“There is no distinctly native American criminal class…save Congress.” -Mark Twain

“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.” -Mark Twain

“No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.” -Mark Twain

“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself”. -Mark Twain

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.” -Mark Twain

But as Will Rogers said, “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.“

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