Christian Communication Training
And sometimes a sign is perfectly clear, but it just doesn’t make any sense anyway…
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It’s Friday and time again for Communication FUNdamental’s Friday Funnies! Get your giggle each Friday right here with the best of the best communication “miss stakes.” Today’s post brings new meaning to the term be right back. From our Oddly Specific File this picture begs the question, “Should I be timing this?”
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A while back, I posted, Did you really want to say THAT on Facebook? so when an obscure Facebook “friend” posted this on my wall, the idea for Did you really want to DO that on Facebook? was birthed.
It happens occasionally on Facebook. I call it the I’ve Got a Christian Cause so the Ends Justifies the Means Disease. This is where people send you a friend request and then never interact with you. They never reply to or “like” any of your posts, never answer when you post on theirs, never post on your wall UNTIL…they begin asking for help with their ministry/business.
I don’t mind if, once in a while, one of my Facebook friends lets me know they are involved with a charity and asks for my help by posting on my wall. If I can afford to give, the cause is something I believe in and the charity is on the up and up, I’ll help. If I can’t, maybe I can simply pass along the information. Just by virtue of it being posted on my wall, allows my Facebook friends to see the need. However, when someone ONLY posts on my wall for the express purpose of advertising their wares or plugging even a legitimate charity in a way that smacks of spam, I see that as a problem. Here’s what I mean.
This particular person posted a very long comment about his charity on one of my most popular posts of the day complete with link, hype, tear jerking story and desperate plea. The only thing that didn’t come standard was a tissue. Notice how, as a comment on a post that had MANY replies, his request for money was automatically sent as an email to each one of the people who had replied to my completely unrelated post. How convenient for him, hmmm?
At the time, I was willing to extend grace thinking he might just be an over zealous, kind soul who didn’t understand proper Facebook social networking etiquette so I left his comment there. However, the very next day I found the exact worded, lengthy comment to my most popular post of THAT day. I got curious to see if this was a duplicate or if this was his Modus Operandi. Sure enough, his entire Facebook wall was replete with time stamped indices of HUNDREDs of duplicate copies of this exact comment he had left on other’s posts…all of which were their most popular posts of the day! There wasn’t one post on any other topic or any evidence that he ever left a different comment when replying to anyone else. I unfriended him. I didn’t see any use in pursuing a friendship with someone who had no desire to connect beyond asking for money.
You may ask why I didn’t contact him in order to share my insights about how he might find a more constructive way to share his mission with others. I’ll tell you why. I’ve met Mr. I’ve Got a Christian Cause so the Ends Justifies the Means before. They always sing the same song and it’s a waste of precious time to attempt to show them the error of their words. They don’t have time to be nice; they are too busy doing good things. They don’t have time to communicate with each individual; they are doing the Lord’s work. It doesn’t matter how they communicate; God demands boldness. If others take offense, so be it; I’m blessed to be a martyr for Christ.
God’s Word is filled with scripture that tells us to speak in grace. Over 4500 scriptures deal with our mouths, tongues, lips and words alone! The ends don’t justify the means in sharing your God-given mission or your faith any more than it does when you are trying to gain success or money.
The next time you are tempted to post something bold knowing that some might take offense, think about two things: 1) Does God really want you to say THIS? and 2) HOW would God want you to say this? In trying to answer question two, reflect on a few of those 4500 scriptures.
“Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
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Today is IBM PC Day! To celebrate, I have this YouTube video about computers. This is a spoof on the old Abbott and Costello Who’s on First routine. For your Friday laughing pleasure, I bring you…
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It’s National Underwear Day today. I don’t think I want to know how you go about celebrating that! What I do know is that you’ll enjoy this YouTube video of Christian Comedian, Jeff Allen. Not only does it talk about the subject at hand, but he gives you a little insight into the communication between husband and wife.
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August is National Win with Civility Month! With all the horrible things you hear people say to each other these days, isn’t this a wonderful thought? How can we celebrate this month? What can we do to further civility in America and around the world?
Let’s not compromise our beliefs or leave unsaid the things that should be said, but let’s find ways to promote civility this month. Not like these guys to my left here! lol
I posted about this on my Facebook wall last year asking folks to repost it on their FB wall in support of civility and was disappointed it didn’t get as much participation. This year, I’d love to get more support for civility and let’s make it fun. How can Art of Eloquence do this? If you have an idea for us, please post a comment here! We’ll discuss the ideas and implement the one(s) that we feel will work for us best.
So let’s hear from you! How can Art of Eloquence celebrate civility this year?
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On Wednesday, I shared about the release of our brand new Speech and Debate Package. One of the things you need to watch out for in a debate is faulty logic. There might be some here. Whadaya think?
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I found a kindred spirit in Krista Dunk. She and I have been Facebook friends for a while now. I knew I’d like her the minute I saw her profile picture. She’s wearing a purple jacket. As I got to know her, I came to admire her faith and her mission. I think you’ll get a lot out of reading about her and how communication plays a large role in her life.
1. Please tell us a little about yourself.
Thank you JoJo. I wear a lot of hats, but I’ll keep this short! I am a woman of God, mother, wife, business owner, sign language worship dancer, and also an author. Life is full, and God is good.
2. What is a typical day in the life of Krista Dunk?
My typical day (if there is such a thing!) looks like this: Wake up at 7:30 and read my Bible for 10 minutes. Get ready, and help my kids get ready for school. Drop my kids off, then come back home and get to work; including things like radio show hosting, interviews, writing, researching, emails, teleclasses, book promoting, and learning. I sneak some worship and praise time and pantry grazing in there too…My kids get home at 3:15 and then the fun begins! Afternoons and evenings are filled with noise, clean-up, stories, movies, homework, and time together. My husband and I enjoy the quiet house for a couple hours, read and pray, then hit the hay around 10:20.
3. I love hearing people’s testimony! Please share how you came to know the Lord and how important The Great Commission is to a believer.
Thanks JoJo, I’d love to share about this. As a child, I attended church until I was twelve years old, when my family experienced a break-up. Because of that foundation of faith in God, I rededicated my life to the Lord as a young, married 22-year-old woman. Even as a teenager out of church, I knew right from wrong. Unfortunately I made many decisions that conflicted with that knowledge! Thankfully God had plans for me. I can look back and see His hand at work. Since I returned to Him, there has been a serious journey taking place…and it’s not finished yet!
I feel very strongly about the subject of people stepping out into the plan that God has for them. This includes The Great Commission. He has special work for each of us!
4. How many years have you been married and how important has effective communication been in your marriage?
My husband and I have been married for 18 years, and we have two children. I always tell newlyweds that if they can talk about anything from the heart in a healthy way, that they can get through anything. I truly believe that has helped us a lot! We both come from divorced homes. In fact, both our sets of parents divorced after 17 years of marriage. We’ve beat that cycle – thank You God!
5. Share with us your greatest blessings and challenges you have had as a parent.
I love my kids – they themselves are blessings and crack me up with some of the things they say. A couple of funny examples: My daughter, while in her princess phase, decided that “God made us…with His wand.” On another occasion, my son contemplatively declared that, “If I was a donut, I’d eat myself.” I love that kind of stuff!
One challenge is that parenting brings up our character flaws and past “stuff.” It can be hard to look at those issues. Also, sometimes I find myself communicating my frustration rather than my heart, and it’s something I’m actively working on.
6. What is your favorite scripture and share what God is communicating to you personally through it.
So many to choose from…however I find a strong connection with Nehemiah 2:18. “And I told them of the hand of my God which had been good upon me, and also of the king?s words that he had spoken to me.
So they said, ?Let us rise up and build.? Then they set their hands to this good work.”
God has spoken to me personally about building up the body of Christ. This verse deeply speaks to me about how God calls us to His work. First He speaks the need, we get authorized to move forward, we bring God’s message or help through us to other people, and they are inspired to set their hands to work.
7. You have a unique ministry/business. How important is effective communication for you as you go about your daily activities?
Yes, I do have some unique things going on – Koinonia Business Women, my “Step Out and Take Your Place” book and message, as well as a smaller, but upcoming ministry for worshipping with sign language. Through all of these, my goal is to not only communicate, but to connect with people (still a work in progress). My general communication style is fairly practical, encouraging, sometimes silly, and from the heart.
For me, it can be a challenge to keep up with communication so I remind myself on my calendar; email Jan about the class, call Cindy to set up the interview, complete the blog article, send Debbie a birthday note.
8. What forms of communication do you use in your ministry/business? Which one is your favorite and why?
Quite a few, now that you mention it! Recorded classes and mastermind group calls, lots of emails, phone calls, social media, websites, blogging, letters, radio show, short video clips, face-to-face networking and meetings, speaking, and music, dance and sign language during the worship with sign activities.
9. What are the challenges in communicating in other ways?
I think each method of communication comes with its own challenges. Social media can suck up lots of time if you’re not careful. Focusing on too much written communication vs. verbal or in-person keeps you at a distance from your customers or audience. Emails can get lost or glossed over. Speaking requires a lot of preparation. Just a few examples! Although each has their own advantages as well.
10. If you could go back in time and give yourself advice about a misunderstanding you had in the past, what would you tell yourself?
I had a misunderstanding several months ago with a radio show host. She was calling me for an interview, but was checking my “spiritual credentials” first before agreeing to have me on as a guest. Her direct questions of, “What do you believe about God?” and “What denomination are you?” caught me off guard. Now, you have to understand I go to a non-denominational church so I didn’t have the answer she was looking for on that one! We went around for about 10 minutes trying to talk through the miscommunication, and I have to laugh now as I remember her preaching the gospel to me thinking that I wasn’t strong in my faith!
I would give myself the advice to be more direct in my answers when I’m dealing with a person with a very direct style of communicating!
11. How can we learn more about you and your business/ministry?
Thank you for asking. If you’re a faith-based woman in business, you can visit www.KBWomen.com and see how you can connect with our organization. Through that link, you can find our blog, radio show, newsletter, and association links. Twitter: @KBWomen
Also, if you want to know more about discovering your God-given gifts and His calling for you, please check out my book’s website at www.StepOutandTakeYourPlace.com. I have a free e-newsletter that anyone can receive to learn more about this topic as well. Twitter: @Giftsand Calling
Coming soon will be www.WorshipWithSign.com.
12. Any final thoughts you’d like to leave us with today?
Sure – on this topic of communication, I believe God has gifted each person with one or more modes of communicating that come naturally to us. What is yours? Speaking? Writing? Creative arts? Being the behind the scenes helping hands? Demonstrating by actions? Discover and develop the mode(s) of communication that God has designed you for, then discover the group(s) of people He is calling you to influence and the message/helpful action He wants to communicate through you.
It is time to Step Out and Take Your Place within God’s plan!
Thank you JoJo, this has been a pleasure.
The pleasure is mine! Thanks for sharing with my readers, Krista!
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Need some “Tutering?” Having trouble in “Caculate” class? Perhaps you need help with punctuation? These are only a few of the issues. Can you find the others? Grab your “kidlings” and have them try their hand.
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If you’ve been on Facebook for a while, you have probably come across a post or two that brought to mind the following question: “Did you really want to say THAT on Facebook?” I ran across two such issues this week.
Sally Socialite:
Posted on a Facebook group of about 4000 people was a notification that one of its members was leaving. She said she was a member of a few other active groups, one of them had to go and THIS one was it. She wished everyone well and informed them that she would formally leave in two days.
While she had left a few comments, she wasn’t the moderator or even a regular contributor. So announcing to almost 4000 people that you are leaving the group seemed a tad arrogant. Further, there’s really no nice way to say that you’d rather spend your time on three other groups, but “THIS one is it” doesn’t even come close. Lastly, if you’re going to leave a group, why not leave now? The implication, to me anyway, was that she was waiting around to see who begged her to stay. No one did. In fact, though the group had comments on every other post, this post remained the one without a single response.
I think the polite way to leave a large group is to quietly unsubscribe. If you are the moderator or a frequent contributor whose absence would be noticed, you can simply say you aren’t going to be able to contribute to the group any longer. You might cite a job change, more household responsibilities, a health problem (or anything other than preferring the company of another group over this one) as the reason.
Stanley Sob Story
While it is more common to find a Facebook bio that claims your potential “friend” is Superman, Einstein and Michael Jackson all rolled into one, I found a few who like to complain. I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t find this technique in How to Win Friends and Influence Facebook.
He says he works at an entry level job where he “gets no kind of respect” and lists several grievances against the company which he refers to by name and by specific location-just in case any management, who might have noticed, wasn’t sure which franchise was involved!
First, reading this makes me feel like I’m eavesdropping on a private conversation and/or participating in gossip. While his purpose may be to elicit compassion, the use of profanity (not to mention poor spelling and grammar) doesn’t endear me to his plight. Lastly, I can’t see myself having a meaningful friendship with someone who keeps private all personal information save the sordid details of his unfortunate career.
I’ve said it before, Facebook is a public venue where you meet and greet. Be careful what information you give away, especially to your employer and especially in this type of economy. First impressions are just as important online as they are offline at a party. Nobody wants to feel as if they are second best (or was that 4th?) and very few are attracted to a vulgar complainer.
What say you? Have you encountered some things people have said on Facebook that left you thinking, “Did you really want to say THAT on Facebook?”
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