Influence of Texting on Communication Skills

Communication FUNdamentals continues its celebration of Effective Communication Month!  Last week we looked at the history of communication technology.  Today, I’d like to talk about how that change in communication can affect the quality of our communication.

The Influence of Texting on Effective Communication Skills

By JoJo Tabares

 

“Nd U 2 gt rpt 2me by fri5. Bob”

Can you imagine receiving this email from a high level manager at a major corporation?  What would you think of the company who sent this to you, their customer?  If you think this is a an exaggeration, guess again!    Many researchers believe that texting and email have contributed to the drastic decrease in effective communication skills of this generation.  In this article, I am going to cover how texting and email have caused our skills to deteriorate even in the corporate world, how laziness has helped to increase miscommunication, how the impersonal nature of technological communication has increased rudeness and aggression, and hampered our friendships and other social skills.  Lastly, I’m going to share some tips that will help you and your children avoid these pitfalls increasing your chances of success in your personal and professional life.

1. Bad Communication Skills Even in Corporate America:
“Communication is all anyone ever gets paid for ultimately…and if you cannot effectively communicate, you will pay…not get paid!” -Doug Firebaugh

According to a 2005 article in the Pittsburg Post Gazette, employers are complaining about communication skills. Bosses say the biggest failing among college graduates/job applicants is the inability to speak and write effectively.  Communication skills now top the list of qualities employers seek because these are qualities they cannot teach in their two week new-hire training sessions. But these qualities are consistently at the bottom of the list perspective employees possess at the interview.  According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, good communication skills were what employers said was most lacking in college job candidates.

Debra Vargulish is a training administrator at the Latrobe-based global tooling company who recruits on college campuses for Kennametal Inc.  She reported that the students she meets are often inarticulate and shy, “They seem to be way better at using technology than older people. It’s actually the content that is missing.  A lot of them don’t know what to say at all, and that’s not good.”

In my lifetime, technology has been nothing short of amazing!  It has had some incredibly powerful influences on our ability to communicate.  We are able to communicate with almost anyone around the world at the stroke of a key.  We can find information in a nano second. Email and texting allow us convenient access to our friends on our schedule, give us a simple way to connect and pass along vital information, and help family and friends remain close even though they are hundreds of miles apart.  However, texting and email has also been cited as a reason communication skills have deteriorated in recent years.  The use of email shorthand is one of the reasons stated.  According to a recent study, 25% have used emoticons in their school writing; 50% have used informal punctuation and grammar; 38% have used text shortcuts such as “LOL” meaning “laugh out loud”.

“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” -Hubert H. Humphrey 

In a recent Harris Interactive and Teenage Research Unlimited survey, researchers found that instant messaging keeps families interconnected online, but can also lead to fewer in-person meetings, outings and less time actually talking. He said the data collected showed communicating online can be overused and is beginning to replace real-life relationships with virtual ones.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” -Lee Iacocca

2. People are getting lazy with info and not used to checking things out or thinking things through:

With so much information (and misinformation) a click away, many no longer do their due diligence to make sure they are passing along information that is accurate.  Passing along misinformation can not only create a panic where none need exist but it can also destroy your credibility.  I’ve seen large Facebook groups predicated on an untruth.  When the group leaders find out their cause is invalid their group members have a hard time trusting them with any other information.

Laziness causes poor attention spans and writing skills as well.  A recent story in the New York Times about the negative effects of text messaging reported statistics from the Nielsen Company showing teenagers in the United States averaged about 80 text messages per day in the fourth quarter of 2008.  Text messages allow teenagers to communicate in places where cell phones are not allowed, primarily school. It’s fairly easy to hide a cell phone and text, and texting teenagers aren’t focusing on the lesson and a decreased attention span ensues.  According to the University of Alabama computers and applied Technology Program 2009, “Technology Education: A Series of Case Studies,” Mrs. Diego’s 9th grade English student papers are fraught with short, choppy sentences that give no depth.

Further, many teens spend so much time texting, they are not aware of the proper uses of words or phrases and are not used to thinking things through.  Here’s something I heard in the park the other day.  A 14 y/o girl told her 4 y/o step sister, “Your soon-to-be father-in-law is on a plane right now.”  As I listened to the conversation that followed where the older girl repeatedly used this term, it appeared that the 14 y/o was probably talking about her father who was going to adopt her step sister.

3. Increase in Rudeness and aggression:

According to Christina Durano, “Social Skills Impeded by Technology,” DailySkiff.com, “Not only do electronics hinder the development of our interpersonal communication skills, but they can also be just plain rude. Sometimes I want to grab the phone out of someone’s hands and throw it on the ground so they actually look at me during our conversation. It’s not that I think I’m so high and mighty that I actually deserve people’s attention; it’s just that there are some basic rights everyone deserves – one of which is the right to have a two-way conversation.”

Have you noticed how inconsiderate some movie goers are lately?  You can’t step into a movie theater anymore without encountering a sea of cell phones backlit as their owners thumb their way through endless online games or beep-ridden text messaging.  And don’t get me started on the increased aggression on forums, Yahoo groups and chats due to the anonymity of the faceless, impersonal connections made online.  People feel justified in expressing anger and voicing disrespect because they don’t have to look their victims in the eye when they communicate it.

4. Hampering Friendships and social skills
There are severe disadvantages to the influence of technology on interpersonal communication.  In our zest to connect with people all over the globe, we often neglect our own neighbors.  Togetherness is being neglected in contradiction to the basic survival instinctual behaviors. People won’t see any need to be more physically interactive.  Already it is possible to perform major activities without physical interaction — it’s even possible to exercise or engage in sporting activities with a virtual competitor.

Because of the increase in text messaging and email, some experts like Rick Pukis, an Associate Professor of Communications at Augusta State University, say texting could be affecting the way we interact.

“Text messaging has made us a very impersonal society today. They’re not communicating, not using any facial expressions, like smiling so when they get back into a situation where they’re talking to someone, they don’t smile,” said Pukis.

“Someone can whip one out in thirty seconds and they’re like, ‘Ahh, I took care of this, I communicated. You didn’t really communicate, you just shot out a one line sentence over to me and didn’t really convey any thoughts,” said Pukis.

My niece recently attended a friend’s birthday party and found herself in the middle of a texting marathon.  Each girl, cell phone in hand, was texting the boys who were not present at the party and each other even though they were in the room with each other for several hours!

5. What to do?

In order for you and your family to avoid these pitfalls which can result in a serious lack of effective communication skills that can hamper your personal and professional success in life, I recommend you don’t overlook studying communication skills.  Art of Eloquence has a wealth of information on our site dedicated to your success.

The Lord tells us in Proverbs 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” And remember that, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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June is Effective Communication Month

June is Effective Communication Month!  I found that out because my computer was electronically communicating with the world wide web the other day and I happened across a holiday website that told me so.  So…in honor of Effective Communication Month, I’m going to be posting about the areas of our every day lives that are affected by communication skills and giving you all some tips for each one.  Each day will focus on a different area of life.

I actually wanted to post an audio from a seminar I gave this past week. Unfortunately, TalkShoe didn’t work and play well with others that day.  There was some miscommunication between my technology and their technology and, well, it wasn’t pretty.  I’m working on re-recording it so I can have that for you later on this month.  Please pray the Technology Gremlins will keep their distance or that I can locate my Techno Gremlin Bug-Off Spray!

I thought I’d start Effective Communication Month out by sharing a fun video I found on YouTube of the history of communication technology.

By the way, June 1st is also Say Something Nice Day.  So please leave a comment!  ;D

 

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Brand NEW Sample Lessons Avaliable!

On Monday, I shared all our updated sample lessons/excerpts.  Today I’d like to unveil our brand NEW samples.  These are samples that we’ve never had before. I hope you enjoy a peek into the world of Art of Eloquence communication studies.  Please pass this link along to those who may be struggling with one of these issues or would like to enhance their lives by learning to master them.

NOTE: Each link here takes you to the product page where you’ll find the sample or excerpt link toward the bottom of that page.

Say What You Mean Every Day

The Play Book

 

Say What You Mean: The Language of Leadership

21 Days to More Godly Communication

Say What You Mean: Overcoming Social Anxiety

Say What You Mean: Debating the Issues

Say What You Mean: Avoiding, Reducing and Resolving Conflicts

Say What You Mean: Beginning Debate

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It’s Communication FUNdamentals Week

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It’s Humor Week (or rather Communication FUNdamentals Week)  here at Communication FUNdamentals!  That means all the funniest communication tips, articles, videos, quotes, pictures <—— (notice anything funny about that?) and other creative fun I can muster.  Why?  Well, because the blog’s called Communication FUNdamentals.  That’s why!  lol

My blog’s name reflects the humor with which I write all of my articles and communication studies for Art of Eloquence.com.   I have always loved humor ever since I was a little tiny communicator and I patterned Art of Eloquence materials after The Great Communicator, Ronald Reagan, who used humor and his Christian faith to convey his messages.

I wrote a short article a long while ago in a galaxy far, far away that I have posted on the Articles Page of our website.  It’s called “Humor: A Powerful Communication Tool.”  So I’ll begin at the beginning with this article which starts off…

In the olde days of kings who ruled with absolute power, only the court jester could safely tell the King the truth, mediated through humor.  Anyone else who attempted to tell the Emperor he had no clothes was in danger of losing his head!

Humor is a valuable and effective tool for communicating just about anything because humor breaks down barriers.  Carefully disguised as fun, humor can smuggle new ideas into people’s hearts.

To read the rest of the article, click here.

Knowing how important humor is to effective communication and the study of communication, I’m going to share as many comical, creative and fun ways in which we use humor this week.  I usually post only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but check back each day this week for more Communication FUNdamentals.

Today’s insightful, creative giggle is in the form of a video.  Victor Borge in Inflationary Language.  What do you think about humor? Post your comments here and please pass along the blog link to others to share the giggles!  Thanks.

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Compliment: FIMM Style

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Ending Praise Week with a blast.  Foot in Mouth Man has had 150 episodes of communication MISadventures.  In the past several  years that I’ve been writing for “himm,” FIMM has stuck his foot in his mouth many a time resulting in a backhanded compliment.  Here is a FIMM Classic from the early days:

Episode 11:

FIMM has finally met someone!  Bonnie was carrying some heavy grocery bags when FIMM offered to help her carry them to her car.  Bonnie was so impressed with FIMM’s sweet nature that she agreed to go out with him.  They have had three dates already this week!

FIMM wrote Bonnie an email to thank her for cooking him dinner last night.  Bonnie was very insecure about her cooking and told FIMM that she really hasn’t had much cooking experience.  By way of apology, Bonnie admitted that she had used spaghetti sauce from a jar.  FIMM wanted to show his appreciation before he called her for another date so he wrote her this email:

To: Bonnie Sweet

From: FIMM

Subject: Dinner

Hi Bonnie,

I just wanted to thank you for dinner last night.  Nobody opens a jar like you do!  In fact, the whole dinner was so good that I thought it was cooked by someone who knew what they were doing!

FIMM

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FIMM: Don’t be like himm!  Check out all things FIMM on his very own page at Art of Eloquence to see his latest episode, his very own video, audio recording and a few of his classic episodes!  Don’t forget to check out the Foot in Mouth Man Gift shop featuring FIMM Wear and his book of FIMM’s Best Episodes, FIMMology 101!

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It’s Praise Week

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It’s Praise Week here at Communication FUNdamentals!

The Bible talks about praising God, and we should, for all the blessings He has given us, but it also talks about supporting and being a blessing to others.  Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Edifying means to build up.  God wants us to build others up, to lift them up when they are down, to support them.  This scripture also tells us we should do this in order to minister grace to them.  Grace means showing mercy, kindness and service toward others.   Here’s why this is so important.

I always knew how important it was to praise others, but recently my daughter brought to my attention an article that tells us more about why.  It says research shows Young People Prefer Praise.

“We looked at all the things college students love and they love self-esteem more,” says lead author Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University in Columbus.”

The article further stated that the students surveyed preferred experiences that boosted their self-esteem and cited things like getting good grades and compliments.  It went on to say:

Part of what researchers analyzed was the difference between “liking” and “wanting,” based on study participants’ self-reports. They said they liked the rewards listed in the study more than they actually wanted them, which Bushman says is considered healthy. However, the liking-wanting distinction was smallest for self-esteem, suggesting a stronger desire for it than the other rewards.

So not only did they like receiving these rewards, but they actually craved or wanted them:

“It’s about confidence in your ability to deal with life’s challenges and a sense of personal worth, rather than generalized praise and undeserved rewards.

The article suggests that craving self-esteem can be harmful to a society when it crosses over into narcissism.  However, I believe this is much more likely for those who don’t follow Biblical principles which say to put others before ourselves.

I wonder if this rise in young people wanting or even craving experiences or feedback that fills self-esteem needs is because society as a whole is just so much busier than it used to be.  People are working two jobs to make ends meet.  Moms are worried about their children running with the wrong crowd or having too much free time that they are scheduling many more activities than they once did.  Nobody knows their neighbors anymore.  Are we all too busy these days to take the time to pay those compliments we used to?  Do people today feel lost in the crowd?  Is life more complicated today making it less likely to feel we are doing well?  Does society push self-esteem too much?  Or is it that society teaches us to seek conformity rather than treasure our uniqueness ?  Are we looking for acceptance from a world that says we are just one of the crowd?  Or does society no longer believe in a God who treasures each individual created with love?

What do you think?

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Not a Good Sign

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Now remember folks, if grace is not in your communication…

epic fail photos - Oddly Specific: There's One In Every Family

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Agree to Disagree

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Today is the last day of Grace Month.  All this month I’ve been sharing from my article, “10 Quick Ways to Disagree in Grace.  Number ten is used when all else fails.  If you can’t agree, you must disagree…in grace!

10. Agree to Disagree
Tis better to agree to disagree and live to discuss another day than to fight for your right to be a pest!  Sometimes people are not ready to hear or accept what you have to say.  Sometimes you are only one in a long line of people the Lord will use to share Jesus with this person.  Share and discuss in love and grace and then let it go.

Yesterday we talked about not arguing when we disagree and the reason for that is so that we can live to agree that we just disagree.  It is a communication myth that an effective communicator can get anyone to agree to anything.  Even The Great Communicator, Ronald Reagan, wasn’t able to convert everyone to his politics.  There are going to be those of us who disagree on fundamental principles such as religion and politics.  In fact, good men can disagree on many things.

If at first you don’t succeed, it might be best to agree to disagree rather than trying and trying again.

I pray these tips have helped you some, but if you would like to learn more about conflicts and how to avoid, reduce or resolve them, check out our latest Art of Eloquence communication study on conflicts!

 

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My Redeemer Lives!

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One of my most favorite songs of all time.  Blessings on this Resurrection SONday to your and your family from all of us here at Art of Eloquence.com!

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Give Grace A Chance

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After reading my title, I have that song stuck in my head now, don’t you?  “Just Give Grace a Chance…”  Continuing Grace Month with excerpts  from my article, “10 Quick Ways to Disagree in Grace” we come to numbers five and six.  I pray these tips have been a blessing to you and I would ask that you please pass along the link to my blog posts as there are so many Christians struggling to find comfortable or more effective ways in which to disagree.
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Sometimes Christians find that they may disagree with other Christians over doctrine or how they interpret scripture.  I have seen Christians lash out at a sister or brother in Christ and I have seen others stand idly by in fear of what their response would bring.  This is a HUGE topic that I actually address in several of my communication studies, but I want to address a portion of this here today: new Christians.
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5. Give new Christians a Chance
Before I ever came to accept Jesus, I didn’t know His Word.  I cannot accept what I do not know.  I had to spend time reading the Bible before I could grow in my faith.  The closer I grew to the Lord, the more I wanted to live my life for Him.  I didn’t start off witnessing. It wasn’t until later that I decided not to participate in things like Santa and the Easter Bunny.  Be sure not to stumble a fairly new Christian because he is not yet ready or willing to make a change.”
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We don’t want to stumble a new believer before he has an opportunity to walk with the Lord.  It’s so important that we discuss things and not argue the point.  Most new believers will need time to sit with an idea before they can really understand it.  Most people have the same issue with almost any new idea.  Nobody wants to be told they are doing things wrong, but often we do need to hear it.  It’s so much easier to share what we believe than to accuse or badger.  This allows us the freedom to speak.  It’s also much easier for the recipient to hear us discuss our different belief.  This allows the other person the freedom to listen and understand.
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Another issue we face with gracious disagreement, is when we notice the other party isn’t “buying it.”  LOL  As we attempt to discuss issues, we may notice that the other person isn’t accepting our facts.
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6. Address their Concerns
If they ask you a question, by all means answer!  Sometimes people may not come out and ask, but you can tell they have a concern by their body language or their facial expression.  If they object, by all means address it.  Calmly share what you know about their concerns.”
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Some will come out and ask you how you know X to be true.  Others will squinch up their faces or shake their heads from side to side.  This is a red flag clue that something needs to be addressed.  Do so.  Remember, that addressing their concerns doesn’t mean telling them the are WRONG or getting them to agree you are RIGHT.  It simply means that we should graciously attempt to clarify why they are having trouble with our idea and see if we can discuss it further.  Along the way, the other party might learn you are right or YOU might learn something about the other person that will allow you to explain your position more effectively.
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I’ll be back on Wednesday with some more tips on disagreeing in grace.  Check out our newsletter subscription below.  We will have a free gift coming out tomorrow for all subscribers.  It’s an activity book that helps parents and kids discuss what Jesus did for us.

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