Decluttering Your Communication

In the same way that decluttering your house simplifies your life, decluttering your communication simplifies your message.  While cleaning out your closets makes room for the important things you need to store, cleaning out unnecessary words and phrases allows more focus on your most important points and infuses it with power.

What is the clutter of communication?  Weasel Words.  Weasel Words are a dead giveaway that you are nervous or unsure of yourself.  They devalue your leadership, curtail your effectiveness and destroy your credibility.  Weasel Words come in three forms.

1.  Unnecessary Words
When a person is nervious or unsure of what to say, they fill their conversation with unnecessary words like: “I’m gonna go ahead and,”  “kind of/kinda” and “sort of/sorta.”   This is done in an attempt to soften their language, appear less demanding or endear themselves to their listeners.  What it really does is zap the power and energy out of the speakers integrity, leadership ability and conviction.

I kind of wanted to talk to you about that.”  You kind of wanted to or you did want to?  ‘Cuz if you only kind of wanted to, I’ve got more important things to do right now.

2. Filler Words
Another nervous habit is to fill their conversation with nonwords that take up space and allow them time or the ability to keep control of the conversation until they can think of what else they wanted to say.  These non words include: uh, er, like and ya know.

I…uh…kind of…er…wanted to…like, ya know…talk to you…um…about that.”   That’s tellin’ ’em!

3. Vague Words and Phrases
The last type of Weasel Words are those that couch what you say such that nobody can accuse you of being wrong (or even saying much of anything).  If you’re afraid of being taken to the mat over a statistic, a quote or a truth, you will probably use words and phrases like: somewhat, most of the time, in most respects, I’ve heard, it’s been said, people/some say, it’s generally known, or it’s among the best.  The idea is to be as noncomittal as possible in order to cover all your statistical bases.

I think your child has somewhat of a problem with the truth.”  You mean he lies?

Filling your conversation with unnecessary and vague words and phrases doesn’t soften your message, it confuses it.  Adding filler words and vague phrases may allow you time to think, but it also allows your audience time to become frustrated.  Using Weasel Words doesn’t endear you to your audience, it only prolongs the time they have to form a weak opinion of you and the point you were trying to make.

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Weasel Words

Weasel Words are a dead give away that you are nervous or not sure of yourself.  Weasel Words and phrases exhaust you and suck all the power out of your communication.  They zap your leadership, curtail your effectiveness and destroy your credibility.  So what are Weasel Words?

What’s wrong with this picture?

FRED: Ok people, settle down now.  Shhhh…   Ok. I’m gonna go ahead and ask that you all quiet down so we can get some work done here.  I know you are all anxious about our trip, but I’m gonna ask that you all focus now.  Rehearsals start at 6pm and I’d like to ask that each one of you respects, you know, everyone’s time…well, my time…  I’m gonna go ahead and start rehearsals kind of right at 6pm, so…   Ok I’m gonna start now, people.  Uh…folks, we really need to get going if we’re gonna, ya know, get done in time tonight.  Ok now, settle down.  Thank you.  Thanks so much.  Thanks Lou, Annie…  Ok now, I’m gonna go ahead and start now with, um, with Amazing Grace.  Let’s uh, let’s all start from the second measure.”

Weasel Words are extra verbiage used to stall for time or as an attempt to make a request seem more palatable.  What can you tell about Fred?  Fred is simply not coming across as a good leader.  He has no control of the choir and he doesn’t appear to want it.  He doesn’t come across as someone folks would follow nor does he appear to be someone who can handle the demands of leadership.  Fred appears to have a problem asking for what he wants and is uncomfortable in leadership. But what if Fred had said it this way?

FRED: “Thanks for coming everyone. It’s six o’clock so let’s get started.  Let’s take Amazing Grace  from the second measure.”

Do you see how this sounds much more commanding and clear?  And Fred isn’t tired from working so hard to get everyone quiet.  Further, Fred’s mouth isn’t tired from formulating all those extra words.  Best of all, Fred is actually much more effective as a communicator and a leader.

Get those Weasel Words (and phrases) out of your vocabulary so you can speak softly and carry a commanding choir conductor’s stick.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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