Communication Articles

Technology is a Wonderful Thing…Until it Isn’t!

May 12, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Technology is an amazing tool with which we can enrich our lives by communicating with and learning from people all around the world. It allows us to have a long distance friendship, keep in touch with our college kids away from home, meet amazing people, build a business faster and more efficiently, and to research and learn things in seconds that would have taken hours or even years the old fashioned way: the card catalog! However, when technology burps, we can find ourselves in 57 varieties of hot water!

My cable company decided to upgrade their outdated equipment in order to “improve” their service to me and ended up taking down the entire phone, internet and cable for all of their customers within a 10 mile radius…AGAIN! This made it rather difficult to make my podcast that morning.

My computer, Methuselah of Ancient Rome, has a terminal case of OLD: Often Loses touch with Data! Ever try typing a Word Doc when your fingers type 80 words a minute but your computer screen only displays at the rate of 6 letters per minute? That new eBook o’ mine’ll be ready in 2034! It also makes for interesting email, Facebook and Twitter posts because it’s difficult to gauge how many letters are being deleted when you backspace after an error. Additionally, you are hard pressed to know exactly what you clicked on because the screen will scroll up and down indiscriminately.

The magnetic strip on my debit card once rendered itself useless. They say it’s because my wallet has a magnetic closure. So after finding the perfect gift for my daughter for Christmas, the last one left on the shelf…

A few weeks ago, I had a problem that I don’t even know enough about in order to place blame. The upshot was that I could receive emails but I couldn’t send. It lasted for a few days giving an internet friend of mine cause to wonder if I was mad at her because I wasn’t responding when she knew I was home working on my computer!

Over the last few months I have had someone try to subscribe to our newsletter using a Yahoo group’s email address (the email you use to send a message to an entire Yahoo group). Since I don’t belong to that Yahoo group, the message comes back undeliverable and I have no way of letting her know why she hasn’t received the newsletter.

Methuselah once decided he didn’t want to keep all my internet passwords anymore. So when I went into Yahoo Groups and Aweber and my online banking, etc. I was unable to prove I was really me even though, at that moment, I didn’t think anyone would really want the job!!

Technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t. So what’s a techno communicator to do? Well, since I am now well versed in the art of communicating when technology burps, I’ll share some tips with you.

1. If you know your computer is having some issues, when you are able, put out a message to your Yahoo group or friend or Facebook page letting folks know. When they don’t hear from you, they’ll have an inkling that your Methuselah is down with a serious case of e-Altzheimer’s.

2. If you know a friend is waiting for an email from you that you can’t get through, take a few minutes to call and let her know that she’ll be waiting a wee bit longer.

3. If you are having an email issue but do not have a phone number for the person, you can look it up on the web (provided that is still working of course!). I once had an issue getting an email to a small business owner. I didn’t know her well enough to have her phone number but I knew the name of her business. I Googled and found her website, looked up her contact page where I found her phone number.

4. Slow the rate of your typing down to more closely match the speed at which your computer is displaying it. Not only is it easier to follow, but it keeps you from making mistakes that have to be backspaced and corrected. It also keeps you from clicking on things you don’t mean to click on because you are ahead of yourself.

5. Keep a hard copy record of all your online passwords. I used to have a copy of it in my computer, but it was in a part of the computer that was having “issues” that day!

6. Buy quality if you can! As a person who was always having to save a buck, I can’t tell you how many times I ended up causing myself more time, trouble and money by not spending more up front for something that would last. This may require a little persuasive communication either with yourself or your spouse.

If you follow these simple Techno Trouble Avoidance Rules, you will have more effective and stress free communication when technology burps because technology is a wonderful thing…until it isn’t!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication technology, Communication tips, technology

Mirror, Mirror on My Words

May 7, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Mirror, mirror on my words

which reflect upon my heart.

Interpretation others find

whether I choose wisely or do not!

Americans understand that we have the right to free speech, but what we often fail to understand is that our communication has consequences. What we say affects people either negatively or positively. What we say may be interpreted the way we intended or in a way we never even anticipated.

Some of the things we say are of little consequence, but much of what we say may have dire consequences if we are not properly understood. If we misspeak and everyone comes to our dinner party a day early while we are in our PJ’s, it could only be embarrassing. But if we misspeak in our resume, we may not get the job! If we misspeak while trying to sharing the Gospel with someone, we may inadvertently lead him away from the Lord.

What if we misspeak on our website? Our sales brochure? Our book? Our letter to the editor? Our ad?

I see so many marketing “gurus” who say that spelling doesn’t matter, grammar isn’t important and that mistakes are even preferable. However, did you know that many times your communication is simply dismissed without you having any way of knowing? How many times do people click out of your website because you have 16 mistakes in the first paragraph? You may never know unless you engage the help of a good editor.

Our communication matters. Many times it isn’t the words we use but the way we come across that makes or breaks our effectiveness.

If you’re looking for a good editor, you won’t do better than mine: Carla Ives from A Word Aptly Written. She not only spots misspelled words from tall buildings in a single bound, but she allows your personality and style to shine through your work.

Want to hear more about this amazing purveyor of fine words? Check out Grace Talk Soup! She’s my co host each Thursday morning at 8am PST/ 11am EST. But if you missed the live show, just scroll down to the show’s archives and listen to the past recordings. You’ll be very glad you did!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, editing, image, professional

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

May 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

10.Your Education
9. Your Job
8. Your Relatives
7. Your Business
6. Your Employees
5. Your Witness
4. Your Friends
3. Your Children
2. Your Marriage
1. Your happiness

Studies show that effective communicators do better in school, have deeper relationships, longer marriages, are more successful, make more money and are generally happier than their less articulate counterparts. The Lord felt communication skills so important for our lives that He mentions communication skills literally HUNDREDS of times in His Word.

“Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” -Colossians 4:6

“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” -1Peter 3:15

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” -Proverbs 22:11

“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

Just to name a few…

Most people think communication is an elective, a speech class, a skill only lawyers and politicians need, something you learn by osmosis just by talking. If I were to tell you that math was an elective, you’d think I was nutz. Math is a core subject that everyone needs, right? Yes, but how many times did the Lord mention math in the Bible? He saw fit to mention communication skills hundreds of times!

If I were to tell you that you actually make speeches all day long, you’d wonder about my sanity, but what is a speech? According to Merriam Webster.com, speech is defined as:

1. a) the communication or expression of thoughts in spoken words, b) the exchange of spoken words: Conversation

2. a) something that is spoken: Utterance, b) usually a public discourse: Address

And “The power of expressing or communicating thoughts by speaking”

So when we are having a conversation, we are really making a series of mini speeches in response to another’s mini speeches. When we are disciplining our children, we are making a mini speech. And when we are trying to convince our neighbor to be more careful of our begonias, are we not making a speech?

Talking doesn’t make you an excellent communicator any more than painting makes you Thomas Kinkaid! They say practice makes perfect, but while at my son’s golf class yesterday, the instructor reminded me that it isn’t practice that makes perfect. Practice makes permanent. Perfect practice makes perfect!

How good is Tiger Woods? He’s not good because he hit the golf ball several hundred times, he’s good because he had a coach who taught him to hit them well!

If you aren’t getting proper instruction, you aren’t learning excellence! Nobody questions that Tiger Woods needs a coach though he is considered the best golfer in the world right now! So why is that we hear folks say, “Oh I took a speech course once back in high school”? Do you think Tiger took one golf lesson back in high school?

If your education, your relationships, your career, your family, your children’s future, your financial security and your happiness all depend upon the effectiveness of your communication, why aren’t you studying it? Why aren’t you teaching your children? Isn’t it time to start?

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: boss, children, co workers, communication skills, education, employees, Family, happiness, marriage, relatives, Subscribe Here!

Speak Not

April 18, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

“Tis better to be thought a fool, than open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” -Abraham Lincoln

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” a time to speak and a time to…NOT! Our society values information and we assign value to the person who shares it. In his quest for acceptance and to rise to that level of value, man attempts to share what he knows, even if he isn’t sure he knows it.

It isn’t a crime to be ignorant. All intelligent and knowlegable men are ignorant of SOMETHING. Great is the man who shares his knowledge with others, but far greater still is the man who possesses the ability to keep silent when he knows not.

Every parent knows the value of the sound of silence. lol Sometimes the most intelligent thing to say is…nothing.

For more communication tips and insights, freebies and exclusive offers, subscribe to What’s New at Art of Eloquence!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Silence, sound of silence, speak not

Spirit of Fear

April 5, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

Spirit of Fear
By JoJo Tabares

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” -2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

Fear in speaking with others is timidity or what we call shyness. According to Webster’s dictionary, shyness means “sensitive and hesitant in dealing with others”. This is not the spirit of power that should be present inside the Christian for we know that with the Lord all things are possible and, if the Lord is for us, who can be against us?

Research shows that 87% of what we do all day is communication related. Maybe that is why the Bible speaks about communication skills hundreds of times. The Father gives each of us a mission in life and something to say that someone needs to hear. He also tells us to go out and share the Good News. God doesn’t say this lightly knowing that some are born with confidence and some are born with shyness! He tells us this because He has put within each one of us the tools needed to stand up and share with His children each in our own way.

Many people mistakenly think that shyness is a character trait or a personality flaw. It is not. For the most part, it is the result of not being comfortable or experienced with certain aspects of communication for some period of time. The longer a person has experienced himself as shy, the stronger its hold over him. Communication is actually a set of skills that can be learned and must be practiced to reach mastery. Anyone and everyone can learn them. Not everyone will have the same aptitude, but all can learn to be comfortable and confident enough in order to complete the work the Lord has given them in their life!

The challenge is to find the appropriate key to unlock and let go of the shyness within. I liken learning communication skills to swimming because the analogy is fairly accurate. When teaching a young child to swim, a common technique is to throw them into the ocean or pool. The child is supposed to use instincts to get to the other side as they are carefully watched over by their parent. The idea is that when they get to the other side, they realize that they didn’t drown and actually accomplished the goal. Unfortunately, that method works only about half the time! The other half of the time it goes like this: The child is petrified! They are thrown into the water and panic sets in. Instinctively they thrash about and somehow make it to the other side. Instead of feeling relieved and excited that they accomplished their goal of swimming, they are now terrified of water and they vow never to do that again!

So it is with speech classes. Some children run into my classes, sit in the front row and can’t wait to get up to speak! The other half are kicked in by their parents, stand at the entrance wide-eyed resembling a deer in the headlights and sit down after some coaxing on my part. What happens inside that first speech class is critical! Will they feel comfortable enough to take more steps along the road to effective communication skills or will they grit their teeth and bear it making a solemn vow before God to avoid any further speaking opportunities that might come along?

The idea isn’t to get them through a speech class. The goal is to create a more confident and powerful speaker who will have the spirit of power in the Lord! To that end, I teach with humor. It disarms the fear allowing them to forget that they expected it to be hard and scary. I don’t throw them in the water. Instead, I have them stick their big toe in, giving them a chance to acclimate their body to the water’s temperature. This allows them to take baby steps further in the ocean we call communication.

Where did I get my training for this? Some might think it was at California State University, Northridge where I got my degree in Speech Communication, but they would be wrong. It was from a little girl who was terrified to speak- not only in public, but one on one. It was that little girl who grew up lonely and afraid of so many things. It was that painfully shy girl who missed out on so much. She taught me a lot about what shy children need. Many of my students thank me for the training she provided. Her name? JoJo.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: 2 Timothy 1:7, communication skills, spirit of fear

Why aren't some words words?

March 10, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

dunce-award-2001 Why are some words not words you ever hear used? In fact, if you use them, you have a good chance of being perceived as unintelligent.

If unbelievable means NOT believable and unimaginable means NOT imaginable, then uncouth means NOT couth. But couth isn’t a word that is ever used. The dictionary describes “uncouth” as strange, clumsy, lacking in polish and grace, so “couth” would be the opposite of uncouth. And if you look in the dictionary, you will find this to be the case. But nobody ever uses it, well…almost nobody:

“You can get yus’ as couth as you wan’ as long as it doesn’ cos’ me any money!”-Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy

Isn’t it strange that we can be thought inarticulate by using words correctly? I often teach my students that it is often more important to “speak good” in order to be clear than it is to speak correctly and be thought a fool. ahhhh-2001

If we speak in the tongues of men and of the learned but have confused our listeners we are as a clanging cymbal. Often we must choose between what is correct and what will gain the desired response and it can be a tricky choice. Sometimes I choose to reword my entire sentence in order to be grammatically correct without using the confusing word or phrase. Other times I decide to say the incorrect thing so that I will be understood by most of my audience even if it might cause apoplectic fits of indignation from a few.

“From whom did you receive that tidbit of auspicious news?”

Stay tuned for upcoming episodes of Grace Talk Soup where my co host and I will be discussing this issue in some depth. Until then, this is Lucy Linguist signing off until our next episode of I Love Language!

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: couth, I Love Lucy, language, uncouth

Foot in Mouth Marketing

March 3, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

fimm-cut-out

Do you ever wonder if FIMM has infiltrated the marketing world? Have you noticed recently how many newsletters, sales ads, cable TV commercials and products have gone out without benefit of a good editor?

There’s a funny that’s been making the internet rounds for years which shows you the power of the human mind to grasp the meaning of the written word even though certain letters are missing.

“Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.”

True though this may be, there is a big difference between being able to understand something and holding it in high esteem.

Current popular thinking tells us that “spelng” isn’t important, taking care not to words out doesn’t hurt your message any, editors are just high priced nitpickers, and who needs to learn to communicate effectively anyway? After all, it’s YOUR problem if you don’t understand ME!

You all remember the controversy over 2 + 2 = 5 in public schools where teachers were told not to “damage a child’s self-esteem” or “stifle his creativity” by telling him he is…WRONG. We all know that Johnny’s boss isn’t going to care about his creativity if his budget comes up short because $20k plus $20k isn’t $50k! And Johnny’s self-esteem is going to take a big hit when he’s UNEMPLOYED!

The same holds true for how we communicate. Words mean things and the words we use and the manner in which we use them is important. This is true not only because we might not be understood, but because we might not make the impression we desire!

Consider the following examples of Foot in Mouth Marketing that should have been run past a good editor:

“Perishable. Homemade Baby. Keep Refrigerated.” (Box of baby food jars)

“Tastes like Grandma! Homemade Jam” (I’m afraid to ask how they know!)

Another popular myth about communication is that all we need is our right to Free Speech and we’re ‘good to go’. Everyone has the right to say whatever they wish; this is America! What they don’t always understand is that those listening have the right to interpret it any way THEY like.

“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” -Hubert H. Humphrey

Consider these marketing tactics that leave a somewhat sour impression:

“Hitler Handkerchief Perfume” (Perhaps bringing it more current: Bin Ladden?)

“Great Value: 2 DVDs $6.99!” (Which ones? FEAR.com and Care Bears Share a Scare)

Everything we say and do (and everything we don’t say and don’t do) communicates something to someone. It isn’t always just a matter of being understood. Many times it’s a matter of making the impression you desire.

“Litercy Night! September 7, 2008” (Of course, if you can’t read, you might not know it isn’t worth it to attend!)

Here is a picture of an actual SAT study guide we found for my daughter last year. Barron’s is a well-known company! We didn’t buy it. Can you guess why?

barrons-sat-prep-23nd-edition

We do the same thing when we speak and our listeners interpret what we say and how we say it in order to formulate opinions about us and our credibility. Being understood is only HALF the battle. Making a good impression or being able to persuade or being taken seriously is the other! That’s why it’s vital that we learn to become effective communicators. That’s why I teach the Art of Eloquence.

By the way, if you need an excellent editor/proofreader. I highly recommend Carla Ives from A Word Aptly Written.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: editing, FIMM, foot in mouth marketing, Friday Funnies, funny ads, internet marketing, marketing

Foot in Mouth Disease

February 24, 2009 by Art of Eloquence

You’ve all heard the expression, “Open mouth; insert foot!” I call it Foot in Mouth Disease and feet are the delicacy of FIMM: Foot in Mouth Man. But FIMM is so funny precisely because we all can relate. We have all been FIMMpersonators at one time or another. It’s just that FIMM sticks his foot in his mouth so often he has Athlete’s Tongue!

There is a story floating around the internet that the Arizona Republic was supposed to have reported. I cannot find the original story, but that is not unusual as I have been known to search Google for “pickles” and end up with information on juice boxes!

The story is about a man named Terry Mikel who was reportedly pulled over for speeding while heading to Tuscon. The officer gave him a warning and told him to “drive safe”. Mr. Mikel just couldn’t help himself. He was apparently a card carrying member of the “Conversation Correction Patrol.” He told the officer that he should have said, “slow down and drive safely” at which point the officer handed him a $72 speeding ticket!

I don’t know if there really is a Terry Mikel or if he really received a speeding ticket exactly this way, but I am sure of one thing. Human beings find it exceedingly difficult to hold their tongues!

“Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” -Psalm 141:3

Not having the discipline to keep the door of your lips will cost you! But, if you think $72 is costly, think again at how much more trouble our mouths have gotten us into!

How much would it cost you if you didn’t keep the door of your lips with your customer? Your employee? Your BOSS? What price would you put on a friendship? On your marriage? On your relationship with your children?

Keeping watch over our tongues and our mouths takes skill and practice. Is it ever fully achieved? No!

“But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” -James 3:8

But there are many lessons in God’s Word that teach us to attempt to control our mouths and others that tell us of the blessings we can bring forth with it.

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” -Proverbs 16:24

The Bible is full of hundreds of scriptures that teach us about the importance of how we communicate with each other. If the Lord felt it important enough to put in His Word hundreds of times, it’s a subject He must want us to study! Amen?

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Bible, Chrsitian communication, mouth, scrpture, speech communication, tongue

Technology is a Wonderful Thing…Until it Isn’t!

Mirror, Mirror on My Words

Top 10 Reasons to Improve Your Communication Skills

Speak Not

Spirit of Fear

Why aren't some words words?

Foot in Mouth Marketing

Foot in Mouth Disease

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