Christian Communication Training
Instead of a Friday Funny this week, I bring you this amazing commercial. I can’t remember how I found it now, but it’s an incredible example of nonverbal communication. No words are uttered during this ad, but it most certainly gets the point across with pin point accuracy. It also elicits such a range of emotion, but leaves you with a warm fuzzy feeling. Enjoy and please leave a comment with your thoughts.
Blessings to you and your family from Art of Eloquence.com!
Much has been said about how differently men and women communicate. But not much more has been said in such a funny way. Wives, pay attention. This could help you communicate with your dhs on the highest level. I give you Jeff Allen, on the power of underwear and being direct.
By the way, I just did a post on Communication Pet Peeves and this is one I hear from husbands all over the globe. They wish their wives were more direct.
For more fun with communication, visit Art of Eloquence.com!
I’m starting another new series called Communication Pet Peeves. I’ll put these out about once a month or so, but I just have to kvetch about this (My Jewish heritage coming out and I hope I spelled that right).
As a member of the non techie community, I have to say one of my biggest communication pet peeves is when I am in need of some “help file” and I can’t make heads or drivel out of the online manual. It’s usually written in Tech-ese and I’m not even conversational! Tech manuals usually start with step 67 moving quickly to steps 68, 69 and 70 followed directly afterward by step 107!
Um…Ya lost me! Will someone climb down the technology ladder to step one and help me up? I think the ladder is over here…oh, sorry, that’s the staircase. Isn’t the ladder the same things as a staircase? No? They look the same…they both have steps. Where’s the ladder? Over by the what? Oh, the living room. I thought I was in the living room. Oh, that’s the family room? Sorry, they both have couches, but, yes this room is more family like, I guess. Where? Over on the west side of the house. The west side… Am I on the west side? If I turn left, will I be on the west side? The south? Can you just tell me to turn left or right. I don’t know which way is west or south. Ok, I’ve turned right now I go five paces? How long is a pace?
Does this sound familiar? Do you ever feel like, “Hey, Techie Man! If I knew all this stuff, I wouldn’t NEED the manual!” Ever get an email that’s clear as mud? I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve called web hosts like Go Daddy to ask how something works and hung up with a Tech Headache. Go away, Daddy!
What techie people need to understand is that…wait for it…listen carefully now…
Yes, Trenton TechnoGuru, not everyone even understands the terms you use, let alone how to get to the data file or any other “flibberty jibbet.” You need to actually tell me where that is. You may need to lead me there! I need you to S P E L L it out for me, Tommy TechnoBabble!
Go to http://www.ThisIsTheExactPageINeedToBeOn.com and click the big, fat, red polar bear. Click on the link in the middle of that page that says, “THIS IS THE LINK YOU NEED TO CLICK ON” and it will take you to that screen.
I have to say that my web designer/host has a fabulous way of giving instructions. Traci sends a video showing all the screens I need to click through, one at a time! She doesn’t design websites any more, but she does do some work for website owners. You can check her out here!
There is a whole series of videos she made for her clients so that we Techno Ding Dongs can have the benefit her experience w/o her having to take more time or charge us for little things. At least she thinks they are little things. I love the way she works because she understands that non techies may not even know the right questions to ask. She knows how to give you the information so that it makes sense. Kudos to Traci, but she is only one of a very few techies who know how to talk to us non techie types. She knows that the first rule of business is…”Never make your customers feel dumb.”
I’m apparently too dumb for most tech instruction manuals. How about you? Got any other communication pet peeves I should cover in future installments? Speak up! Just, please, don’t speak Tech-ese!
I must look at the world through funny nose and glasses because my life is just funny. Two weeks ago, as some of you know, my dd and I were baking brownies when, instead of smelling our delicious treat, we smelled burning plastic which we eventually learned was our AC going out.
So a week later my dd and I found ourselves baking brownies again. It was the same day of the week at the same time. I even had the same number of eggs left in the egg carton. We called my dad, who had helped us out the week prior, to put him on alert to be on stand by. LOL If you’re thinking we didn’t, WE DID! Well, we baked and determined conclusively through our little re-creation and scientific experiment that baking brownies does not, in fact, cause your AC to die.
However, the morning after said scientific experiment, my dh came running in upset that the AC wasn’t turning on. It gets hot in our bathroom when you’re taking a shower so he always lowers the AC to blow extra cold until he’s done getting dressed. Well this morning, AC was not responding.
Apparently he asked him nicely, turned him on and off, put the fan on auto and then on, but AC just wasn’t having any of that. As he finished getting dressed for work, I decided to investigate. I’m a homeschool mom and this was a science project. Come on dear, let’s see why AC isn’t listening to your father.
Sure enough AC was set for 78 degrees and it was 82 in the house. Looking around at the thermostat for a minute revealed why. In my dh’s haste, he must have pushed one button he hadn’t planned on. Yes, it said HEAT instead of COOL.
My dh is very intelligent but without his glasses I guess HEAT looks an awful lot like COOL. I couldn’t wait to bring to his attention how NOT to communicate with your thermostat. I’ll never let him live this down. I think it beats my getting lost backing out of my own driveway. What do you think?
This is a picture of the corner of one of the counter tops in my kitchen. What do you notice? What stands out to you? If you said the fact that a piece of the grout is missing, you’d be one of the majority. It kind of bugs me and I’ve been meaning to buy some matching grout and fix it, but the other day I noticed something about what I noticed.
Years ago there was a show I absolutely loved called Touched by an Angel. One episode was about a woman who lived next door to a home for children with disabilities. One of the children was (yet unknown to the audience and characters at the time) an angel with a disability. At the end of the show he revealed himself as an angel not only to the woman, who had become disabled due to a stroke, but to the other angels. When he did, he commented how God had made an angel with a disability to remind people not to look at what people can’t do, but what they can do. During the entire show, even the angels treated him as if he was the sum total of his flaws. Even when dealing with him, trying to help him and trying to allow him to help the woman who was their assignment, they saw him as half flawed.
Looking at this missing grout that bugged me so much, I failed to notice all the other grout that holds this counter top together. I failed to notice the beauty of the counter top which I had initially loved because it wasn’t plain, white tile as were most kitchen counter tops I have had in the past. It’s beauty had faded for me since all I could see was what it was missing. And what was missing was a miniscule amount of grout.
People are like this counter top. We have flaws. Sometimes those flaws can be fixed, but sometimes they cannot. Sometimes they are quite obvious and sometimes they are hardly noticeable. One of my many flaws is that I am HTML Illiterate and Technologically Challenged. Though it’s been quite difficult for me at times, I have learned quite a bit about how to blog, update my website and host online seminars. I’ve “come a long way baby!” Am I still a Techno Idiot? Absolutely, but this techno ding dong can learn! It’s a slow process, but it can be done!
Another one of my flaws is the fact that I have no sense of direction whatever. I joke that I can get lost backing out of my own driveway and it’s not too far from the truth. It is a source of frustration for me and for my family, particularly my husband who could find his way home after being blindfolded and driven across country… in the dark! I just don’t have the GPS gene. I’ve tried to develop my sense of direction in my last 48 years on this planet, but I fear it is a lost cause.
As a directionally impaired and technologically challenged soul, I have a difficult time with simple things like my TV remote. I long for the old days when you had an “on button.” Now turning my TV on involves pressing two buttons for the TV and two buttons for the Cable, that is unless someone left the TV in DVR or DVD mode in which case I have to call my 11 y/o son for help. Apparently you need to push about six more buttons to resolve that! With as little as I watch TV on my own, I’ve never seen the need to get trained in such matters.
My son knows how much mom struggles with things that are simple for him and so often he neglects to see my other good qualities. His comments are sometimes spoken in a condescending way magnifying my flaws as if they make up the sum total of who I am. Sometimes those condescending remarks creep into other subject areas for which I do have an aptitude, yet he will argue with me because he just knows he’s right and mom’s wrong. After all, Mom’s not too bright if she can’t even turn on the TV! This is when I need to remind him that I have learned a wee bit in 48 years and just maybe that song WAS around in the 60’s and wasn’t actually written for Shrek.
Are you a glass half full kind of person? Or do you see it as half empty? Have you ever seen someone only for their flaws? Made a snap judgment about them and couldn’t see the blessings they had to offer? Ever run across someone who struck you as unintelligent, only to find they were a wealth of knowledge about something you treasured? Have you ever thought someone weak only to discover their inner strength and the story behind how it was developed?
You know what else I have found about looking for people’s flaws? If you look at the person as half flawed, you miss so much of the blessings God can give you though them. My engagement ring is a diamond. It is not a flawless diamond by any means. However, as I look at it, I don’t see the flaws. They are too small to be seen with the naked eye. I supposed anyone looking to purchase a flawless diamond would have missed the opportunity to have seen the incredible brilliance of this heart-shaped, well cut diamond sparkle and light up the restaurant when I was proposed to 23 years ago.
When we look for what we expect to find in someone, we are almost always able to see it. Further, what we look for seems to become magnified as under a microscope which obscures anything we are not looking for at present. In addition, when we look for someone’s flaws, we don’t see the blessing that is in that very flaw. A person’s weakness may be his greatest strength. It may be one of the endearing qualities that make him unique if we would only see it that way. Finally, seeing someone as half flawed sets the tone for our communication with him.
The more you expect Johnny not to understand math, the more you speak to him as if he hasn’t got math smarts. The more Johnny hears this communication, the more Johnny believes it. What would happen if you began to speak to Johnny as if he could get it? You know what happened to me when my web designer spoke to me as if I could understand my website? I began to feel like I could do it. The more competent I felt, the more I trusted myself and the more I learned.
So…the next time you are tempted to see someone’s faults, remember to look beyond the missing grout. Look at the person as half blessed so your speech can reflect the whole of who they are instead of someone who is half flawed.
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
I subscribe to The Word Guy from ArcaMax.com. Last week he was talking about how there is a problem with communication when you talk about moving a meeting time. Some say they moved the meeting back when they mean back in time and some say it when they mean they moved the meeting back, meaning for a later date. So to ensure that your listeners understand how you mean it, The Word Guy suggests that you just say that the meeting will be held a month later (or earlier). With so much miscommunication, I suggest you clarify it even further by saying, THE MEETING IS AT 8AM ON FRIDAY JUNE 3, 2011. ;D
There’s a similar problem with saying “next week” or “next Thursday.” It’s Tuesday afternoon and you’re talking to your friend who says, “Come over next Thursday and bring the kids.” Does she mean to invite you for not this coming Thursday, but the following Thursday? Or does she really mean next? The very next Thursday is two days from now. But isn’t it odd for someone to call two days from now “next Thursday?” Wouldn’t she simply say, “Come over on Thursday?” So perhaps she means the following Thursday.
So you say something brilliant like, “You mean next Thursday?” And she wonders if you mean this Thursday or the following Thursday so she says, “Well, this next Thursday.” And you still don’t know what Thursday she’s talking about.
You: “So this Thursday?”
Her: “No next Thursday.”
You: “The following Thursday, then?”
Her: “Yes, well, the Thursday after this next Thursday.”
You: “So it is the following Thursday.”
“COME OVER AT NOON ON THURSDAY, JULY 29TH, IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2010. ”
Have you ever had a frustrating conversation where you weren’t sure when the meeting was? Come share!
This is one of the most hilarious I Love Lucy episodes where they discuss communication. It’s about how difficult the English language is, especially in comparison to Spanish. I can relate as I’m a red head married to a Spanish speaking man myself. Check this out and have a giggle on us!
For more Communication FUN, check out Art of Eloquence.com!
Art of Eloquence is fast approaching the completion of its eighth year in business this November. It’s been a very interesting ride so far. I’ve learned a great deal about business, about myself and my faith.
When I wrote my first study, Say What You Mean (for Teens), I really wasn’t thinking of this as a business or even a ministry. It was simply an answer to a homeschool friend’s need for a more comfortable way her shy daughter could learn to communicate more effectively. It was important to me that the approach to overcoming shyness and strengthening communication skills be fun and reflect the teachings that are so prevalent in God’s Word. I have literally found HUNDREDS of scriptures that pertain to communication and many of them contain lessons I studied in the pursuit of my secular degree.
However, as I began to form Art of Eloquence, I quickly learned that not everyone was happy with the ‘God parts.’ The woman in charge of a nearby YMCA said she would love me to come and teach there if only I’d ‘take the God parts out.’ A public school administrator informed me that she’d love to recommend that my studies be used in the district, if only I’d agree to ‘take the God parts out.’ My Dad shared with me that he felt that I’d get a lot more sales if only I’d ‘take the God parts out.’
Over the last eight years, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been offered contracts, money, sales, an enormous venue in which to display my articles if I’d only agree to ‘take the God parts out.’ I just could never bring myself to do it. It felt like I’d be turning my back on the Lord after He had done so much for me. It felt disrespectful, but more than that, it felt wrong.
When I got my degree from a secular university, I felt I had a firm grasp of the concepts I had studied. After all, I had a degree from one of the top ten universities in the country for Speech Communication. When I accepted Christ as my savior, I found greater meaning in the lessons He wrote for us in His Word. It more than enhanced my understanding; it put a necessary perspective on every aspect of human communication. I found that studying speech communication without mentioning what the Bible has to say about it, is like studying automobiles without mentioning Henry Ford.
As the years went by, I began writing more about being an effective witness for Christ both as an example and when discussing our faith with others. That’s when I really had some challenges to my approach! I’ve had people heckle me on internet radio shows and I’ve had some NastyGrams sent to my email. I’ve had people disrupt my online events, send scathing remarks to online groups and one lady who chastised me during a presentation I was asked to give for a group of Christians. I found out later that she was a member of one of my Christian Yahoo groups! She wasn’t aware that I was asked to do this presentation nor was she aware that the presentation was to a group of Christians. She simply felt it was ‘intolerant’ of me to quote scripture and talk about Jesus when there were people who didn’t believe in Him. So she stood up in the virtual chatroom so to speak and told me off, left the room and took several people with her.
Many times what I write cannot be divorced from scripture without diminishing the value or losing the integrity of my message. So, though I’ve been asked many times to ‘take the God parts out, for many reasons, I simply cannot do it and remain true to the voice inside me-the voice God gave me.
I can’t say that I haven’t been tempted. I wish I could report to you that I’ve never once allowed it to cross my mind that I might have much more of a following or more sales if I did ‘take the God parts out.’ And I know that there must be others out there who struggle with this issue whether they are authors or not. I’d like to share a thinking process that I use whenever I am presented with a situation like this. I hope it will help you.
Some Christians are directed by God to write in order to reach unbelievers. Some have missions that speak to the churched. Each of us has to listen to the Lord to determine our own path and then ask ourselves questions periodically that will allow us to keep to the path the Lord has set before us.
What is your mission? What questions do you ask yourself in order that you remain on the path God has for you?
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
For almost 8 years I’ve been talking about the incredible power of speech communication. Words are powerful things. After all, God spoke the world into existence! “God said let there be light and there was. For years I’ve been telling you about the power of words and now I can show you just how powerful words can be…
This sign demonstrates the unbelievable power of words…to forbid dying…at least right there! LOL
For more fun with communication, visit Art of Eloquence.com!
People often mistakenly think that communication is just about the words we speak, but nothing could be further from the truth. Without words, we can still communicate and words alone can deceive. This video is a song called More than Words by Extreme. I don’t know anything about the band, but I like what this song says. It takes more than “I love you” to show someone you do. Anyone can say the words, but to truly convey love takes much “More than Words.”
For more insights into communication, visit Art of Eloquence.com
