Ten Terrific Tips for a Less Trying Tongue

“Be not careless in deeds, nor confused in words, nor rambling in thought.” -Marcus Aelius Aurelius

When we communicate in a confusing way we create uncertainty, hesitation, misunderstanding and offense.  What follows can be hurt feelings, anger and even a dissolution of relationships.  However, being more clear and precise in our speech just takes a little training.  Here are just a few very simple tips for speaking more clearly. In other words…Ten Terrific Tips for a less Trying Tongue.

1. Put Yourself in Your Audience’s Shoes

Trust me.  They won’t mind sharing!  Think about the people to whom you are speaking.  What would they expect?  What might they already know about what you are about to share?  What might they need explained?  What examples would be appropriate, fun, expected, offensive, confusing?

2. Understand their Knowledge of the Topic

Mind reading is an admirable skill, but it doesn’t take magic.  God gives us powers of discernment in order that we use them to help us identify and relate to others.  If you know that Uncle Mortimer doesn’t have a background in computers, you might anticipate that he’d need a wee bit more explanation when you advise him of how to program his Outlook Calendar.

3. Anticipate Questions they Might Have

If Uncle Mortimer doesn’t have a great deal of knowledge about computers, he might not even know what questions he should ask in order for you to help him with his Outlook Calendar.  Since you understand how Outlook works, it would be helpful to Uncle Mortimer (and less time consuming for the conversation) if you anticipated what questions he might have as you instruct him.

4. Splain

For those of you not familiar with Ricky Ricardo, that translates “Explain.”  You may need to explain things you never thought you’d need to depending upon the person(s) you are speaking with and their familiarity with the topic.  Sometimes a simple background before you begin will clear things up immensely.

5. Be brief

When things are complicated, it’s best to be as brief as possible to avoid overwhelming your audience with too much information.  Too much information on a topic someone is completely unfamiliar with can cause confusion even if you explain it well.

6. Don’t Use Technical Terms

One of the fastest ways to confuse someone who has no background in a topic is to use jargon and technical terms.  While you may need to educate him on a term here and there in order to get Uncle Mortimer to find the link you’re talking about, don’t confuse him with additional technical terms that would be more clear if stated using a word he is already familiar with.

7. Don’t Mumble

I’m sure your mother always told you this, but it bears repeating.  As the use of technology has grown into a way of communication life, we have gotten away from what our mothers always told us.  We get lazy and forget to speak clearly.  While mumbling may not adversely affect your in-person conversations about the latest movie release, it could be a source of frustration when talking with Uncle Mortimer who’s having a hard enough time following where to click.

8. E NUN CI ATE

Especially if you find yourself on the phone, but even in person it’s best to enunciate your words in order to avoid “frustratin the begeebers outta yur uncle o’s havin a hard ‘nough time jus tryin a follow along.”

9. Don’tSpeakSoQuicklyThatYourWordsAllRunTogether

And while you’re at it, try not to “smashallyourwordstogether.”   And for the love of clarity don’t combine 8 and 9! “YullbefrustratinUncleMortys’muche’llavacow.”

10. Remain Calm

The most important way to be clear is to remain calm and go with the flow.  Some get so frustrated when someone doesn’t understand them that they begin to frustrate and confuse the other party even more.  Give grace and allow for human error as you go through your conversations.  You’ll probably find a simple way to make yourself understood in no time.

Well, there you have it.  Ten Terrific Tips for a Less Trying Tongue in order that you don’t Trip the Tongue Fantastic. Tune in next time when you’ll have more communication fun than tongue can tell.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication.  Her Christian and humorous approach to communication skills has made her a sought after speaker.  JoJo’s articles have appeared in various homeschool magazines and websites such as Dr. Laura.com.  Her Say What You Mean curricula is endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and her eBook, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business, has been used by direct sales leaders and small business owners alike.  For more information, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Free tips on conflict resolution

My friend, Penny Raine, is having Favorite Friday Freebies on her blog.  She is posting all the free and nearly free items she can find.  Too cool, huh?  She’s asked others to help her find freebies.

I have been offering freebies, gifts and special offers to my newsletter subscribers.  These are all things that are ONLY available for my subscribers.  Well, this month I have started to give away a series of articles on conflict.  I have been giving away tips you can use to avoid conflicts or to resolve conflicts with family, friends and business acquaintances.  These articles will eventually be compiled and turned into a book on conflict, but you can gain all the benefits of my experience right now by simply subscribing to my newsletter, “What’s New at Art of Eloquence?”   The newsletter is free and we will NEVER sell or give away your email address!

In addition to this exclusive series on conflict, you will receive other freebies, special gifts and exclusive offers ONLY for our subscribers.  Click here to subscribe!

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Technology is a Wonderful Thing…Until it Isn’t!

Technology is an amazing tool with which we can enrich our lives by communicating with and learning from people all around the world.  It allows us to have a long distance friendship, keep in touch with our college kids away from home, meet amazing people, build a business faster and more efficiently, and to research and learn things in seconds that would have taken hours or even years the old fashioned way: the card catalog!  However, when technology burps, we can find ourselves in 57 varieties of hot water!

My cable company decided to upgrade their outdated equipment in order to “improve” their service to me and ended up taking down the entire phone, internet and cable for all of their customers within a 10 mile radius…AGAIN!  This made it rather difficult to make my podcast that morning.

My computer, Methuselah of Ancient Rome, has a terminal case of OLD: Often Loses touch with Data!   Ever try typing a Word Doc when your fingers type 80 words a minute but your computer screen only displays at the rate of 6 letters per minute? That new eBook o’ mine’ll be ready in 2034!  It also makes for interesting email, Facebook and Twitter posts because it’s difficult to gauge how many letters are being deleted when you backspace after an error.  Additionally, you are hard pressed to know exactly what you clicked on because the screen will scroll up and down indiscriminately.

The magnetic strip on my debit card once rendered itself useless.  They say it’s because my wallet has a magnetic closure.  So after finding the perfect gift for my daughter for Christmas, the last one left on the shelf…

A few weeks ago, I had a problem that I don’t even know enough about in order to place blame.  The upshot was that I could receive emails but I couldn’t send.  It lasted for a few days giving an internet friend of mine cause to wonder if I was mad at her because I wasn’t responding when she knew I was home working on my computer!

Over the last few months I have had someone try to subscribe to our newsletter using a Yahoo group’s email address (the email you use to send a message to an entire Yahoo group).  Since I don’t belong to that Yahoo group, the message comes back undeliverable and I have no way of letting her know why she hasn’t received the newsletter.

Methuselah once decided he didn’t want to keep all my internet passwords anymore.  So when I went into Yahoo Groups and Aweber and my online banking, etc. I was unable to prove I was really me even though, at that moment, I didn’t think anyone would really want the job!!

Technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t.  So what’s a techno communicator to do?  Well, since I am now well versed in the art of communicating when technology burps, I’ll share some tips with you.

1. If you know your computer is having some issues, when you are able, put out a message to your Yahoo group or friend or Facebook page letting folks know.  When they don’t hear from you, they’ll have an inkling that your Methuselah is down with a serious case of e-Altzheimer’s.

2. If you know a friend is waiting for an email from you that you can’t get through, take a few minutes to call and let her know that she’ll be waiting a wee bit longer.

3. If you are having an email issue but do not have a phone number for the person, you can look it up on the web (provided that is still working of course!).  I once had an issue getting an email to a small business owner.  I didn’t know her well enough to have her phone number but I knew the name of her business.  I Googled and found her website, looked up her contact page where I found her phone number.

4. Slow the rate of your typing down to more closely match the speed at which your computer is displaying it.  Not only is it easier to follow, but it keeps you from making mistakes that have to be backspaced and corrected.  It also keeps you from clicking on things you don’t mean to click on because you are ahead of yourself.

5. Keep a hard copy record of all your online passwords.  I used to have a copy of it in my computer, but it was in a part of the computer that was having “issues” that day!

6. Buy quality if you can!  As a person who was always having to save a buck, I can’t tell you how many times I ended up causing myself more time, trouble and money by not spending more up front for something that would last.  This may require a little persuasive communication either with yourself or your spouse.

If you follow these simple Techno Trouble Avoidance Rules, you will have more effective and stress free communication when technology burps because technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Serving up a new co host at Grace Talk Soup!

For the last two years I have been “Boldly Serving Up God’s Word with a Side Order of Grace and Humor” over at Grace Talk Soup.  It’s been such fun and the feedback on the show has been truly amazing!  I have had the opportunity to interview the most inspiring guests!  Let me engage in a little name-dropping:

Stephen Kendrick, Co author of The Love Dare and Fireproof!

Pastor Bob Cushman, author of What if You Pray?

Lorrie Flem, publisher of TEACH Magazine

Bette Dowdell, author of How to Be a Christian without being Annoying

FIMM, Hear Foot in Mouth Man speak for the first time!

Capt’n Richie, Coma Survivor!

Cindy Rushton, of Talk A Latte and UHSE shares her testimony on air for the first time!

Cathi-Lyn Dyck, shares her story of the side effects of her abortion and what the Drs don’t tell you!

Bill Phillips, Street Evangelist in the news who was threatened with arrest as he shared the Gospel!

Next week marks Grace Talk Soup’s two year anniversary and I have BOLD NEWS to share!  In her third year, Grace Talk Soup will be serving up more communication tips and instruction and even more HUMOR because Grace Talk Soup will be serving up a bold new CO HOST!

Want to know who it is?  You’ll have to tune into the show today to find out!  How?

To join us live via your computer: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736

To join us live via your phone: (724) 444-7444 Call ID: 19736

Grace Talk Soup is recorded live each Thursday at 8am PST/11am EST.  If you miss the show, you do miss the live interaction and the ability to voice your opinons and ask your questions BUT you can listen in any time you like to the recordings by visiting the talkcast, scrolling down to “Past Episodes” and clicking on the orange “listen” button next to the show that interests you.

Want some hints about my FUN new co host?  OK…

She’s a long-time dear friend that I have spoken of on Communication FUNdamentals a few times before.  In fact, I have blogged about her quite RECENTLY. (WINK WINK)

For those who may know her, she shares my passion for words, has an incredible sense of humor and a vast knowledge of history.  She’s actually been on the show before.  Can you guess?  If you have an idea, post it here!

If you want to hear her say a quick hello and hear more about the exciting changes we are planning for our listeners, tune in to Grace Talk Soup and hear what’s On the Menu this morning!

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