What’s the most important New Year’s Resolution?

It’s that time of year again when people make New Year’s Resolutions and don’t keep them.

“Lose 20 pounds by July.”

…..“Start a new business and become independently wealthy.”

………………………………..“Organize my closet alphabetically and color code.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………“Quit smoking, again.”

I’m poking a little fun here, but these are all admirable goals.  The problem isn’t that they cannot be accomplished, but that we aren’t always serious when we make them.  And sometimes we aren’t always making New Year’s Resolutions about the things which are the most important to our lives.

First, most of us want things, but we are not always that willing to do what it takes in order to accomplish them.  We want to lose weight as long as it doesn’t require any exercise!   That would be why they sell so many diet pills.  We want to make more money, but we aren’t willing to invest in the things that will teach us how to get there.  That’s why there are so many “Get Rich Quick” programs on the internet and Marketing Gurus on Twitter.  Life’s not quite as challenging in many ways as it used to be and we prefer everything delivered in a nano second.

Additionally, sometimes we are so overwhelmed with the things the world feels are important that they obscure the the things that are really important.  Here are the most popular New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Lose Weight

2. Manage Debt

3. Save Money

4. Better Job

5. Get Fit

6.Better Education

7. Drink Less

8. Quit Smoking

9.Reduce Stress

10. Take a Trip

Was your New Year’s Resolution in there and was it the same the year before?  It’s interesting to me that among the top ten isn’t something like: get closer to God, read my Bible daily, do something for others, help others come to the saving knowledge of Christ, heal my marriage, build closer relationships with family, spend time with my children, help my neighbors…

When asked what is most important in life, most people will say God, children, marriage, friendships, etc.  So why the disconnect in what most folks want to accomplish in the next 12 months?  When we die, we won’t be content to look back having left behind a legacy of thinness, smokeless-ness and wealth.  We want to look back on our lives and see the lives we’ve touched.  We want to see what we have done for the Kingdom of God.  We want to know that our children have fond memories and ideals we have taught them.  We want to leave behind a legacy of memories that can only be created by strong relationships.

What most people don’t realize is that a strong relationship cannot be built or enjoyed without good communication skills.  You cannot have a relationship with someone without communicating with them.  So this year, as you think about your New Year’s Resolutions, please consider not just what you need or want, but what you can build.  Consider the legacy you want to leave behind.  Consider how you can build that legacy through strong, close relationships with your spouse, children, friends, neighbors, co workers and family members.  Consider spending a little time, effort and perhaps even a wee bit of money to accomplish these most important things in your life.

We believe that one of the best ways to do that is to invest in yourself (in your education) that will allow you to strengthen these important relationships.  Check out Art of Eloquence before you make those New Year’s Resolutions and see how we can help you achieve the MOST important resolutions of all: Stronger Relationships!

Happy New Year from the Art of Eloquence family to yours!

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It’s December. Now how did THAT happen? lol

Ok so it’s December 1st, 2009.  Wasn’t it just January?  Come to think of it…wasn’t it just 1995…about two years ago?  The older I get, the faster time goes by.  As my father always says, “Tempus certainly does fugit!”  They say time flies when you’re having fun, but I don’t remember having THAT much fun!

So how does this happen?  How do you go from being a young girl without a care in the world one moment to a 47 year old mother of a college girl and a homeschooled 10 y/o son the next?  As Lucy used to say, “Whahappen?”

So Christmas must be around 2 oclock today and 2010 is probably being held on Friday!  Are you ready? I’m not!  But I did spend a few millennia yesterday evening creating a really adorable CHRISTmas gift for all our newsletter subscribers and Facebook Fans.  It’s called “God is Everywhere.”   I will be unveiling it in about a week so, if you are not a subscriber or a fan club member, go directly to Sign Up or become a FAN!  Do not pass go!  Do not collect $200!

How fast does time fly for you?  Here’s a little quiz to help you along:

What year were you born-if you care to answer? (JoJo was born in 1962.)

What year were you married? (1987   That used to sound like 10 yrs ago!)

How old are your kids? (19 and 10)

How old were they yesterday? (15 and 6)

How old will they be tomorrow? (40 and 31)

I now return you to your life in progress…QUICK!  You might miss something!

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Poll: Is Big Doctor Watching…Your Kids?

My dh took our son to CVS pharmacy to get his sports physical the other day.  I was shocked to hear the questions she asked him. It was like Child Protective Services questions asked of a child suspected of being abused.  They asked him if he felt safe at home and does he always wear a seatbelt, does he feel anxious or nervous.  I thought…is this customary for drs to ask here in Arizona?  According to friends and neighbors…IT IS!

My dh filled out the form saying he was homeschooled.  Do you think this had anything to do with the line of questioning?  I would have thought Arizona was less inclined to do things like this than California, but he was not asked anything like this when he did his sports physical for football.

My dh didn’t answer the question of immunization on the form, but I wonder what she would have said about that.  She did say he wasn’t due for his booster yet but asked if he had his immunization record and my dh simply said no.

What I am concerned about is that some dr, who doesn’t know me or my family, could interpret the answers to these questions in a way that would lead to my family being investigated for no reason.

I have seen cases in California where these seemingly innocent questions have lead to someone having all their kids taken away only to find a few yrs later that these allegations were completely unfounded, or worse yet, lies told by jealous family members or neighbors.  After which the damage to the family (mostly the children) was already done.  These questions don’t apply to most people, but they could lead to abuse without probable cause.

I wouldn’t object if they found my son in their office with bruises all over him or acting funny, but not as a routine where any 4 yr old could say something that might be interpreted by the untrained eye to be the beginning of years of devastation for a family.


Doctors are authority figures imposing to young children and these days to their mothers as well.  Parents afraid of a confrontation, who don’t know the laws and/or who are not effective communicators may say the wrong thing, be bullied into allowing a line of questioning that subjects their child to being badgered.  A young child may not know how to answer these questions or answer incorrectly so it may be misinterpreted.

If you allow the questions, you take the risk of you or your child saying something that might be misinterpreted as incriminating.  If you don’t allow them, you risk coming off looking like you have something to hide!

What say you?  Do you know your rights?  Do you know how to gracefully and efficiently get out of a situation like this?  What would you say?   Have you ever been asked these kinds of questions?  What do you think about this practice?  Do you think it’s inappropriate?

If you’d like some help in honing your skills so that you can be more assertive in situations like this, check out Say What You Mean Every Day over at  Art of Eloquence.com

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Do folks mess up your name?

What’s in a name?

I think the thing that is most frustrating in communicating with someone is when you mess up their name.  Folks don’t mind too much of you mess up the town they live in or the name of their car, the school they went to, but their name is personal and I think folks feel like you are messing with them when you mispronounce or misspell their name.

Now my given name is Joanne.  Not very unusual, but I guess the way I pronounce it over the phone with my accent made it sound like something else.  I would often have to say it three times and then get, “Oh hello Jillian!”  UGH!

And don’t get me started on how to spell it!  I’d get Joanne, Jo Anne, Jo Ann, Joann, Johanne, Johanna, Joan and Jillian! LOL  Then I got married and my last name became Tabares.  Took ME six months to learn to pronounce it right!  Tabaras, Tobarus, Tobarez…ROFL

So when I started my business, I began to refer to myself by my nickname I had since I was a wee tot (Yes!  Even smaller than I am now!).  Joanne was my given name, but I gave it back!  Started using JoJo and you know what?  Everyone could pronounce it and EVERYONE could even spell it!  A 20 minute conversation were 15 minutes was spent explaining my first name became an efficient and succinct 5 minute call!

Do you have an unusual name? Do folks mispronounce it or misspell it all the time?  What do you do about it? Leave a comment and share!

JoJo (Alias Joanne, Johanna, Joan, Mom, Mrs. Tabares… and Jillian!)

Art of Elephants Eloquence!

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What are Your Facebook Pet Peeves?

This week’s Talk Talk Show topic on the Communication Comedy Network is about Facebook Faux Pas.  In preparation for the show, I’m asking Facebook users to relate their pet peeves.  Not your problems with Facebook but rather your issues with other Facebook users.

For example, does it bug you when someone whose name you don’t recognize asks you to be their Facebook friend, but gives you absolutely NO information about themselves whatsoever?  No picture, no bio, nothing on their info screen????

Does it bother you when someone asks you to become a fan of Air or… BUBBLE WRAP?

Wha’ts your Facebook Pet Peeve?  Post a comment and/or come share your thoughts on the live show!

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The Communication Comedy Network airs each Thursday at 8am PST/11am EST.

Join us via your computer: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736

Or Join us via your phone: Phone Number: (724) 444-7444  Call ID: 19736

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Can you spot the errors?

This week’s question of the week is a little communication quiz!  Can you spot the errors?  Grab your kids and see if they can too.  You can either post your answers here as a comment on this blog post OR you can post this same story on YOUR blog, answer it there and post a comment here with a link to your blog post.  Here you go:


Cindy was rite about the cheese grader being on sail at Walmart.  After all, she does oversea the entire Penny Pinching Club for the grater New York area.  For all intensive purposes, Cindy was the reining queen of savings!

Her friend, Mary, was in dyer need of a of an inexpensive vaccum cleaner so she steaked out Cindy’s house and weighted for her to get home from her seminar, Stretch Your Money Saving Mussels.

When Cindy finally got home, it was midnight and Mary had been so tried, she had fallen asleep in her car.  Though she was very tiered after her long day, Cindy invited Mary invited her to stay the night as it was too late for her to drive back to her county house in the woods.  The too ladies spent a few ours talking about everything from appliances to the price of egg yokes until the they were so sleepy they practically stood their like statutes.

In the morning, Mary was so thankful for all the advise Cindy gave her on savings that she pinched in and made breakfast for Cindy’s children before school.


I’ll be back in a few days to post the errors as a comment on this blogpost.  For more fun learning communication skills, check out Art of Eloquence.com!

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What your favorite color says about you

What is your favorite color and what do you think it says about you?

You see, I’m a Purple NUT and this Thursday on my podcast, The Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network, I’ll be sharing some fabulous information I found about what our favorite colors say about us.  I will be focusing on why purple lovers are so incredibly passionate about their favorite color.  I’d love you to come to the live show Thursday morning 8am PST/ 11am EST.  Here’s how:

CCN Logo2To join the show live via your computer, click here or go to http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736

To join the show live via phone, dial (724) 444-7444 and enter Call ID: 19736 when prompted.

To listen to the audio recording available immediately after the show, click here or go to http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736 and scroll down to Past Episodes. Click on the orange Listen button next to the past show you wish to hear.

So what is your favorite color and what do you think it says about you?

I’d love to have some feedback to take with me to the show especially if you cannot make it to the live show!  So please post a comment with your answer OR, better yet, post this same question on YOUR blog with your answer and then come back here and post your blogpost link here so all my readers can see it too!

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Do you speak Spanish?

This week’s question of the Week: Do you speak Spanish?

This Thursday’s Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network is about the communication differences in the Spanish culture and language.   My special guest this week is Michelle Rothwell of Dora and Diego Homeschool Spanish.  She and I will discuss the cultural and language differences of those who speak Spanish and why learning Spanish can be exceptionally helpful today!

My dh was born in Mexico and is fluent in Spanish.  He also speaks a little French and Italian.  He says there are some distinct difference in the Mexican culture and the language and I’ll be sharing some of his insights.  Michelle and I will be having some fun with some humorous stories of miscommunication between the Spanish and English speaking world.  Come join us!

Do you speak Spanish?  Or any other language?

You can post your answers here or post this question on YOUR blog and come back here to link your blog post so all of us can read about you and YOUR readers’ answers!

If you would like to share your thoughts or experiences about the Spanish language and culture with my listeners, I would LOVE to have you on the show live on Thursday 8am PST/11am EST!  If you cannot make it live, you can post here and I will share your thoughts on the air with my listeners as I have time.  The show is archived as an audio directly following the live broadcast so you can listen in at your convenience.

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What year does her license expire?

This is too funny and I wondered what this communicates about our state to you?  Even my folks, who have lived here for 10 yrs were amazed!

Monday Q of the Wk. Here’s how it works:

Each Monday I ask a thought provoking question about life and language.  Pose the same question to your blog readers on your own blog along with your answer to the question.  Then come back here and post a comment with a link to your blog post so we can all read everyone’s answers!  It’s been a lot of fun getting to know my readers and their readers and so on and so on.  This is a great time to connect with others but it’s also a fun way to build your writing and communication skills.


This week’s question: What year do you think my dd’s driver’s license expires?

Last week I asked for your driving pet peeves and on Thursday the Communication Comedy Network’s Talk Talk Show topic was about driving communication and how it could save your life.  I was discussing this topic with my mom the other day and she reminded me about something that was just too funny and presented an opportunity for you all to have a little fun that I just couldn’t pass up.

You see, my dd just got her driver’s license a few weeks ago.  When I looked at it, I noticed a few odd things.  For one, I noticed that her picture was adorable.  An oddity as I thought all Motor Vehicle Department Staff were properly trained in the art of taking awful pictures.  But what struck me most of all was the expiration date.

In California, where I had lived for 32 years, driver’s licenses expire every 4 years.  Oh you might get a renewal by mail if you haven’t had any tickets or accidents but it still comes up for renewal every 4 years.  I knew Arizona might be different, but this was so funny.  Even my folks, who have lived here for 10 years, thought this was a giggle and a half!


So …What year do you think my dd’s driver’s license expires and what do you think that communicates about the state of driving in the state of Arizona?  When is your driver’s license expiration date?

You can post your answers here or post this question on YOUR blog and come back here to link your blog post so all of us can read about you and YOUR readers’ answers!

I’ll post the answer in a few days so check back ‘cuz you know it’ll be bugging you!

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Driving Pet Peeves

Monday Q of the Wk. Here’s how it works:

Each Monday I ask a thought provoking question about life and language.  Pose the same question to your blog readers on your own blog along with your answer to the question.  Then come back here and post a comment with a link to your blog post so we can all read everyone’s answers!  It’s been a lot of fun getting to know my readers and their readers and so on and so on.  This is a great time to connect with others but it’s also a fun way to build your writing and communication skills.   Grab your teens!

This week’s question: What does it mean to be a true friend?

This Thursday’s Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network is about communication on the road.

So I thought I’d ask everyone about their driving pet peeves.  Did you realize that you have a sort of sixth sense about what drivers might do next?  If’ you’ve been driving a while, you can tell what a driver might do just by the way he is driving.  You might be able to tell when a driver might cut you off or swerve into your lane.

Does it bug you when another driver leaves his turn signal on for six exits?  Are you frustrated when the guy next to you seems to be driving too far over toward your lane?  Do you have a conniption if the guy behind you follows too close?  Have you ever had another driver scare you in some way?  What did you do?  What should we do to avoid these driving conflicts?  These are the questions we will be addressing on the next Talk Talk Show on the Communication Comedy Network on Thursday.  Come join us and share your stories, pet peeves and ideas!

For now…

What are your driving pet peeves?

You can post your answers here or post this question on YOUR blog and come back here to link your blog post so all of us can read about you and YOUR readers’ answers!

If you would like to share your thoughts or experiences about communication while driving with my listeners, I would LOVE to have you on the show live on Thursday 8am PST/11am EST!  If you cannot make it live, you can post here and I will share your thoughts on the air with my listeners as I have time.  The show is archived as an audio directly following the live broadcast so you can listen in at your convenience.

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