Funny Ads and Signs

Communication skills are so much more than making speeches.  They are vital for every day life.  Those in advertising know just how important a single word can be in making an impression on their client’s potential customers.  However, I don’t think the authors of these little gems had a clue how it would come across…  Take a look:

Interesting Ads and Signs

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
(For those times when you want to show you’re “all ears”!)

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(That’s comforting!)

Save regularly in our bank. You’ll never reget it.
(I think I’ll regret that.)

This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.
(It’s always nice to know something was trashed by the best!)

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
(Thanks for being up front about it.)

Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last
(Because you wouldn’t want to wait til the last minute.)

Stock up and save. Limit: one
(But will I have room to store all that?)

We build bodies that last a lifetime
(So do I.  It’s just that my idea of a lifetime might be significantly limited by the amount of junk food I eat.)

See ladies blouses. 50% Off!
(Things are made so skimpy these days!)

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!
(As I was saying…)

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
(How convenient!)

For sale: A quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
(Quite versatile!)

20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.
(I think I need a translator for that one!)

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
(Good because I have to hold the lever down manually to burn my toast at home.)

Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
(I don’t know…if I can’t find him, how could I give it to him?)

Auto Repair Service. Free pickup and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
(That’s just what my neighbor said just after she sued her mechanic.)

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
(Now that’s getting a little personal, don’t you think?)

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale
(My kids keep telling me that Christmas should come more than once a year.)

And now, the Superstore – unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
(Thanks for saving me the trip!)

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.
(Would that adjustment result in less tension or more?)

Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.
(Interesting marketing concept: Customers are either insulted or have no use for your product.)

Original quotes from ArcaMax.com with my added commentary

Perhaps they should have taken a few courses from Art of Eloquence.com?

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How Important is Communication in your every day life?

I’ve asked this very question at countless seminars I’ve given.  Most people say that communication is very important in their lives.  However, when I ask if anyone ever took a communication class or studied communication skills or taught their children effective communication, I get one of three answers:

1. Oh, I’m not a politician or a lawyer so I don’t really need to make speeches.

But I thought you just said you thought communication skills were important for your every day life?  Most people think of communication skills as speech or debate and equate these skills with things at which only lawyers and politicians need to be proficient.   They suddenly forget why they answered yes and immediately go to the speech and debate issue, do not pass go, do not collect $200!

Communication is so much more than speech making or debate.  You communicate when you talk to your husband or your children. You are communicating when you ask for a raise.  You are communicating when you wave or smile to your neighbor and when you don’t quite know how to tell him not to trample your begonias.  You are communicating when you are trying to get through to your Aunt who doesn’t want to see that movie.  You are communcating when you talk to your child’s ballet teacher and when you are trying to get across to your doctor that why you don’t want your son to get vaccinated.

Communication is involved in 87% of what we do all day long and most of that isn’t formal speech.  It’s a conversation and if we aren’t careful it can be an argument that ends a dear friendship.

2. I took a speech class once in college.

Taking a speech class once does not allow you to master the art of speech making nor does it afford you training in any other type of communication.  I know some wonderful speech makers and debaters that are horrid one on one!  They can wax poetic on the stage or in front of a small crowd but intimidate the begeebers outta friends and family when making small talk at family gatherings.

3. Oh, I’ll have my kids take a speech communication class when they are in high school.

Did you know that communication skills are best learned when kids are young, even as young as preschool?  Did you also know that by the time many children are in 5th or 6th grade, society has trained them to be afraid of social interaction?

Many children become socially shy or intimidated in social situations if they have not had enough training prior.  It becomes a vicious cycle where they are too shy to enter social situations and too shy to admit they need help and then too shy to put themselves in situations that could improve their social communication skills!

I know this because that was me when I was a kid!  It took me years to get over it, but it doesn’t have to take you or your children years!  By making learning communication skills fun, Art of Eloquence has helped thousands of children and adults become more comfortable in social situations and more effective communicators overall!

Here’s what one mom had to say:

“I highly recommend the Say What You Mean Speech Course for teens. I have two homeschooled sons, ages 13 and 15, using it this year and it is their first experience with a “speech” curriculum. Mrs. Tabares, through her curricula, has given my sons the tools, opportunity and feedback necessary to become confident and competent in their speaking, whether a one-on-one impromptu conversation or a prepared speech in a group setting. My sons love speech and have grown and learned so much and that says it all!” -Joann Oxenham

Our communication skill affects 87% of our lives. I think that’s why the Lord put HUNDREDS of scriptures in the Bible that instruct us and tell us how vital these skills are!  Though there are some scriptures that mention numbers, I can’t find one scripture that talks about how important it is to study math.  Yet most people don’t think twice about giving math importance in their children’s studies.  Don’t you think communication should at least be of equal importance?

Art of Eloquence can help by making it fun and easy to learn this often intimidating and complicated subject.  We have studies for all ages and for various communication situations.  Check out our online catalog for some fun ways you and your family can learn these vital skills!

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