Funny Quotes Quiz

Can you match the funny communication quote with its author?  Post your answers in a comment below.

1. “The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”

2. “Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.”

3. “The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

4. “Write with a little pizzazz or you’ll just have a blahg.” 

5. “Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

6. “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

7. “It’s okay to have nothing to say…unless you’re talking.”

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Plato

Winston Churchill

George Jessel

Mark Twain

Author Unknown

Marty Feldman

JoJoism#191

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How the Rich and Famous Spell Communication

Here is the third in my series on C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.

 

Communication is the key to education, understanding and peace.” James Bryce

Of all of our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language.” -Walt Disney

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.” -Bill Cosby

Music is a very personal and emotional form of communication.” -Trevor Dunn

Unlike then, the mail stream of today has diminished by such things as e-mails and faxes and cell phones and text messages, largely electronic means of communication that replace mail.” -John M. McHugh

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.” Unknown

If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help.” -John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Communication is all anyone ever gets paid for ultimately…and if you cannot effectively communicate, you will pay…not get paid!” Doug Firebaugh

A leader must look and act the part if he is going to have the success needed for a proper command.”-General George Washington to his commanders

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” Mark Twain

If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” -Siddhārtha Gautama

One of them, for example, which will probably haunt me more than any other is the problem of communication.” -Georges Simenon

Now it is evident that a little insight into the customs of every people is necessary to insure a kindly communication; this, joined with patience and kindness, will seldom fail with the natives of the interior.” -Charles Sturt

 

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How JoJoisms Spell Communication

Recently, I wrote an article for my Examiner column, “How Do the Scriptures Spell Communication?” where I shared several  scriptures that began with the letters of the word communication.  It was an enlightening look  at some of the most important lessons on communication that the Bible teaches.

It occurred to me that I could do the same thing with the various communication quotes by mere humans including myself.  So this week, I set out to find both JoJoisms and other communication quotes that fit the bill.  Today I’m going to share with you how I spell communication.  On Wednesday, I’ll share some other quotes that hold great lessons for us.

You may notice that some of these are new.  I am afraid I have been remiss in creating JoJoisms that started with O,U, C and N so I had to write them especially for this article.  In fact, I decided to create them all as Visual JoJoisms as well so I’d have something for you to look at while reading.

C aution: Studying communication skills will result in closer relationships and higher professional success.  Side effects include self-esteem, confidence, personal happiness, longer marriages and winning sould for Christ. -JoJoism#133

O pening your mouth may be a right, but gaining an open ear is a privilege.  -JoJoism#242

M y mouth punneth over. -JoJoism#107

M odern technology now allows us the opportunity to see what we say and hear what we see. -JoJoism#204

U nbelievable power resides just under your nose and above your chin. -JoJoism#243

N ow is NOT the time for indecision…or is it? -JoJoism#132

I ‘ve noticed that the English language does, indeed, have gender words like they do in Spanish. For example, when a man gets grey hair, they call him DISTINGUISHED. The feminine form of that word is…OLD. -JoJoism#28

C ancerous words are the cause of many a relationship illness. -JoJoism#244

A rguments are like screaming in a deaf man’s ear.  He doesn’t hear you; he just knows you’re mad. -JoJoism#21

T he most important communication isn’t the speech you’ll give to a crowd. It’s the conversations you’ll share with friends & family. -JoJoism#35

I ’ve also noticed that if your dh is distinguished, chances are very good… -JoJoism#29 (see JoJoism#28)

O ptimum communication requires ultimate proficiency. -JoJoism#245

N othing worth hearing isn’t worth the time to say it well. -JoJoism#246

 

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Birthday Bash: 4pm-Gilded Gears Jewelry

From Gilded Gears Jewelry

Our goal is to create fun, wearable Clockwork-style Victorian jewelry, at an affordable price. Each piece of jewelry we make is unique and handcrafted, often incorporating vintage watches, clock parts, and re-purposed jewelry. This pendant measures approximately 3″ long by 1 1/2″ across, including the bale and rose charm. It comes on your choice of an 18″ satin necklace (shown in the picture, comes in either white or black), or adjustable 19-22″ brown suede necklace. (Value: $25.00)

x

XXX

To win this prize, you will need to post a comment to this blog post answering this question:  Name two of your favorite communication quotes (not scriptures) listed on our Scriptures and Quotes page!  Add any quotes about communication that we might not have on our page for an extra chance to win this prize!

We’ll be picking a winner from among the correct answers and contacting you via email so make sure you leave your email address on your comment post.

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for another chance to win a Birthday Bash prize from Art of Eloquence!  And you might want to subscribe to the blog RSS feed so you don’t miss a contest today!

(DISCLAIMER: Communication FUNdamentals, our blog, normally only posts three times a week (MWF) but today we are having a new post/contest each half hour of the Birthday Bash.)

Congratulations to our winner: kelsey keyer!

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Birthday Bash: 1:30pm-Elaine Cooper

Elaine Cooper will be sharing on the Art of Eloquence Facebook fan page this Birthday Bash half hour.  Here is what she is offering as a prize for this half hour’s contest:

The Promise of Deer Run  America’s war for freedom from England has been over for seven years, but the wounds of that conflict still haunt the minds and hearts of the residents of Deer Run. Young American veteran Nathaniel Stearns has withdrawn to a life of isolation as he awaits his father who never returned from the war. A near-tragedy in the woods brings him face-to-face with nineteen-year-old Sarah Thomsen, someone he had long admired but he assumed had eyes for another. This chance encounter opens a crack into the door of his heart as mutual affection quickly blooms. But slander and lies soon mar the budding romance, rendering both Sarah and Nathaniel wounded and untrusting as their faith in both their God and each other is shattered. Set in 1790, this book continues the story of the Thomsen and Lowe families as they struggle to survive in the aftermath of the war that birthed the United States. The Promise of Deer Run is Book Two in the Deer Run Saga.

To win this prize, you will need to post a comment to this blog post answering this question:  Name two of your favorite Bible quotes on communication listed on our Quotes and Scriptures page!

We’ll be picking a winner from among the correct answers and contacting you via email so make sure you leave your email address on your comment post.

Don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for another chance to win a Birthday Bash prize from Art of Eloquence!  And you might want to subscribe to the blog RSS feed so you don’t miss a contest today!

(DISCLAIMER: Communication FUNdamentals, our blog, normally only posts three times a week (MWF) but today we are having a new post/contest each half hour of the Birthday Bash.)

Congratulations to our winner: Katie!

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Thanksgiving Fun

I pray you had a blessed Thanksgiving this year.  Today is Friday Funnies on Communication FUNdamentals so to celebrate more Thanksgiving, I have these two Thanksgiving quotes and a poem for your giggling pleasure.

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” ~Erma Bombeck

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” ~Irv Kupcinet

“May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!”

~Anonymous

Have a blessed weekend. See you Monday!

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Words Matter Week Contest: Extra Entry Idea!

Today is Day Two of the National Words Matter Week Contest!  In addition to posting  our blog link(s), today you have an additional way to enter and have fun with our contest!

Today’s Extra Entry:

Here is our extra entry rules for today, Tuesday, March 2nd:

Art of Eloquence has started a collection of funny or poignant sayings about communication.  We would love to add even more to our growing list!  If you have a favorite family friendly saying or quote that is NOT listed on the top of our quotes page, please email jojo@artofeloquence.com  with your quote and please put “WMW Contest” in the subject line.  Each quote we do not yet have on our quotes page will count as an additional entry in our contest!

Enter early and often!

The one with the most entries at midnight on Friday, March 5th will win an Art of Eloquence Value Package of his/her choice!

You might want to subscribe to my blog or check back with Communication FUNdamentals tomorrow for another way to enter to win our contest!

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Making a list and forgetting it twice

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.”  -Beryl Pfizer

What has organization to do with communication?  Read my article, Organize Your Communication and find out just how much!

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Redundant Redundancies

It all started the other day when I found an Abraham Lincoln quote:

“People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.”

It sounded so close to something my Dad always says:

“This is the kind of thing you like if you like that kind of thing.”

I posted them on Facebook and began getting responses that were such great fun like this one:

“Where ever you go, there you are!” -I have no idea who originally said this, do you?

Which reminded me of a funny message my sister and her family had on their answering machine for years:

“None of us are here ‘cuz all of us are somewhere else. When some of us return, one of us will call you back.”

And the circular thinking of things like this one from my good friend BeckyJoie:

“The Department of Redundancy Department”

Then later on that day I was surfing the net trolling for blog fodder when I came  upon this little gem:

“It is bad luck to be superstitious.”-Andrew W. Mathis

Care to join me in my “Quote Madness”?  Post your own favorite Redundant Redundancy here!


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Communication Lessons from Shakespeare

Communication Lessons from Shakespeare

While going through my email files, I found the following quote:

“Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.” ~William Shakespeare

Shakespeare packs quite a lot into this one line and I thought it so profound that I wanted to disect it to get the full impact of what he is saying here.

Shakespeare says that conversation should be pleasant without scurrility.  Scurrility is abusive language or a rude remark. This is quite unique today with the invention of electronic communication such as you are reading here.  More and more I see people who feel free or even justified to be rude just because they don’t have to look their victim in the eye as they do it.

Next he says conversation should be witty without affectation. Affectation means a speech that is not natural for you.  It is natural to want to put your best foot forward when we present ourselves to others but it is important that we don’t change who God made us to fit that bill.  I’m a goofball.  It comes naturally.  I goof around with language when I write and speak.  It’s natural for me.  If I were to try to be some Serious Sally, you might feel like I was putting on airs.  In fact, I have a story to tell you about that.

Way back when I first started writing communication studies, my husband was in charge of editing my work.  He doesn’t write the way I do.  He’s got a fabulous sense of humor, but he doesn’t write that way.  His style is more formal and polished.  After reading over his changes, I remember thinking it sounded like I swallowed a dictionary!  I took it back to him and said, “Lighten up, Francis!”  (from a line in a movie)

God gave each of us a unique perspective.  Nobody wants to read what you think someone else would say.  They want to know what YOU think.

Next Shakespeare says we should be free without indecency.  Free speech should not be so free that we compromise moral decency. Free speech has its consequences and one of them is that we have now become a society where anything goes, but very little is valuable.  It’s hard to draw that line in law, but most of us know when it’s been crossed.   Ephesians 4:29 tells us, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

For the past few weeks, I’ve been posting some fabulous videos of Christian comedians and I’ve noticed something.  It takes so much more talent and creativity to be funny without swearing and what results makes you laugh even more!

Next he talks about being learned without conceitedness.  Conversation should strive to be intelligent discussion without putting on those airs.  Anne Morrow Lindbergh said “Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”

Do you have someone in your life that you dread talking to?  Someone who either never says anything new or someone who is always talking about himself so that you get bored with the conversation?  Do you have someone in your life you just LOVE talking to?  Maybe this person is an elderly relative who always has such rich and interesting stories to tell about life in the last century.  Conversation can be dull or it can have you hanging on every word.  It’s up the the individual to give something interesting of himself and there is a fine line between giving of himself and giving himself.

Finally Shakespeare talks about being novel without falsehood.  This goes along the same lines as the previous segment.  There are those for whom boredom breaks out of his mouth because he never interjects a novel idea into the conversation.  Then there are those who spin wild tales just to wow their audience who is fully aware that almost none of this fantastic tale is actually true.

I hope you enjoyed your Communication lessons from Shakespeare!  I now return you to your regularly scheduled era.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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