Ok…the old girl has gone off her rocker! She’s nutz! Elvis has left the noggin! Call the little men in white coats to come and take her away ha ha, hee hee, hoo hoo!
I know I’ve complained about SPAM before…ENDLESSLY… but let me share with you some insights I have had that will increase your quality of life! Why? Because SPAM is here to stay. It’s not going anywhere and no matter how big your SPAM folder is or how many virtual padlocks you put on your email address, you will have to deal with SPAM. So allow me to give you a different perspective that will enable you and your SPAM to live in relative peace with each other. How? Here are 10 important uses for SPAM:
1. Giggles!
Yes we all need giggles and most SPAM provides an endless supply of comedic value! At times, life can be difficult, dull and even lifeless, so get all the giggles you can! SPAM is generally written by people with little or no communication training or sometimes by those for whom English is a second language. Sometimes SPAM itself is a whole ‘nuther language but, with the proper perspective, you can learn to find your daily giggles in your endless supply of SPAM.
Giggling at SPAM will reduce your blood pressure, add years to your life and make life seem more FUN! So rather than looking at “Hallo, JoJo! You get 80% off too day!” in frustration as you pound your index finger on the delete button, look upon it as an opportunity to get your daily giggles! When life gives you SPAM; make SPAM-aide!
2. Sharing Giggles!
Everyone needs a giggle so don’t keep them to yourself! Spread a little SPAM giggle where you can! Post your funny spam on Facebook and Twitter. Share it with friends! You might even want to pass around the link to this article! (wink) Spread a little SPAMshine around.
3. Keep Your SPAM Giggles for a Rainy Day!
I suggest you keep a SPAM folder in your computer! Oh not the SPAM folder where you delete all your unwanted emails. I mean a folder where you keep all your funny SPAM giggles from all those illiterate marketers out there! Visit it often when you’re having a bad day and watch your frown turn upside down!
4. To Build Self-Esteem
There are some people who don’t feel they do things well. These people often get caught up in a cycle of depression because they don’t see their true contribution to society. Some don’t feel they are very smart. Perhaps they compared themselves to an older sibling who got straight A’s. You, too, can feel smarter and more accomplished simply by comparing your communication to that of the average spammer! Take note of their grammar, spelling and word choice; how their subject lines have nothing whatever to do with the topic at hand! Bask in the glow of your capabilities as you send an email to Aunt Sally and don’t start the salutation with, “Hey, Mom. I tell you about my new buzness!” Soon you will begin to realize your vast array of abilities and harness your self-esteem!
5. Great Conversation Starters
Give the weather a break and use some fresh, new content to begin your conversations as you mix and mingle at that business function! You’ll be the life of the party and an asset to any host when you learn to hone your skills in bringing out the lively discussion at boring family gatherings and board meetings! Learn to work a room using relevant and timely SPAM stories everyone is usually familiar with and has their own opinion about!
6. Bragging Rights
The amount of email I receive in general has increased exponentially as Art of Eloquence reaches more and more readers/subscribers. With that comes more SPAM as well. While this has been a matter of serious irritation to me, I can now see the benefit in announcing the increasing numbers of irritating, unwanted email communiques I receive from seemingly illiterate and illogical individuals! “Hey, I receive 1000 SPAM emails a day!” Aren’t you impressed? LOL
7. Great sermon jokes!
SPAM makes great stories for sermons or lectures because they can lighten the mood of your audience and break up your material with humor. They are also much more readily available than are speech jokes!
8. Homeschool Lessons
Homeschoolers have an almost inexhaustible supply of material with which they may educate their children on any number of subjects ranging from grammar and spelling to logic! Mini communication lessons and critical thinking exercises are just some of the uses homeschoolers can take advantage of by using free unsolicited emails. Increase your child’s education without spending a DIME! (Disclaimer: you will need to weed out any SPAM that requires an X rating!)
9. Use as Blog Fodder!
SPAM also makes great blog fodder for speech communication authors, writing instructors and those with editing services! It’s a fun way to advertise your services and products! Incidentally, if you notice your son or daughter’s communication skills are beginning to resemble that of an average spammer, take a peek at the Art of Eloquence website for the various ways in which he or she can have fun learning effective communication! [grin]
10. To test your delete button and makes sure it’s in good working order!
Finally, here is my favorite use for SPAM. Did you know that the delete key gets rusty if you don’t use it often? Think of all the emails you need to delete and what would happen if they piled up because your delete button wasn’t in good working order!!
So there you have it! JoJo’s 10 Important Uses for SPAM that will enrich your life!
Have any of your own? Post them here!!
Some of you who are following me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook know that I’ve been posting, what I call JoJoisms for the past several weeks. JoJoisms are my observations about life. They use language in a fun way as to reveal life’s sometimes hard truths in a humor-filled way. Thought I’d post some of them here for Friday Funnies. Here are the first ten.
