Facebook wall

A while back, I posted, Did you really want to say THAT on Facebook? so when an obscure Facebook “friend” posted this on my wall, the idea for Did you really want to DO that on Facebook? was birthed.

It happens occasionally on Facebook. I call it the I’ve Got a Christian Cause so the Ends Justifies the Means Disease. This is where people send you a friend request and then never interact with you. They never reply to or “like” any of your posts, never answer when you post on theirs, never post on your wall UNTIL…they begin asking for help with their ministry/business.

I don’t mind if, once in a while, one of my Facebook friends lets me know they are involved with a charity and asks for my help by posting on my wall. If I can afford to give, the cause is something I believe in and the charity is on the up and up, I’ll help. If I can’t, maybe I can simply pass along the information. Just by virtue of it being posted on my wall, allows my Facebook friends to see the need. However, when someone ONLY posts on my wall for the express purpose of advertising their wares or plugging even a legitimate charity in a way that smacks of spam, I see that as a problem. Here’s what I mean.

This particular person posted a very long comment about his charity on one of my most popular posts of the day complete with link, hype, tear jerking story and desperate plea. The only thing that didn’t come standard was a tissue. Notice how, as a comment on a post that had MANY replies, his request for money was automatically sent as an email to each one of the people who had replied to my completely unrelated post. How convenient for him, hmmm?

At the time, I was willing to extend grace thinking he might just be an over zealous, kind soul who didn’t understand proper Facebook social networking etiquette so I left his comment there. However, the very next day I found the exact worded, lengthy comment to my most popular post of THAT day. I got curious to see if this was a duplicate or if this was his Modus Operandi. Sure enough, his entire Facebook wall was replete with time stamped indices of HUNDREDs of duplicate copies of this exact comment he had left on other’s posts…all of which were their most popular posts of the day! There wasn’t one post on any other topic or any evidence that he ever left a different comment when replying to anyone else. I unfriended him. I didn’t see any use in pursuing a friendship with someone who had no desire to connect beyond asking for money.

You may ask why I didn’t contact him in order to share my insights about how he might find a more constructive way to share his mission with others. I’ll tell you why. I’ve met Mr. I’ve Got a Christian Cause so the Ends Justifies the Means before. They always sing the same song and it’s a waste of precious time to attempt to show them the error of their words. They don’t have time to be nice; they are too busy doing good things. They don’t have time to communicate with each individual; they are doing the Lord’s work. It doesn’t matter how they communicate; God demands boldness. If others take offense, so be it; I’m blessed to be a martyr for Christ.

God’s Word is filled with scripture that tells us to speak in grace. Over 4500 scriptures deal with our mouths, tongues, lips and words alone! The ends don’t justify the means in sharing your God-given mission or your faith any more than it does when you are trying to gain success or money.

The next time you are tempted to post something bold knowing that some might take offense, think about two things: 1) Does God really want you to say THIS? and 2) HOW would God want you to say this? In trying to answer question two, reflect on a few of those 4500 scriptures.

“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29

“-So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Issaiah 55:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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I don’t normally post on Thursdays, but I began to notice a new Deadly Communication Sin of Advertising the other day that was confirmed for me just yesterday. Since this one is new, it’s not part of my article, “The 12 Deadly Communication Sins of Advertising,” BUT you should be aware of it. Here’s how it works:

You receive an email notifying you that you have a new comment to a Facebook post. It says you should check out this link for special deals on XYZ. You click on the link to see why someone would have posted this as a response and you find that their comment ISN’T THERE! Since your post was about how you needed prayer for your mom, you assume that it must have been a mistake.

Three days later you receive another email comment to another Facebook post from this same new “friend.” It, too, is a link they want you to visit and it, too, is no longer showing. Again, you notice that your post has nothing whatsoever to do with their links and that the posts they are commenting on happen to have lots of responses from your friends.

The next day, you find another one and suddenly you see a “deadly communication sin of advertising.” Posting a link as a comment makes it clickable and sends it to every single friend who replied to your Facebook post. Since it’s no longer there, most think it was a simple mistake, but some might actually click on the link out of curiosity and perhaps purchase from this spammer.

The problem with this technique is that the spammer will eventually frustrate her friends and their friends and, as the old Breck commercial used to say, “and so on and so on and so on…”

I’ve seen a similar advertising trick on Twitter. You receive an email that you have a reply to your Twitter comment. It directs you to their website only you realize that you and he aren’t following each other on Twitter. He doesn’t have to. To send a direct message, a Twitterer must both be following you and have YOU following him. To send you an @ reply, a Twitterer doesn’t even need to be following YOU!

Fortunately, you can block a Twitter Twit or Facebook Fool who is spamming you, but beware of their tricks. Sometimes these links are viruses. Sometimes they take over your account. I had one recent Facebook link that I clicked on because a good friend had it posted on her wall. When I clicked on it, I found that it not only automatically made me a member of their fan page, but it posted the same thing on MY wall as was on my friend’s wall in order to entice others to click on it. I was able to remove the post on my wall, but I am unable to UNlike their fan page. And each time I tried, I found another post on my wall that I had to delete.

Remember JoJoism#27: “Technology’s a wonderful thing…until it isn’t!”

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