Are you a good Christian Example on Facebook?

I’m starting a new series on the blog called, “What Does Your _____ Say About You?” I’m going to highlight some of the things we may not think about when we consider communication. However, this is especially important as we consider what kind of Christain example we are as we go through our day.  Here is an article I wrote a while back for Examiner.com.  So…What does your Facebook Page Say About You?

Are You  a Good Christian Example on Facebook?

By JoJo Tabares

But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” -Acts 1:8

I’m probably preaching to the choir, but maybe you could pass this along.  I see so many friend requests from people on Facebook who, with their words, declare they are Christian, but with their profile picture, posts and the fan pages they “like” say otherwise.  Once you declare yourself a Christian, the world is watching and judging.  Are you a good example (witness) of Christ in your corner of the Facebook neighborhood?

1. Sultry Eyes

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.  Your profile picture is sometimes the only thing a prospective Facebook friend can see.  Make sure it’s a good representation.  Oh most people do go to the trouble of making sure they look nice.  They only put up a picture that caught them on a good hair day, but did your profile picture catch you on a good soul day?  Does your picture say, “I’m sexy?”  Do your eyes suggest you are looking for a relationship or do they really only suggest you are looking for one thing?  Are you wearing your Sunday best or your bikini?  Are you enticing men with your expression or are you displaying a friendly demeanor?  Remember, ladies.  Men are visual creatures.  This is why God put this verse in His Word:

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” -1 Timothy 2:9-10

2. Foul Language

Yes, as strange as this sounds, I often seen professing Christians reply to people who disagree with them using foul language.  In fact, I have seen a professing Christian reply to people she did agree with this way too!  Foul language, especially from women, is not something that even today’s secular society accepts.  All too often, I see men using foul language in public, around women and children.  Such a thing wasn’t acceptable when I was a young girl.  Now it is commonplace.  Somehow, though, seeing it in print (or text as the case may be) is just a bit more crude and shocking especially coming from a man or woman of God.

3. Suggestive Pictures

My office is also where my son does his school work.  From his desk, he can see over his computer to mine and I can’t tell you how many times a Christian Facebook friend has shocked me by posting a picture of a woman draped in only a sheet or…LESS!  Even if I didn’t have little eyes peering over at me, I don’t have any desire to see these kinds of pictures.  If I see this type of thing while responding to a friend request, I don’t accept.  However, when I see this type of thing after I accept and saw that this person proclaims Christianity, I am saddened at the example this person is setting for his/her friends and friends of friends.

4. Un-Christian by Association

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.” -2 Corinthians 6:14-17

Christianity isn’t a smorgasbord and it doesn’t live in a vacuum.   How we act, what we say and who we associate ourselves with set an example for those who are watching.  If you profess Christianity, yet post pictures from a group you belong to that has foul language in its title, what type of example are you setting?  If you think, nobody will notice, you’re wrong.  What happens when someone really likes that picture and wants to check out where it came from or share it on their wall?   Like it or not, by posting a picture shared from a group like this, you are actually communicating that you endorse it—even if you don’t.

Facebook is an online party.  You may not realize it, but you’re building a reputation in a public place.  We need to be a good, Christian example or we invite others to stumble in their faith.  I submit to you that not being careful of your public reputation can also stumble your own faith.  You can’t claim Christianity and then act as if you are part of the world.  It doesn’t wash.  I’ve heard some say they do and say these things in order to relate better with unbelievers.  However, I want you to consider that most of the time when we compromise what we know is right, it’s not the unbeliever who is influenced.  It is us.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Is your speech too cluttered?

On Monday, I talked about decluttering your communication by taking out the unnecessary words and phrases.  Today I’d like to talk about Cluttered Communication or Cluttered Speech.  While searching the web last week, I found an article about cluttered speech on a website devoted primarily to stammering.

The article talks mostly about the author’s experience with both stammering and cluttering which had made it even more difficult for him to hold a conversation with people.  The side bar defined cluttering:

“What is cluttering? Cluttering is defined as a communication disorder characterised by a rapid rate of speech that may come out too fast without proper pronunciation and be somewhat erratic. Cluttered thoughts can make it difficult to express yourself clearly.

Speech can become unintelligible. Phrase patterns can be uneven, some of the phrases or sentences can become interlaced with different sounds, and the context may be difficult to understand. People who clutter may sound as though they are drunk. Their speech can be slurred and they may find it difficult to respond easily to people’s comments.

Sometimes the speaker is unaware that their speech is disfluent at all; others are aware but seem unable to do anything about it. Many people wrongfully categorize clutterers with stammerers. Although this is incorrect, there are similarities.”

Cluttered communication affects more than just those who stutter or stammer.  For many, it’s simply become a habit to speak so quickly and/or slur their words such that their listeners find it difficult to understand them.  In my research of gifted children, I came across some information that suggested that highly intelligent people tend to speak very quickly. I’ve written many times about the pace of conversation so I’ll just give you a few tips here to help if this is an issue for you.

1. Intentionally slow down your rate of speech

2. Make an effort not to cut off the ends of words as you speak.

3. Make a recording of your normal rate of speech and when you try to slow it down and enunciate more clearly.  Then play it back so you can hear your progress.

It may take some practice, but you can train yourself to speak a bit slower and more clearly so that it becomes second nature.

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To learn more about how to do this and other communication topics, receive free gifts and exclusive offers, subscribe to our newsletter!  Subscribe now and get JoJo’s eBook, Communication Activities: Finding time to Communicate with Your Children in a Busy World.

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Effective Email (part two)


On Monday, I began a new seven part series on effective email with an in depth look at choosing our email address wisely.  Today I continue the series with a look at the subject line.

Your Subject Line
Make sure your subject line is reflective of what you are going to say in the body of your email.  If it sounds too much like spam, it will be deleted by the owner who things it IS spam.  If it is blank, it may be deleted because it looks like spam.  I get a lot of spam with nothing in the subject line.  Another issue may be that the recipient may not realize this email is from YOU.  I sometimes receive emails that have very odd abbreviated words in the subject line.  Sometimes the subject line isn’t a complete thought or doesn’t sound like anything I would be interested in.  I delete it thinking it was sent to me by accident only to find out later on that it was someone with information I was waiting for!

Aside from not leaving subject lines blank, not using trigger words that spam filters are looking to weed out and making sure that your subject lines are reflective of who you are and what the body of your email is about, here are some other issues to be aware of:

• The Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Part
Don’t allow the subject line to get to this point or it will cut off your subject line!  LOL  After a few “Re:’s” you might want to consider trimming your subject line down a wee bit!  It will keep your message clear and succinct and allow your message a better chance of being read.  Even if your friend knows it’s from you, but she is busy with six other things as a new mom right now, she may not answer for a while because it takes far too much time for her right now to read the email to determine what it’s about.  If your subject line was shorter, it would have allowed Mary to see that you were asking her about her other daughter got your invitation to your daughter’s birthday party.x

• Typos and misspellings
If your subject line has too many typos or is misspelled, it has a greater chance of being deleted because it may say something completely different to your friend than you had intended.  Remember that, while most email clients have spell check in the body of the email, there usually is no spell check for subject lines

• A very long email subject line which is so long that it gets cut of…                                              

I sometimes receive emails with marathon subject lines that seem to go on infinitely in both directions. Lol  Either they will get cut off or they will look so long to me that I won’t bother to read them in their entirety.  I may delete the email not realizing it came from a friend or I might save it for when I have more time.  (Hint: as a homeschool mom with a business and a dd away at college, I don’t have much of this thing called time!)

Your subject line is the most important part of your email because it’s the one thing that will either get your recipient to click on it…or not!  An ineffective subject line can cause your entire email to be deleted without ever being read.  It can give a bad impression or a false impression and it can set a tone for future email correspondence.  Write it wisely.

I’ll be back on Monday with part three of my effective email series.  Stay tuned!  In the meanwhile enjoy the rest of my blog and take a look around the Art of Eloquence website for even more communication articles!

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Test Your Communication Skill Level

I hope you enjoyed Communication Effectiveness Month.  We talked about how communication skills affect just about every aspect of our lives from our parenting to our marriages and from our friendships to our careers.  If you’d like to assess your communication skills, here is a communication quiz I designed years ago.  I’ve copied part of it here, but you’ll see a link to the rest of it at the bottom of this post.

Communication Assessment Quiz

Check your CEQ: Communication Effectiveness Quotient.

1. How often do you feel intimidated by someone?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

2. How often does intimidation prevent you from speaking up?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

3. Do you shy away from conflict?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

4. How often do you find it difficult to get your point across?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

5. Do you find yourself angry with little idea of how to express yourself?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

6. Are you ineffective in diffusing another’s anger?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

7. Do you feel you are ineffective in getting what you want?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

To finish the quiz, click here!

If you’ve identified an area that you’d like some help with, visit our website for a listing of various communication topics and age groups!

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It’s Communication FUNdamentals Week

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It’s Humor Week (or rather Communication FUNdamentals Week)  here at Communication FUNdamentals!  That means all the funniest communication tips, articles, videos, quotes, pictures <—— (notice anything funny about that?) and other creative fun I can muster.  Why?  Well, because the blog’s called Communication FUNdamentals.  That’s why!  lol

My blog’s name reflects the humor with which I write all of my articles and communication studies for Art of Eloquence.com.   I have always loved humor ever since I was a little tiny communicator and I patterned Art of Eloquence materials after The Great Communicator, Ronald Reagan, who used humor and his Christian faith to convey his messages.

I wrote a short article a long while ago in a galaxy far, far away that I have posted on the Articles Page of our website.  It’s called “Humor: A Powerful Communication Tool.”  So I’ll begin at the beginning with this article which starts off…

In the olde days of kings who ruled with absolute power, only the court jester could safely tell the King the truth, mediated through humor.  Anyone else who attempted to tell the Emperor he had no clothes was in danger of losing his head!

Humor is a valuable and effective tool for communicating just about anything because humor breaks down barriers.  Carefully disguised as fun, humor can smuggle new ideas into people’s hearts.

To read the rest of the article, click here.

Knowing how important humor is to effective communication and the study of communication, I’m going to share as many comical, creative and fun ways in which we use humor this week.  I usually post only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but check back each day this week for more Communication FUNdamentals.

Today’s insightful, creative giggle is in the form of a video.  Victor Borge in Inflationary Language.  What do you think about humor? Post your comments here and please pass along the blog link to others to share the giggles!  Thanks.

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Praise and Thank You

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Continuing with Praise Week here on Communication FUNdamentals!  On Monday I shared about a recent study that was done on the need for praise in order to boost self-esteem.  With so many people feeling overworked like this woman here, the need for praise is greater, but we no longer have as much free time to give it away to others.  However, it’s important to praise and compliment-even if it is just to say thank you, but how do we do that effectively?  This is an article I wrote a while back called…

The Power of Thank You!
By JoJo Tabares

Did you ever notice how little kids show appreciation?  My son comes to me several times a day and says things like “I love you!  You are the best mommy in the whole world!”  The conviction of his words and the look on his face as he utters them are what touch my heart!  That’s what true appreciation is.

Most of us teach our children to say thank you, but few of us really understand its power.  Showing appreciation is not only etiquette, but it is a responsibility especially during the holidays.

I was privileged to have been in the audience when Florence Littauer was speaking on “Silver Boxes”.  It’s what she calls her philosophy on appreciation and edification.  She quotes Ephesians 4:29.  “Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  She says that words are like a gift we give others that come in little silver boxes with bows on top.  This is how we should show proper appreciation.

Many of us remember to say thank you when we get a gift, but often forget to show others appreciation for the things they do for us on a daily basis. And just how much appreciation does our “Thank You” show?

“Gee thanks” isn’t much of a Thank You.  “Gee thanks” is what is interpreted when you say…”Thanks for the gift Aunt Millie!”  or even  “I love it!” Even if your voice is excited and your face lights up when you say it, it
can be empty.  Why?  Because in order for Aunt Millie to feel appreciated, she has to know what exactly you appreciate: The thought behind it?  Money she spent?  Time it took?  Trouble she went to?  And what exactly did you like about the gift:  The features? The time it will save you?

A proper thank you is one in which you show as much time and trouble to give thanks as the person did in choosing your gift.  Consider this:  “Oh Aunt Millie!  This is so generous of you!  I can hardly believe it!  This is a beautiful sweater and just the perfect color to go with the dress I was going to wear for my interview!  Oh it feels so soft and I just love how it fits!”  How much more appreciated does Aunt Millie feel now?  Notice you haven’t even said the words “thank you”.  It isn’t the words you speak; it’s the message it conveys that is important.

And how often should you thank Aunt Millie for this sweater?  MORE THAN ONCE!  I make it a point to wear my gift when I go visit the giver, call them on the phone when I am using it again, mention how I used it the other day and what a pleasure it was that I had it!  NOW how appreciated does Aunt Millie feel?

What about all the thank yous that go unsaid to the people in our lives who do little things for us day after day?  How many of us thank our mothers for raising us or our fathers for working so hard all those years we were growing up-not just on Mother’s and Father’s Day and not just a card or gift.  How many of us have told our parents exactly what they did that we appreciate?  Details!  A Mother’s Day card once a year is an obligation.  A letter or conversation regaling them with the details of what you appreciated about them over the years is true appreciation!

Is appreciation limited to our family?  Many of us never thank our friends or associates for what they mean to us or do for us each day.  How many of us belong to online communities?  How many times have you emailed the owner of the list or site to thank them for all the behind the scenes work they do every day that allows you to participate, fellowship and learn?

Take your appreciation public.  How much more appreciated do you think Annie would feel if you posted a public message of appreciation for all her hard work behind the scenes at your favorite Yahoo group?:

“I want to thank Annie for all the wonderful articles she posts each week! I have really learned a lot and I have used many of these articles as homeschool lessons for my children.  Annie must work so hard to create all these fun activities and I want to thank her for donating her time and all the prizes and certificates she has given away over the years!  This group has been such a blessing to me and I have had so much fun as a member. Thanks Annie!”

A little thank you goes a long way! If Annie was feeling a little frustrated by the time the group takes to maintain, I bet she has renewed vitality after your post!  On the job, employers can get more out of their employees by showing them a little appreciation now and again.  You can create a closer relationship with your family and friends by showing them how much you appreciate what they do for you.

Give the gift of true appreciation. The most appreciated gift is appreciation.  It’s free to give and priceless
to get!  Thank you for reading along with my thoughts today!

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It’s Praise Week

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It’s Praise Week here at Communication FUNdamentals!

The Bible talks about praising God, and we should, for all the blessings He has given us, but it also talks about supporting and being a blessing to others.  Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Edifying means to build up.  God wants us to build others up, to lift them up when they are down, to support them.  This scripture also tells us we should do this in order to minister grace to them.  Grace means showing mercy, kindness and service toward others.   Here’s why this is so important.

I always knew how important it was to praise others, but recently my daughter brought to my attention an article that tells us more about why.  It says research shows Young People Prefer Praise.

“We looked at all the things college students love and they love self-esteem more,” says lead author Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University in Columbus.”

The article further stated that the students surveyed preferred experiences that boosted their self-esteem and cited things like getting good grades and compliments.  It went on to say:

Part of what researchers analyzed was the difference between “liking” and “wanting,” based on study participants’ self-reports. They said they liked the rewards listed in the study more than they actually wanted them, which Bushman says is considered healthy. However, the liking-wanting distinction was smallest for self-esteem, suggesting a stronger desire for it than the other rewards.

So not only did they like receiving these rewards, but they actually craved or wanted them:

“It’s about confidence in your ability to deal with life’s challenges and a sense of personal worth, rather than generalized praise and undeserved rewards.

The article suggests that craving self-esteem can be harmful to a society when it crosses over into narcissism.  However, I believe this is much more likely for those who don’t follow Biblical principles which say to put others before ourselves.

I wonder if this rise in young people wanting or even craving experiences or feedback that fills self-esteem needs is because society as a whole is just so much busier than it used to be.  People are working two jobs to make ends meet.  Moms are worried about their children running with the wrong crowd or having too much free time that they are scheduling many more activities than they once did.  Nobody knows their neighbors anymore.  Are we all too busy these days to take the time to pay those compliments we used to?  Do people today feel lost in the crowd?  Is life more complicated today making it less likely to feel we are doing well?  Does society push self-esteem too much?  Or is it that society teaches us to seek conformity rather than treasure our uniqueness ?  Are we looking for acceptance from a world that says we are just one of the crowd?  Or does society no longer believe in a God who treasures each individual created with love?

What do you think?

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Half Flawed

This is a picture of the corner of one of the counter tops in my kitchen.  What do you notice?  What stands out to you?  If you said the fact that a piece of the grout is missing, you’d be one of the majority.  It kind of bugs me and I’ve been meaning to buy some matching grout and fix it, but the other day I noticed something about what I noticed.

Years ago there was a show I absolutely loved called Touched by an Angel.  One episode was about a woman who lived next door to a home for children with disabilities.  One of the children was (yet unknown to the audience and characters at the time) an angel with a disability.  At the end of the show he revealed himself as an angel not only to the woman, who had become disabled due to a stroke, but to the other angels.  When he did, he commented how God had made an angel with a disability to remind people not to look at what people can’t do, but what they can do.  During the entire show, even the angels treated him as if he was the sum total of his flaws.  Even when dealing with him, trying to help him and trying to allow him to help the woman who was their assignment, they saw him as half flawed.

Looking at this missing grout that bugged me so much, I failed to notice all the other grout that holds this counter top together.  I failed to notice the beauty of the counter top which I had initially loved because it wasn’t plain, white tile as were most kitchen counter tops I have had in the past.  It’s beauty had faded for me since all I could see was what it was missing.  And what was missing was a miniscule amount of grout.

People are like this counter top.  We have flaws.  Sometimes those flaws can be fixed, but sometimes they cannot.  Sometimes they are quite obvious and sometimes they are hardly noticeable.  One of my many flaws is that I am HTML Illiterate and Technologically Challenged.  Though it’s been quite difficult for me at times, I have learned quite a bit about how to blog, update my website and host online seminars.  I’ve “come a long way baby!”  Am I still a Techno Idiot?  Absolutely, but this techno ding dong can learn!  It’s a slow process, but it can be done!

Another one of my flaws is the fact that I have no sense of direction whatever.  I joke that I can get lost backing out of my own driveway and it’s not too far from the truth.  It is a source of frustration for me and for my family, particularly my husband who could find his way home after being blindfolded and driven across country… in the dark!  I just don’t have the GPS gene.  I’ve tried to develop my sense of direction in my last 48 years on this planet, but I fear it is a lost cause.

As a directionally impaired and technologically challenged soul, I have a difficult time with simple things like my TV remote.  I long for the old days when you had an “on button.”  Now turning my TV on involves pressing two buttons for the TV and two buttons for the Cable, that is unless someone left the TV in DVR or DVD mode in which case I have to call my 11 y/o son for help.  Apparently you need to push about six more buttons to resolve that!  With as little as I watch TV on my own, I’ve never seen the need to get trained in such matters.

My son knows how much mom struggles with things that are simple for him and so often he neglects to see my other good qualities.  His comments are sometimes spoken in a condescending way magnifying my flaws as if they make up the sum total of who I am.  Sometimes those condescending remarks creep into other subject areas for which I do have an aptitude, yet he will argue with me because he just knows he’s right and mom’s wrong.  After all, Mom’s not too bright if she can’t even turn on the TV!  This is when I need to remind him that I have learned a wee bit in 48 years and just maybe that song WAS around in the 60’s and wasn’t actually written for Shrek.

Are you a glass half full kind of person?  Or do you see it as half empty?  Have you ever seen someone only for their flaws?  Made a snap judgment about them and couldn’t see the blessings they had to offer? Ever run across someone who struck you as unintelligent, only to find they were a wealth of knowledge about something you treasured?  Have you ever thought someone weak only to discover their inner strength and the story behind how it was developed?

You know what else I have found about looking for people’s flaws?  If you look at the person as half flawed, you miss so much of the blessings God can give you though them. My engagement ring is a diamond.  It is not a flawless diamond by any means.  However, as I look at it, I don’t see the flaws.  They are too small to be seen with the naked eye.  I supposed anyone looking to purchase a flawless diamond would have missed the opportunity to have seen the incredible brilliance of this heart-shaped, well cut diamond sparkle and light up the restaurant when I was proposed to 23 years ago.

When we look for what we expect to find in someone, we are almost always able to see it.  Further, what we look for seems to become magnified as under a microscope which obscures anything we are not looking for at present.  In addition, when we look for someone’s flaws, we don’t see the blessing that is in that very flaw.  A person’s weakness may be his greatest strength.  It may be one of the endearing qualities that make him unique if we would only see it that way.  Finally, seeing someone as half flawed sets the tone for our communication with him.

The more you expect Johnny not to understand math, the more you speak to him as if he hasn’t got math smarts.  The more Johnny hears this communication, the more Johnny believes it.  What would happen if you began to speak to Johnny as if he could get it?  You know what happened to me when my web designer spoke to me as if I could understand my website?  I began to feel like I could do it.  The more competent I felt, the more I trusted myself and the more I learned.

So…the next time you are tempted to see someone’s faults, remember to look beyond the missing grout.  Look at the person as half blessed so your speech can reflect the whole of who they are instead of someone who is half flawed.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Ten Things to Post During Tough Times

It’s been a while since I posted an article about business on Communication FUNdamentals.  The last seven weeks were devoted to homeschool articles.  So this week I thought I’d bring you an article on blogging and social media.  This week I’ll share ten things to post during the tough economic times.  Next week I’ll talk about the ten things NOT to post!

10 Things to Post During Tough Times

If you are blogging or using social media for business purposes, it’s always a good idea to know your audience.  What are your customers looking for?  What do they need?  How can you help them?  In these financially tough times, I find that there are several things people are looking for and several things they are NOT.  You can use this knowledge in order to be of use in a timely way.

1. Things that give them hope

People are struggling to make ends meet.  They need hope.  Post a short message of encouragement.  Offer to help find something in your area of expertise.

2. Things that give them inspiration

Post an inspiring quote, an inspirational picture, a Bible quote.  Give them an idea for a project they are working on.

3. Things that are a distraction

As making ends meet can be more than a full time job requiring many hours of dedication and focus, a small distraction is usually welcomed once in a while!  People can’t go on long vacations, but you can offer a mini vacation just by posting a funny picture, odd fact, clean joke or note of encouragement.  Anything that is a short distraction which allows them a tiny break in an otherwise frustrating day can be of immense help.

4. Things that make them laugh

Post a clean joke or funny saying, silly picture or even just a funny comment.  Humor is a mini vacation!  Humor helps a body release stress. Be someone’s hero and help them find something to laugh at when they are having a tough day.  Be sure not to make fun of their struggle, but do introduce a little levity.

5. Things that educate them about the changing times

If someone is struggling to do something (especially if it is in your area of expertise, but even if it isn’t), offer to help them or educate them. Make a tough situation a little easier.  They will never forget it!

6. Things that contain information about how to survive

If you have inside information or knowledge about how to survive a crisis someone is struggling with, reach out to them.  Offer to share. Help if you can.  As much as you can.  You don’t have to spend hours with them if you don’t have the hours to spare, but help someone get through a tough time in any way you can.

7. Things that warn them of troubles ahead

Let folks know of scams you have encountered.  Warn them of impending disaster.  Help them avoid further disappointments.  Take a few minutes to help someone else avoid the struggles you had to go through.  Give them the benefit of your wisdom.

8. Things that help them make money for their family

I’m not talking here about blasting Network Marketing ad links all over Facebook, but if someone has said they are looking for a business, offer some suggestions.  If you represent a company that might work for them, mention yours along with some others opportunities or ideas.  Tell Mildred she might sell her artwork she dearly loves creating.  Encourage Ignatz to look into consulting… then mention that you have an opportunity they may also want to check out.

9. Things that help them save money

Post any ideas or tips you have or find that help folks save more of their valuable income.  If this is your business, offer some free tips once a week or so!  Reply to someone who asks a specific question and needs a particular solution.

10. Things that bring them closer to God

Point them to God.  Post scriptures that speak to their soul.  Help Christians who are hurting by telling them how special they are to the Lord and to you.  Tell the unbeliever that God loves them.  Tell the believer who is questioning his struggles too!  Post things that lead folks closer to or back to God.  God can inspire hope and help change the struggles His children are going through.

What if your business has nothing to do with any of these ten things?  Why share them in a blog, on Yahoo groups, Twitter or Facebook?  Because if you help someone, if you reach out to them, if you care about them, they will care about you and what you do.  If you don’t seem to care about them and offer to help, they will not care to know you, let alone buy green, speckled widgets from you.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

For more articles on communication in business, check out the bottom of our Articles Page!

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Yes, Virginia, there are dumb homeschool questions!

This is the 7th and final article in my homeschool series, “A Question of Homeschooling.”  Over the last several weeks, I’ve covered some important issues and questions about homeschooling.  You’ve heard it said that no question is a dumb question, but I don’t subscribe to that theory.  Some questions, though you may stretch their meaning to include something that really isn’t being asked, are indeed DUMB questions.

As I said in my first article, I have been homeschooling for over 10 years.  In that time I have had people ask me some valid, pertinent, and important questions about homeschooling. I have had folks express their reservations about homeschooling.  Hey, I had them too!  And I have had people ask the dumbest questions about homeschooling as well.  Here are a few:

1. Do you KNOW anything?

I covered this one here, but thought I’d bring it back as it really is a dumb question to ask of anyone.  Would anyone, ANYONE, think to ask a public schooled student this question–even if he attends a rather poorly rated public school?  Anyone?  Beuller?  Beuller?

I know some will say that they are simply asking if a homeschooled student really learns as much with mom at the helm than with an unbiased third party.  However, since studies show that most homeschoolers are rated academically higher than most public schooled students (and even higher than most private schooled students), this question really isn’t a valid one.  And in the cases where it might be a valid issue, it is a really DUMB way to ask, especially when speaking directly to a child.

2. Aren’t homeschoolers all weird?

And before you say nobody would ever ask something this rude, let me just say I’ve heard this one first hand!!  No, Mildred.  Not all homeschoolers wear 1800’s bonnets and lock their kids in a closet until they memorize their Latin roots.  And we don’t all wear denim jumpers and forbid smiling.  While many homeschoolers tend to hold conservative values, we also tend to be independent thinkers and come in many shapes and sizes.

3. What about all the homeschoolers who don’t teach their kids anything?

I’ve run into hundreds of homeschoolers in the last ten years from all over the world and I’ve never met a homeschooling parent who doesn’t take her children’s education seriously.  I’m not saying every homeschool parent is like this, but it certainly isn’t a widespread problem!  It’s so much easier to leave a child’s education in the hands of others than to take on the challenging task of doing it yourself.

And the folks who ask this question of homeschoolers don’t seem to wonder if the kids in public schools are really learning anything despite the statistics that show a percentage of public school children who are consistently passed to the next grade level without grasping the concepts of the past year.

4. Where do you go to homeschool?

Ok this one just floored me.  I mean, it’s called HOMEschool.  But, yes, I was asked where my daughter went to homeschool.  And I had a difficult time convincing the person who asked that she was, in fact, schooled at HOME!

5. Aren’t you afraid your kids won’t learn how to deal with bullies?

Yes, indeed, this question has come up and, yes, he was serious!

6. But how will your kids learn how to wait in line?

While I was never asked this question, I do know people who have been asked.  I wasn’t aware that this was a skill or that it was the function of public school to teach.  And…I guess the grocery store, department stores, Disneyland, Motor Vehicle Department, doctor’s office, and pizzeria’s don’t count.

7.  When will they talk to people?

I suppose that if you think homeschoolers are locked in their room all day studying for Spelling Bees, you aren’t considering all the family time, sibling conversations, homeschool co ops, extra curricular activities, church events, community involvement, and Spelling Bees where the contestants are required to actually speak their answers, sometimes ask questions for clarification and perhaps speak with other contestants along the way.

8. How will they ever find a husband?

Do most girls find their husbands in public school?

9. How will they learn that there are different people in the world?

Um…perhaps from talking with neighbors, relatives, reading about other countries and cultures, watching TV, listening to the news…

10. What happens when they get into the real world?

Is public school the real world?  Is college?  Is your home the real world?  Is your neighbor’s home the real world?  What is the real world, really?  As children grow up, their lives change.  That’s part of life in the real world.  And so it is for adults when they get married, change jobs, get a promotion, move to another home, become disabled, overcome a disability, have a child…  It’s all real, it just may be different than the real world you have experienced.

So yes, Virginia, there are dumb homeschooling questions.  And there are probably more where these came from.  If you’ve been asked a silly question about homeschooling, please share it and tell us how you answered it.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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