communication

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 2

November 28, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

So far this Thanksgiving month, we’ve talked about why it’s often difficult to Praise God in the Storm, what God Says about Being Thankful, What Being Thankful Doesn’t Mean, some things that will help us to remember in trying to be thankful. I’ve given you some practical advice with tips on exactly HOW to praise God in the storm. On Monday, I shared what happens to our communication when we are thankful and today I have a few more consequences of being thankful.

1. Others find us more approachable

The old saying, “laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone” is quite true. Unless you’re so delirious with joy that you seem a Stepford Wife, the more joyous and thankful you are, the more approachable you seem to others.

Nobody wants to approach a Gloomy Gus and ask him for directions. If you are filled with the joy of the Lord, you are apt to radiate that to others who will find you a blessing in their lives because they feel they can ask you for help.

2. Others aren’t intimidated by us or afraid of us or uncomfortable with us

When we aren’t grumpy or frustrated, we open ourselves not only for others to ask us for help so that we may be a blessing to them, but we allow others to feel comfortable enough with us to spend time talking to us. How can we hope to share the Gospel or our ideas if we make others so uncomfortable that they don’t want to be around us?

3. We show and communicate God’s love

Another advantage of being joyous is that we have an opportunity to share and demonstrate God’s love. It’s difficult to communicate God’s love for His children if we are grumpy, frustrated and angry. Being filled with joy and thankfulness allows us to share that joy and thankfulness with others, even if we don’t utter a word.

Well, that concludes this month’s series of articles on being thankful and praising God in the storm although I will be back on Friday with some reflections on thankfulness.

I pray this series was a blessing to you especially if you are experiencing struggles in your life at present. Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this topic, especially if this series of articles has helped you or someone you know to be able to cope better during a struggle. I’d love to hear what made a difference for you.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, God, intimidated, love, praise, storm, thankful

HOW to praise God in the storm part 2

November 21, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

On Monday I shared some things we can do that will help us become thankful so that we can praise God in the midst of the storms of our lives. Here are some more things that have helped me over the years and I pray they help you as well.

1. Remember that joy and happiness are two different things

Keep things in proper perspective. Happiness, as defined by Merriam Webster as good fortune or prosperity, a state of well-being and contentment, joy or a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Joy is listed as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires, delight, the expression or exhibition of such emotion, gaiety, a state of happiness or felicity, bliss, a source or cause of delight.

So happiness is dependent upon external circumstances, whereas joy exists in spite of whatever is going on around us and is a result of what’s happening on the inside. You can still have joy even though you are not happy because you can have a hope because you are in God’s will and will be rewarded in heaven even if you aren’t here on earth. You can be joyous in your strength or your endurance or your obedience even if you are unhappy about your health or your finances or your relationships.

2.Do things that bring you joy

Look at pretty pictures of God’s world and remember how everything is delicately balanced for us and given for us to use. It’s hard to look at he beauty of God’s world and not feel some amount of joy.

Listen to uplifting music and sing along or sing harmony. I am a wanna be musician. I used to write songs and I was a voice major in college before I switched to Speech Communication. I can’t help but feel better when I hear beautiful music and sing along. It usually makes me feel better to sing along to praise and worship music sometimes the same song over and over again. Here’s one of my favorites:

Call a friend. Sometimes you need a real, living person you can talk things over with. Just talking through our feelings can help us feel a bit better because we have expressed them and someone cared enough to listen. Many times we aren’t looking for a solution because we already know what our options are, but sometimes we may be surprised as our friend’s ability to help us find one! Even if nothing gets resolved, you will probably find yourself feeling better just because you were able to share your feelings with a good and trusted friend.

3.Read encouraging devotionals

Not devotionals on being thankful, but ones that encourage you. BibleGateway has a devotionals you can subscribe to that I have found helpful: Encouragement for Today, Devotions for Women and Devotions for Moms. I don’t recommend the one called Standing Strong in the Storm because it’s mostly about people who have endured religious persecution. While that might be important to read and inspiring at other times, I find that they are not something we can relate to when we are in the middle of stress. Unless your struggle is religious persecution on a grand scale, I find I can’t relate to them and they make me feel bad for even being upset about financial or health or relationship issues which doesn’t help me feel any better about my situation.

4. Help someone else

I know it sounds a bit backwards, but it can often feel good to be the solution for someone else’s problem. Sometimes we are almost paralyzed by our fear or stuck in our sadness that we feel a complete lack of control over our lives. It can feel empowering or at least uplifting to be the solution to something, no matter how small the issue is. As they used to say back when I was a little girl, “try it; you’ll like it.”

You may not be able to become happy about your circumstances, but you can do things that bring you some joy. This joy will help us see the blessings God has put in our lives and this will, eventually, allow us to thank God and even praise him in the storm.

Now that we have a few things we can do that will help us become more joyous, next week I will share about what happens to us when we are thankful. What happens to our feelings and what happens to our communication.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, God, happiness, joy, joyous, praise, prosperity, storm, thankful

Birthday Bash Tomorrow!

October 31, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

Art of Eloquence will be TEN years old on November 1st! Mark your calendars so you don’t miss it because YOU get all the free gifts! You can even win prizes! Here’s how. We’ll be celebrating from 11am to 1pm PST, Thursday, November 1st both on our blog and our Facebook fan page.

Two Hour Facebook Party

Time: 11am-1pm PST/ 12pm-2pm MST/ 1pm-3pm CST/ 2pm-4pm EST

Location: Facebook fan page.

Events: Communication touches every aspect of our lives so…during the Facebook Party, each of our ten sponsors (experts in their field) will be posting tips, links, and/or free gifts for you in all aspects of life. Make sure you are on our fan page at that time so you can view them all. Make sure to refresh your page so you can see all the new posts as they occur.

During that time, we will also post a link to each of the ten contests where you can win prizes donated by our sponsors. Winners will be chosen from all the correct answers posted as comments on each contest blog post.

You can check out all of our sponsors and the prizes they will be giving away as well as a few free gifts you can download right now on our Birthday Bash Page!

Stay tuned to this blog tomorrow for even more Breaking NEWS. HUGE announcement coming!

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News Tagged With: birthday bash, business, communication, debate, eBooks, leadership, Speech, Subscribe Here!

Breast Cancer AWAREness?

October 24, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

Continuing with my series, “What Does Your _____ Say About You?” Here is another article I wrote a while back that addresses the example we set and what we communicate even if it’s for a good cause. What Does Your Post Say About You?

Breast Cancer AWAREness?

by JoJo Tabares

Every year around this time, I receive an inordinate number of private messages from Facebook friends about Breast Cancer Awareness. So many apparently see this as a fun way to promote a worthy cause, the elimination of breast cancer which affects many women, so why do I have such a problem with it?

1. It does NOT promote awareness.

A few years ago I was asked to post the color of my bra. Another year I was asked to post where I like to keep my purse. This year I was asked to post a tiny heart symbol. You are ONLY supposed to post the answer, but not explain what it means–even when someone asks.

Most people have no idea it has anything to do with breast cancer and those who already know because they got the insider personal message from one of their Facebook friends, already know. If they don’t know, they are afraid to ask, so…how does this benefit breast cancer awareness?

2. What it so often DOES promote is frustration, embarrassment and inappropriate comments.

The first year I was exposed to this, I had no idea what it was. I saw a bunch of my friends posting, “red,” “blue,” “yellow with pink polka dots.” So naturally, I posted a comment, “What is yellow with pink polka dots?” I received a PM a few hours later explaining what it was and asking me to post what color my bra was. I’m sorry, but the color of my bra is between me, my husband and God. I really don’t feel comfortable sharing that with the general public.

The year they asked you to post where you like to keep your purse, I saw an increase in the number of mutual male friends who had one of two responses to, “I like it on the counter!” or “I like it on the kitchen table!” One was utter embarrassment either to the mere image it conjured up or to the response they received if they innocently asked what it meant.

The other response men typically have to sexual innuendo is lewd comments. I’m not going to post any of them here, but I’m sure you know what I mean. Men are visual creatures when it comes to this subject. The mere mention of something that smacks of a sexual image, is enough to illicit (or should that be elicit) comments that shouldn’t be repeated in mixed company. As Christians, isn’t it our duty not to tempt men to stumble?

Breast cancer is a serious disease affecting not only thousands of women, but their families as well. A friend recently told me that she wondered if people whose lives were affected by breast cancer felt as if these “Green”, “On the counter,” and cutsie heart symbols were making light of their loss. If you’ve been a reader of Communication FUNdamentals for any length of time, you know how much I love to joke, but there are times when it just seems wrong. In my mind, these postings do not serve to inform or educate and have an incredible potential for miscommunication, embarrassment and to promote inappropriate comments.

So this season, why not just post a pink ribbon and say, ”This month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.” Then post a link to Breast Cancer.org where you can get more information.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Awareness, Breast Cancer, communication, Example

Are you a good Christian Example on Facebook?

October 22, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

I’m starting a new series on the blog called, “What Does Your _____ Say About You?” I’m going to highlight some of the things we may not think about when we consider communication. However, this is especially important as we consider what kind of Christain example we are as we go through our day. Here is an article I wrote a while back for Examiner.com. So…What does your Facebook Page Say About You?

Are You a Good Christian Example on Facebook?

By JoJo Tabares

“But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” -Acts 1:8

I’m probably preaching to the choir, but maybe you could pass this along. I see so many friend requests from people on Facebook who, with their words, declare they are Christian, but with their profile picture, posts and the fan pages they “like” say otherwise. Once you declare yourself a Christian, the world is watching and judging. Are you a good example (witness) of Christ in your corner of the Facebook neighborhood?

1. Sultry Eyes

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Your profile picture is sometimes the only thing a prospective Facebook friend can see. Make sure it’s a good representation. Oh most people do go to the trouble of making sure they look nice. They only put up a picture that caught them on a good hair day, but did your profile picture catch you on a good soul day? Does your picture say, “I’m sexy?” Do your eyes suggest you are looking for a relationship or do they really only suggest you are looking for one thing? Are you wearing your Sunday best or your bikini? Are you enticing men with your expression or are you displaying a friendly demeanor? Remember, ladies. Men are visual creatures. This is why God put this verse in His Word:

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” -1 Timothy 2:9-10

2. Foul Language

Yes, as strange as this sounds, I often seen professing Christians reply to people who disagree with them using foul language. In fact, I have seen a professing Christian reply to people she did agree with this way too! Foul language, especially from women, is not something that even today’s secular society accepts. All too often, I see men using foul language in public, around women and children. Such a thing wasn’t acceptable when I was a young girl. Now it is commonplace. Somehow, though, seeing it in print (or text as the case may be) is just a bit more crude and shocking especially coming from a man or woman of God.

3. Suggestive Pictures

My office is also where my son does his school work. From his desk, he can see over his computer to mine and I can’t tell you how many times a Christian Facebook friend has shocked me by posting a picture of a woman draped in only a sheet or…LESS! Even if I didn’t have little eyes peering over at me, I don’t have any desire to see these kinds of pictures. If I see this type of thing while responding to a friend request, I don’t accept. However, when I see this type of thing after I accept and saw that this person proclaims Christianity, I am saddened at the example this person is setting for his/her friends and friends of friends.

4. Un-Christian by Association

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.” -2 Corinthians 6:14-17

Christianity isn’t a smorgasbord and it doesn’t live in a vacuum. How we act, what we say and who we associate ourselves with set an example for those who are watching. If you profess Christianity, yet post pictures from a group you belong to that has foul language in its title, what type of example are you setting? If you think, nobody will notice, you’re wrong. What happens when someone really likes that picture and wants to check out where it came from or share it on their wall? Like it or not, by posting a picture shared from a group like this, you are actually communicating that you endorse it—even if you don’t.

Facebook is an online party. You may not realize it, but you’re building a reputation in a public place. We need to be a good, Christian example or we invite others to stumble in their faith. I submit to you that not being careful of your public reputation can also stumble your own faith. You can’t claim Christianity and then act as if you are part of the world. It doesn’t wash. I’ve heard some say they do and say these things in order to relate better with unbelievers. However, I want you to consider that most of the time when we compromise what we know is right, it’s not the unbeliever who is influenced. It is us.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Article, Christian, communication, Example, Facebook

On this day in 1951, I Love Lucy Premiere

October 15, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

I’ve written about my love for the I Love Lucy show before. It was one of the most incredibly creative shows, especially with the use of language. It was the first show I can remember where language played a vital role: accents, miscommunication, culture.

Last month, I wrote an article for my newsletter subscribers detailing the lessons we can about poor communication from I Love Lucy. But this week, on the anniversary of the very first I Love Lucy show, I’d like to highlight some of the fun and creative scenes that taught us about language and effective communication.

Here’s Lucy making fun of Ricky’s English:

Ricky tells Little Ricky a bedtime story. Can you tell which one?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, English, I Love Lucy

Tomorrow is Mad Hatter Day

October 5, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

Favorite line from Alice in Wonderland is when the Mad Hatter is afraid he’s crazy. Alice says, “You’re entirely bonkers, but I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

I’ve read a lot about some really creative people and a great many of them seemed a bit bonkers. I’ve read a few articles about highly intelligent people that suggests that the more intelligent a person is, the more their tendancy to have coping issues. They call it twice gifted.

Is there a corrolation between highly creative or highly intelligent people and madness? We do find many highly intelligent people or incredibly creative people who have trouble communicating with others. Many creative people have been known to be depressed or even have a hard time functioning in society. Hollywood entertainers are only one modern example, but there have been authors and artists as well. For example, Vincent van Gogh suffered from mental illness.

I, myself, am a bit strange. I’m fairly creative. I see things differently than many of my peers. Always have.

I have often wondered if the creativity that caused people see things in a unique way and communicate in a unique way (artwork, poems, stories, theater, etc), was also responsible for them seeing themselves and their place in the world in a unique way that also caused them great grief.

What do you think?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Alice in Wonderland, communication, gifted, Mad Hatter, twice gifted

Talk Like a Pirate Day

September 19, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

I’m mixing things up this week. I usually save the communication funnies for Friday Funnies, but today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. In celebration, I have several fun videos to share with you. All share something unique in communication.

Here is an Amazon Parrot singing Yo Ho A Pirate’s Life for Me!

Want an iPhone app to teach you how to talk like a pirate?

Here’s another parrot speaking pirate.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, Funnies, talk, Talk like a pirate day

Funny Quotes Quiz

September 14, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

Can you match the funny communication quote with its author? Post your answers in a comment below.

1. “The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”

2. “Wise men talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.”

3. “The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

4. “Write with a little pizzazz or you’ll just have a blahg.”

5. “Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

6. “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

7. “It’s okay to have nothing to say…unless you’re talking.”

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Plato

Winston Churchill

George Jessel

Mark Twain

Author Unknown

Marty Feldman

JoJoism#191

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Author, communication, quotes, word, write

Myth that God will always give you the words you need

August 20, 2012 by Art of Eloquence

One of the excuses I hear for why people choose not to study communication skills is that the Lord will give us the words we need when we need them. In other words, God will speak through all of us and, presumably, in every situation. There is some scriptural precedent for this. Here are a few instances where the Lord tells us that some people were given the words needed in a particular situation.

“But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.” Matthew 10:19

“Then the Lord put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth.” Jeremiah 1:9

However, if we take a closer look, we will find a few problems with thinking that we don’t need knowledge in order to speak eloquently, persuasively and effectively.

1. This doesn’t necessarily apply to all of us or to all situations.

In Matthew 10:19, Jesus was talking to his disciples as they were going to be brought before governors and kings for his sake. Jeremiah 1:9 also speaks of a specific person in a particular situation.

It doesn’t say that everyone will speak this way. It also doesn’t say that these people will speak God’s perfect words all the time. Remember, too, that the disciples were learning from Jesus before they were ever sent out to speak for Him.

God doesn’t always give us the perfect words, does He? How many times have you been misunderstood? How many times have you said something that was incorrect? How many times have you not been sure of what to say? How many times have you said something that hurt someone?

2. Consider what the Lord says about gaining wisdom or knowledge.

Gaining wisdom and knowledge isn’t unnecessary or unbiblical. In fact, God tells us that there is more to knowledge than just knowing our Bibles. He says fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” –Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!” -Psalm 111:10

God’s Word tells us to gain wisdom.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” –Proverbs 4:7

3. We don’t apply the same thinking to other knowledge.

If the Lord intended for us to gain all our wisdom and knowledge from the Bible, we would have no need of schools or institutions of higher learning. If God intended for us to be fed by Him everything we needed to know to live in this world, we wouldn’t need to learn a trade. We wouldn’t read books on business, personal development, or even devotionals.

4. Consider how many times God warns us about our communication.

The Bible warns us to speak in grace, about being careful not to offend our brothers, and cautions us about our lips, mouths, tongues and words hundreds and hundreds of times.

“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” -Colossians 4:6

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” -Proverbs 18:21

I do believe that God may call to mind a scripture as we are talking to someone, but God asks us to prepare for our encounters.

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” 1Peter 3:15

Just as we prepare for our jobs, we should also prepare to communicate with others. I believe the Lord is pretty big on preparation. He prepares a woman’s body for children and He prepared the disciples for ministry.

Consider the story/joke about the man sitting on the roof of his house during a flood waiting for God to rescue him. He let the boat and a helecopter go by because he was waiting on God. When he died, he asked God why He didn’t save him from the flood. God said he sent him a boat and a helicopter! LOL In the same way, we need to use what God provides to prepare us to speak eloquently, persuasively and effectively.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, God, knowledge, wisdom

What happens to our communication when we are thankful-Part 2

HOW to praise God in the storm part 2

Birthday Bash Tomorrow!

Two Hour Facebook Party

Stay tuned to this blog tomorrow for even more Breaking NEWS. HUGE announcement coming!

Breast Cancer AWAREness?

Are you a good Christian Example on Facebook?

On this day in 1951, I Love Lucy Premiere

Tomorrow is Mad Hatter Day

Talk Like a Pirate Day

Funny Quotes Quiz

Myth that God will always give you the words you need

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