Communication Articles

Effective Email (part one)

September 26, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Communication has evolved a great deal in the technological age. I’ve talked about what kinds of communication are best for various situations, I’ve pointed out the pitfalls of different forms of communication and I’ve discussed how they each have been misused. This week, I’d like to begin a brand new series of articles that will share the details of writing an effective email.

Email is a form of communication that most people use and are familiar with, but as JoJoism#20 states, “Do not mistake speaking for communicating. One involves an ability and the other mastery.” The same concept is just as true of the informal written word called email. Just because we do something often, doesn’t mean we do it effectively.

Have you ever sent someone an email and had them either not reply or reply with a question about what you meant? This is usually a result of ineffective communication in one or more parts of your email. Since most people use email and some use it almost extensively, this will be a very powerful study in communication that will give you practical help in making your every day correspondence extremely effective.

This will be a seven part series that I will share over the next few weeks so make sure you’re subscribed to our RSS feed so you don’t miss any part of it. I’m going to take each part of the email one at a time. Today’s post is about your email address.

I know, it sounds a little silly. After all, how important could your email address be in the scheme of things? What difference could it possibly make what your email address is? Do people really notice anyway? The answer to these questions is very, huge and yes! Here are four reasons why.

1. Your email address communicates something about you.

Just as your first impression means a great deal when you meet someone, your email address presents a first impression of you to those who receive your email. PickledPigsFeet@MSN.com may give you a giggle, but is it really what you want to represent you when you post on your Yahoo group?

2. Your email address should communicate a positive image.

IHateMyJob@Yahoo.com may let off some steam, but is that what you want to reflect on each time you send an email? Is that what you want others to see about you when you post? How might that be interpreted should it get back to your boss? Don’t say who you don’t want to be. Choose an email address that reflects who you do want to be.

3. Your email address should be God-honoring.

If I’m a professing Christian, every part of me should honor God. Not just the words that come out of my mouth, but the clothes I wear and the groups I associate with all communicate who I am in Christ. Just as these contribute to making a God honoring impression, so do our virtual forms of communication. We wouldn’t choose a letterhead that was offensive and so we should also be careful that our email address is not. I’ve seen some pretty strange email addresses that, while I may not term them offensive, I certainly wouldn’t say they honored the Lord. Having a positive and God-honoring email address that describes me will help make a good impression just as my clothes, handshake, manners and speech do when I’m in person.

4. Your email address will be judged through a cultural and personal filter.

Only God knows our heart. All others judge us through a filter that is based on their personal, professional and cultural world view whether we like it or not. Through this filter goes every aspect of our communication to them. In a face to face conversation, it’s our voice, our eye contact, our words and expressions, etc. In an email, it starts with our email address.

If you use your email for the sole purpose of communicating with close friends, that is one thing. However, if you use your email address to contact customer service at your bank, your son’s baseball coach, or your customers, CutiePatootie@hotmail.com might not earn the respect and support you desire.

SIDE NOTE: If you are a WAHM with your own business, you need to get a more professional email address. If you have your own domain, you should always use your domain email address. And while you’re setting up that email address, make sure it reflects who you are in your company. Think about what your customer or supplier or business associate would think if they saw that email address associated with your company?

Effective email begins with the impression you make that reflects who you are and that begins with the email address. Think about it this way. When you were born, your parents gave you a name. You had no choice in the matter. When you set up your email address, you get to choose. Choose wisely!

I’ll be back on Wednesday with part two of my effective email series. Stay tuned!

I’d love your comments and, if you’ve found value in this post, please…

Share this:

Should Your Child Have a Blog? Part 2

September 21, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Last week, I posted part one of Should Your Child Have a Blog? where I shared the positive aspects. This week, I’d like to share the negative aspects of your child having a blog.

Too much inward time to retreat into shyness

One of the drawbacks of spending time by himself is that your child may withdraw further into his shell and retreat back into his shyness. While communicating online can be a good way to slowly immersing himself in communication with others, a blog is more solitary than is social networking.

Rude Spam Comments

Be careful of the dreaded rude spam comments he will need to filter through. Some are simply nonsense, but some are inappropriate or even worse. One way to help with spam is to install Akismet which will put all comments not already approved into a folder on your blog that you can either delete or approve as you like. The problem with this is that if you let your child filter them, he will need to read them through in order to do so.

Too much access /too public

Though the search engines generally don’t bring many visitors to a blog or site unless it’s optimized or heavily marketed, a WordPress blog may already be optimized for search engine optimization. If you decide to allow your child to use Homeschool Blogger, there is a built in community of bloggers. You may not want your child to be that accessible to the public.

False sense of security

Just because there are no comments on a blog doesn’t mean nobody is reading it. There is sometimes a false sense of security in a blog that has no comments which can lead to the divulging too much personal information.

Too open/free with info

If your child falls into the above category, he may be too open and free with personal information which can lead to various online problems including damaged friendships as information gets back to offline friends from those who are reading and even stalking situations.

Comment Envy

Lastly, I’d like to mention what I call Comment Envy. This is the term I coined for what you feel when you write a fabulous blog post that will solve world hunger or create world peace and you only get three comments (and one of them is a man who found you on Google and wants to know how you found your template.) Now the focus is on the fame and not on the content or the great benefits you originally talked about when agreeing to let him have a blog.

Blogging can be a wonderful experience for a child, but a parent needs to take into account many negative and positives about blogging as well as their own child’s age and personality before coming to a decision. Even after that decision has been carefully weighed, periodic monitoring is always a good idea to ensure that blogging is still a good idea for your child.

What are your thoughts? Does your child have a blog? Share your story.

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: blog, child, homeschool blogger, parent, personal information, security, WordPress

How to Handle a Discouraging Word

September 19, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Last week I wrote part one of A Discouraging Word. This week, I’d like to share how we might more effectively handle those who have a discouraging word for us.

1. Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave

This is a line from the penguins of Madagascar my son loves to watch, but it is also a great way to handle those who have an occasional discouraging word. If Ursula Uplift doesn’t usually present a problem in this area, you might just want to smile and wave. Just brush it off. It’s easier to do this with someone who doesn’t always sing that tune. If you find that you are too tired to discuss the matter, you don’t have to. Just chalk it up to a bad day or a poor choice of words on Ursula’s part and move on.

2. Confront them

If Wendy Wetblanket makes a habit of it, it might be time to confront her, especially if Wendy is someone you see more than occasionally. As long as you bring it up in grace, asking her to please help support you, it should be received well. Boldness tempered by grace is the key to sharing your thoughts effectively and with a minimum of ~~Blood Loss~~ Love Lost.

3. Stop hanging around them

When Wendy Wetblanket turns into Bobbi Bully, the preferable alternative is to seek friendlier skies. With friends like that, who needs enemies? If this person is causing you or your family undue stress to the point where it is undermining your ability to do the work the Lord has for you, it’s usually best not to spend as much time with them. This is difficult and not always advisable if it is a close family member, but you may need to limit your exposure to their toxic talk.

4. Make sure it’s not rubbing off on you

Lastly, after years of exposure to Toxic Talk, it is all too easy to either believe it or reflect it. If someone tells you how worthless you are on an ongoing basis, you may begin to see false truth in their toxic words. God doesn’t make worthless people and He made you for a special reason as He did each on of us. You have a unique set of strengths and weaknesses that He wishes to use for His purpose. Let Him. On the other hand, if you hear toxic talk all your life, you may be tempted to treat others as you have been treated. Remember Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” If a harsh or discouraging word should slip out of your mouth, apologize as soon as you can.

5.Be grace-filled

Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Whether you have to confront someone, back away from someone or even address a small issue with a virtual stranger, make every effort to be grace-filled as you do so and be ready to forgive and forget if the situation does present itself. Little misunderstandings can grow into major problems even if you try to communicate well all along the way. We are all human and make mistakes and it takes two to communicate effectively. You can speak as eloquently as an angel, but if the other person isn’t listening, your message won’t get through. Speak in grace anyway.

There may come a time when that other person may change or comes to you for forgiveness. Whether or not you feel led to resume your friendship, make every effort to be grace-filled as you do. Sometimes that means picking up where you left off without rehashing the issue and sometimes it means quietly letting them go without attempting to get another word in edgewise. If you’ve said your peace and they have demonstrated that they will not or cannot do what you need to keep the relationship, it is more grace-filled to just let it be than to take every opportunity to reopen old wounds.

6. Keep supportive friends close

Handling those who utter discouraging words can be difficult, especially without the help and support of good and trusted friends. As discouraging words can bring you down, encouraging words from supportive friends will give you strength, peace and will uplift you.

There is no formula for the perfect way to communicate in every situation with every person because each situation is slightly different and each person is a unique creation of God. However, if I were to come close to a formula that would suit almost any situation it would be this, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: discouraging words, Ephesians, Family, friends, grace, Proverbs

Should Your Child Have a Blog? Part 1

September 14, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

For the last two weeks, I’ve been talking about the pitfalls and blessings of having your child on Facebook. This week, I’d like to focus on a slightly different communication venue. Should your child have a blog? Just as there are both blessings and dangers with Facebook, there are slightly different blessings and dangers with a blog. This week, I’m going to focus on the positive aspects and next week I’ll focus on the negative ones. Here we go…

1. Typing skills. While you may only post a limited amount of characters on a Facebook post, a blog gives your child the ability to type as long as he or she would like. This allows your child to practice a very important skill used heavily in the Information Age!

2. Spelling, punctuation and grammar skills! Because your child will be typing more than one liners, quotes or sentence fragments, he will be able to practice the art of writing! This includes little things lost on most of the youth today like spelling, grammar, punctuation, making paragraphs, using a topic sentence, etc. Keep in mind that most blogs like WordPress or Blogger have a built in spell check that will auto correct when mistakes are made. If you ask your son to pay attention to these corrections, instead of ignoring them, he can learn how to spell, punctuate, etc.

3. Journaling. If you employ the use of a nature journal or other journaling, a blog is a fabulous way to keep your child’s journal! No mess. No storage problem and no cross outs!

4. No interaction. If you are worried about the “socialization” your child might be involved in while on a social networking site like Facebook, you can eliminate that issue completely with blogging by turning off the comments feature. If you’re worried a bit about privacy, you might want to consider that while a social networking site is designed to be more visible, people pay big bucks to have their website or blog appear on the top of the search engines! While your son’s blog may be accessible by anyone on the net, it’s much less likely that anyone will unless the exact URL is given out. And you can control that.

5. Cathartic. If your child has been having a difficult time with a particular issue, it can be beneficial for him to write about it. While you may not want this type of deeply personal information to be posted on a public place like Facebook, it might be acceptable to you and to him to post it on a blog.

6. Become an Author. Your child’s writings may become a best selling book one day! There have been many stories of people who started writing their thoughts on a blog and turned those articles or blog posts into a book. Feed your child’s passion by allowing him a venue to air his ideas, feelings or passions. Does he love taking pictures? Have him post his art on a blog. Does your daughter have a passion for sharing her ideas on abortion? Have her create a series of blog posts from them as she thinks of them.

7. Write articles. Does your child have an ambition to get into journalism? Have him write a series of articles on current events. Do you homeschool and want a way to keep your daughter’s essays? Have her keep them on a blog. At the end of the year, you’ll have easy access to her work and can even print them all off to show her work to grandparents.

8. Sharing ideas and keeping in touch. Blogging is a great way for your child to keep in touch with family and friends living far away. Your daughter can post what’s going on in her life and her friends and family can post comments in reply. It’s much less expensive than texting and it allows all who know her url to have her post available to read and reread.

9. Chronicle a trip, a mission, an idea or a time of life. When my daughter left to be a Russian exchange student for a semester, she started a blog to chronicle her experiences. It was such fun for family and friends to read about her life there and now she has a permanent record of them she can go back to whenever she likes. Your son can chronicle his experiences in 8th grade, working at a part time job, volunteering at a soup kitchen, etc. The possibilities are endless.

10. Start a business. Sometimes our children have a unique idea that catches on. Why not start posting about it on a blog? Later on, you can add a shopping cart to sell an eBook he wrote on that topic or use things like Google Adsense to generate revenue to save for his college expenses.

Blogging is more like writing where as Facebook is more like texting. Blogging allows your child to perfect his writing skills and also other communication skills as he responds to the comments left on his blog by friends and family. He’ll learn how to be diplomatic, how to take criticism, how to be an effective communicator in writing. Blogging is a great way to introduce your child to communication skills he may not otherwise be exposed to at a young age. This can serve him well in life as he gets older.

I hope you found these tips helpful. Next week I’m going to share the negative aspects of blogging. Until then, share your experiences in blogging. Do you blog? Do you allow your children to blog? What have you found helpful about blogging?

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: blog, blogger, blogging, communication, Facebook, social networking

Part 2: Should Your Child Be on Facebook?

September 5, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Last week I shared part one of Should Your Child Be on Facebook? I shared the benefits of allowing your older child to have a Facebook account. I’ll bet there were some things that surprised you, weren’t there? Well, this week, I might surprise you again when I share the drawbacks and even the dangers of having your child on Facebook.

One big Facebook No No is if your child is under age. Don’t start too young. Facebook rules say you have to be 13 to create an account. The only way around this is if you lie. I’ve met some parents–even Christian parents–who tell me they allow their 11 year old children to misrepresent their age to Facebook in order to get an account. Not only is this against the rules, but this is a bad lesson to communicate to your children: it’s okay to lie sometimes. You may not come right out and say so, but this communicates the message indirectly.

Privacy is another issue that we all have to contend with on a public social network like Facebook. It’s even more of a challenge for the young who believe they are invincible. Nothing bad can happen to them! They’re Super Kid! Laugh not for this is what many young people think is true of many issues. It’s actually a recent scientific discovery that teenagers brains do not yet allow them to think things through as adults do. They tend to make rash decisions. It’s so easy to give away too much information on the net and that can land you in trouble with friends or open you to potentially harmful consequences.

If you’re a homeschooler, you’ve often been asked, “What about socialization?” Well, what about it on Facebook? If your child is on Facebook and you are not monitoring it closely, he could end up friends with folks that give him the wrong kind of socialization. There is a growing trend to be less cordial and much more brazen when you don’t have to look the other person in the eye. This may not be the kind of social time you want your 13 year old to have.

Too much time online may discourage in person friendships and take time away from homework, chores or family interaction.

While Facebook may be a great way to ease shy people into communication situations as we talked about last week, it is also an easy way for shy people to retreat into themselves and avoid human contact. They may become comfortable socializing ONLY if they are not face to face with someone. This may have the reverse effect.

As a corollary to being treated badly by others on Facebook, the idea that nobody can see you may make children feel like these relationships are not real which will allow them to feel more inclined to treat people with less grace themselves. This behavior may transfer over to real life.

Finally, children may have a problem choosing their friends wisely. It may be hard to police their Facebook activities fully. This may leave them time to friend people with whom you may not want them to have contact. If you have a Facebook account and are friends with your child, he may get a friend invitation from one of your adult friends. This may make him feel uncomfortable about saying no and/or may open this person’s friends to do the same.

These are just a few of the issues, dangers or drawbacks in allowing your child to have a Facebook account. I think each child is different and each parent will need to take these issues into account before deciding whether or not to grant permission to each child and at what age.

What has your experience been with children on Facebook? What do you think is the right age for your child? What considerations, restrictions or instructions have you given your children? Or do you allow them to be on at all? Share!

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: children, consequences, Facebook, friends, homeschooler, socialization

Should your child be on FB? Part 1

August 29, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Some say Facebook is a blessing allowing you easily to keep in touch with friends and family, meet like-minded people, help you find a job or even market your business. Others say Facebook is a waste of time and, too easily, an invasion of your privacy. I say Facebook is a tool, a communication tool, much like email, the cell phone and your mouth. What you get out of it often depends upon your input, expectations and most of all, how you use it.

But is it a good idea for your children? In this article I’m going to share the benefits and drawbacks of allowing your children to have a Facebook account. Due to the length of this article, I am going to break it down into two parts. In this first part, I’ll cover the benefits of allowing your child to have a Facebook account. Next Monday, I’ll post part two in which I’ll discuss the drawbacks. You may be quite surprised at what I have to share on both sides of the issue!

One of the benefits of allowing your son or daughter to have a Facebook account is that it is a fantastic way to hone his communication skills. By interacting with friends and family on Facebook, your child will learn to tailor his message to each individual as he posts comments on Grandma’s wall or to little Jimmy who moved away last month. He’ll also gain description skills that communicating via the phone or in person would not afford him. Body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are absent from Facebook posts. It becomes necessary for Bobby to effectively describe the school project he had to do for history class instead of just show it to Jimmy. Facebook, if used in this manner can help increase his writing skills, especially if Bobby utilizes the Notes feature in order to write up his views expressed in his paper on Abortion. There are many examples of communication lessons to be learned by allowing your son or daughter to express themselves in writing on Facebook. These are but a few.

A second benefit of allowing your son or daughter to have a Facebook account is in increasing his expertise when interacting with folks of different beliefs and cultures. I’ll talk about the warnings of allowing your young children to get on or friend people he doesn’t know in part two, but let’s assume Bobby is 16 and has relatives in other states or countries. What a wonderful opportunity to learn about their culture and experiences! He’ll learn how other cultures see the world, how they live and may even see pictures recently taken of the Liberty Bell, or the Washington Monument or Big Ben!

An additional advantage is that your child will learn how communication works in the technological age they live in and will work in. Many companies are now hiring people to man Twitter and Facebook accounts in order to help customers who post they are having trouble with their company or product. I’ve had a very large company contact me via the social networking sites after I posted that I was having a hard time with one of their products. He helped me solve the problem! While your son may not be hired to do this, he will very likely need to understand the inner workings of communication in the technological age. In addition, Facebook has been used to catch criminals, to find a job, to recover a child during an Amber Alert and to ask for help or prayer with some serious matters. Facebook is not only the wave of the future, it is a most efficient way to disseminate information and get feedback!

Facebook is also a great way to stay in touch with family around the country build relationships with them and friends who moved away. I mentioned this earlier, but this may be the only way Bobby can have much of a relationship with his brother who is deployed or his grandmother who is back east. I have found Facebook to be a blessing in staying connected with my daughter while she has been 1800 miles away at college, when she was half way around the world as a Russian exchange student for a semester and when she was on a missions trip in Israel for two weeks!

Finally, Facebook is a fabulous start to overcoming shyness. Shy people are more likely to make friends or talk to friends if they can do so without having to be intimidated face-to-face. This can help build their confidence and self esteem enabling them to transition from online communication to in person conversations.

As you can see, Facebook is simply a tool. Used correctly, it can enhance your child’s communication skills and friendships. However, there are also some dangers. I’ll talk about them next week.

Can you think of any other benefits of allowing your (age appropriate) child to have a Facebook account? Share your stories and experiences with my readers!

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: children, college, communication, communication skills, Facebook, Family, friends, friendships, shyness

Test Your Communication Skill Level

June 29, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

I hope you enjoyed Communication Effectiveness Month. We talked about how communication skills affect just about every aspect of our lives from our parenting to our marriages and from our friendships to our careers. If you’d like to assess your communication skills, here is a communication quiz I designed years ago. I’ve copied part of it here, but you’ll see a link to the rest of it at the bottom of this post.

Communication Assessment Quiz

Check your CEQ: Communication Effectiveness Quotient.

1. How often do you feel intimidated by someone?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

2. How often does intimidation prevent you from speaking up?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

3. Do you shy away from conflict?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

4. How often do you find it difficult to get your point across?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

5. Do you find yourself angry with little idea of how to express yourself?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

6. Are you ineffective in diffusing another’s anger?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

7. Do you feel you are ineffective in getting what you want?
Always Often Occasionally Rarely Never

To finish the quiz, click here!

If you’ve identified an area that you’d like some help with, visit our website for a listing of various communication topics and age groups!

If you liked this post, make sure to subscribe to our RSS Feed so you don’t miss one and SUBSCRIBE to our newsletter: for even MORE communication fun, FREE gifts, Book of the Month Club and exclusive excerpts and offers we don’t share with ANYONE else but our subscribers!

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: age, Article, assessment, communication, quiz, Subscribe Here!, topics, website

How to Talk About Pain

June 22, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

In celebration of Effective Communication Month, the first week of June, I talked about how important texting and technology has been to the breakdown of communication skills. Last week, my blog interview guest shared how communication can help parenting and I introduced a contest you can enter to win free AoE communications studies by sharing how misunderstandings happen in every day lives. On Monday, my guest showed us how important communication skills are to a music teacher.

Today I’d like to share with you another important area of our lives that we don’t normally think of as being important when it comes to our communication skills. This is an article I found online via Web MD. It’s called, “How to Talk About Pain.”

If you’ve ever had to convey to a doctor about a chronic pain, you know just how difficult this can be. I have Fibromyalgia and I get headaches that last for days or even weeks. Just telling a doctor that you hurt isn’t helpful to them, even if they are inclined to believe you. They need to know how it hurts and exactly where. We need to be able to accurately describe the pain in order for our doctors to pinpoint the underlying cause of the pain and find a cure…or at least a temporary relief.

I was aware of some of the information in this article, but the article is written from a more medical perspective and reviewed by a doctor. It gives a much more enlightened view of exactly how we should describe our pain to our physician.

Have you ever had a problem trying to get your doctor to understand the pain you were in? How did you get through to them? Do you think this article will help you? I’d love your thoughts, especially if you suffer from chronic pain. Please share your story.

If you liked this post, make sure to subscribe to our RSS Feed so you don’t miss one and SUBSCRIBE to our newsletter: for even MORE communication fun, FREE gifts, Book of the Month Club and exclusive excerpts and offers we don’t share with ANYONE else but our subscribers!

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: chronic pain, cure, describe, Doctor, fibromyalgia, how it hurts, physician

When Technology Inhibits Effective Communication

June 8, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Monday we talked about the influence of texting on effective communication skills. Today I’d like to give you some links to articles I’ve written that shed a bit more light on the subject:

Communication Technology Doesn’t Replace Communication Skill!

My generation has gone from ABC, NBC and CBS to Cable TV, CDroms and DVDs. We have lived through the biggest technological advancements in history. We can now communicate with people around the world through cell phones, email, voicemail, videomail …and we can see political events unfolding as they happen! The internet wasn’t fast enough for us so we now have DSL and Cable that are 50x faster than the modems of two years ago! Computers weren’t portable enough so we now have laptops and PDAs. The technological world is obsessed with making communication technology faster, smaller and more powerful.

With so many ways to communicate, we are the most connected society that ever lived! So…what’s the name of your neighbor who lives three houses down from you? When was the last time you sat around the dinner table and had a good, old-fashioned conversation? How often do you feel ill-prepared to discuss important issues with your children? Is there a family member or business associate you are avoiding because you don’t know how to handle a delicate situation? How many times have you felt ineffective in getting your point across to others? (Click here to read the rest of this article.)

Tech is a Wonderful Thing…Until it Isn’t (Excerpt):

Technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t. So what’s a techno communicator to do? Well, since I am now well versed in the art of communicating when technology burps, I’ll share some tips with you.

1. If you know your computer is having some issues, when you are able, put out a message to your Yahoo group or friend or Facebook page letting folks know. When they don’t hear from you, they’ll have an inkling that your Methuselah is down with a serious case of e-Altzheimer’s.

2. If you know a friend is waiting for an email from you that you can’t get through, take a few minutes to call and let her know that she’ll be waiting a wee bit longer.

3. If you are having an email issue but do not have a phone number for the person, you can look it up on the web (provided that is still working of course!). I once had an issue getting an email to a small business owner. I didn’t know her well enough to have her phone number but I knew the name of her business. I Googled and found her website, looked up her contact page where I found her phone number. (Click here to read the entire article.)

How to Keep Professional When Technology Burps: (Excerpt)

Your first instinct is to PANIC and that makes dialing back into the podcast and remaining calm and positive and professional more difficult. What to do?

* Keep going!
The Show Must Go On! Before I switched my major to Speech Communication, I was a Voice Major in the Music Department. At the end of the semester you give a recital where you sing a selection from the pieces you have been learning for an audience made up of the professors from the Voice Department. Most of your grade rests with this performance. I sang in French, Italian, Latin and even one in English! I had no idea what I was saying which made learning the verses more difficult.

During the last song of the recital, I stood in front of the piano with my hands at my sides and my long gown on singing verse one. I was doing well. I didn’t crack on the high part and I looked the part of the diva! Then tragedy struck. As I came to the end of verse one, I began to realize that I had forgotten verse two! Thinking it would come to me, I kept calm and continued singing but alas the words to verse two escaped my memory. I decided to sing verse one again. Surely I would remember verse three by the time I got to the end! Well, no. By the time I was nearing the end of what should have been verse two, I had no recollection of verse three and so began my third rendition of verse one! I think there might have been four verses in this piece. Each and every time I repeated verse one.

If you think the music professors at Cal. State University Northridge might not have noticed, you would be wrong! This was a popular recital piece and they knew it well as they had heard it all week from my fellow voice majors in varying keys. My grade? “A”! Why? They were impressed with the way in which I handled the situation and concluded that most in the audience would not have known this piece may not even have noticed something was amiss! Remember, it’s all in the presentation! (Click here to read the rest of the article.)

See you on Friday for an Historic Communication Friday Funny YouTube video!

If you liked this post, make sure to subscribe to our RSS Feed so you don’t miss one and SUBSCRIBE to our newsletter: for even MORE communication fun, FREE gifts, Book of the Month Club and exclusive excerpts and offers we don’t share with ANYONE else but our subscribers!

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: cellphones, communication skill, Internet, technology, Video, videomail, voicemail, YouTube

Influence of Texting on Communication Skills

June 6, 2011 by Art of Eloquence

Communication FUNdamentals continues its celebration of Effective Communication Month! Last week we looked at the history of communication technology. Today, I’d like to talk about how that change in communication can affect the quality of our communication.

The Influence of Texting on Effective Communication Skills

By JoJo Tabares

“Nd U 2 gt rpt 2me by fri5. Bob”

Can you imagine receiving this email from a high level manager at a major corporation? What would you think of the company who sent this to you, their customer? If you think this is a an exaggeration, guess again! Many researchers believe that texting and email have contributed to the drastic decrease in effective communication skills of this generation. In this article, I am going to cover how texting and email have caused our skills to deteriorate even in the corporate world, how laziness has helped to increase miscommunication, how the impersonal nature of technological communication has increased rudeness and aggression, and hampered our friendships and other social skills. Lastly, I’m going to share some tips that will help you and your children avoid these pitfalls increasing your chances of success in your personal and professional life.

1. Bad Communication Skills Even in Corporate America:
“Communication is all anyone ever gets paid for ultimately…and if you cannot effectively communicate, you will pay…not get paid!” -Doug Firebaugh

According to a 2005 article in the Pittsburg Post Gazette, employers are complaining about communication skills. Bosses say the biggest failing among college graduates/job applicants is the inability to speak and write effectively. Communication skills now top the list of qualities employers seek because these are qualities they cannot teach in their two week new-hire training sessions. But these qualities are consistently at the bottom of the list perspective employees possess at the interview. According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, good communication skills were what employers said was most lacking in college job candidates.

Debra Vargulish is a training administrator at the Latrobe-based global tooling company who recruits on college campuses for Kennametal Inc. She reported that the students she meets are often inarticulate and shy, “They seem to be way better at using technology than older people. It’s actually the content that is missing. A lot of them don’t know what to say at all, and that’s not good.”

In my lifetime, technology has been nothing short of amazing! It has had some incredibly powerful influences on our ability to communicate. We are able to communicate with almost anyone around the world at the stroke of a key. We can find information in a nano second. Email and texting allow us convenient access to our friends on our schedule, give us a simple way to connect and pass along vital information, and help family and friends remain close even though they are hundreds of miles apart. However, texting and email has also been cited as a reason communication skills have deteriorated in recent years. The use of email shorthand is one of the reasons stated. According to a recent study, 25% have used emoticons in their school writing; 50% have used informal punctuation and grammar; 38% have used text shortcuts such as “LOL” meaning “laugh out loud”.

“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” -Hubert H. Humphrey

In a recent Harris Interactive and Teenage Research Unlimited survey, researchers found that instant messaging keeps families interconnected online, but can also lead to fewer in-person meetings, outings and less time actually talking. He said the data collected showed communicating online can be overused and is beginning to replace real-life relationships with virtual ones.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” -Lee Iacocca

2. People are getting lazy with info and not used to checking things out or thinking things through:

With so much information (and misinformation) a click away, many no longer do their due diligence to make sure they are passing along information that is accurate. Passing along misinformation can not only create a panic where none need exist but it can also destroy your credibility. I’ve seen large Facebook groups predicated on an untruth. When the group leaders find out their cause is invalid their group members have a hard time trusting them with any other information.

Laziness causes poor attention spans and writing skills as well. A recent story in the New York Times about the negative effects of text messaging reported statistics from the Nielsen Company showing teenagers in the United States averaged about 80 text messages per day in the fourth quarter of 2008. Text messages allow teenagers to communicate in places where cell phones are not allowed, primarily school. It’s fairly easy to hide a cell phone and text, and texting teenagers aren’t focusing on the lesson and a decreased attention span ensues. According to the University of Alabama computers and applied Technology Program 2009, “Technology Education: A Series of Case Studies,” Mrs. Diego’s 9th grade English student papers are fraught with short, choppy sentences that give no depth.

Further, many teens spend so much time texting, they are not aware of the proper uses of words or phrases and are not used to thinking things through. Here’s something I heard in the park the other day. A 14 y/o girl told her 4 y/o step sister, “Your soon-to-be father-in-law is on a plane right now.” As I listened to the conversation that followed where the older girl repeatedly used this term, it appeared that the 14 y/o was probably talking about her father who was going to adopt her step sister.

3. Increase in Rudeness and aggression:

According to Christina Durano, “Social Skills Impeded by Technology,” DailySkiff.com, “Not only do electronics hinder the development of our interpersonal communication skills, but they can also be just plain rude. Sometimes I want to grab the phone out of someone’s hands and throw it on the ground so they actually look at me during our conversation. It’s not that I think I’m so high and mighty that I actually deserve people’s attention; it’s just that there are some basic rights everyone deserves – one of which is the right to have a two-way conversation.”

Have you noticed how inconsiderate some movie goers are lately? You can’t step into a movie theater anymore without encountering a sea of cell phones backlit as their owners thumb their way through endless online games or beep-ridden text messaging. And don’t get me started on the increased aggression on forums, Yahoo groups and chats due to the anonymity of the faceless, impersonal connections made online. People feel justified in expressing anger and voicing disrespect because they don’t have to look their victims in the eye when they communicate it.

4. Hampering Friendships and social skills
There are severe disadvantages to the influence of technology on interpersonal communication. In our zest to connect with people all over the globe, we often neglect our own neighbors. Togetherness is being neglected in contradiction to the basic survival instinctual behaviors. People won’t see any need to be more physically interactive. Already it is possible to perform major activities without physical interaction — it’s even possible to exercise or engage in sporting activities with a virtual competitor.

Because of the increase in text messaging and email, some experts like Rick Pukis, an Associate Professor of Communications at Augusta State University, say texting could be affecting the way we interact.

“Text messaging has made us a very impersonal society today. They’re not communicating, not using any facial expressions, like smiling so when they get back into a situation where they’re talking to someone, they don’t smile,” said Pukis.

“Someone can whip one out in thirty seconds and they’re like, ‘Ahh, I took care of this, I communicated. You didn’t really communicate, you just shot out a one line sentence over to me and didn’t really convey any thoughts,” said Pukis.

My niece recently attended a friend’s birthday party and found herself in the middle of a texting marathon. Each girl, cell phone in hand, was texting the boys who were not present at the party and each other even though they were in the room with each other for several hours!

5. What to do?

In order for you and your family to avoid these pitfalls which can result in a serious lack of effective communication skills that can hamper your personal and professional success in life, I recommend you don’t overlook studying communication skills. Art of Eloquence has a wealth of information on our site dedicated to your success.

The Lord tells us in Proverbs 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” And remember that, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw

Share this:

Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: aggression, communication, communication skills, corporate america, Doug Firebaugh, friendships, history of technology, interpersonal communication, laziness, lazy, rudness, social skills, technology, texting, thinking things through

Effective Email (part one)

Should Your Child Have a Blog? Part 2

How to Handle a Discouraging Word

Part 2: Should Your Child Be on Facebook?

Should your child be on FB? Part 1

Test Your Communication Skill Level

How to Talk About Pain

When Technology Inhibits Effective Communication

NEWEST From Art of Eloquence!

Subscribe to JoJo’s NEW Blog

Customer Comments

Recommended by HSLDA & TOS

Join us on Facebook

We take Visa, MasterCard & PayPal