Ask JoJo: Should parents address slang?

FIMM computerThere is a culture today where these young people use their own language and spellings such as ‘dis is mahh beautiful baby girl’ and ‘sumpin Is wrong wit dis Pictures’ (I actually took these from a couple of FB  pages of folks I know) and then there is the texting culture with abbreviated words. I know groups use their own slang to communicate with each other, but I wonder if there is a need to be concerned about  spillover into regular communication which could be cause problems… ie: job interviews, applications, etc. and how should a parent address this issue, if at all?”  -Joan

Studies show that slang and text speak has already been creeping its way into the workplace and school.  High school teachers and college professors complain that this slang or shorthand has been seen in reports.  Many employers have also complained that these practices have been rearing their ugly heads in emails to coworkers and also to customers.

I believe it was GoDaddy who had to send a formal apology to their customers when a cryptic email was sent out to their customers causing mass confusion as well as a less than professional appearance.  It cost the company quite a bit of money to rectify, in fact.

Parents should address the issue of appropriate communication with their children to let them know that the informal slang and texting shortcuts are not appropriate for school or the workplace.  They should address the consequences of these practices and how they may result in a poor grade in school and not being considered for a job or a promotion.  I suggest parents take a look at our study, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business as well as any of our high school/teen studies to help educate children on this vital issue.  Their career, happiness and relationships all rest on their ability to communicate effectively for each unique situation in which they find themselves.

 

NOTE: Don’t forget to submit your communication questions to jojo@artofeloquence.com for my monthly Ask JoJo section of my blog.  I’ll pick one question per month to answer right here on the blog!  You can ask anything related to communication skills from a tip on how not to be nervous making a speech to what games your kids can play that will help them hone their communication skills and even if your website or blog is clearly written!

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Ask JoJo: Facebook Communication

JoJo SeptIt’s that time of the month for our brand new feature, Ask JoJo, where my readers email in their communication questions and I answer them.  Our first communication question comes from Christina who asks this question about Facebook communication:

I occasionally comment on things I disagree with (not always, just now and than), sometimes to discuss it, and sometimes just to state my opinion. But, people either try to debate me (rather than just discussing or talking about it) or insult me. Today, I posted a comment merely asking for proof for something and when no one gave me any, and I merely stated that my opinion hadn’t changed because of it. Someone claimed I wasn’t convinced, and was a waste of time to talk to:’because I’m home-schooled and live in a different realm.

How would you respond to this and what do you think is the best way to try and avoid these situations altogether? Beside, never commenting or avoiding discussions and debates, altogether.

I try to handle these things, with grace and humility, as well as patience, but I obviously must do something wrong, otherwise why would I always get such negativity? I understand, that it would be hard to pinpoint, since you haven’t witnessed the conversations, I’ve with these people. But I figure since you know a lot about communication and have more experience, you could give some pointers or tips. As you have probably experienced or witnessed this sort thing, at some point. :)

This is a fabulous question!  While I don’t know the full details of this particular situation, I can help you with some general insights and tips.

Background:

I don’t see anything you asked that was wrong. Some people are just looking for a fight or to disagree.  People tend to be bolder and less interested in grace on the internet because they don’t have to see the faces of those they challenge, insult or hurt.  In addition, sometimes people take asking for the source of a story as an assault on them and they feel guilty for not checking it out. Instead of owning up to being a bit careless when posting a story, they feel challenged and so they lash out.

How I would respond to being in a different realm because of being homeschooled:

What school you attended is not at issue.  The issue raised was one of credibility and validity of the story.  It’s unwise to accept information at face value and, without knowing the source, information must be questioned.  You might put it this way:

I don’t understand what the school I attended has to do with my asking for verification of information.  I’m sure you would agree that it isn’t wise to accept everything at face value. I was only asking where I might find the source of the story before accepting it as truth.  So many things on the internet are either incorrect or even a pure hoax.

How you might be able to avoid this issue in the future:

Sometimes the words we choose to use can make all the difference.  In the future, you might choose to replace the word proof with source or say, “can you tell me where you found this info?”  It’s a matter of semantics, but presents a softer message.

Something else you can do is to look the title or subject line up on Snopes.com and post the link.  It would be hard for anyone to argue with that.

I pray this has helped you and my other readers who may have encountered similar situations.

NOTE: Don’t forget to submit your communication questions to jojo@artofeloquence.com for my monthly Ask JoJo section of my blog.  I’ll pick one question per month to answer right here on the blog!  You can ask anything related to communication skills from a tip on how not to be nervous making a speech to what games your kids can play that will help them hone their communication skills and even if your website or blog is clearly written!

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How to Keep Your Resolutions

Well, it’s here again, the last day of 2012.  Happy New Year to all my blog readers!  We pray 2013 brings you many blessings.

Do you make New Year’s Resolutions and, if so, have you kept them?  Studies show that most people who make resolutions, don’t keep them.  However, did you know that sharing your goals with others can actually help you keep them?  Why?  Because reaching a goal is difficult.

Most of the incredible things men and women have done throughout history have been accomplished because of the help and support of friends or family.  Even more than that, communicating your goals to your friends, neighbors and family will make it public and increase the chances that you will keep your word to stop smoking, lose weight or make extra income.

Now if you are thinking that all your friends and family will be encouraging and supportive and that’s how you’ll keep your resolutions, you’d be partially correct.   Many will encourage you to keep going, but some may even secretly hope you fail.  Some don’t really want to keep their resolutions and they don’t want to be alone in this. lol

However, telling Uncle Harold that you will finally clean out your garage after 12 years of saying so will prompt him to keep bringing it up at family functions all year and you’ll find yourself picking through years of old junk you couldn’t bring yourself to part with in the past just to save face!  It can be a fabulous motivator if you are willing to take a little abuse.

What kinds of things would you like to accomplish in 2013?  Is one of them to learn to communicate with your friends, family, spouse, children, or co workers?  Don’t forget that we can help you with that!  Make sure you are subscribed to our blog and newsletter.  They will give you insight and tips as well as keep you posted on upcoming webinars and communication studies!

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Would you spend $997 for an unexplained product?

As you can see by the categories I’ve selected, this post covers a lot of ground, but it’s nothing if not a Friday Funny.  You may have noticed that, the more I get my dander up, the more sarcastic I get and nothing does it as well as a Communication Pet Peeve! Here’s what happened.

My dh gets a bunch of emails from various Marketing Gurus each day.  Every so often they invite him to a free seminar where they give away a small amount of free information about marketing your business and then ask you to spend anywhere from $374 to $1997 for thier eBook, software product or consulting services.

We’ve been to so many of these the formula is obvious. It begins with 15 minutes of the host telling you why the speaker guru is so great, followed by 15 minutes of the Speaker Guru telling you how wonderful his life now as compared when he was a homeless, wifeless convenience store operator.  The next 15 minutes is where you pay attention because this is where the Speaker Guru tells you about his eBook, software or consulting services designed to make you drool.  The final 15 minutes is devoted to the “pitch.”  This is where they tell you the product is really worth $900 bagillion, but today ONLY, you can get it for a pittance ($374-$1997), but you have to act now because they will only sell (insert smallish number here) total at that incredibly low price!

By the way, the entire seminar is done in sketchy video or with a professional looking slide show screen where the slides consist of a white screen and the EXACT words being spoken by the Speaker Guru.  Sometimes you’re in for a treat as they do show you the product or pictures of insanely happy people who are now so rich they could buy Brazil with their pocket change.  Normally, the Speaker Guru does an atrocious job of speaking, stammers over his words and can’t spell the words on his slide show.

So last week we settled in for what we thought would be a predictable pitch as we awaited any tidbits of info that might be helpful and to determine if his product might be something worth our time only to find a goldmine of humor and an idea that will help YOU become better communicators!

The hour seminar was EXACTLY on schedule except for a few rather obvious attempts to mask the schedule executed by very poor actors.  The seminar began exactly on the hour with the host telling us that the Speaker Guru was so incredibly busy he had a last minute consulting call he had to attend so the host proceeded to take this opportunity to tell us how wonderful the Speaker Guru is.  In between he “let it slip” that there were 1000 people on the call and over 6000 waiting for one of us to get disconnected so we better close down all other computer programs in order to avoid that terrible tragedy.

At exactly 15 minutes in, the Speaker Guru, suddenly got free and began to tell us how benevolent he is to be sharing this info with us and how far he’d come in life due to this incredible system.  At exactly 30 minutes past the hour, the Speaker Guru asked for a “volunteer” from the audience that wouldn’t mind making a bunch of money for nothing tonight.   The slide show turned from the title that had been on the screen for 15 minutes to a “live picture of his brand new ClickBank account” that, after exactly 15 minutes had been refreshed to reveal that he had made $647.16!  Amazing, huh?

At exactly 45 minutes into the seminar we learned how much he wanted for this software, but what we didn’t know is this:

1. What did it do exactly?

2. What did the “volunteer” from the studio audience actually sell to make $647.16?

3. Why would selling to more than 20 people (at $997 each) dilute the system for everyone and end the world as we know it?

4. If there really were 18 people who purchased this software before the seminar ended at exactly on the next hour…

Needless to say we didn’t fork over $997 for something we didn’t understand.  Would you?  But it did spark a new passion inside me to provide even more in depth information to my customers during my seminars.  I’ll be announcing my new seminars very soon, but be assured that they will NOT follow this tired model.  I think this seminar spent about three minutes telling us about the software and what it could do for his customers and about 57 minutes telling us how wonderful, generous, caring and rich he was!  Actually, I think I will follow this model.  I’m going to spend no more than three minutes giving a bit of background to the topic and 57 minutes sharing in-depth, valuable tips for solving that particular communication issue for my customers.

Have you ever been to one of these marketing guru seminars?  What was your experience?

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Living Water

What does it really mean to thirst and what is the deeper significance of Living Water as spoken of in the Bible?

Last week, my friend Cindy posted about Living Water on her blog.  It got me thinking about the deeper meaning of God’s Word.  A while back my daughter sent me some audio files of Ray Vander Laan who had spent time in Israel learning about the culture of the Jewish people.  He talks about how not knowing the culture of the Jewish people and the times the Bible was written in can dull our understanding of the deeper meanings of God’s Word, for example, Living Water.

My parents have lived here in the ARIDzona desert for about 12 years.  Though I had visited them a few times a year during that time, until I moved here three years ago, I really didn’t fully understand the devastation the sun can cause your body and what that felt like.  It’s just very different from anywhere I’ve ever lived and that’s saying a lot because I’ve lived in a lot of places.  Ray Vander Laan specifically mentions Arizona as he discusses the strength of the heat and sun in the desert of Israel.

Living in the desert of ARIDzona, I know all too well the meaning of living water.  I’m normally dehydrated, but living here, I have felt heat exhaustion many times and it is very much like living without God.  Without enough fluids in your body, you become confused, and tired.  Too much dehydration and you are unable to walk without help.  I’ve passed out several times due to the heat because I didn’t have enough fluids. The confusion and symptoms make you choose the wrong things which make your condition worse.  You don’t feel like drinking and so you drink even less.  Living without God or without listening for His guidance, is much the same.  You get tired and weak.  Confused as to what is good for you, you can choose the wrong things which will cause you to fall deeper into your troubles.  If you analyze the words God uses to describe things, you realize just how carefully He chose them.  The symbolism is rich, if you look for it.

Part of communication is understanding the context and the background.  We may understand being thirsty, but we cannot understand the depths to which real thirst can reach if we don’t understand the desert.  The same is true for many other concepts the Bible speaks of.  I’m going to try to explore and report on more of these in the future.  If you have any that you’d like to learn more about, please post them  here.  If you’d like to be a guest author here explaining one of these concepts, please contact me jojo@artofeloquence.com   I’d love to share the deeper meaning of God’s Word here on the blog.

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It’s National Meaning of “is” Day!

On this day in 1998, former President Clinton dabbled in semantics during the Grand Jury hearings to clarify his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. He said, “It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”  Well, someone made this day one of those national silly holidays.  What we are supposed to do on this day, I don’t know, but it got me thinking about how difficult it is to describe certain words.  How do we define the word is?

Think about it? You can’t even define the word without using the word itself.  Is is a state of being.  It is a form of the verb to be.  According to Merriam Webster, is is defined as, “present 3d singular of be, dialect present 1st & 2nd singular of be,  dialect present plural of be”

To be or not to be, that IS the question!  How would you define the word is?  Try it!  What other words are difficult to define?  Share!

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FBI Headquarters Wants ME!

I end our first week of Effective Communication Month with a real life spam funny.  This is an actual email I received last week.  Notice how “realistic” it looks?  ROFL  This one’s pretty funny and, even though I’ve never had any encounters with the FBI, I can tell this is not something I need to respond to.  What’s wrong with this picture?  How can you tell this spammer isn’t really the FBI?  Here are a few big red flags:

1. The subject line says, “Email from FBI.”

I’ve never received an email from the FBI, but I don’t think my first contact with the FBI would be an email that said, “Email from FBI.”

2. The From field says “FBI Headquarters” which has an email address of  Robert Mueller @ Mueller.com.

I don’t know much about the FBI, but I seriously doubt that an agent would use his personal email address to correspond with someone he doesn’t know.  Doesn’t that sort of…I don’t know…”Blow his cover?”  In addition, it appears that Agent Mueller has his own business.  At least I don’t think Mueller.com is another AOL or Gmail.  I guess the FBI doesn’t pay what it used to.

3.  The time stamp says it arrived in my inbox at 10:42 pm.

I guess Agent Mueller was working late at FBI Headquarters that night.  Or was he working on his business and just forgot that he didn’t send me this attachment?

4. It is addressed to infors @fbi.gov.

It appears Agent Mueller has sent this attachment to a bunch of us.  If he had just sent it to me, wouldn’t it be addressed to jojo @artofeloquence.com?  For that matter, doesn’t it look like Agent Mueller got things a bit backwards?  Shouldn’t it be FROM infors @fbi.gov and TO Robert Mueller?  Come to think of it, shouldn’t it be from INFO @fbi.gov?  Was this a misspelling?  Typo?  Or did he mean ENFORCE @fbi.gov?  Maybe FBI agents can’t spell.

5. Doesn’t the text message appear a bit…sparse?

I’d be willing to bet that the FBI doesn’t often use flowery language and probably isn’t real big on detailed explanations to private citizens, but “Email from FBI?”  Shouldn’t it say something more…I don’t know…descriptive?  “Meet me behind the old shack at noon.  And come alone!”  LOL

6. The PDF attachment title also appears a bit GENERIC.

Oh, wait!  I know.  Of course!  It’s purposely nondescript in order to hide its true identity!  “document1.pdf” is code for something like, “Blueprints of the First National Bank of Nigeria.”

Wait!  It’s ALL in code!  That’s why it looks so ridiculous!  It’s all just to throw the others off the track.  I’d better open that attachment and see what it’s all about.  The FBI NEEDS me!  My country’s counting on me!  It’s probably some top secret G14 Classified mission!

Oh…Um…just forget everything I posted.  Uh…I wonder if I can get that memory flashy thingie from Men In Black.

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Using Humor on Purpose

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Later on, I’ll share about the humor (and problems) that comes from ineffective communication, but for now Communication FUNdamentals Week continues with the humor that used on purpose.  Humor can be used to creatively express yourself in order to entertain and amuse.  I posted this poem I wrote on the Art of Eloquence Facebook fan page last week and it was met with a goodly amount of comments from folks who “felt my pain.”
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Exerciser’s Lament 

The scale says more; my clothes, they tore.
I’m often winded at the store.
Though I’m not sure and it’s a bore
Now exercise is my new chore.
My legs are sore; I’m on the floor,
Endorphins are just pure folk lore.
Just shut the door; I want to snore
And with my bones I am at war.
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If you’re going to complain, you should do it with a little style.

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Last week was also Limerick Week and in order to celebrate, I posted this little limerick authored by yours truly.
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On Celebrating Limerick Day

May 12th is Limerick Day
I’m exceedingly happy to say
Because it’s such fun
To rhyme and to pun
I ask you to try it your way!

Care to try your hand?

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Sounds of Silence Week

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Last week I shared about speaking up to praise and support and lift others up.  This week, I’d like to share a bit on just the opposite: when to keep silent.  Today I’m going to talk about when it’s best to keep silent and on Wednesday, I’ll talk about just how we can accomplish this.

The Lord tells us that there is a time to speak up and a time to keep silent: A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” -Ecclesiastes 3:7  When are those times?

* When you should be listening

* When you might hurt someone’s feelings

* When you might say something hurtful

* When you don’t have all the facts

* When you haven’t thought things through

* When you don’t really have anything to say

* When you are angry

* When you are hurt

* When you’re POSITIVE he meant that in the meanest possible way!

Remember the saying I posted a long while back, “You have the right to remain silent. Otherwise your words will be misinterpreted and used against you!”   When are the times you’ve wished someone would have chosen to remain silent?  Can you recall a time when you should have?  Are you uncomfortable with pauses in a conversation?

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What are you thankful for?

This video is from Christian comics, The Skit Guys. What are you thankful for?

In addition, I have an article I wrote on The Power of Thank You to read through on this Thanksgiving Week!  Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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