscussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance. -Robert Quillen

E ven if you learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?-Clarence Darrow

F oolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain. -Unknown

G ood communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

H enny Youngman once said, “Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.”

It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool then to open it and resolve all doubt. -Abraham Lincoln

J ames Humes said “The art of communication is the language of leadership.”

K eep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them. -Unknown

L et your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. -Colossians 4:6

M ost conversations are merely monologues delivered in the presence of a witness. -Margaret Millar

N ever argue wih a fool. Someone watching might not be able to tell the difference. -Unknown

O ne of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. -Will Durant

P lato said “Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”

Q uestion the source and you will discern any bias. -JoJo Tabares

R emember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. -Benjamin Franklin

S ay what you mean and mean what you say. -George S. Patton

T he right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. -Hubert Humphrey

U nderstanding your audience is key to persuading them.- JoJo Tabares

Verbocity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. -Dan Quayle

W ell timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. -Martin Farquahar Tupper

X tremes communicate less persuasively than does accuracy. -JoJo Tabares

Y ou can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere. -Lee Iacocca

Z ero equals one speaking plus no one listening. -JoJo Tabares

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: ABCs, Benjamin Franklin, communication skills, Durant, effective communication, George S. Patton, Hubert Humphrey, Millar, Proverbs

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

October 6, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, have deeper relationships, longer marriages, are more successful, make more money and are generally happier than their less articulate counterparts. The Lord felt communication skills so important for our lives that He mentions communication skills literally HUNDREDS of times in His Word.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

Most people think communication is an elective, a speech class, a skill only lawyers and politicians need, something you learn by osmosis just by talking. If I were to tell you that math was an elective, you’d think I was nutz. Math is a core subject that everyone needs, right? Yes, but how many times did the Lord mention math in the Bible? He saw fit to mention communication skills hundreds of times!

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech? According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

So when we are having a conversation, we are really making a series of mini speeches in response to another’s mini speeches. When we are disciplining our children, we are making a mini speech. And when we are trying to convince our neighbor to be more careful of our begonias, are we not making a speech?

Talking doesn’t make you an excellent communicator any more than painting makes you Thomas Kinkaid! They say practice makes perfect, but while at my son’s golf class yesterday, the instructor reminded me that it isn’t practice that makes perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect!

How good is Tiger Woods? He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

If you aren’t getting proper instruction, you aren’t learning excellence! Nobody questions that Tiger Woods needs a coach though he is considered the best golfer in the world right now! So why is that we hear folks say, “Oh I took a speech course once back in high school”? Do you think Tiger took one golf lesson back in high school?

If your education, your relationships, your career, your family, your children’s future, your financial security and your happiness all depend upon the effectiveness of your communication, why aren’t you studying it? Why aren’t you teaching your children? Isn’t it time to start?

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: business, children, communication skills, education, employees, friends, happiness, job, marriage, relatives, Subscribe Here!, top ten reasons

If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?

October 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

This week on The Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network, I’m asking the question, “If communication is so important, why isn’t everyone studying it?” In my seminars I ask how many think communication skills are important for every day life. Just about everyone in the audience will raise their hand. However, when I ask my next question, I get puzzled looks: How many of you have studied communication skills or are teaching them to your children?

“The wise in heart accepts commands, but the chattering fool comes to ruin.” Proverbs 10:8

Usually about three hands go up. One says she took a speech class once, another says she’ll have her son take a speech class when he’s a senior in high school and another who says she already taught her daughter a writing class. The rest say they don’t intend to make a speech in their lifetime so they don’t need communication skills. But they just said they were important in every day life! Why the disconnect? Because though most people think communication skills are important, they ONLY think of communication as speech or writing! However, this erroneous assumption can hold them back or damage their relationships in life. Let me explain…

1. Taking one speech class doesn’t make one an expert speech maker any more than taking one golf lesson makes one Tiger Woods.

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

2. I know it sounds simplistic, but speech and writing courses teach speech and writing. They do not teach the specific skills needed in order to interview well, convince your boss you are worthy of a promotion, help dissuade your neighbor’s son from trampling your begonias, work out an issue in your marriage, discipline your 15 year old, effectively resolve a conflict with a co worker or family member, lead a group of people for a church project or share/defend your faith. Each of these require very different communication skills.

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” 1Peter 3:15

3. Though many have a fear of speaking in public (but are comfortable one on one), speaking to hundreds of people is not the same as speaking to one. I know many great speech makers who are too intimidating one on one to be effective.

4. Being comfortable speaking is not the same as being effective. I’m comfortable playing basket ball, but as someone who’s 5′ nuthin’, I’m not proficient at it!

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

5. Practice doesn’t make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect! Many people tell me that they are comfortable with social communication because they have been doing it all their lives. However, some of those comfortable communicators don’t realize that they are communicating in a way that hurts people’s feelings or intimidates others or makes others uncomfortable or doesn’t persuade others to follow where they lead. I’ve been a student of communication for over 25 years and each year I make it a point to learn even MORE!

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6

87% of what you and I do all day long is communication related. The Bible has HUNDREDS of scriptures that tell us of the importance of mastering these skills and gives us some tips for doing so as well as some consequences if we don’t! Studies show that effective communicators are better students, have deeper relationships, better marriages, more successful careers and make more money than their less articulate counterparts. In fact, studies show that effective communicators are even HAPPIER!

“-So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Issaiah 55:11

I’ll be discussing this topic in depth on Thursday’s podcast and I invite you to join me so please mark it down on your calendar to attend live! (Thursdays 8am PST /11am EST) We’ll be discussing the top reasons given for not studying communication skills including fear and boredom and the solution for each issue!

All this week I’ll be sharing some of my articles on communication skills. I invite you to come back each day and share these with your friends and family.

Communication is probably THE most important skill in life to master! Until then, I leave you with this question, “If communication skills are so important, why aren’t YOU studying them?

Visit Art of Eloquence’s Online Catalog today!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, Communication Comedy Network, communication skills, conflict, podcast, Speech, Subscribe Here!, Talk Talk Show, writing

How Important is Communication in your every day life?

October 1, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

I’ve asked this very question at countless seminars I’ve given. Most people say that communication is very important in their lives. However, when I ask if anyone ever took a communication class or studied communication skills or taught their children effective communication, I get one of three answers:

1. Oh, I’m not a politician or a lawyer so I don’t really need to make speeches.

But I thought you just said you thought communication skills were important for your every day life? Most people think of communication skills as speech or debate and equate these skills with things at which only lawyers and politicians need to be proficient. They suddenly forget why they answered yes and immediately go to the speech and debate issue, do not pass go, do not collect $200!

Communication is so much more than speech making or debate. You communicate when you talk to your husband or your children. You are communicating when you ask for a raise. You are communicating when you wave or smile to your neighbor and when you don’t quite know how to tell him not to trample your begonias. You are communicating when you are trying to get through to your Aunt who doesn’t want to see that movie. You are communcating when you talk to your child’s ballet teacher and when you are trying to get across to your doctor that why you don’t want your son to get vaccinated.

Communication is involved in 87% of what we do all day long and most of that isn’t formal speech. It’s a conversation and if we aren’t careful it can be an argument that ends a dear friendship.

2. I took a speech class once in college.

Taking a speech class once does not allow you to master the art of speech making nor does it afford you training in any other type of communication. I know some wonderful speech makers and debaters that are horrid one on one! They can wax poetic on the stage or in front of a small crowd but intimidate the begeebers outta friends and family when making small talk at family gatherings.

3. Oh, I’ll have my kids take a speech communication class when they are in high school.

Did you know that communication skills are best learned when kids are young, even as young as preschool? Did you also know that by the time many children are in 5th or 6th grade, society has trained them to be afraid of social interaction?

Many children become socially shy or intimidated in social situations if they have not had enough training prior. It becomes a vicious cycle where they are too shy to enter social situations and too shy to admit they need help and then too shy to put themselves in situations that could improve their social communication skills!

I know this because that was me when I was a kid! It took me years to get over it, but it doesn’t have to take you or your children years! By making learning communication skills fun, Art of Eloquence has helped thousands of children and adults become more comfortable in social situations and more effective communicators overall!

Here’s what one mom had to say:

“I highly recommend the Say What You Mean Speech Course for teens. I have two homeschooled sons, ages 13 and 15, using it this year and it is their first experience with a “speech” curriculum. Mrs. Tabares, through her curricula, has given my sons the tools, opportunity and feedback necessary to become confident and competent in their speaking, whether a one-on-one impromptu conversation or a prepared speech in a group setting. My sons love speech and have grown and learned so much and that says it all!” -Joann Oxenham

Our communication skill affects 87% of our lives. I think that’s why the Lord put HUNDREDS of scriptures in the Bible that instruct us and tell us how vital these skills are! Though there are some scriptures that mention numbers, I can’t find one scripture that talks about how important it is to study math. Yet most people don’t think twice about giving math importance in their children’s studies. Don’t you think communication should at least be of equal importance?

Art of Eloquence can help by making it fun and easy to learn this often intimidating and complicated subject. We have studies for all ages and for various communication situations. Check out our online catalog for some fun ways you and your family can learn these vital skills!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: debate, lawyer, politician, scriptures, speech communication, speeches

5 Political Reasons to Learn Effective Communication Skills

September 3, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

I’m often asked why communication skills are so important. I hear so many say things like: “After all, with cell phones, email and the internet we are the most connected society who ever lived.”; “The only people who really need to learn effective communication are lawyers and politicians.”; “Most people know what I mean.” and “So I’m not Ronald Reagan!”

Statistics show that 87% of what you and I do all day long is communication related. You communicate when you talk to friends, when you discipline your kids, when you share ideas at work, when you share your faith. I hear some of you out there though thinking, “What’s so important? So I don’t get along that well with Aunt Millie!” While studies show that effective communicators are more successful in their careers and in their relationships, I want to talk to you today about another vital reason to learn effective communication skills. 5 political reasons to be exact.

1. If you are a conservative…

The current administration is implementing liberal plans for the country. If you feel this is wrong, you will want to voice your opposition.

2. If you are a Christian…

There are certain policies you might object to on religious grounds. Let your voice be heard.

3. If you are Pro Life…

Here is one of those religious issues. If you are Pro Life, you’ll want to share your opinions with the powers that be.

4. If you are against the current health care bill…

You will want to join the thousands of voices sharing their views against the proposed bill.

5. If you are concerned about the direction the economy is going…

You should speak up for what you believe in so your thoughts and needs will be heard.

Christian conservatives are waking up to the fact that we cannot remain silent any longer. We need to speak up and voice our side, but we cannot just throw rhetoric and ideas around and hope they stick. We need to be thoughtful, respectful, gracious and articulate. And it isn’t enough that we are armed with the truth; we need to be armed with the skill to share our ideas in a manner that befits an articulate servant of Christ.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com and hosting her weekly podcast, Communication Comedy Network. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Christian, Conservative, economy, health care, politics, Pro Life, speak out, speak up, speech communication

Free tips on conflict resolution

August 22, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

My friend, Penny Raine, is having Favorite Friday Freebies on her blog. She is posting all the free and nearly free items she can find. Too cool, huh? She’s asked others to help her find freebies.

I have been offering freebies, gifts and special offers to my newsletter subscribers. These are all things that are ONLY available for my subscribers. Well, this month I have started to give away a series of articles on conflict. I have been giving away tips you can use to avoid conflicts or to resolve conflicts with family, friends and business acquaintances. These articles will eventually be compiled and turned into a book on conflict, but you can gain all the benefits of my experience right now by simply subscribing to my newsletter, “What’s New at Art of Eloquence?” The newsletter is free and we will NEVER sell or give away your email address!

In addition to this exclusive series on conflict, you will receive other freebies, special gifts and exclusive offers ONLY for our subscribers. Click here to subscribe!

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News, Communication Articles Tagged With: Communication tips, free newsletter, freebies, gifts, Penney Raine, Subscribe Here!, tips

Do you know what Mopar is or are you dumb like me?

August 11, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

One of the biggest communication mistakes we make is assuming that others have the same frame of reference for topics, terms and ideas as we do. This has always been a recipe for disastrous miscommunication, but in the Information Age where we communicate with so many different people from different cultures and backgrounds, it has become an even larger issue.

First I’d like to give you a little history behind my asking the question, “Do you know what Mopar is?” Last Wednesday evening, my daughter, my husband and I were discussing how cars had changed over the years. My first car, Iggy (a 1974 Datsun 710 with the pea green paint peeling off its nearly bald head) had no power steering. It was tough to drive especially for a 5′ nuthin’ young girl with three or four muscles TOPS! From there my husband launched into a rabbit trail of car anecdotes. We were both traveling happily along Memory Lane until he mentioned Mopar.

I asked him what that was. He was shocked and a little indignant that I, a seemingly intelligent woman of 47, wouldn’t know what Mopar was! My daughter, our 19 year old walking encyclopedia, admitted she didn’t know what it was either. What followed was a conversation where we felt accused of gross ignorance of epic proportion.

I thought myself a fairly intelligent soul who had a good working knowledge of most major issues, even if they were related to a field in which I was not an expert. My husband is a car guy. Maybe most guys are. I was never into cars-much to my husband’s dismay. Oh, I know the major makes and models, but I have no conception of how they work or what parts you can get for them. Further, I have no interest in the thousands of various car magazines he has collected over the last 40 years.

I was pretty sure that very few people who were NOT car connoisseurs would know what Mopar was. I thought about taking an informal poll. Perhaps this will serve as such. If you are not a car enthusiast, do you know what Mopar is? No fair if your husband or son is a car nut and they talk about it 24/7!

Now those of you who, like me, had no idea what Mopar is and now simply MUST know, I looked up the term Mopar on the web. I found a Wikipedia entry that defined Mopar (short for MOtor PARts) as the automobile parts and service arm of Chrysler used as performance parts since the 1920’s. It also talked about how Car Enthusiasts had begun to use the word to mean any Chrysler built vehicle.

Did you note my not-so-subtle, italicized hint there? It says Car Enthusiasts. I presume from this statement that most Regular Folk, might not know what Mopar was. After all, it’s not like Mopar is written on the outside of each car the way Chrysler is.

I wondered how many times we, as communicators, have made others feel dumb for not knowing something or being familiar with a term. How many times have our assumptions made for hurt feelings and miscommunication?

Have you ever had a conversation with a retired News Junkie? I’ll bet there were times when he called or emailed you to share breaking news of which you were yet uninformed because you were, oh how shall I put this… WORKING! Ever hear, “What are you living under a rock or something?”

Accusing friends and family of being an ignorant fool isn’t the best way to win friends and influence conversations. I find it much more gratifying to help someone come to understand something than to verbally smack them for their lack of knowledge. The Lord has many references to how we should speak with one another in the Bible. I’ve never come across one that advised us to berate others less knowledgeable. The scriptures I find are all references to grace and edification such as these:

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

God does speak of offense, but it’s in quite a different context: “An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication mistakes, miscommunication, Mopar, offense

3 Important Lessons for Family

August 4, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

I wasn’t aware, but I guess, family reunions are big this time of year. I just spent an amazing weekend with my sister and her family. Our families hadn’t seen each other in a year since they helped us move to Arizona from California. I learned three vitally important lessons from being so far away from most of my family this past year.

First, relationships cannot flourish without communication. You cannot develop, strengthen or grow a relationship without communicating with each other. You cannot let too much time go by without picking up the phone, typing out an email or writing a letter before you feel disconnected from your loved ones.

Second, relationships are built much easier, faster and deeper when that communication takes place in person. I never realized how much I missed this year by not seeing my nephew grow or having time to listen to my niece’s sense of humor and intelligent banter.

Third, relationships thrive more when the quality of communication is high even if the quantity is low. Even when we lived in California only a little over an hour away, we had precious little time to spend. Most of our get-togethers were for birthdays or some established EVENT where most of the time was spent serving and eating and cleaning up. In between there was some amount of discussion but it was often about logistics and major events. Very little time was spent making memories.

This past weekend, we found time to be silly together. We found time to play and we found time to make memories. The communication was meaningful but also more relaxed and fun because this get-together was just for fun with no agenda but to connect.

Take time to connect with your family at those reunions. The temptation is to talk about the major things in your life so you will be caught up with each other. I submit that those major things can be discussed in an email or a short phone conversation. I ask you to take the time at your family reunions to really connect with your family. Share the little things, the funny things, the silly things. That’s what makes a memory and that’s what you will both remember for a lifetime!

Check out Art of Eloquence.com for eStudies that will help your family communicate more effectively!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, Family, relationships, Subscribe Here!

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