children

Hardest Part About Being a Mom is Keeping Them Alive?!

September 3, 2013 by Art of Eloquence

“The hardest part about being a mom is I have to keep a human being alive.” Seriously?! Pretty Wicked Moms is a “reality show” on Lifetime that is not to be taken seriously. However, when I saw the preview for this, the mom in me was highly insulted. And I think all moms should be…all REAL moms I should say. Not only that, but I felt as if so many moms I run into on the street these days seem to have taken this line to heart. My thoughts on the matter:

If you think that just keeping your child alive is the hard part, you’re not really a mom. You’re a baby sitter, a care giver, a trained monkey mom, but you aren’t a real mom no matter what reality show you’re in! Keeping a human being alive is the EASY part! There’s nothing much to it. A real mom loves, educates, trains, reprimands, prepares, supports and prays over her child! A real mom instills values, trains up a child in the way he should go, and tells him about God and how much he is loved by Him. A real mom is so much more than just someone who makes sure little Johnny is fed and wears the latest baby clothes. A real mom takes more than that. It takes heart and often blood, sweat and tears.

This line of thinking is a dangerous idea to adopt as your children will suffer. If you think your job is just to keep them alive, you are missing the most important part of motherhood and you are depriving your child of love, nurturing, education, preparation, self esteem, and so much more.

You may be thinking that’s not me, but so many of us moms are so tired and overwhelmed that we forget that we are here to do more than just keep our children safe. Have you hugged your son today? Have you taught him, instead of doing it FOR him? Have you spent time getting to know your teen? Have you asked your daughter how she feels about things? Have you talked more about your Me Time? Have you posted on Facebook that you can’t wait for school to start so the kids aren’t under foot?

I think we have all fallen for this line of thinking at times. May God keep us moms on the straight and narrow to be the role model, teacher, and supporter that God expects of us and not a woman who is more concerned with her own needs that she neglects the needs of the precious souls God put in our care.

NOTE: Don’t forget to submit your communication questions to jojo@artofeloquence.com for my monthly Ask JoJo section of my blog. I’ll pick one question per month to answer right here on the blog! You can ask anything related to communication skills from a tip on how not to be nervous making a speech to what games your kids can play that will help them hone their communication skills and even if your website or blog is clearly written!

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Filed Under: Communication Reviews Tagged With: children, educator, God, LIfetime, moms, Pretty Wicked Moms, supporter, teacher

Communication Lessons from Five Year Olds-Part 4

November 2, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

FIRST A NOTE: I hope you all had a great time at the Birthday Bash yesterday! I had a ball and learned a LOT from my guest “speakers.” Due to an infestation of the Gundar Kind (our techie gremlin), we had some techie issues with the coupon code and various other sundry glitches so we are extending our contests and 50% off sale for a day or two until we can work out the details. That’ll give more of you a chance anyway. It was a very fun but VERY LONG day. My fingers are still sore for typing 120 words a minute for 12 hours straight.

A BIG thank you to Traci of Your Web Tech Team for keeping our site up all throughout the Birthday Bash. I think this is the first time I’ve been to one where the server didn’t crash! And folks were downloading and posting like crazy!

Another big thank you to my family for putting up with me, or rather NOT putting up with me as I sat here all day and worked. And especially to my son, Chris for making me lunch.

Okay, here’s the final installment of my article series.

I hope you’ve been enjoying this article series. To recap if you are just joining the blog, we can learn four very important things about communication from young children. As we grow and age, we become more sophisticated, but also we lose a lot of our wide eyed innocence which can be extremely helpful in communication with others.

Lesson one shared how we should Speak Plainly. Lesson two says to Listen Wide-Eyed. Lesson three is Don’t Let Anyone Distract You. Here is the final lesson we can learn from five year olds. Lesson Four: Be Yourself!

Young children are who they are. They very rarely hide it. In fact, they don’t know they can and they don”t think they should. Adults learn that in order to be accepted, we need to conform. In order to be promoted, we may need to comply. In order to be effective, we may need to play the game. Let’s face it, if our kids did this, we’d call it pretend.

Adults often loose some of their sense of self as we play the game of life. We get away from what we want because of what we need. We move away from who we are in favor of who we think others need us to be.

When I was a kid, I was weird. “They” called me that. “They” is the popular kids. I moved around a lot as a kid and, since I was shy, it was hard to fit in anyway. However, being different (weird) made it that much more difficult. I was the one who didn’t have a history with them. I was the outsider. I was the one who said “dungarees” instead of “jeans.” I had a “pocket book” instead of a “purse.” I loved words and music not designer Sasoon labels (Okay, I just gave away my age there!) and I talked about justice and fairness while my peers talked about boys and beauty. I was the short one, the creative nerd.

Maybe you felt that way. Adults thought it was cute when I was young, but as I grew older, I found my peers didn’t agree. I tried to fit in. I tried not to be a weirdo. I didn’t try long because it just didn’t work and I was miserable being someone else.

So I learned very early in life what my daughter calls “Embracing Your Inner Weirdness.” And when I accepted Jesus, I realized that this is who God created me to be anyway.

Another lesson I learned after studying communication skills for many years is that, while children may want everyone to be the same, adults find that boring. Adults want to spend time with an individual, but by that time most of us have already spent too many years trying to be someone else. My advice to you is DON’T.

I’m five foot nuthin’, have an extremely goofy sense of humor, wear thick glasses, and love purple so much it’s the only color I wear. It’s me. It’s who I am and you know what? People remember me. They appreciate my creativity.

Don’t be like everyone else. God created you to be special. As you go about life trying to live as Christ would have you, also remember to be the person God crated you to be and not a carbon copy of someone else. He already created someone to be that guy!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: accepted Jesus, adults, be yourself, children, Jesus, weird

Communication Lessons From 5 year olds-Part 1

October 24, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Little children are inexperienced in communication, but as I will share over the next two weeks, we can all learn some valuable communication lessons from them.

Lesson number one: Speak Plainly.

Adults say, “The honour of your presence is requested at the…blah blah blah…” Adults go to great lengths to use the right words, the perfect invitation and the most respectful language, but at the end of the day, it can often sound confusing, standoffish or pompous.

Children say, “Wanna come to my party?” Children put things simply, succinctly and honestly. They don’t worry about how it sounds. They just say what they mean and because they don’t know big fancy words, they don’t use them. Children don’t send mixed messages. They don’t use subtlety. They don’t mince words. They come right out and say what’s on their mind. It’s clear, bold and honest.

As adults, we do need to watch our tone and choose our words carefully, but we can all learn simplicity from our children. Winston Churchill said it best, “The short words are best, and the old words are best of all.”

I’ll be back on Wednesday with another communication lesson from five year olds. Until then…Bye!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: children, communication, communication lessons, honestly, lessons, simply, Winston Churchill

Part 2: Should Your Child Be on Facebook?

September 5, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Last week I shared part one of Should Your Child Be on Facebook? I shared the benefits of allowing your older child to have a Facebook account. I’ll bet there were some things that surprised you, weren’t there? Well, this week, I might surprise you again when I share the drawbacks and even the dangers of having your child on Facebook.

One big Facebook No No is if your child is under age. Don’t start too young. Facebook rules say you have to be 13 to create an account. The only way around this is if you lie. I’ve met some parents–even Christian parents–who tell me they allow their 11 year old children to misrepresent their age to Facebook in order to get an account. Not only is this against the rules, but this is a bad lesson to communicate to your children: it’s okay to lie sometimes. You may not come right out and say so, but this communicates the message indirectly.

Privacy is another issue that we all have to contend with on a public social network like Facebook. It’s even more of a challenge for the young who believe they are invincible. Nothing bad can happen to them! They’re Super Kid! Laugh not for this is what many young people think is true of many issues. It’s actually a recent scientific discovery that teenagers brains do not yet allow them to think things through as adults do. They tend to make rash decisions. It’s so easy to give away too much information on the net and that can land you in trouble with friends or open you to potentially harmful consequences.

If you’re a homeschooler, you’ve often been asked, “What about socialization?” Well, what about it on Facebook? If your child is on Facebook and you are not monitoring it closely, he could end up friends with folks that give him the wrong kind of socialization. There is a growing trend to be less cordial and much more brazen when you don’t have to look the other person in the eye. This may not be the kind of social time you want your 13 year old to have.

Too much time online may discourage in person friendships and take time away from homework, chores or family interaction.

While Facebook may be a great way to ease shy people into communication situations as we talked about last week, it is also an easy way for shy people to retreat into themselves and avoid human contact. They may become comfortable socializing ONLY if they are not face to face with someone. This may have the reverse effect.

As a corollary to being treated badly by others on Facebook, the idea that nobody can see you may make children feel like these relationships are not real which will allow them to feel more inclined to treat people with less grace themselves. This behavior may transfer over to real life.

Finally, children may have a problem choosing their friends wisely. It may be hard to police their Facebook activities fully. This may leave them time to friend people with whom you may not want them to have contact. If you have a Facebook account and are friends with your child, he may get a friend invitation from one of your adult friends. This may make him feel uncomfortable about saying no and/or may open this person’s friends to do the same.

These are just a few of the issues, dangers or drawbacks in allowing your child to have a Facebook account. I think each child is different and each parent will need to take these issues into account before deciding whether or not to grant permission to each child and at what age.

What has your experience been with children on Facebook? What do you think is the right age for your child? What considerations, restrictions or instructions have you given your children? Or do you allow them to be on at all? Share!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: children, consequences, Facebook, friends, homeschooler, socialization

Should your child be on FB? Part 1

August 29, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Some say Facebook is a blessing allowing you easily to keep in touch with friends and family, meet like-minded people, help you find a job or even market your business. Others say Facebook is a waste of time and, too easily, an invasion of your privacy. I say Facebook is a tool, a communication tool, much like email, the cell phone and your mouth. What you get out of it often depends upon your input, expectations and most of all, how you use it.

But is it a good idea for your children? In this article I’m going to share the benefits and drawbacks of allowing your children to have a Facebook account. Due to the length of this article, I am going to break it down into two parts. In this first part, I’ll cover the benefits of allowing your child to have a Facebook account. Next Monday, I’ll post part two in which I’ll discuss the drawbacks. You may be quite surprised at what I have to share on both sides of the issue!

One of the benefits of allowing your son or daughter to have a Facebook account is that it is a fantastic way to hone his communication skills. By interacting with friends and family on Facebook, your child will learn to tailor his message to each individual as he posts comments on Grandma’s wall or to little Jimmy who moved away last month. He’ll also gain description skills that communicating via the phone or in person would not afford him. Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are absent from Facebook posts. It becomes necessary for Bobby to effectively describe the school project he had to do for history class instead of just show it to Jimmy. Facebook, if used in this manner can help increase his writing skills, especially if Bobby utilizes the Notes feature in order to write up his views expressed in his paper on Abortion. There are many examples of communication lessons to be learned by allowing your son or daughter to express themselves in writing on Facebook. These are but a few.

A second benefit of allowing your son or daughter to have a Facebook account is in increasing his expertise when interacting with folks of different beliefs and cultures. I’ll talk about the warnings of allowing your young children to get on or friend people he doesn’t know in part two, but let’s assume Bobby is 16 and has relatives in other states or countries. What a wonderful opportunity to learn about their culture and experiences! He’ll learn how other cultures see the world, how they live and may even see pictures recently taken of the Liberty Bell, or the Washington Monument or Big Ben!

An additional advantage is that your child will learn how communication works in the technological age they live in and will work in. Many companies are now hiring people to man Twitter and Facebook accounts in order to help customers who post they are having trouble with their company or product. I’ve had a very large company contact me via the social networking sites after I posted that I was having a hard time with one of their products. He helped me solve the problem! While your son may not be hired to do this, he will very likely need to understand the inner workings of communication in the technological age. In addition, Facebook has been used to catch criminals, to find a job, to recover a child during an Amber Alert and to ask for help or prayer with some serious matters. Facebook is not only the wave of the future, it is a most efficient way to disseminate information and get feedback!

Facebook is also a great way to stay in touch with family around the country build relationships with them and friends who moved away. I mentioned this earlier, but this may be the only way Bobby can have much of a relationship with his brother who is deployed or his grandmother who is back east. I have found Facebook to be a blessing in staying connected with my daughter while she has been 1800 miles away at college, when she was half way around the world as a Russian exchange student for a semester and when she was on a missions trip in Israel for two weeks!

Finally, Facebook is a fabulous start to overcoming shyness. Shy people are more likely to make friends or talk to friends if they can do so without having to be intimidated face-to-face. This can help build their confidence and self esteem enabling them to transition from online communication to in person conversations.

As you can see, Facebook is simply a tool. Used correctly, it can enhance your child’s communication skills and friendships. However, there are also some dangers. I’ll talk about them next week.

Can you think of any other benefits of allowing your (age appropriate) child to have a Facebook account? Share your stories and experiences with my readers!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: children, college, communication, communication skills, Facebook, Family, friends, friendships, shyness

I’m on the Homeschool Netcast Tomorrow

August 3, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

There’s a new YouTube podcast channel for homeschoolers this year called the Homeschool Netcast Network. The show is hosted by Gerald McKoy, a Christian, Husband, and Father of 5 homeschooled boys. He is also currently serving as the Vice President on the Board of Directors of the Christian Home Educators Association of California (CHEA of CA).

Homeschool Netcast Network is devoted to supporting the existing homeschool community and evangelizing more christian parents to homeschool their children by providing news, interviews, and inspiring stories found within the homeshcool community.

I’m honored to have been asked to be interviewed and am looking forward to sharing my homeschool story with their audience tomorrow.

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Filed Under: Art of Eloquence News Tagged With: Art of Eloquence News, CA, channel, CHEA, children, Christian, Christian Home Educators Association of California, Gerald McKoy, homeschool community, Homeschool Netcast Network, homeschoolers, interviews, YouTube

NEW: Interview w/a Communicator

June 13, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

We have a new feature here on Communication FUNdamentals called Interview with a Communicator. We all communicate every day of our lives and communication touches every aspect of it. So…each week, I’m going to bring you a blog interview with someone in a different ministry, business or time of life to share with you. Each will share the mission God has them on and how effective communication plays an important role. We begin with a friend I met online.

BeckyJoie Thombs Oakes is a “multiple hat wearer” and a free-lance writer. She spends her time volunteering to work with youth as well as lay-counseling ministries at a local Christian counseling center. She has three sons. She lives with her husband, two of her sons and their Yorkshire terrier in Leesburg, FL. Always uplifting and gracious, she puts a smile on the faces of those all around her. I know you will enjoy her. Here we go…

1. Please tell us a little about yourself.

I like to describe myself as a multiple hat wearer. I am first and foremost a wife and therapeutic mom. By that I mean that I help children from abusive and troubled backgrounds. My husband and I have adopted two teenage boys through foster care and have an older son who is in college preparing for a law career. In my spare time, I am a youth worker, middle school Sunday school teacher, lay-counselor, health consultant and a health food business person. I never have time to be bored. I love helping people. It fuels me.

2. What is a typical day in the life of Becky Joie?

Currently, I homeschool my two boys, ages 15 and 17 but during the day, I run my health businesses from home and do therapeutic respite for whoever the Lord sends my way. This includes dealing with a great deal of behavior management in troubled children so we keep very occupied with outdoors activities and routine household chores. It requires a stable schedule with a tiny bit of flexibility so my day is often planned from 6am until 11pm or later, depending on issues that come up during the day.

3. I love hearing people’s testimony! Please share how you came to know the Lord and how important The Great Commission is to a believer.

I was raised in a Christian home. My family had an evangelistic ministry performing puppets, music, chalk drawing and preaching. I am told by my parents that I gave my life to the Lord as a 5 year old but I really did not remember it, although I remember being baptized. When I was in the 4th grade, our family settled in a church that was very strong on keeping God’s law but not especially skilled in grace. Through a series of events and time in a restrictive environment, I became hurt and turned away from the Lord for a brief while in my adulthood. I had been in an abusive marriage where I had my oldest son. My ex-husband was a pastor. We divorced to due his abuse and unfaithfulness. Even after we had been separated for a few years, I was still not over it. I was very angry about this and ran from the Lord for a while. Then, I was invited to a Calvary Chapel home bible study. It was there I felt God’s love and mercy but was also convicted for sin in my life so I re-committed my life to the Lord. Then I learned that God really loved me, that I was definitely a sinner in need of a Savior. I learned that God was not a bully waiting for me to trip up so He could hit me with a club of punishment but that He really loved me, wanted to forgive me and give me a new life. I gave my heart to Him and turned away from the world. It was one of the toughest things I ever did but I’m so glad I did it. That was about 15 years ago. I’ve served the Lord gratefully ever since. A couple of years after splitting with my ex-husband, I met my husband, Doug, who is a wonderful, godly man.

4. How many years have you been married and how important has effective communication been in your marriage?

As of June 2011, we will have been married for 14 years. We were put together by “Godcident”, we like to say. Paired up in a Christian musical, we became very good friends. We didn’t even know that we liked each other more. Other people had to point it out. At one point, he tried to tell me that he liked me and said, “I’m so glad we are friends.” I was DEVASTATED. I had begun to realize I liked him as more and thought he was saying he only like me as a friend. He saw a man kind of following me around and thought I was taken already. This also did not help. We didn’t communicate about it at all. It took a mutual friend of ours to mend the communication gap. Thank God for friends! I would hate to think I missed out on a wonderful husband because we did not communicate how we felt to each other.

5. Share with us your greatest blessings and challenges you have had as a parent.

My type of parenting is a cross between therapeutic parenting and the “Love and Logic” style. I need to be very careful to keep my tone of voice mild and cheerful even when disciplining as tenseness can trigger fears of abuse or anger in the children that I help. I also have to be very cautious with humor as the children are sensitive and might feel ridiculed. With my oldest son, it was different. He was a rascal but he had a great sense of humor. He had a knack for embarrassing me. One time he hid inside an old pulpit at the base of the stairs in an old church building and waited for ladies to come down the stairs. He would jump out and scare them. Screams would echo across the church. That would be when I would find out what he did and want to crawl under a rock. Another time, he told a sharp looking single man that I went to the doctor to get a shot in my rear end. Humiliating! Sometimes working with troubled teens can bring embarrassment as well. When a teen throws a tantrum ( throwing things, yelling, stomping feet, cussing) in public because they don’t get the yogurt they want in the store and they won’t wait to discuss it in private OR else when one has wild behavior and climbs atop a grocery display and I have to talk to them in a sweet, calm voice, it can be quite unnerving to wonder what people think of our family. I overcome this by telling myself that it does not matter what others think and that I need to parent my children and my temporary charges the way that they need me to parent them because I answer to God and not strangers who don’t know the circumstances. Of course, we use discipline but it looks very different from what others use so there is no way between the behaviors and our discipline style that we are going to look normal to anyone who does not understand these things. My biggest challenge is parenting against normal logic because this parenting style is unique to parents who do what I do.

6. What is your favorite scripture and share what God is communicating to you personally through it.

I love Ephesians 3:14-21 which talks about knowing the love of God and being stirred up in Him. I think that is the answer to healing any hurt and motivating all Christian service. Love is the key. That is my prayer—that all who come into my pathway will know God and His love.

7. You have a unique ministry/business. How important is effective communication for you as you go about your daily activities?

Communication is 24/7 job here. I must communicate in a way that can be received by hurting children. I must teach them how to communicate through words instead of poor actions. I must teach them how to express emotion appropriately. Most important is the modeling of how we communicate with our Lord for every need, every fear, every want, every time we need forgiveness or to tell Him that we love Him. They will see what a true parent is like if they see me trusting God. He is the ultimate parent. In our home, prayer is a communication about trust/faith as well as communication with God. I am so blessed when one of my kids “gets it” and sees me with a headache. He comes and lays hands on my head and asks God to heal me. Other times, one child will be frustrated with the behavior of another. They will mimic my quiet, under the breath prayer before responding to the child who is irritating them. Then I know I’ve communicated faith and trust well to them.

8. What forms of communication do you use in your ministry/business? Which one is your favorite and why?
I use many forms of communication with my kids, from letters, to songs, to stories and even signs on the wall. Storytelling is very helpful to relay empathy. If they can see how they would feel in a given situation, then they can learn to empathize with others.

With my health business, I use social media such as Facebook and Twitter. I have used blogging but lately I’ve just been too busy for that. Facebook is most effective because you can communicate with many more people and interact much more quickly. You are not just putting your message/product out there but you also get to develop relationships with your customers and provide much better customer service.

9. What are the challenges in communicating in other ways?

I’m not a phone person really. I like to see people’s faces or see their words in front of me. This could be because I am a visual person and have some auditory processing issues with noise. I prefer in-person or in written and electronic communication. That way I can mull over what is said more before reacting and I won’t miss something important.

10. If you could go back in time and give yourself advice about a misunderstanding you had in the past, what would you tell yourself?

That is a tough one. I think that in my past, I would have communicated more rather than clamming up. I think I would have thought more before reacting. There are so many things we can improve in communication. We are all students with so much to learn.

11. How can we learn more about you and your business/ministry?

Right now, I am in the development stages of the therapeutic parenting fan page. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Christian-Therapeutic-Parenting/193811603983441

My business page for health food is: http://www.beyondorganicinsider.com/becomeaninsider.aspx?enroller=4382 The company will open in October of 2011 but I’m beginning to build the business beforehand because I believe in Jordan Rubin, the creator, and his ideas for health and nutrition .

I also sell Nature’s Sunshine Products. You may contact me via email at rjeremiah2911@embarqmail.com for information on vitamins, supplements and natural health resources.

12. Any final thoughts you’d like to leave us with today?

I just want to thank you, JoJo, for working so hard to teach people about communication. I feel that what you are doing is one of the most important ministries that the church could have and it’s also a business that could help others in their own personal and professional lives. Communication is not just telling people everything. I’ve heard it said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Thanks so much for sharing with my readers, BeckyJoie! You are a blessing and inspiration to so many!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: attachment parenting, business, children, Christian, communication, communicator, effective communication, Fl, foster care, Godcident, gracious, health food, homeschooling, interview, Leesburg, letters, Lord, marriage, ministry, misunderstanding, parenting, scripture, signs, songs, stories, testimony, The Great Commission, theraputic mom, uplifting

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

October 6, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills
By JoJo Tabares

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, have deeper relationships, longer marriages, are more successful, make more money and are generally happier than their less articulate counterparts. The Lord felt communication skills so important for our lives that He mentions communication skills literally HUNDREDS of times in His Word.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

Most people think communication is an elective, a speech class, a skill only lawyers and politicians need, something you learn by osmosis just by talking. If I were to tell you that math was an elective, you’d think I was nutz. Math is a core subject that everyone needs, right? Yes, but how many times did the Lord mention math in the Bible? He saw fit to mention communication skills hundreds of times!

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech? According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

So when we are having a conversation, we are really making a series of mini speeches in response to another’s mini speeches. When we are disciplining our children, we are making a mini speech. And when we are trying to convince our neighbor to be more careful of our begonias, are we not making a speech?

Talking doesn’t make you an excellent communicator any more than painting makes you Thomas Kinkaid! They say practice makes perfect, but while at my son’s golf class yesterday, the instructor reminded me that it isn’t practice that makes perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect!

How good is Tiger Woods? He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

If you aren’t getting proper instruction, you aren’t learning excellence! Nobody questions that Tiger Woods needs a coach though he is considered the best golfer in the world right now! So why is that we hear folks say, “Oh I took a speech course once back in high school”? Do you think Tiger took one golf lesson back in high school?

If your education, your relationships, your career, your family, your children’s future, your financial security and your happiness all depend upon the effectiveness of your communication, why aren’t you studying it? Why aren’t you teaching your children? Isn’t it time to start?

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: business, children, communication skills, education, employees, friends, happiness, job, marriage, relatives, Subscribe Here!, top ten reasons

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

May 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech? According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

How good is Tiger Woods? He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

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My College Girl is Home!

April 29, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Last year we graduated our first born from our homeschool. I was so proud of her for all the late nights studying for SAT’s and AP Exams while her friends were out having a good time. She did most of the research on college prep the two years prior to her graduation and learned so much that she wrote a book to help other college-bound homeschoolers reach their collegiate goals!

It was also a sad day when we dropped her at the airport to fly the 1800 miles to move in to her dorm-her home away from home. At first, there were days I couldn’t walk by her room without crying. She was with me every day for 18 years and now she was gone. Just when she was fun to be around, fun to sing harmony with, fun to talk to about life, she was 1800 miles away and living a new life with new friends and I couldn’t see her sweet face.

After a while, the sadness left and a new relationship began to blossom, one in which I was not the main character in her life. She started off calling a few times a day, but our daily phone conversations became once every few days peppered with emails and Facebook comments occasionally.

My biggest fear, as a mom, was that she wouldn’t need me anymore and yet that is also my greatest wish! Isn’t that odd? Our job is work ourselves out of a job! LOL We are charged with bringing them up in the way they should go and, when they go, we wish they’d stay.

But she called when she was sick, when she was lonely, when she was excited, when she aced a test, when her professor came over to congratulate her on a paper well done. She called to talk to her 9 y/o brother when she missed him and to tell us all about the funny things she and her friends would do. She called when she was upset because a friend’s sister was in a car accident and she asked for prayer. She called when she was unsure about what to tell a friend and to tell us that she was struggling with a class assignment.

And now, here she is, having just finished her freshman year at Vanderbilt University. She’s a Sophomore now! The year went so fast! After the first few months, the rest is sort of a blur. It seemed to whiz by without warning. Only three years left and the next three years may not see her home in the summers.

So we picked her up from the airport last night. There she was sporting her new Christian sorority T Shirt and shocked at the sight of her father who finally got his glasses after years of eye doctors and various diagnoses. She hugged her brother who is now much taller than he was when she left. She didn’t know where the dishes were in the new house because we had only lived here two weeks before she moved out.

We took her upstairs to her room behind the closed door for her big surprise. While she was taking finals and packing, we were busy painting her bright, hot pink room her favorite color: green! We set up some new things in her room to make her more comfortable while she is with us and gave her a green bag of green stuff to go in her new green room. She loved it!

We sat up talking for a while until yours truly got sleepy and had to turn in. She and her dad are night owls. They stayed up. I can’t wait til she wakes up this morning to spoil her some more. I can’t wait to hear all about her adventure this year. I can’t wait to spend time with her this summer! She’s still my baby girl.

I’m so glad we built such a special relationship while she was young. I thank God for her willingness to keep in touch and for the fact that she still feels like she wants our opinion. I am so blessed that she has become the lovely, young, faith-filled young woman she has!

Now life seems complete as both my children are here. My college girl is home!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: children, college girl, college prep, relationships

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