Agree to Disagree

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Today is the last day of Grace Month.  All this month I’ve been sharing from my article, “10 Quick Ways to Disagree in Grace.  Number ten is used when all else fails.  If you can’t agree, you must disagree…in grace!

10. Agree to Disagree
Tis better to agree to disagree and live to discuss another day than to fight for your right to be a pest!  Sometimes people are not ready to hear or accept what you have to say.  Sometimes you are only one in a long line of people the Lord will use to share Jesus with this person.  Share and discuss in love and grace and then let it go.

Yesterday we talked about not arguing when we disagree and the reason for that is so that we can live to agree that we just disagree.  It is a communication myth that an effective communicator can get anyone to agree to anything.  Even The Great Communicator, Ronald Reagan, wasn’t able to convert everyone to his politics.  There are going to be those of us who disagree on fundamental principles such as religion and politics.  In fact, good men can disagree on many things.

If at first you don’t succeed, it might be best to agree to disagree rather than trying and trying again.

I pray these tips have helped you some, but if you would like to learn more about conflicts and how to avoid, reduce or resolve them, check out our latest Art of Eloquence communication study on conflicts!

 

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Give Grace A Chance

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After reading my title, I have that song stuck in my head now, don’t you?  “Just Give Grace a Chance…”  Continuing Grace Month with excerpts  from my article, “10 Quick Ways to Disagree in Grace” we come to numbers five and six.  I pray these tips have been a blessing to you and I would ask that you please pass along the link to my blog posts as there are so many Christians struggling to find comfortable or more effective ways in which to disagree.
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Sometimes Christians find that they may disagree with other Christians over doctrine or how they interpret scripture.  I have seen Christians lash out at a sister or brother in Christ and I have seen others stand idly by in fear of what their response would bring.  This is a HUGE topic that I actually address in several of my communication studies, but I want to address a portion of this here today: new Christians.
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5. Give new Christians a Chance
Before I ever came to accept Jesus, I didn’t know His Word.  I cannot accept what I do not know.  I had to spend time reading the Bible before I could grow in my faith.  The closer I grew to the Lord, the more I wanted to live my life for Him.  I didn’t start off witnessing. It wasn’t until later that I decided not to participate in things like Santa and the Easter Bunny.  Be sure not to stumble a fairly new Christian because he is not yet ready or willing to make a change.”
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We don’t want to stumble a new believer before he has an opportunity to walk with the Lord.  It’s so important that we discuss things and not argue the point.  Most new believers will need time to sit with an idea before they can really understand it.  Most people have the same issue with almost any new idea.  Nobody wants to be told they are doing things wrong, but often we do need to hear it.  It’s so much easier to share what we believe than to accuse or badger.  This allows us the freedom to speak.  It’s also much easier for the recipient to hear us discuss our different belief.  This allows the other person the freedom to listen and understand.
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Another issue we face with gracious disagreement, is when we notice the other party isn’t “buying it.”  LOL  As we attempt to discuss issues, we may notice that the other person isn’t accepting our facts.
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6. Address their Concerns
If they ask you a question, by all means answer!  Sometimes people may not come out and ask, but you can tell they have a concern by their body language or their facial expression.  If they object, by all means address it.  Calmly share what you know about their concerns.”
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Some will come out and ask you how you know X to be true.  Others will squinch up their faces or shake their heads from side to side.  This is a red flag clue that something needs to be addressed.  Do so.  Remember, that addressing their concerns doesn’t mean telling them the are WRONG or getting them to agree you are RIGHT.  It simply means that we should graciously attempt to clarify why they are having trouble with our idea and see if we can discuss it further.  Along the way, the other party might learn you are right or YOU might learn something about the other person that will allow you to explain your position more effectively.
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I’ll be back on Wednesday with some more tips on disagreeing in grace.  Check out our newsletter subscription below.  We will have a free gift coming out tomorrow for all subscribers.  It’s an activity book that helps parents and kids discuss what Jesus did for us.

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