Hi, I’m JoJo Tabares. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I was once a painfully shy child. What’s worse is my family didn’t stay in one place very long so I was always the new shy kid on the block. Whenever his company needed a volunteer to move out of state, my father’s hand went up and so did my anxiety for meeting and greeting. By the time I was in high school, I just figured shyness was part of my personality and I had resigned myself to the fact that I would always feel awkward in social situations.
You know what I learned? I WASN’T shy. I had simply never learned social communication skills! I had spent so many years being afraid of saying the wrong thing and of looking stupid that I had convinced myself that I should stay in the shadows for the rest of my life. When I finally found my voice, I was amazed that I was really quite gregarious: a goofball by nature…and I LOVED talking to people! I even love giving speeches!
Know what else I learned? You probably aren’t shy either! Most of what is considered shyness isn’t a personality trait. It’s simply a lack of social communication skills. Introverts are people who like being alone, who feel crowds drain them of energy. They aren’t afraid of them, they just don’t like them. Shyness is when you WANT to be in social situations, but are unsure of what to say and afraid to try so you avoid them altogether. Shyness is fear that brings loss and loneliness. I know, because I’ve been there!
As a child, so many people tried to cure me of my shyness. It never worked. Some thought I should take a speech class. AHHHHHH! Now WHY would I agree to do THAT?! Taking a speech class is scary! Isn’t it? I mean, that’s like teaching someone, who is deathly afraid of the water, to swim by throwing them into the deep end! Guess what? I know what that’s like too! I never liked being under water. I have a fear of not being able to breathe. So one day my best friend’s dad threw me in the pool. He threw everyone in. My sister and friends thought it was cool. Fun even! They happily made it to the other side to proclaim their success. Well, I got to the other side too; only I had a slightly different reaction. I thought that was the most terrifying thing I had ever been through and I vowed NEVER to do it again! So who became a good swimmer? NOT ME!!
It took me years to come out of my shell and when I did I vowed my children would NEVER go through the loneliness and pain I did as a child. And you and your children don’t need to go through it either! My life experience together with what I learned having studied to receive my degree in Speech Communication has enabled me to create a unique, fun and creative way to help shy and even bored folks who want to master communication skills. If I had had the opportunity to learn using humor and creative play, I wouldn’t have wasted so many years being afraid and lonely. My children didn’t and I wrote all our Art of Eloquence studies so you and your children won’t either!
