Foot in Mouth Man (FIMM) is our lovable mascot here at Art of Eloquence.  A bumbling miscommunicator who sticks his foot in his mouth each month for your amusement and “confusement.”  He does it so often that he has Athlete’s Tongue!  However, there are some people I have encountered recently on social media and blog sites who are vying for the coveted title of FIMMpersonator of the Month and I thought I’d give it out to one lucky winner.

Communication doesn’t break down significantly if someone has a typo or two and, as my editor knows, I can’t spell my way out of a paper “bagg” so I’d never complain if someone had a grammatical error or a misspelled word here and there.  THESE FOLKS, however, make FIMM look like Hemingway!

Please leave a comment with your vote for this month’s Favorite FIMMpersonator. The names and other identifying remarks have been changed to protect the FIMMpersonators.  

1. Our first contestant is Twitter Twit: This follower wanted me to follow “him”.  His Twitter name is a marketing company, but he has a picture of woman’s chest with wet hair down her front, enough to see that she is “well-endowed by her creator.”  He posts articulate thoughts such as: “Built your success with one focus thought and massive actions”  and his bio reads: “Candy, love pink color and eating. Socialised and hangout with friends,clubbing and entertaining.” I’ll just bet (s)he’s got some fabulous thoughts on marketing, no?

2. Next up is Facebook Faux Pas.  There were a few men who sent me a direct message on Facebook like this one:

Hello Dear I am looking for friendship.i am an easy going i am good listener. i like long conversation. communication is an lost art now a days.  I am a very sincere person who like to treat a lady like a queen,lol.I guess you can say “OLD FASHIONED, I enjoy opening door’s, giving flowers, taking long walks, candle light dinners,i will like to know you more……..Donald.

Can you believe it?  Donald is single, ladies…but I’m  not!  Apparently Donald never read my bio where I share that I am a Christian WIFE and mother.  Donald also never bothered to send a friendship request. I guess he figures if he gets a girlfriend, she’d probably send him one!  ;D   Donald has nothing posted on his wall, has no friends and no information in his bio except what is listed in his direct message.

3. Our next FIMMpersonator, Pastor Potty Mouth, also hails from Twitter. I was following what seemed to be a nice young man on Twitter whose bio said he was in seminary to become a minister.  I hadn’t been following him long when he posted about how he doesn’t appreciate something.  He told his follower where they could go.  Of course, he used other, shall we say, more colorful language which included a word brought to you by the letter “F”.

4. Last, but definitely my favorite, is Blog Blunderer.  Our final entry was a comment found in my spam folder on my FortheLoveofPurple.com blog.

“Ilike to assert without any backing evidence whatsoever that the post author is [insert slur for homosexual  here] simply because this commenter does not agree with the post author and is unable to articulate a cogent argument, let alone a coherent sentence”

Blog Blunderer is apparently not articulate enough to insult me, your humble post author, but has eloquently insulted HIMSELF! By the way, this comment was posted on a blog entry that simply had a picture of one of my purple projects.  I guess he REALLY doesn’t like purple!  He gets my vote for FIMMpersonator of the Month!

Vote for yours!  I’ll let you know who our winner is tomorrow!

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