How to Contact Someone

How to Contact Someone

By JoJo Tabares


This issue came up the other day and I thought it would make a good post.  I have written on this before, but it wasn’t the focus of the article and I can’t seem to find it amongst the many I’ve written (that have yet to be posted on the AOE website) anyway.  Lol

If you have ever had a situation come up in which you wanted to contact someone to address an issue, find out more information or thank them for all their hard work on something, you may have run into trouble obtaining an email address.  It is surprisingly easy in the Information Age and here are a few suggestions:

1. Website Contact Page

If the person is a business owner, Google their business name to find their website.  Most websites have a Contact Us page that will either list their email address or supply a form where you can email them directly from the website.

2. Facebook Private Message

If you are both on Facebook, but do not have the person’s email address, you can simply send them a private message through Facebook.  You usually don’t have to be friends with someone on Facebook in order to send them a private message.

3. Facebook Fan Page:

If you need to contact the owner of a Facebook fan page privately, the best way to do that is to look on the Info tab of the fan page to find if an email address is listed there.  If not, usually the website is listed and, as I talked about previously, you’ll probably find their email address on the Contact Us page.  If no website is listed, you might try to see if the fan page lists the Page Owners down on the bottom left.  Then, as I talked about in the previous point, you can go to their personal Facebook wall and contact them through a Facebook private message.

4. Twitter Message

If you are both on Twitter, you can send them a Direct Message.  I’m pretty sure you need to be followed by that person in order to send them a DM, but you might give it at try.  It may be a matter of settings.  I’m not as familiar with Twitter as I am with Facebook.

5.  Yahoo Groups

If you know each other from a Yahoo Group, you can find the person’s email by looking at their group post.  Usually, the sender’s email address is listed somewhere on the post.  Depending upon the group settings, if you don’t see it, you may be able to click “reply” and then it will become visible.

6. Google their Name

If you don’t have any connection to them through a group or other social media, you can Google their name and see what information pops up.  Remember that there may be several people with the same name so you’ll want to look for information that will help you identify that person before you attempt to contact them.

There are so many options available to us these days.  The information you need may only be a few keyboard strokes away.


JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as and  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit


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Business Communication Seminar Today

If’ you’re a Christian working a small business, you need to join me this morning!

You may not realize it, but almost every aspect of your business involves communication skills. The more effective you are, the more success you’ll have in your business.

Jill Hart of CWAHM and a sampling of Christian Work at Home Moms join me this morning (9am PST/12pm EST)  to share tips and techniques for better communication with your customers, co workers, suppliers, employees and more.  We’ll discuss tips for customer service, sales, marketing, your blog, website, dealing with co workers, social networking like Yahoo groups, Facebook and Twitter.

Join us via your computer:

Or call in to the show:

Phone Number: (724) 444-7444 Call ID: 19736

The audio will be available immediately following the show, but if you listen in to the live seminar, I’ll be sharing a voucher code to purchase Say What You Mean When You’re in Business for HALF OFF!


*SUBSCRIBE HERE*: for More Communication Fun, FREE Gifts and Exclusive Offers!


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Whine and Please Marketing

All this month I’ve been sharing from my article, “12 Deadly Communication Sins of Advertising” and today’s installment is about whining.  As mom would say…

Have Some Whine with That Cheese.
Be careful to look over your marketing message for anything that might seem unprofessional for your industry before it is sent out. Have you ever looked at some of those infomercials and cable TV commercials? Some of them make my daughter cringe. You may be a small business with a small budget, but you don’t want to give the impression that you are a cheesy, cheap company.

Aside from the issues I mentioned in previous posts like poor spelling or feigning ignorance, one of the ways small business owners can be cheesy in their marketing is to advertise that they are just starting out and still learning their craft.  Everyone’s got to start somewhere, but it’s never an effective strategy to admit you are green.  As I said in my previous post, nobody wants to pay an amateur.  They want a professional.  Most skills do require ongoing education.  However, if you are still learning or honing your craft, it’s probably best not to charge for your services until you have reached mastery.

I’ve seen many an email ad go out over a Yahoo group that announced a new web design business where the new owner of the website asked her customers to understand that she was still trying to figure out how to create a shopping cart on her site.  Hmm…  Not sure someone would want to part with their hard earned cash to pay someone to create their website if they really don’t know how to do that.

Now if you are a photographer or a pencil artist and you are having trouble with your site, it doesn’t tarnish your professional reputation to admit that in your monthly ad post because it’s not in your area of expertise.  On the other hand, I’ve seen marketing ads that claim to be able to take your website from rags to riches in a month advertise a Lay Away Sale so they could raise $300 to get their dd’s Christmas presents out of hock at JC Penny.  In fact, she was selling an eBook with a title that said something like, “How to make $500 in a two weeks.”

That brings me to another somewhat cheesy tactic: to whine.  While it is possible, especially in these difficult financial times, to have a true financial need, it is quite another thing altogether to whine at people and expect them to purchase substandard products just to help you out.  And if you think this hasn’t been done, you are mistaken.  I’ve seen it many times, usually on Yahoo groups for work at home moms.

Mary posts often that she is not making any money with her craft business.  She posts how it is difficult for her to get good quality materials and how she has had several complaints about the paint rubbing off the wood.  She also admits that she has had a problem keeping up with the orders and has had to delay delivery to customers by about three weeks.  Then, one day, Mary posts that they are going to turn her electric off unless she raises $200 by Thursday and can folks see their way clear to order her crafts and wait three weeks for delivery so that she can afford to buy more supplies. Not only have I seen this done, but I’ve seen the posts put through complaining that nobody is taking advantage of her offer.

Especially in these hard times, there is no shame in admitting to your customers that you have a financial need, but do understand that you’ll need to offer quality products at a reasonable price.  Oh, and please don’t whine at those who choose not to take advantage of your offer.  They have issues of their own.

What say you?  I’d love your thoughts.  Any experience with whine and please marketing?


*SUBSCRIBE HERE*: for More Communication Fun, FREE Gifts and Exclusive Offers!


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Do your posts “L@@K” like spam?

I had an experience on Facebook last week that got me thinking about how important it is to be careful that our communication doesn’t resemble something that people could take the wrong way.  It isn’t enough to be genuine, we have to communicate that we are.  If you use the language of scammers and spammers, people will wonder if you are.  If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, people will naturally conclude that it’s a duck.  Here’s what I mean and what we can all learn from Pst Spence.

Last week, I received a friend request from someone with an odd sounding name:  Pst Spence.  We had several mutual friends, his page looked normal and he was in ministry so I accepted.  I never heard from him until he sent me a personal message on Facebook with a gloriously formal sounding introduction, “Calvary Greetings to you…”  It was a rather long message where he asked me for prayer and to donate toward a relief effort for those in Australia who were affected by the flood.  I don’t make it a habit to send donations to people I just met so I sent a reply saying that I’ve been praying for them.

The next day he sent a reply stating that prayer was good, but that they needed MONEY!  I was taken aback!  A minister who doesn’t think that much of prayer?   I was busy that day with a sick son and many other projects so I decided not to answer him.  The next morning I received a message from him asking if I’d received his reply and stating that he was “still expecting my donation.”  Still…EXPECTING!?  In this reply he asked me to send my donation Western Union and NOT by Money Gram.  I went back to his first message and noticed that he had put in quite an elaborate address and instructions for the donation.

Next I went to his page because I felt this was a scam.  He had unfriended me and put a note on his page saying he had reached his limit of Facebook friends.  He asked everyone to “like” his fan page.  Curious because he didn’t seem to have ANY friends anymore, I went to his fan page and found no real information on it and only 13 fans.  A few days ago, this man’s Facebook page seemed normal, yet only a few days later, he had no friends and nothing to speak of on his wall.  I reported this to Facebook because the manner in which he was speaking, the words he used and the nature of his Facebook page and fan page, all SCREAMED scam.

To my utter amazement, he had the audacity to send me another message the very next day.  It simply said, “Still waiting for a response.”  I thought to myself, “and you’ll be waiting quite a long time, too!”

At the risk of creating a blueprint for spammers, I’d like to share some of the things in his messages that caused me to believe he wasn’t genuine.  Then I’m going to take some of these same things and show how well-meaning, yet untrained communicators can mistakenly appear the same way.

Spam and Scam Red Flags

1. Unusually formal or flowery greeting

2. Poor grammar or incorrect word usage

3. Sender is someone you just met or don’t know well

4. Asking for money, especially in a more demanding way (Expecting your donation)

5. Most of the detail is in the directions for acquiring the donation rather than the cause

6. Asking for the money to be sent in an usual way or by an unusual method

7. Persistence

8. Language becoming increasingly hostile

Now I know many of you wouldn’t be this blatant, but let’s look at a few of these and see how you might (perhaps) sound like a spammer.  Sometimes, perfectly genuine people fall into the habit of doing things that just feel like spam.  This causes folks to become uncomfortable and/or unlikely to continue the online relationship.  Here’s a list of things that “feel” like spam. I call them Pink Flags.

Spam and Scam Pink Flags:

1. Sending private messages asking for donations or announcing sales to people you don’t know well.

2. Posting mostly or only when you are selling something

3. Poor grammar or word choice, especially to people with whom you are not close.

4. Not being careful to be respectful when asking for donations, especially if sent to people having financial difficulties of their own.

5. Sending more than one message through in a short period of time.  (Once a day or several times a day)

6. Posting several times in an hour about things you have for sale.

7. Posting ONLY things you have for sale on your personal Facebook page or Yahoo group while never responding to or posting things of a more personal nature.

8. Posting MOSTLY things you have for sale.

9. Creating events several times a week/month, inviting all your Facebook friends and then sending constant updates about them.

I’ve known several people, good people, who are in business.  They have good businesses and they try hard to be honest and trustworthy.  However, they have some practices that make it appear, like this scammer, such that they could get in trouble even though they are not scamming.   Here are a few scenarios that illustrate what I mean.  Perhaps you’ve seen them?

Persistent Paula:

Paula sells handmade jewelry.  She’s on Facebook where she also has a fan page.  She’s very excited about her creations and so she posts pictures and sales items about six times a day both on her fan page and her personal Facebook wall.  She also sends out messages to all her personal friends on Facebook each hour with updates about how well her business is doing.  Finally, she tags about 20 or 30 different friends each time she posts a particular type of product picture on her personal wall.

Paula is a sweet girl and everyone is polite, but secretly, several have almost unfriended her due to the sheer volume of emails this generates for them.  In fact, sometimes Paula has posted pictures of her products directly on her friend’s walls or on THEIR fan pages.

Connie Cause:

Connie is the sweetest little thing you’ d ever come across.  She’s a stay at home mom whose kids are all grown and she’s got a passion for getting involved.  She’s the kind of person who is always donating and doing for others, but she is completely unaware of how to communicate her passion effectively.

Connie sends blanket emails to each of her Yahoo groups every day, sharing with them about all the causes she supports.  She addresses her emails to reflect her faith-filled love for people using terms like “Blessed Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus.”  She asks for donations and, because she has a lot of groups she belongs to, she gives all the information to donate up front so that people can have all the information ready to donate.  Unfortunately, Connie doesn’t realize that some of the groups she belongs to don’t allow ads. She doesn’t have much time for interaction on these groups because of all the wonderful causes she supports.  In fact, most of her posts have numerous typos and other mistakes because Connie is in a hurry each day to get these messages out giving her the ability to help even more of God’s children.

Most people on Connie’s groups feel like she is only there to get their money.  Many question whether all her causes are legitimate because of the typos and the fact that only two lines tell about the cause while six lines share how to pay.

We must be careful to say what we mean in a way that allows the listener/reader to hear what we say the way we meant it.  Otherwise, we risk appearing like a spammer, losing friends and having our Yahoo groups or Facebook privileges revoked.

JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication.  Her Christian and humorous approach to communication skills has made her a sought after speaker.  JoJo’s articles have appeared in various homeschool magazines and websites such as Dr.  Her Say What You Mean curricula is endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and her eBook, Say What You Mean When You’re in Business, has been used by direct sales leaders and small business owners alike.  For more information, please visit

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