So I’m sitting in the living room listening to the lilting sounds of my dd playing the keyboard last night when I hear…

“MOM!  FLIES!”

Sure enough I see approximately 4 or 5 flies on the window behind the blinds.  How’d they get in here?  All the windows are closed cuz the air conditioning is on 24/7 cuz it’s 110 degrees in Phoenix cuz it’s SUMMER in the DESERT!

I run to get the fly swatter and, shhhh…  “Be wewy wewy qwiet!  I’m hunting Fwies!  Eeeee eeee eeee!”

As I begin “Fly Massacre at Tabares Mannor”, it’s like a bug horror movie.  Each time I kill a fly, another comes to take its place.  The replacements are smarter and more agile than their “ancectors”!  You’ve heard of Smart Bombs?  These are Smart Bugs!

We count 9 and there’s no end in sight so I continue with my weapon of choice, my trusty Fly Slaughter…er…Fly Swatter!   My aim is accurate and deadly.  We’re up to 14 and something just whizzed by my ear!  It’s a full scale Fly Invasion!  They’ve taken up residence and invited their family and friends.  They’re EVERYWHERE and they’re MULTIPLYING!

Now it’s a 21 Fly Salute!  I think it’s over, but alas, here comes a few more for good measure!  22!

It seems the last two have been watching and taking notes from their hiding places somewhere in the relative obscurity of the corners of my living room. One sails by me.  I swat at the air, desperate to eliminate the possibility of reliving a past unsuccessful Fly Battle where we inadvertently left a Fly Mom alive to give birth to a new army of Insectified Invader Hatchlings!  I had discovered their presence when walking barefoot that morning on my kitchen floor only to find maggots so thick I could barely step without, well…  Ewwww!

At final count there were 27 flies who fell at the Bay of Flies Invasion last night with the Tabares Swatter Army suffering only minor wrist injuries.

Wait…what’s that noise?

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