storm

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 2

November 28, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

So far this Thanksgiving month, we’ve talked about why it’s often difficult to Praise God in the Storm, what God Says about Being Thankful, What Being Thankful Doesn’t Mean, some things that will help us to remember in trying to be thankful. I’ve given you some practical advice with tips on exactly HOW to praise God in the storm. On Monday, I shared what happens to our communication when we are thankful and today I have a few more consequences of being thankful.

1. Others find us more approachable

The old saying, “laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone” is quite true. Unless you’re so delirious with joy that you seem a Stepford Wife, the more joyous and thankful you are, the more approachable you seem to others.

Nobody wants to approach a Gloomy Gus and ask him for directions. If you are filled with the joy of the Lord, you are apt to radiate that to others who will find you a blessing in their lives because they feel they can ask you for help.

2. Others aren’t intimidated by us or afraid of us or uncomfortable with us

When we aren’t grumpy or frustrated, we open ourselves not only for others to ask us for help so that we may be a blessing to them, but we allow others to feel comfortable enough with us to spend time talking to us. How can we hope to share the Gospel or our ideas if we make others so uncomfortable that they don’t want to be around us?

3. We show and communicate God’s love

Another advantage of being joyous is that we have an opportunity to share and demonstrate God’s love. It’s difficult to communicate God’s love for His children if we are grumpy, frustrated and angry. Being filled with joy and thankfulness allows us to share that joy and thankfulness with others, even if we don’t utter a word.

Well, that concludes this month’s series of articles on being thankful and praising God in the storm although I will be back on Friday with some reflections on thankfulness.

I pray this series was a blessing to you especially if you are experiencing struggles in your life at present. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this topic, especially if this series of articles has helped you or someone you know to be able to cope better during a struggle. I’d love to hear what made a difference for you.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, God, intimidated, love, praise, storm, thankful

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 1

November 26, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

All this Thanksgiving month, I’ve been sharing about how to Praise God in the Storm. I’ve talked about what God Says about Being Thankful, and What Being Thankful Doesn’t Mean. I’ve talked about how sometimes things that friends and family communicate to us can make our struggles more difficult and about things we can communicate to ourselves that can help us during struggles like some things that will help us to remember.

I’d never seen any practical advice with tips on exactly HOW to praise God in the storm and be thankful so I posted two articles on things we can do that will help us to be thankful and praise Him even during our most difficult struggles.

Finishing up this series, I’d like to share a bit about what happens to our communication when we are thankful.

1. Communication is easier

When we are happy, our communication is happy and easy. We are less curt with people and more grace-filled.

2. Open to good things rather than looking for the bad

People who are more joyous tend to look for the good in people which leads to not taking offense to things that aren’t meant as offenses and even those that are. This makes for easier conflict resolutions.

3. Communication becomes angry and hurtful when we aren’t thankful

The more thankful we are, the less angry we are. Anger leads to lashing out and often to hurting others. The more joyous and thankful we are, the less likely we are to be hurtful even if we don’t mean to be.

4. Become more Christ-like when we are thankful

Our communication is much more Christ-like when we are thankful and full of joy than when we are angry, frustrated and negative.

So the more joyous and thankful we can become, the more we communicate and spread that to others, but there are even more benefits to being thankful that comes out in our communication. I’ll share those on Wednesday.

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HOW to praise God in the storm part 2

November 21, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

On Monday I shared some things we can do that will help us become thankful so that we can praise God in the midst of the storms of our lives. Here are some more things that have helped me over the years and I pray they help you as well.

1. Remember that joy and happiness are two different things

Keep things in proper perspective. Happiness, as defined by Merriam Webster as good fortune or prosperity, a state of well-being and contentment, joy or a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Joy is listed as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires, delight, the expression or exhibition of such emotion, gaiety, a state of happiness or felicity, bliss, a source or cause of delight.

So happiness is dependent upon external circumstances, whereas joy exists in spite of whatever is going on around us and is a result of what’s happening on the inside. You can still have joy even though you are not happy because you can have a hope because you are in God’s will and will be rewarded in heaven even if you aren’t here on earth. You can be joyous in your strength or your endurance or your obedience even if you are unhappy about your health or your finances or your relationships.

2.Do things that bring you joy

Look at pretty pictures of God’s world and remember how everything is delicately balanced for us and given for us to use. It’s hard to look at he beauty of God’s world and not feel some amount of joy.

Listen to uplifting music and sing along or sing harmony. I am a wanna be musician. I used to write songs and I was a voice major in college before I switched to Speech Communication. I can’t help but feel better when I hear beautiful music and sing along. It usually makes me feel better to sing along to praise and worship music sometimes the same song over and over again. Here’s one of my favorites:

Call a friend. Sometimes you need a real, living person you can talk things over with. Just talking through our feelings can help us feel a bit better because we have expressed them and someone cared enough to listen. Many times we aren’t looking for a solution because we already know what our options are, but sometimes we may be surprised as our friend’s ability to help us find one! Even if nothing gets resolved, you will probably find yourself feeling better just because you were able to share your feelings with a good and trusted friend.

3.Read encouraging devotionals

Not devotionals on being thankful, but ones that encourage you. BibleGateway has a devotionals you can subscribe to that I have found helpful: Encouragement for Today, Devotions for Women and Devotions for Moms. I don’t recommend the one called Standing Strong in the Storm because it’s mostly about people who have endured religious persecution. While that might be important to read and inspiring at other times, I find that they are not something we can relate to when we are in the middle of stress. Unless your struggle is religious persecution on a grand scale, I find I can’t relate to them and they make me feel bad for even being upset about financial or health or relationship issues which doesn’t help me feel any better about my situation.

4. Help someone else

I know it sounds a bit backwards, but it can often feel good to be the solution for someone else’s problem. Sometimes we are almost paralyzed by our fear or stuck in our sadness that we feel a complete lack of control over our lives. It can feel empowering or at least uplifting to be the solution to something, no matter how small the issue is. As they used to say back when I was a little girl, “try it; you’ll like it.”

You may not be able to become happy about your circumstances, but you can do things that bring you some joy. This joy will help us see the blessings God has put in our lives and this will, eventually, allow us to thank God and even praise him in the storm.

Now that we have a few things we can do that will help us become more joyous, next week I will share about what happens to us when we are thankful. What happens to our feelings and what happens to our communication.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, God, happiness, joy, joyous, praise, prosperity, storm, thankful

HOW to praise God in the storm part 1

November 19, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

Most Christians have heard many times how we are to praise God in the storm, but what has always frustrated me is that nobody has ever told us how to do that. It’s hard to just begin feeling thankful when you’re in the midst of a financial mess or a loved one’s death. Merely understanding that you should do something doesn’t help you do it.

All devotionals on this topic will tell you to read the Bible and pray. This is obvious since we are trying to get closer to God and further away from our pain or struggle. This is also something we should do when we are not struggling. But just reading the Bible when you are struggling may not help your attitude turn to gratitude and you may not even know how to pray for a situation, especially if it has been a long and confusing one.

There are many devotionals on thankfulness that talk about this so I’m not going to spend much time on it since you’ve probably read enough of them to quote them verbatim. I’ll just say that it’s important to continue to pray and read the scriptures even when we are at our wit’s end and even when we are no longer able to envision that God would help us because, the moment we no longer seek God, we begin to drift away from Him. “Trouble and anguish have taken hold on me: yet thy commandments are my delights.” -Psalm 119:143

So how do we begin to feel thankful? Well, last week I prepared our hearts a bit by sharing with you what we should remember. But that often isn’t enough to bring us through from frustration and despair. After many years upon this earth I have found some things that have helped me to become more thankful and bring me to the point where I can praise God during the storms of my life.

1. Start small and build

Thank Him for whatever blessings you can think of, even if you have a hard time coming up with things you are thankful for and even if you don’t feel very thankful when you write it or say it. There is an old saying, “act as if.” If you begin to thank God for the blessings, no matter how small, in your life, you will begin to see more and feel it more as you go.

Somehow my attitude changes when I concentrate on the little blessings. I remember an old saying my relatives had when I was a child, “thank God for small favors.” It has become a popular secular saying that has come to mean something quite different so I don’t suggest you actually say this to yourself. I think it must have started out meaning that we should thank God for the small blessings in our lives to help us see the blessings He has given us. Unfortunately, what it has come to mean is a snarky commentary that God only grants us small favors.

See how your attitude changes when you say, “thank God for small favors” instead of “thank you, Lord, for these little blessings?” One suggests that’s all we expect the Lord to give us and the other reminds us that these are just the beginnings of blessings God wants to shower upon us. That one little communication change changes everything.

Think back to all the times when you had just missed a disaster. How do you think that miracle happened? Envision what God must have been doing to protect you and then feel the love that lead God to that act. I remember a time when we drove from California to ARIDzona to visit my folks. On the way there (which is here now), we heard the brakes begin to screech. All the men at the event thought it wasn’t a major issue so we didn’t drive the car during our visit and headed home where we planned to have them repaired. There was a great deal of traffic that holiday on the way back and got progressively worse on that six hour drive home. We were able to make it all the way home and, as we coasted into the garage, the brakes completely failed leaving us unharmed and safely in our garage. Thank you, Jesus, for all the disasters we avoided that night alone!

Think back to all the times when NOTHING bad happened. What disaster might have occurred? Thank Him for those as well. How many times were you thinking of going to ABC when something changed your mind and you narrowly avoided a known disaster? My husband once decided not to go to work one day because the only route there (70 miles one way) was covered in snow and notorious for closure. Later we found that many of the people who traveled that road were stuck down the hill unable to get home for a day or two. And what about all the other situations we have no idea we could have found ourselves in?

2. Blessings for worst not happening

In the midst of terrible pain it’s often hard to see what could be worse and, to be honest, we don’t often care. We just know where we are now is bad. However, looking at the bright side can truly make a person thankful because, believe it or not, there are so many situations where we could be worse off.

Food prices up? Praise God that you have the money to buy them. Health bad? Praise God that you have the time to rest. Sick? As you pray for healing be thankful it isn’t fatal. Serious illness? Be thankful that there is still hope. And if a loved one has passed away, praise God he is no longer suffering and is with Jesus in heaven.

Now these things may sound easy to some, but they are not at all easy to do when you are in the middle of a struggle especially when that struggle has already taken a toll on you for many years. However, if you start small, are consistent and build, your faith will increase, your sorrow will lift and your joy will return even if you aren’t happy about your circumstances. (I’ll talk more about the difference between joy and happiness in my next article so stay tuned.)

In the midst of despair, sadness and being overwhelmed with struggle, we may find it difficult to just pick ourselves up by our Christian bootstraps and just “be happy.” However, these little things have helped me get just one step closer to being thankful and have reminded me that God is there with me and He’s working on my behalf even if I can’t feel Him through all that life throws at me. I pray they are blessings to you and you can begin to see how you can be thankful and praise God during your struggles as well.

Next time, I’ll be back with some more tips that will help us to be thankful so we may praise God in the storms of our lives.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Bible, devotional, God, gratitude, praise, Prayer, storm, struggles, Thankfulness

What being thankful DOESN’T mean

November 12, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

One of the frustrating things about going through struggles is when you hear other Christians say things like:

“The only reason you are struggling is because you don’t have enough faith.”

“Your problems are because of your sin.”

“If you would only pray harder, God would answer your prayer.”

These are not only unhelpful, but they are often also unbiblical. Comments like these don’t allow the one struggling the freedom to share their feelings and find a solution because they feel condemned or accused.

Paul suffered from many health issues and was never healed during his lifetime here on earth. Did Paul have enough faith in God? If God didn’t heal Paul, it might be that God chooses not to heal a fellow believer. Suggesting that if they only had enough faith, they’d be cured of cancer or have no more financial problems simply isn’t biblical.

Telling someone who is struggling with something that they simply need to have more faith only increases their suffering. Assuming they buy this bill of goods, they will try valiantly to have more faith in God. What happens if God answers their prayer with “no” or “wait?” How much more frustrated will they feel then? Assuming they don’t believe they could possibly have more faith, they may simply give up trying or trusting God.

Although some problems we encounter are due to our own sinful nature, other problems come about due to no fault of our own. Yet I’ve heard people tell a grieving mother that her child has Leukemia because of her sin! How’s that for piling guilt on top of grief?

Being thankful and joyful in the Lord such that we praise God in the storm doesn’t mean that we dismiss our suffering or that we cannot feel sad or angry or lost or overwhelmed. It doesn’t mean that we are complaining if we express our feelings and it doesn’t mean that we should live our lives trying to overcome our struggles by telling ourselves we aren’t suffering or shouldn’t feel badly or don’t have the right to complain. It doesn’t mean we spend our time pretending it didn’t happen or doesn’t matter.

Being thankful and praising God in the storm doesn’t usually come naturally. Our natural reaction is to be anxious and afraid, to worry and to get frustrated. It takes practice to learn to praise God in the storm. It takes time and patience.

Job’s friends didn’t understand either, most likely because they had never experienced such dispair. Sometimes what our friends and relatives communicate to us makes our struggles that much more difficult.

While we know we should trust God, we also know how difficult that can be. Don’t make that harder on those suffering by telling them that all they need is more faith or to stop sinning. Don’t make it harder on yourself by telling yourself. On Wednesday, I’m going to share some things we need to remember before we can learn to praise God in the storm and be thankful and see our blessings. In addition, next week I’ll share some tips that have helped me learn how to be joyful in the midst of sorrow or struggle.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: God, Praising God in the Storm, storm, Thankfulness

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 2

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 1

HOW to praise God in the storm part 2

HOW to praise God in the storm part 1

What being thankful DOESN’T mean

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