Christian Communication Training
Word of the Weekpyknic \PIK-nik\
adjective: 1. Having a rounded build or body structure.
noun: 1. A person of the pyknic type.
xI don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more pyknic my body type gets! And that’s no picnic! LOL
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What’s a comfort zone? I think I forgot again. I’ll have to go look that up. Let’s see…Comfort zone, noun, “the level at which one functions with ease and familiarity.” Hmmm…
I grew up all over the U.S.- always the new kid on the block. When I was 2 weeks old, I moved from Colorado to Florida. We lived in too many places to count there and, in just two years, we moved again after my sister was born. Settling down in N.Y. for eight whole years, we lived in an apartment and two different houses. I went to two of every school except for college. Every time my father’s company needed a volunteer to move across country, my father’s hand went up and a packing we did go. To this day I have no idea how to get around anywhere. I’m always mixing up streets and directions. I get lost backing out of my own driveway.
Growing up in an Atheist home, most of my friends were of some religious belief or other. I was the only one of my friends who wasn’t from a religious family and I knew nothing about my Jewish heritage nor any other religion. While everyone talked about their shared religious experiences, I felt not only like an outsider, but an ignorant one at that. Even around family, some of whom were practicing Jews, I felt like an outsider.
My mom and dad were pretty conservative; their family wasn’t. There were many family squabbles about politics–most of which were respectful, but at the very least, somewhat uncomfortable.
I’m not even a regular sized person. Finding clothes to fit me was always difficult. I still shop in the children’s section for shoes. I can’t see the mirrors in the ladies rooms and my feet don’t touch the floor when I sit on most couches unless I sit at the edge. Until my senior year in high school, I was 4′ 11 3/4″. I reached my astounding height of 5′ nuthin’ SHORTLY before I started college. LOL It was quite an uncomfortable ride to college each morning as I shlumped into the bucket seat of my 1974 Datson 710 (affectionately named Iggy). I sat atop my telephone book so that I could see over the steering wheel. My brother would occasionally borrow my car and rip the pages out of my telephone book. One day I noticed that I was peering at the road through the steering wheel. When I looked down at my telephone book, I realized why. I was down to the Ms!
Many years ago, I became a Christian. It was one of the most uncomfortable discussions I have ever had with my family. We still have many difficult discussions about faith as my family consists primarily of Atheists and Agnostics of Jewish heritage but also practicing Jews, Catholics and a Jehovah’s Witness. Family gatherings are certainly interesting and diverse.
Having had health issues for over 30 years that conventional doctors were unwilling to treat, I turned to holistic and naturopathic doctors and remedies. Some in my family think I’m nutz! I never did have my son immunized and we don’t usually take him to the doctor unless his incredible immune system doesn’t handle something well, which is incredibly rare. We don’t usually do antibiotics or flu shots so those discussions are lively as well.
Being in sales and then owning my own business is another area of my life that is unusual. Having to explain why I’m home but WORKING has been difficult for some to grasp.
As a homeschooler of almost 12 years, I have had many an uncomfortable discussion with friends and family members who felt my education choice for my children would surely leave them unfit for society. I think I can safely hold my head up now that my daughter is graduating with honors and Phi Beta Kappa from one of the most elite universities in the nation.
Always the odd man out, always the weird one, I learned very early the need to explain myself and my beliefs. Being uncomfortable in most situations has actually benefited me in many ways. I guess that’s just one of the perks of living outside a comfort zone. What about you?
What’s your comfort zone? If it keeps you from resolving conflicts, relating to others, talking about your business, speaking in public, sharing your faith or political views, overcoming shyness or being seen as a leader, I can help!
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I posted this several years ago, but I felt it was worth repeating lol…and I have some new additions.
It all started a while back when I found an Abraham Lincoln quote:
“People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.”
It sounded so close to something my dad always says:
“This is the kind of thing you like if you like that kind of thing.”
I posted them on Facebook and began getting responses that were such great fun like this one:
“Where ever you go, there you are!” -I have no idea who originally said this, do you?
Which reminded me of a funny message my sister and her family had on their answering machine for years:
“None of us are here ‘cuz all of us are somewhere else. When some of us return, one of us will call you back.”
And the circular thinking of things like this one from my good friend BeckyJoie:
“The Department of Redundancy Department”
Then later on that day I was surfing the net trolling for blog fodder when I came upon this little gem:
“It is bad luck to be superstitious.”-Andrew W. Mathis
And check out my new Visual JoJoism on the top left. Care to join me in my “Quote Madness”? Post your own favorite Redundant Redundancy here!
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Over the years, the meanings of words do change and for many different reasons. I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some of these words. Enjoy!
Some words have changed meanings for technological reasons.
1. A tweet used to be the sound a bird makes. Now it’s a 140 character message you type on a social networking site where people share things from political news to what they had for dinner.
2. The word friend is now a verb. Where I used to have a friend over for dinner, I now “friend” someone on Facebook and tell them what I had for dinner.
3. Text used to be a noun meaning the original words and form of a written or printed work. Now it’s a verb meaning to send a message via cell phone.
Some words have changed as common usage has changed.
1. The word ultimate means the last in a list of items. However, it’s been widely used to indicate the best as in “the ultimate driving machine,” the slogan used by BMW. This word is so widely misused that if you “google” (a word invented for the Information Age) it, you will find most of the entries refer to the word as meaning the best.
2. The words fewer and less have been used interchangeably. Less is supposed to be used when comparing quantities that can’t be counted. You’d like less trouble. Fewer is to be used for comparing items you can count. Nobody wants fewer dollars! However, we are encouraged to tweet in 140 characters or less.
Some words have been accepted after being incorrectly overused.
1. The word literally has literally lost all meaning. Defined as something that is actually taking place, literally has been used in place of the word “really” so often, that it has become accepted or literally ignored in the sentence. I’ve been so frustrated by this misuse that I am literally hopping mad.
2. Totally is another word that has been similarly redefined and overused. You could totally take out all the totally meaningless words totally from this sentence and totally be left with a totally meaningless sentence. Totally!
And finally some words have changed meaning totally because of technological opportunities to incorrectly use and overuse accepted slang.
All people have a heart. Some people have heart, but these days, people ♥ all kinds of things. In fact, if you don’t know how to create a heart symbol with your keyboard, you can simply say “I heart you” and most everyone will understand and think you clever.
What other words have been redefined? You should totally share the ones you ♥!
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Driving through town this past weekend, we saw a young man dressed in “hip hop” like attire with a bit of razor stubble holding a cardboard sign with something on it written in black ball point pen. Stop right there. What’s the image that comes to mind? Yup. That’s what we thought, too.
On one side was written “Call me” with his phone number. He mouthed the words, “Call me” and flipped the cardboard sign over. On the other side was written, “God loves you!” He mouth the words, “God loves you.” Now what image comes to mind?
First of all, the image that came to mind wasn’t of him. It was of me. The word that came to my mind now was convicted. I was convicted. Here I had thought that he was begging for money when he was really wasn’t asking for anything at all, except to help. He had given out his phone number to complete strangers in order to share God’s love with them. Stop right there. What image comes to mind now? That’s what we thought, too.
How many people would he actually get to call him? If you already knew the Lord, you probably wouldn’t call. If you didn’t and weren’t ready to hear it from your family or neighbors, you probably wouldn’t call a complete stranger, would you? Or would you? What image comes to mind at this point?
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
What’s the word that comes to mind now? That’s what we thought, too. The word that came to mind for us was ineffective. But then, my mind began to think of two things and, again, the word convicted came to me.
What if you were at the end of your rope or at the end of your faith at the moment you passed by this young man’s sign? What image would come to mind for you? That’s what we thought, too. Someone who cared was offering help, a shoulder to cry on, a smile at the other end of that phone for the weary.
How many people would actually take advantage of this young man’s offer? Probably not that many, but if even one soul was comforted or, even better, turned to Jesus, there would be rejoicing in Heaven. What image comes to mind now? That’s what we thought, too. This selfless soul was putting himself out there in public to be judged, ignored or worse in order to help another person find the love of Jesus.
Now one more image came to mind. He wasn’t pushing a flyer in people’s face. He wasn’t dragging someone to church. He wasn’t arguing the merits of turning from sin. He wasn’t “doing” anything. He wasn’t offensive. Even the most staunch Atheist would have a hard time getting angry with this young man. He was simply offering love and support. Offering, to whomever would like to take him up on it. The image that came to mind at this point for us was of a changed heart, not only for those hurting and in need of Jesus, but those of us Christians passing by. It warmed my heart. It changed my heart. It showed me another way to show God’s love.
This young man may have only done this that one time and perhaps nobody ever called him, but he shared God’s love to all who passed by that day. What image comes to mind for you? Share your thoughts.
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On Monday, I talked about decluttering your communication by taking out the unnecessary words and phrases. Today I’d like to talk about Cluttered Communication or Cluttered Speech. While searching the web last week, I found an article about cluttered speech on a website devoted primarily to stammering.
The article talks mostly about the author’s experience with both stammering and cluttering which had made it even more difficult for him to hold a conversation with people. The side bar defined cluttering:
“What is cluttering? Cluttering is defined as a communication disorder characterised by a rapid rate of speech that may come out too fast without proper pronunciation and be somewhat erratic. Cluttered thoughts can make it difficult to express yourself clearly.
Speech can become unintelligible. Phrase patterns can be uneven, some of the phrases or sentences can become interlaced with different sounds, and the context may be difficult to understand. People who clutter may sound as though they are drunk. Their speech can be slurred and they may find it difficult to respond easily to people’s comments.
Sometimes the speaker is unaware that their speech is disfluent at all; others are aware but seem unable to do anything about it. Many people wrongfully categorize clutterers with stammerers. Although this is incorrect, there are similarities.”
Cluttered communication affects more than just those who stutter or stammer. For many, it’s simply become a habit to speak so quickly and/or slur their words such that their listeners find it difficult to understand them. In my research of gifted children, I came across some information that suggested that highly intelligent people tend to speak very quickly. I’ve written many times about the pace of conversation so I’ll just give you a few tips here to help if this is an issue for you.
1. Intentionally slow down your rate of speech
2. Make an effort not to cut off the ends of words as you speak.
3. Make a recording of your normal rate of speech and when you try to slow it down and enunciate more clearly. Then play it back so you can hear your progress.
It may take some practice, but you can train yourself to speak a bit slower and more clearly so that it becomes second nature.
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To learn more about how to do this and other communication topics, receive free gifts and exclusive offers, subscribe to our newsletter! Subscribe now and get JoJo’s eBook, Communication Activities: Finding time to Communicate with Your Children in a Busy World.
“1a: to examine or consider with attention and in detail : study b: to look over or through in a casual or cursory manner 2: read; especially: to read over in an attentive or leisurely manner“
We interrupt phone week for this commercial message from Word of the Week. And the word is self-talk!
A while back, there was a popular book on the market called, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. I never had that problem. I always knew what to say when I talk to myself. What I often had trouble with was what to say about WHY I talk to myself. Maybe I should write a bestselling book! Hmmm….
For me, it’s a way to think things through, work things out in my head. Sometimes I work them out outside my head. Sometimes I talk to myself out loud to entertain myself as I figure things out. Sometimes I do it to entertain others. I love to make comments to myself as I shop. It invites people to laugh which is a great way to meet people, make friends and have a good time.
But sometimes we talk to ourselves for other reasons, don’t we?
Why do we talk to ourselves? Why do you?
1. Because sometimes we’re the only one who will listen
2. Because we feel we’re the only one who cares.
3. Because often we think we’re the only one who understands.
4. Because we think we’re the only one who can help.
5. Because many times we’re the only one who takes the time.
The next question is what do you say to people who notice you are talking to yourself–out loud?
1. I’m having a party for all my personalities.
2. I’m having a parent/teacher meeting. (I homeschool)
3. I’m thinking out loud because the acoustics in my head are especially bad today.
4. I’m really talking to God.
And that’s the key right there, isn’t it? That’s who we SHOULD be talking to. He listens, He cares, He understands, He will help and He takes the time.
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Wednesdays are usually the times when I share an obscure word or a deeper meaning of a commonly used word. Since we’ve been celebrating Dr. Seuss this week, I thought I’d ask you all to share your own favorite made up words/terms this Word of the Week.
Dr. Seuss made up silly, nonsense words and terms for his books. It’s what made his books so much fun. Some made up words eventually find their way into the dictionary. Many of the words we commonly use today were made up by a man named William Shakespeare.
My family has made up words and terms. My daughter and son made up the word “nork,” a combination of the word nerd and dork which they affectionately use with each other as a term of endearment. My son claims to be the Supreme Alpha Nork to Infinity, which I suppose, is a high honor. lol
What words has your family made up? Please share your family’s word stories.
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This week’s word is Leadership. I love this quote from General George Washington to his commanders: “A leader must look and act the part if he is going to have the success needed for a proper command.”
George Washington was a great leader, so much so that he was a general and our only president to be elected unanimously. He understood that in order to be an effective leader, you need to look and act the part. In other words, a leader must communicate that he is worth following.
A leader is expected to inspire to command his troops or a nation. This cannot be accomplished without the Language of Leadership. It’s more than weilding power or even using the right words. It’s an entire package and, if you don’t have it, you will not be given a position of leadership and you cannot be effective without it.
For more information on how you can develope the Language of Leadership, click the one of the links, scroll down to the bottom of the page and download our sample lesson.
The Bible tells us what a good and true leader is and Say What You Mean: The Language of Leaderships shows you how to accomplish this in today’s world.
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