What’s in a name?
I think the thing that is most frustrating in communicating with someone is when you mess up their name. Folks don’t mind too much of you mess up the town they live in or the name of their car, the school they went to, but their name is personal and I think folks feel like you are messing with them when you mispronounce or misspell their name.
Now my given name is Joanne. Not very unusual, but I guess the way I pronounce it over the phone with my accent made it sound like something else. I would often have to say it three times and then get, “Oh hello Jillian!” UGH!
And don’t get me started on how to spell it! I’d get Joanne, Jo Anne, Jo Ann, Joann, Johanne, Johanna, Joan and Jillian! LOL Then I got married and my last name became Tabares. Took ME six months to learn to pronounce it right! Tabaras, Tobarus, Tobarez…ROFL
So when I started my business, I began to refer to myself by my nickname I had since I was a wee tot (Yes! Even smaller than I am now!). Joanne was my given name, but I gave it back! Started using JoJo and you know what? Everyone could pronounce it and EVERYONE could even spell it! A 20 minute conversation were 15 minutes was spent explaining my first name became an efficient and succinct 5 minute call!
Do you have an unusual name? Do folks mispronounce it or misspell it all the time? What do you do about it? Leave a comment and share!
JoJo (Alias Joanne, Johanna, Joan, Mom, Mrs. Tabares… and Jillian!)
Oh my! Yes!
My name is Laurie…not Lori…not Laura…LAURIE.
My maiden name was Hill…would you like to know how many times I’d be asked how to spell it?? Too many…umm…how many ways are there to spell Hill?? Are there some ways I’m not aware of??
My last name now is Bostwick. You wouldn’t believe how many ways folks mess that one up!
LOL! When I got married my last name changed to Ball. I honestly thought no last name could be simpler than that. You would be amazed at how many people ask me to spell my last name. Invariably, after I spell it they say, “Oh…Ball.” So now I’ve gone to automatically spelling my last name whenever I say it. It may seem like a silly thing, but spelling my last name cuts down on confusion.
With a maiden name of Kruckenberg, I won’t BEGIN to go into mispronuniciations…after all, even the family itself pronounces it differently… Mom would say like ‘truck’, cousins pronouned like ‘kirk’…Thankfully, ordering pizza became much easier with Lorenz! My pet peeve is people thinking they may, without asking first, shorten your name. My name is Kimery NOT Kim, Kimberly, Kimerly, Kimbery or any other such modification. By the time I was a senior in hs, I usually answered ‘whatever’ when they asked what I was usually called. In my older years, I just refuse to be called “LateToDinner”! It’s much simpler that way! Haha (PS my street name is Norris — any idea how many times people mess THAT up and even with spelling it we get mail to “North”…I got smart–I spell then say “Norris, as in Chuck Norris”. Then it’s right!)
People tend to misunderstand “Lewis” on the phone – many think I’m saying “Willis.” So I always pronounce it V-E-R-Y slowly and distinctly, then spell it out.
My main thing is people calling me “Matt” when my name is “Matthew.” I really have a hard time getting used to that!
Yes, my maiden name is Thombs which is suppose to be pronounced “Toms” like one would for Thomas only with a ‘b’ instead of an ‘a’. That never stopped anyone from pronouncing it “tooms” or “thumbs”. OYE! Then you have my first and middle name squooshed together, “BeckyJoie”. I get called Betty Jo, Becky Joey, Betty Joey, Bobby Jo, Bobby Joey and all kinds of funny things. They see the “oie” on Joie and put it on becky like this beckoie. OYE! OIE! LOL. BTW, Joie is the French spelling of Joy and I’m so glad people never pronounce it with a French accent. (“Jwa”)
JoJo, when I first heard your last name pronounced, I thought someone said, “JoJo is in Tavares”. Tavares is a nearby town pronounced “Ta-vair-ees”.
The pain of name calling. LOL.
Oh I am laughing with you all as you share your stories that all sound so familiar! Thanks for taking the time to share them here.
In case anyone is wondering about Art of Elephants. This came from a customer’s young dd who was referring to my company and mistakenly called us Art of Elephants. I think I had a residual smile of my face from that for about a year! ROFLOL
My married name has been Buettner for the past 11 years. When I know someone is writing it down I automatically spell it out. The most common mispronounciation is “Buttner”, which is also the most common misspelling, despite us spelling it out constantly. Are there any instances in the English language where the “ue” is pronounced “uh”, not “yoo” or “oo”? I’m not aware of any. That’s what happens when phonics are not taught! Only our library’s automated phone reminder system “Mr Roboto”, pronounces it “Bootner”. The German pronounciation is “Bittner” and living in an area with lots of German lineage, some people actually pronounce it that way, and I don’t correct them. And we never get anything misspelled that way. Most of my husband’s immediate family pronounces it that way, but he, being the rebel, chose the “Byoottner” version for himself. Once in a while we hear “Bwetner”- again, when is “ue” ever pronounced “weh”? We also get these for misspellings – “Butner” “Buetner” “Buether”
Fortunately, Lisa was one of the most common names in the decade I was born, and there are tons of us around so it is rarely misspelled. My husband’s name, Thomas is also so common that it is rarely misspelled, but would you believe it was misspelled on our wedding program?
Has anyone else ever told a telemarketer who mispronounced their name that no one by that name lives here? Works like a charm. 😉
My first name is Paula, but for some reason, when I tell people my name on the phone, they think I’m saying Carla.
My married last name is Brazzell and most people (including me when I first met my husband) want to put the emphasis on the last syllable, but it is really on the first syllable. As my husband told me, just remember “razzle dazzle Brazzell”. I also have to tell people “two z’s, two l’s” when they are trying to spell it. It gets misspelled most of the time, even by people who have known me a long time!
I’m LOVING these stories…friend has a last name of ‘Delagardelle’ and she received mail for ‘Delagorilla’…LOL
I promise NOT to call you Joanne
That’s my cousin’s name – and she never had a nickname so she is still Joanne to this day!
My maiden name was Swaffield – and you can just imagine! Not too much trouble with Holman – although the teckies with thick accents like to say Hall – a – mun. Very annoying!!!
My name is Lafayette Jefferson. When I’m on the phone and say my name people think I’m representing a company and ask for my name again. I’ve actually never thought about spelling out my first name for people, it’s been pretty much automatic ever since I’ve learned how to spell it. My issue now is with Jefferson. How in the hell do people end up calling me johnson. I’m sure Mr. Johnson is a cool dude, but he’s not me. Not that I put much thought in it but the only similarities are the first letter and “son” at the end. My name is three syllables and Johnson is two. ARRRGggh! Thanks for letting me vent. I just hand people cards when they ask my name
Many people try to make my last name Irish like O’ Glesby or even say it with short o, Oglesby when the o is long. ” Ogles” ” bee” some want the by to be by as in bye. Yes, it is nice to a Tina. They can’t do too much to it.
My experience with this told me that this would be a post that brought out a number of comments. I must say I was still surprised by the turn out. I have received countless emails, Facebook and Twitter comments as well as right here on the Communication FUNdamentals blog.
People like to know others are paying attention to them, who they are and what they need. Mispronouncing their name or misspelling it is a big communication faux pas!
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. It’s been fun to read.
Oh my, nobody gets my name right!
first or last for that matter.
Not sure how hard B-U-R-N-E-R is but for whatever reason people put it as B-R-U-N-E-R and even though I can say “Burner, ya know like on a stove” they still say BRUNER
and my first name…forget it…
it’s Tara…not TAR-A, not Tera, not Terra
Suppose I ‘could’ use my middle name of Ann but that’s so blah and boring, far from my own personality so while people mangle my name it’s more ‘me’ than any other option I have!
My first name “Neil” is misunderstood as either “Dale” or “Leo.”
My last name seems more problematic for others as I get older. “Lynch” becomes “Lich” or “Leench” (?!?) and 75% of the time people spell it “L-i-n-c-h” when writing it. These days, I just spell my last name automatically.
My name gets misspelled ALL the time. There is an “H” in Theresa. I know some people don’t spell it that way, but I do! And don’t call me Terrie, unless I introduce myself as such.
My maiden name was Rindfleisch. So many ways to mess that up! LOL
Now my last name is Little, and yes, people ask how to spell it!
I am shocked at all the more common names that are misspelled or mispronounced. Do you think it’s more that people don’t take the time to get your name right?
In church on Sunday my Pastor said there was a recent study showing that people report being MUCH busier than they ever were before. It is so important to make folks feel special by at least paying attention to how they spell their name and what they call themselves.
You know, I have a habit of looking at the bottom of the email to see how someone refers to themselves before I address the email reply. Many times a “Rebecca” will refer to herself as Becky which usually is a clue that this is what she prefers to be called. But sometimes we see “Rebecca” at top of the email in the “from” field but don’t realize that she refers to herself as Rebecca and NOT Becky. This is also a clue that she doesn’t like a nickname.
Additionally, a Rebecca may really be a Rebeka or a Rebeca.
It’s so important that we make a little effort to address someone they way they are communicating they want to be addressed.
A social communication tip from your friendly neighborhood JoJo (Not Jojo!)
Hey Sharon Ball! I’m with you sister! My married name is Ball and people just don’t get it. “Hall?” “Paul?” “Saul?” “Vaul?”. So I, also, SPELL IT, right away with a huge emphasis on the B! Nice post JoJo. :o)
I have to “ditto” what Laurie Bostwick said. I very often get Laura instead of Laurie, and most people just assume it’s spelled Lori.
Now for our last name, Neumann, we spell it out and people still automatically spell it Newman. Oh well…