Communication FUNdamentals

Art of Eloquence is fast approaching the completion of its eighth year in business this November.  It’s been a very interesting ride so far.  I’ve learned a great deal about business, about myself and my faith.

When I wrote my first study, Say What You Mean (for Teens), I really wasn’t thinking of this as a business or even a ministry. It was simply an answer to a homeschool friend’s need for a more comfortable way her shy daughter could learn to communicate more effectively.  It was important to me that the approach to overcoming shyness and strengthening communication skills be fun and reflect the teachings that are so prevalent in God’s Word.  I have literally found HUNDREDS of scriptures that pertain to communication and many of them contain lessons I studied in the pursuit of my secular degree.

However, as I began to form Art of Eloquence, I quickly learned that not everyone was happy with the ‘God parts.’  The woman in charge of a nearby YMCA said she would love me to come and teach there if only I’d ‘take the God parts out.’  A public school administrator informed me that she’d love to recommend that my studies be used in the district, if only I’d agree to ‘take the God parts out.’  My Dad shared with me that he felt that I’d get a lot more sales if only I’d ‘take the God parts out.’

Over the last eight years, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been offered contracts, money, sales, an enormous venue in which to display my articles if I’d only agree to ‘take the God parts out.’ I just could never bring myself to do it.  It felt like I’d be turning my back on the Lord after He had done so much for me.  It felt disrespectful, but more than that, it felt wrong.

When I got my degree from a secular university, I felt I had a firm grasp of the concepts I had studied.  After all, I had a degree from one of the top ten universities in the country for Speech Communication.  When I accepted Christ as my savior, I found greater meaning in the lessons He wrote for us in His Word.  It more than enhanced my understanding; it put a necessary perspective on every aspect of human communication.  I found that studying speech communication without mentioning what the Bible has to say about it, is like studying automobiles without mentioning Henry Ford.

As the years went by, I began writing more about being an effective witness for Christ both as an example and when discussing our faith with others.  That’s when I really had some challenges to my approach!  I’ve had people heckle me on internet radio shows and I’ve had some NastyGrams sent to my email.  I’ve had people disrupt my online events, send scathing remarks to online groups and one lady who chastised me during a presentation I was asked to give for a group of Christians.  I found out later that she was a member of one of my Christian Yahoo groups!  She wasn’t aware that I was asked to do this presentation nor was she aware that the presentation was to a group of Christians.  She simply felt it was ‘intolerant’ of me to quote scripture and talk about Jesus when there were people who didn’t believe in Him.  So she stood up in the virtual chatroom so to speak and told me off, left the room and took several people with her.

Many times what I write cannot be divorced from scripture without diminishing the value or losing the integrity of my message.  So, though I’ve been asked many times to ‘take the God parts out, for many reasons, I simply cannot do it and remain true to the voice inside me-the voice God gave me.

I can’t say that I haven’t been tempted.  I wish I could report to you that I’ve never once allowed it to cross my mind that I might have much more of a following or more sales if I did ‘take the God parts out.’  And I know that there must be others out there who struggle with this issue whether they are authors or not.  I’d like  to share a thinking process that I use whenever I am presented with a situation like this.  I hope it will help you.

• If I were to take the scriptures out of my work, I might be able to reach a wider audience than just the percentage of Christians who feel it important to study communication from a Christian perspective.
• If I were to reach a wider audience, I might be able to reach unbelievers and they may come to know Christ.
• How many people, who are that uncomfortable with scripture, would actually be interested in these kinds of articles and studies which were written specifically for Christians?
• How many of my articles and studies really speak to the unbeliever?
• Wouldn’t I approach a nonChristian in a completely different way?
• Isn’t there a reason God directs me to write this way?
• So…shouldn’t I leave my writing the way I was directed to write it?

Some Christians are directed by God to write in order to reach unbelievers.  Some have missions that speak to the churched.  Each of us has to listen to the Lord to determine our own path and then ask ourselves questions periodically that will allow us to keep to the path the Lord has set before us.

What is your mission?  What questions do you ask yourself in order that you remain on the path God has for you?

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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For almost 8 years I’ve been talking about the incredible power of speech communication.  Words are powerful things. After all, God spoke the world into existence!  “God said let there be light and there was.  For years I’ve been telling you about the power of words and now I can show you just how powerful words can be…

This sign demonstrates the unbelievable power of words…to forbid dying…at least right there! LOL

For more fun with communication, visit Art of Eloquence.com!

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So often I’m asked if communication skills are really that important for every day life.  I’ve developed a quote I’d like to put on every bumper sticker. “While you may manage to live your entire life without making a speech, you will not get through one day without communicating something to someone!”

The past week, while I was posting about the National Words Matter Week contest, there were several news stories that came across my eDesk that illustrate the reasons behind why communication skills are not just needed for lawyers and politicians.  Here are two:

An article from March 5, 2010 states Doctors urged to do more listening as complaints about care increase Among other things it states “Officials say up to 90 per cent of complaints stem from misunderstandings between doctor and patient and, as a result, unrealistic expectations.“  It goes on to say, “Dr Jamal al Kaabi, a senior investigator at the Health Authority-Abu Dhabi (HAAD), said doctors should be aware that quality care ran in tandem with good communication…If a physician would allow just five more minutes of his time to listen to concerns properly, it would solve around 70 or 80 per cent of the problem.”

A few years ago. I read where the AMA announced plans to begin teaching young interns about communication skills in order to avoid just such misunderstandings and the law suits that stem from them.   In fact, many conflicts are the result of miscommunication or misunderstanding.  Recent surveys say that the most common reason for a marriage to end is lack of effective communication.  It is small wonder.  As you read through your Bible this year, take note of how many times the Lord cautions us or instructs us about our tongues, mouths and lips!  Communication skills are what build our relationships and they are what can keep us out of all manner of trouble in life.

Many other industries are facing issues due to lack of effective communication.  Communication is so much a part of relationships that it is impossible to separate effective communication skills from the work we do each day whether it be in our personal or professional lives.

Another article from March 3, 2010 reports that recently a judge ruled against religious expression.   It seems that Butte High School admits asking valedictorians to “speak about what helped them get through school.  Some people wanted to thank the football coach or the track coach or their uncle or a particular teacher, and they were permitted to do that,” explains Griffith’s attorney, Bill O’Connor. ‘The only thing they would not permit, by their own admission, was…her to attribute any achievements to her belief in God.’”

Part of the reason God gives us a voice is because He asks us to speak out and speak up for godly values and Christian principles as well as to share the Gospel with others.  News items like this remind us about how important it is that we learn to do this effectively and in grace.  Additionally, we need to train our children to face these issues with excellent communication skills if they are to be successful in their personal and professional lives-especially as it relates to sharing the Good News and speaking up for Christian values.

If you would like a fun and easy way to learn these skills or to teach your children these vital skills, Art of Eloquence has some creative and fun studies and MANY free resources listed on our site.  Come check it out and, while you are visiting, sign up for our free newsletter with exclusive articles and free gifts JUST for AoE subscribers!

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I love pictures like this.  They just look like God’s light shining down from Heaven reminding us of God’s love.

It’s been a perfectly lovely weekend and I feel like this picture!  My sister and her family came out to visit us on Friday.  We really haven’t seen them for about a year.  They helped us pack our house up in California and watched us leave as we drove to our new life in Arizona.  My sister and her husband did come out a few months go, but we only saw them for a few hours.  I drove the kids out to their hotel room, but their kids weren’t there and my dh wasn’t able to get off work then.

So yesterday, I don’t know how it got started, but somehow everyone took out their cell phones and began passing them around.  We oohed and aaahed over the colors, features and then it happened.  It was a cell phone party!  Hannah, my neice, texted her mother who was sitting two people away from her on the couch.  She texted back.  My son was intrigued so Hannah taught him how and he texted his sister who was on the other couch.  It was so funny!  They talked to each other as they texted each other and everyone had a perfectly lovely time.

It’s been so long since my sister and I had time to be silly together. They came here on Friday to see the house and we had a special lunch and dinner.  We had to improvise seating arrangements as we simply couldn’t get 7 adult sized people and one small Christopher around my kitchen table.  We did something I think only my sister would think of.  We had boys in the kitchen and girls in the dining room.  And it was perfect!  We had two husbands and two sons in the kitchen and the two of us and our two daughters in the dining room.

Yesterday we all hung around the house and laughed all morning, went out to lunch and then stopped off at their hotel, which turned out to be a gorgeous townhome.  My son and her daughter (she’s 12 but 5′ 3″!) went swimming all afternoon while my dd and sister took turns playing ping pong with my nephew (he’s almost 16 and almost 6ft tall! They grow ‘em big in Orange County! We think it’s something in the water!).

It was so funny!  My dd, Kelsey, pinged that pong ball all over the rec room.  It bounced off the walls, the floor and even the light fixture til we were rolling because it looked like she was playing by herself!  Then my sister played against her son and we all laughed so hard as they added more ping pong balls and paddles to the game.  At one point they had two paddles each and three balls in the air at all times.  Some of them occasionally hit the ceiling, the light fixture, came across the room.  Kelsey and I tried to catch them as they came by.  It was a blast!

We brought Chinese food in for dinner and segeregated ourselves by gender again.  My neice was hysterical.  She and Kelsey had us moms in stitches all throughout.

We had such a blast getting to know the kids again.  It got me thinking that we had more time to talk with them and be silly on this trip than we have had in many years of busy birthday parties. We lived over an hour away from them in California so getting together was done mostly for holidays and other events.  With all our activities and obligations,  they were the only times we could get together.  But this visit was just for fun and we laughed and shared more in two days than we were able to do in quite some time!

They’ll be over again today after church and we will spend some time before they have to head back to California.  I sure will miss them.  It’s not the same when you spend time on the phone, but these memories will draw us closer when we do have phone visits from now on.  What a blessing and I’m thanking God for time to share and have fun with my sister and her family this weekend.

Have you had a weekend like this?  Come share!

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I pray that you enjoyed your BBQ’s and parties this weekend.  Many are reminding us that this day is really about our Founding Fathers.  I thought I might offer a slightly different point of view.  Our Founding Fathers fought for our freedom, but never forget that true freedom is in Christ Jesus!

The Lord gives such amazing talents to each of His children so that each may be a blessing and give glory and honor to Him.  Little children are so precious to watch.  I found this adorable video on YouTube.  This little sweetheart recites the Pledge of Allegiance.  Enjoy!

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