JoJo’s Blog

How Not to Rhyme

March 30, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

This has been a week of words. On Monday, I talked about how our words should be grace-filled as we fulfill Titus 2: 7-8. On Wednesday, I shared A Story of Image. Today I’d like to share a fun video about rhyming. This is from Song Drops. It’s called, I Wrote This Song Before I Knew How to Rhyme. Enjoy your Friday Funny!

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Filed Under: Friday Funnies Tagged With: rhyme, Rhyming, song drops, YouTube

A Story of Image

March 28, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

Driving through town this past weekend, we saw a young man dressed in “hip hop” like attire with a bit of razor stubble holding a cardboard sign with something on it written in black ball point pen. Stop right there. What’s the image that comes to mind? Yup. That’s what we thought, too.

On one side was written “Call me” with his phone number. He mouthed the words, “Call me” and flipped the cardboard sign over. On the other side was written, “God loves you!” He mouth the words, “God loves you.” Now what image comes to mind?

First of all, the image that came to mind wasn’t of him. It was of me. The word that came to my mind now was convicted. I was convicted. Here I had thought that he was begging for money when he was really wasn’t asking for anything at all, except to help. He had given out his phone number to complete strangers in order to share God’s love with them. Stop right there. What image comes to mind now? That’s what we thought, too.

How many people would he actually get to call him? If you already knew the Lord, you probably wouldn’t call. If you didn’t and weren’t ready to hear it from your family or neighbors, you probably wouldn’t call a complete stranger, would you? Or would you? What image comes to mind at this point?

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

What’s the word that comes to mind now? That’s what we thought, too. The word that came to mind for us was ineffective. But then, my mind began to think of two things and, again, the word convicted came to me.

What if you were at the end of your rope or at the end of your faith at the moment you passed by this young man’s sign? What image would come to mind for you? That’s what we thought, too. Someone who cared was offering help, a shoulder to cry on, a smile at the other end of that phone for the weary.

How many people would actually take advantage of this young man’s offer? Probably not that many, but if even one soul was comforted or, even better, turned to Jesus, there would be rejoicing in Heaven. What image comes to mind now? That’s what we thought, too. This selfless soul was putting himself out there in public to be judged, ignored or worse in order to help another person find the love of Jesus.

Now one more image came to mind. He wasn’t pushing a flyer in people’s face. He wasn’t dragging someone to church. He wasn’t arguing the merits of turning from sin. He wasn’t “doing” anything. He wasn’t offensive. Even the most staunch Atheist would have a hard time getting angry with this young man. He was simply offering love and support. Offering, to whomever would like to take him up on it. The image that came to mind at this point for us was of a changed heart, not only for those hurting and in need of Jesus, but those of us Christians passing by. It warmed my heart. It changed my heart. It showed me another way to show God’s love.

This young man may have only done this that one time and perhaps nobody ever called him, but he shared God’s love to all who passed by that day. What image comes to mind for you? Share your thoughts.

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To learn more about how to do this and other communication topics, receive free gifts and exclusive offers, subscribe to our newsletter! Subscribe now and get JoJo’s eBook, Communication Activities: Finding time to Communicate with Your Children in a Busy World.

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Filed Under: Word Wednesday Tagged With: convicted, hip hop, image, street

Fulfilling Titus 2:7-8

March 26, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

“In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.” -Titus 2:7-8

The NIV translation puts it this way, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” Titus 2 is talking about being a good Christian example to others. In fact, Titus 2:15 goes on to say: “These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.” The Lord is cautioning us that we are to speak such that we cannot be condemned by others because they will have nothing evil to say of us. What does that mean, exactly, both for us and for our listeners?

First, does this mean we shouldn’t say anything that unbelievers don’t want to hear? Does it mean we don’t stand up for our beliefs? Clearly no. The Bible directs us to share the Good News and tells us that we will be persecuted for His name-sake. God is telling us to speak in grace and truth so we cannot be accused of lying or being mean-spirited.

And secondly, does this mean that, if we speak in grace, nobody will speak out against us or accuse us of wrong doing? Absolutely not! While that would be nice, remember that we will be persecuted for His name-sake. It means we will be blameless both in the eyes of the Lord and that, while others may persecute us because they don’t like what we’ve said, they won’t be able to show us to be hateful or liars.

Sometimes that can be a difficult distinction to make. Most Christians wouldn’t knowingly choose to come off as rude. I say most because I have run into some who think the ends justify the means because they are doing God’s work. Mostly, though, it’s a matter of an unfortunate choice of words, giving an inappropriate example or saying something we don’t realize will alienate the very ones we are trying to reach. This is exactly why I wrote Say What You Mean: Defending the Faith. If you’d like more information on sharing your faith in a more comfortable, conversational way, scroll down to the bottom of that page and download our sample lesson.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Bible, scripture, The Lord, Titus 2

It’s good to be a fast talker!

March 23, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

All this week I’ve been talking about cluttered communication and how we need to simplify, clear out the unnecessary words and slow down our rate of speech. Today I’d like to share a fun YouTube video of a Federal Express Commercial that illustrates how effective fast talkers can be!

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Filed Under: Friday Funnies Tagged With: Clutter, Fast Talker, Federal Express

Is your speech too cluttered?

March 21, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

On Monday, I talked about decluttering your communication by taking out the unnecessary words and phrases. Today I’d like to talk about Cluttered Communication or Cluttered Speech. While searching the web last week, I found an article about cluttered speech on a website devoted primarily to stammering.

The article talks mostly about the author’s experience with both stammering and cluttering which had made it even more difficult for him to hold a conversation with people. The side bar defined cluttering:

“What is cluttering? Cluttering is defined as a communication disorder characterised by a rapid rate of speech that may come out too fast without proper pronunciation and be somewhat erratic. Cluttered thoughts can make it difficult to express yourself clearly.

Speech can become unintelligible. Phrase patterns can be uneven, some of the phrases or sentences can become interlaced with different sounds, and the context may be difficult to understand. People who clutter may sound as though they are drunk. Their speech can be slurred and they may find it difficult to respond easily to people’s comments.

Sometimes the speaker is unaware that their speech is disfluent at all; others are aware but seem unable to do anything about it. Many people wrongfully categorize clutterers with stammerers. Although this is incorrect, there are similarities.”

Cluttered communication affects more than just those who stutter or stammer. For many, it’s simply become a habit to speak so quickly and/or slur their words such that their listeners find it difficult to understand them. In my research of gifted children, I came across some information that suggested that highly intelligent people tend to speak very quickly. I’ve written many times about the pace of conversation so I’ll just give you a few tips here to help if this is an issue for you.

1. Intentionally slow down your rate of speech

2. Make an effort not to cut off the ends of words as you speak.

3. Make a recording of your normal rate of speech and when you try to slow it down and enunciate more clearly. Then play it back so you can hear your progress.

It may take some practice, but you can train yourself to speak a bit slower and more clearly so that it becomes second nature.

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Filed Under: Word Wednesday Tagged With: Article, Clutter, stammering, words

Decluttering Your Communication

March 19, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

In the same way that decluttering your house simplifies your life, decluttering your communication simplifies your message. While cleaning out your closets makes room for the important things you need to store, cleaning out unnecessary words and phrases allows more focus on your most important points and infuses it with power.

What is the clutter of communication? Weasel Words. Weasel Words are a dead giveaway that you are nervous or unsure of yourself. They devalue your leadership, curtail your effectiveness and destroy your credibility. Weasel Words come in three forms.

1. Unnecessary Words
When a person is nervious or unsure of what to say, they fill their conversation with unnecessary words like: “I’m gonna go ahead and,” “kind of/kinda” and ”sort of/sorta.” This is done in an attempt to soften their language, appear less demanding or endear themselves to their listeners. What it really does is zap the power and energy out of the speakers integrity, leadership ability and conviction.

“I kind of wanted to talk to you about that.” You kind of wanted to or you did want to? ‘Cuz if you only kind of wanted to, I’ve got more important things to do right now.

2. Filler Words
Another nervous habit is to fill their conversation with nonwords that take up space and allow them time or the ability to keep control of the conversation until they can think of what else they wanted to say. These non words include: uh, er, like and ya know.

“I…uh…kind of…er…wanted to…like, ya know…talk to you…um…about that.” That’s tellin’ ‘em!

3. Vague Words and Phrases
The last type of Weasel Words are those that couch what you say such that nobody can accuse you of being wrong (or even saying much of anything). If you’re afraid of being taken to the mat over a statistic, a quote or a truth, you will probably use words and phrases like: somewhat, most of the time, in most respects, I’ve heard, it’s been said, people/some say, it’s generally known, or it’s among the best. The idea is to be as noncomittal as possible in order to cover all your statistical bases.

“I think your child has somewhat of a problem with the truth.” You mean he lies?

Filling your conversation with unnecessary and vague words and phrases doesn’t soften your message, it confuses it. Adding filler words and vague phrases may allow you time to think, but it also allows your audience time to become frustrated. Using Weasel Words doesn’t endear you to your audience, it only prolongs the time they have to form a weak opinion of you and the point you were trying to make.

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: communication, conversation, nervious, weasel words

Does Spelling Matter or Does It? lol

March 16, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

As long as we are destroying word illusions this week with Toxic Words on Monday and the meaning of peruse on Wednesday, I thought we’d tackle something else that has been a pet peeve of mine for quite a while.

You’ve probably seen that familiar paragraph attributed to Cambridge University that says that as long as you keep the first and last letters of words in the correct places, you can switch around the letters and still read the paragraph. Here’s a screen shot:

Well, there is more to it than it first appears. Check out this YouTube video of the Brother’s Winn from What You Ought to Know:

Now that they have burst your bubble on this little parlor trick, I’d like to invite you to think about something else. Even if this did work for all words, does it really mean spelling doesn’t matter? Um…no! Spelling DOES matter and for more than just your resume, Word Snobs and Grammar Nazis. Spelling matters for clarity. Think about how difficult it would be to read an entire email, letter or book this way.

Lastly, I invite you to think about this: effective communication demands that you “dno’t mkae yuor raeders wrok so hrad” in order to understand you…or they WON’T!

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Filed Under: Friday Funnies Tagged With: Brother's Winn, communication, Video, What You Ought to Know, YouTube

Peruse: it may not mean what you think!

March 14, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

This week’s word is: Peruse and it may not mean what you think it does. I was surfing the net last week and found a few articles on the meaning of this word which suggested that it doesn’t mean what most poeple think it does. Most people use the term to mean glancing through something quickly without paying much attention to detail, but according these articles and to Dictionary.com, peruse means “to read with thoroughness or care, examine in detail.”

I decided to look it up and what I found both confused and explained the issue. Here’s what I mean. Merriam Webster defines peruse as:

“1a: to examine or consider with attention and in detail : study b: to look over or through in a casual or cursory manner 2: read; especially: to read over in an attentive or leisurely manner“

Hold on there! Did you catch that? Merriam seems to contradict herself, doesn’t she? Merriam Webster, herself, defines cursory as “rapidly and often superficially performed or produced : hasty. “ While hasty suggests rushing through something such that you don’t get all of the details, casual and leisurely suggests that you take your time. Clear as mud, right? So which is it, Merriam?

Now that you know, how should you use the word?

1. You may continue to use it the way most people understand it to mean (to gloss over, glance at).

2. You may enlighten others with your vast knowledge of vocabulary and come off sounding like a know it all.

Either way, you may never be sure what others mean or how they will take your meaning. I suggest you use another word and avoid the confusion. What do you think? Share your thoughts here.

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Filed Under: Word Wednesday Tagged With: Dictionary.com, Merriam Webster, peruse

Toxic Language

March 12, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

Have you ever had a time in your life where you were offended by something someone implied because of the words they used? I’d also be willing to bet that there was a time when you had occasion to go back and discuss the issue with that person and found that they hadn’t meant it the way it sounded. How did you feel about having been upset with them for no reason? Did you wish you had asked for clarification and avoided months or even years of ill-will? I’ll bet you did and I’ll bet others have felt the same way about something you once said or posted. Toxic language accuses, blames and convicts.

How can you detoxify your communication?
* Check your attitude
The first step in detoxifying your communication or your words is to check your attitude before you speak. Are you angry with someone right now? Make sure you don’t take it out on those around you. Take care not to spill your venom all over the innocent.

* Soften your voice
Whether you are upset, hurried, harried or just naturally gruff, make your voice soft and gentle. The Bible has a lot to say on this topic. Here are a few scriptures: ”Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” Colossians 4:6 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

* Relax your face and smile
The saying “Notify your face” comes to mind. Some people don’t mean to look mean but they just don’t naturally go through life with a big fat grin on their face. Others are in a bad mood. Simply relaxing your face and smiling will help you soften your voice and help your attitude.

* Insert a smiley face in your email or Facebook
Those smiley faces ( ;-D ) are a great invention for email and social media. Use them! They help to soften the written word where our “listeners” cannot see our face, hear our tone of voice or see your sparkling eyes and gestures to help them evaluate the meaning behind our words. Use any characters at your disposal to soften and detoxify your words.

* Choose your words wisely
Finally, choose your words wisely. Avoid words that inflame: hate, always, never, stupid, idiot, etc.

“You never take me anywhere!”
“You always do this to me!”
“I hate that song!”

Words like “always” and “never” imply that the person does evil things on purpose or has never done anything good. If you search your heart, you’ll probably find that just isn’t true, but if you use those words, it will always inflame the other party. ;D

Our words can be toxic whether we intend for them to be or not. Unfortunately, the effect is the same either way. Our words can inflame, accuse, blame and convict. However, there is a way to detoxify our communication by checking our attitude at the door, softening our voice, relaxing our face, smiling and choosing our words wisely.

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

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Filed Under: Communication Articles Tagged With: Facebook, lanquage, social media, toxic

Phone history and humor

March 9, 2012 By Art of Eloquence

Phones have changed a great deal over the years. I found some fun videos that give us a little insight as to the various major changes that have taken place in our telephone history.

Here is a 5 minute documenary on the introduction of women as switchboard operators.

It’s amazing what training these women had and the strict rules they had to observe while working for the telephone company. I thought I had it bad when I worked in customer service and was tied to the phone except for a half hour lunch and two ten-minute scheduled potty breaks!

Not sure this is true, but I found one video that said, “As dial telephones were introduced – replacing operator service – instructions were shown in movie theaters as to how to use the new instruments.” Seems sort of silly now, but here’s what they say played in theaters to introduce the public to how to use the new dial phones:

Finally, in true Friday Funnies fashion, we skip to modern times with this clip from Ellen introducing the dumbest iPhone apps in history! These are real apps. My dh downloaded a similar fan, but it’s not this annoying! LOL

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Filed Under: Friday Funnies Tagged With: apps, customer service, iPhone, operators, switchboard, telephone

How Not to Rhyme

A Story of Image

Fulfilling Titus 2:7-8

It’s good to be a fast talker!

Is your speech too cluttered?

Decluttering Your Communication

Does Spelling Matter or Does It? lol

Peruse: it may not mean what you think!

Phone history and humor

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