Communication FUNdamentals

For all you non techies out there!  This one’s for you!  A spoof on Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First”, but updated to the Computer Age!  This video is too funny!

Another Communication Friday Funny from your friends at Art of Eloquence.com!

How to Win Facebook Friends and Influence Tweeple
By JoJo Tabares

Ever wonder why some don’t work and play well with others on Facebook and Twitter?  Social media is like a virtual party where almost the same rules apply as they do in a face-to-face communication.  But many people mistakenly think that, since it’s online, it’s ok to bend those social rules for social media.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Here are some do’s and don’ts…ok here are the don’ts!  If you do the opposite, there are your do’s.  ;D

1. Don’t expect everyone to come to you.
If you build it, they will not necessarily come.  Just like you cannot put up a website and expect a flood of customers to drop money in your account, you cannot build a Facebook or Twitter page and expect a flood of friends and followers to descend upon you.  Reach out.  Make comments on others’ posts.  Don’t just expect them to come to you.  Oh, and once they do come to you, don’t forget to reciprocate.  When someone posts on your wall, go check out their’s.  You may not be able to do this every single time, but make it a practice and you will see your social media relationships blossom!

2. Don’t dismiss someone’s issue.
Care about what they care about.  If you are truly trying to connect on social media, you’ll have some things in common.  If someone is talking about a problem they are having or something they really like, just as in a face-to-face relationship, don’t dismiss it because you don’t think it’s important. It’s important to THEM!  I see so many people post a reply that belittles or makes light of a problem someone else is having.  They wouldn’t think to do this in person, why do it on the internet?  People on the internet are the same as they are in person. Their feelings and needs are not two dimensional just because they were read about online.

3. Don’t trip over their conversation.
This one’s mostly for Facebook.  If someone is making a point, don’t nitpick them to death.  Don’t derail their conversation just as you wouldn’t in real life.  Unless something is really wrong, needs pointing out, or is just a request for opinions, don’t hijack their conversation by talking about things that have very little to do with their point.  If you feel strongly about that issue, post it on YOUR wall.

4. Don’t make people look bad.
If someone is trying to show how important something is, don’t belittle it…or them.  Don’t post how silly it is.  Look to see why they might be posting a note on that subject.  I once saw someone post about how much they liked a particular product.  One of their followers posted about how they didn’t  like it because it doesn’t come in a particular color.  In fact, they went so far as to post a link to one they liked better.  Just out of curiosity, I looked over at their bio and found that they sell them!

5. Don’t rain on their parade.
I don’t know how many times I’ve seen someone post a funny Facebook note or quick Twitter quote about something and had someone take it too seriously.  I’ve seen a rather curt response that implied that this person was making fun of something or someone.  So many people these days are looking for something to be offended by that they pick apart someone’s light-hearted comment to find something that can be interpreted as offensive when their intent was fairly obvious.  Pick your battles.  I do think there are times when we should not sit idly by.  However, even at those times, it is important that we address the issue with grace and respect.

6. Don’t make fun of their serious issue.
On the other side of the coin is the person who posts about a problem, it won’t win you any Facebook friends or Tweeple followers if you poke fun at their expense.  I have seen where someone has posted about something that is of grave importance to them where someone posted a callous response.  Mostly this is because they were not aware of the seriousness of the issue and had a humorous side to their personality.  It’s fine to joke, but you need to be able to discern when that will be taken well and when it won’t.  If you aren’t sure, check their past posts, bio or links they posted directly before and after this one.  See if that doesn’t give you a clue as to the nature of their issue.  Be aware of any LOL’s or smiley faces in the post to suggest this isn’t really a dire issue for them.

7. Don’t boldly go where some friend wouldn’t go before! If you know someone takes issue with a particular topic, don’t invite them to that group, post that picture on their wall or make that comment.  Know your audience.  It’s a communication term I use (and actually the title of a communication study I wrote for children) that helps us to discern how to communicate effectively with different people.  God didn’t make Cookie-Cutter people so there is no one-size-fits-all way to communicate with them.  I have had a few people post things on my wall, tag me in a note or reply to me on Twitter with links to things most people would know I wouldn’t be interested in (if they had only looked at my bio or anything I post).  Contacting everyone (people who live all over the world) with an invitation to a party at your church is a bit silly and feels very impersonal to the recipient.  Making reference to a woman’s looks repeatedly when that woman is married will make her feel like you’re a stalker!  Be careful to tweet or post things that you would be comfortable saying to them in person, face to face.

8. Don’t ignore a friend.
It isn’t always possible to address each person individually.  We’re all busy and there may be just too many people replying to an issue to respond to each one.  However, when someone makes a concerted effort to keep in touch by posting on your wall, replying to your posts, asking questions, etc; it’s only polite to at least acknowledge them.  Again, think of the same situation if it were taking place at a party at someone’s house.  You may be standing around in a crowd of 20 people who are all talking and laughing together.  One man may make a comment or two that gets lost in the crowd, but if that same man asks a question of you at a moment when nobody happens to be talking, it’s just rude not to answer him.

9. Don’t take a friend for granted.
Say thank you when someone goes out of their way to research something for you that you posted about.  Reciprocate, especially when someone consistently takes the time to reply to you.  Go looking for those who comment on your blog or always reply or come to your aide. Again, we have to think of our social media friends as we would our in-person friends.  The same manners apply.  Although I have seen where “real life” friends have been taken for granted after years of giving to a relationship; it is generally accepted that when someone does something nice for you, it’s polite to acknowledge and thank them.   However, online so much can get lost and it can feel so impersonal that sometimes people forget that this two dimensional, black and white text post has behind it a real three-dimensional person with feelings.  Don’t forget your friends, especially the ones who go out of their way to reply, give you feedback, information and support.

10. Don’t post insulting quizzes on their wall.
You might think this is something most people wouldn’t need to be told, but I have had so many people post one of those Facebook Friend Facts or Quiz things on my wall that ask things like, “Is JoJo a loose woman?”, “Do you think JoJo is a drama  queen?” and “Do you think JoJo lies?”  Now if you are really good friends and you think this would be funny to them, you MIGHT post it.  But do remember that, even your good friends, may have some Facebook friends reading along that don’t know them as well.  Would you say something like this to them at a party with folks around that you don’t know very well?

The most important thing to remember about social media like Facebook and Twitter is it’s social.  It’s public and it’s very much like a virtual party.  Before you post anything, think who might see it, how it may be taken by those reading–especially since they do not have the benefit of your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, eye contact and gestures.  Remember, too, that they do not have the ability to converse with you in real time allowing them to ask questions for clarification.

Facebook, Twitter and social media like them can be fun; however, just as with any other form of communication, it takes some communication skill to be effective.  Even if you’ve never studied communication skills before, just making an effort to follow these 10 simple rules will help you learn how to win Facebook friends and influence Tweeple!

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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer.  Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula, including Say What You Mean Defending the Faith.  You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com and hosting her weekly podcast, Communication Comedy Network.  For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

The last Monday of each month here at Communication FUNdamentals is MailBag Monday!  I like to share some of our mail as our customers, readers and subscribers have some very good questions and comments which are of benefit to all my blog readers.  This month we received an incredible amount of feedback!  Thank you all for taking the time to write in!

Here are some of the questions we were asked this month:

1. Patty S. heard me talking about my Communication Assessment Quiz during my seminar at the Say What You Mean Convention and asked exactly where she could find it.  In case you were wondering too or you would like to take a fun quiz that will help you assess your family’s communication skills, you can find the article here.

2. Tracy C. wrote in asking who authored one of the statements I used in my article, “The Influence of Texting on Communication Skills” as she wanted to give proper credit to the author.  As she suspected, this quote, “You might be able to get through your entire life without having to give a speech, but you won’t get through one day without communicating something to someone” is my own.  In fact, several of you wrote in asking who authored that quote along with several others I have posted on Facebook and Twitter lately.  Several of these quotes are also my own.  You can find the more popular ones of mine along with many other quotes about effective communication on our Communication Quotes page over on the Art of Eloquence website.  And, yes, please feel free to quote me as long as you include my name and/or link back to Art of Eloquence.com.

3. Sally J. wrote in asking if there was one study that would work best to use as a co-op speech class for age group 7-16.  Actually this is a question we are often asked.  You see, her co-op had been using another curriculum, but they had been frustrated by the amount of work the mom’s needed to do in order to run the class.  Say What You Mean: A Creative Speech Course is an excellent study for anyone who would like to teach a speech course without having to do any planning or preparing!   First, the course is perfect for young children through teens because it is FUN.  The course uses creative and unique topics student’s love that require very little, if any, research–so the bulk of the lessons are reserved for learning speech skills.  Additionally, the lessons are very easy to teach requiring no prep time at all.  Parent/teachers simply read as students read along and follow the activity instructions.  We’ve even included a handy chart to help grade the speeches!  Finally, we have a sample lesson at the bottom of the product page where you can ‘try before you buy’.

If you’ve been considering our newest products or wondering if our events were of benefit, we have some great feedback for you on them that can help you decide.  Much of the feedback was from those who purchased our newly revised and updated Say What You Mean for Preschoolers and others were excited about our new Preschool Value Package!  Feedback on these were similar to this: “I am just excited to get the curricula as I have four children under the age of 9!” -Katrina M.

Other comments we received this month were about my various articles, seminars and our free gift for Valentine’s Day this month.  There were several comments from newsletter subscribers who loved my new exclusive monthly articles like the one in February’s newsletter on the Influence of Texting on Communication.  And we had some great feedback on the ‘Three Flavors of Communication’ article I wrote which appeared this month in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Most said essentially: “I just wanted to thank you for your very informative article, ‘The Three Flavors of Speech Communication’, in the latest issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Awesome!” –Jennifer R.  Still others were about the Say What You Mean Convention: “I am catching the recordings on Talk Shoe. They are amazing! Thank you for putting this together for us.” -Kristen F.

Lastly, I wanted to share another unexpected surprise with you this month. I write a lot of articles for various publications both on and off the net.  I must have written hundreds over the last seven years, but sometimes finding a link to an article I’ve written surprises me. Earlier this month I found that an article I had written for Homeschool Enrichment Magazine had been republished on www.Christianity.com!  The article was from 2007, but had been uploaded on to their website in November of 2009.  It’s a strange feeling to see your words on a big site like this.  I didn’t even remember writing the article until I read it most of the way through! LOL  I posted it up on the articles page over at Art of Eloquence.com for you as well!

Well, I pray this has helped answer some of your questions this month, but if you have questions or comments of your own, please feel free to send them to me at jojo @ artofeloquence.com!

Sometimes just a single word can make all the difference in your communication.

Another great Friday Funny from your friends at Art of Eloquence.com!

Homeschool Group Leader Workshop
03/10/2010 12:30 pm PST/3:30pm EST

Join JoJo Tabares author of “Say What You Mean: The Language of Leadership” and her co-hosts Kristen Fagala and Denise Hyde authors of “One By One: A Homeschool Group Leader’s Guide to Motivating Your Members” as we discuss how homeschool group leaders can lead more effectively with less stress and get more participation!

• Why motivation is a huge part of successful leadership
• What leadership is . . . (relationship)
• Three burning questions every leader must ask
• Questions leaders have asked us: how to avoid burnout, how to get people to show up, how to get more volunteers
• Tips on motivating teens
• Why we need leadership skills
• What a leader isn’t
• 16 Biblical qualities of a leader
• Why a leader needs: effective communication skills

Mark your calendars for Wednesday, March 10th, at 3:30pm EST/12:30pm PST.  Here’s how to join in the call:

Listen via your computer: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736
Or call in via phone: (724) 444-7444  Call ID: 19736

Or you can sign up for a free TalkShoe account so you can join the chatroom while you listen in!

Do mark your calendars to attend because space is limited and this session will NOT be available to the general public as an audio afterward!

I’ve been working all week to bring you some fabulous values!  Art of Eloquence is adding more value packages to save you money and give you bundles of value!  Our new value packages allow you to save money by purchasing several studies together!  AND we have created a Value Package Page on our site to give you a nice overview of all the ways your family can save on these fabulous bundles we’ve put together for preschoolers all the way on up through adults! We even have a special value package that has a little something for the entire family!

Here is a list of the value packages you will now (or soon) find at Art of Eloquence.com but keep checking back because more are coming this week!

Preschool Pack
Elementary Pack
Teen Pack
Teen Bonus Pack
High School Pack
High School Premium Pack (coming soon)
College Prep Pack
Deluxe College Prep Pack (coming soon)
Fun Pack
Family Pack (coming soon)
Career Pack
Business Pack
Parent Pack (coming soon)
Leadership Pack (coming soon)
Even more coming soon!

I have also updated our online catalog.  So if you are looking for a specific topic, for a particular age group, or would just like to browse, click here!

Finally, as I began to add these packages, I thought it would be a nice feature to have a major listing of our various eStudies for each age group.  So…I created several new At-A-Glance type pages broken down by age group.  We now have overview pages for all our PreK eStudies, Elementary eStudies, Jr/Sr High eStudies, and for all of our Adult eStudies which are now linked from our home page.  I am still working to add all the pictures to these pages so bear with me as I finish that this week.

This video uses all the elements of a great speech.  I love the way this woman communicates!  She’s funny, energetic and gets her point across well.  Check her out!

What you can accomplish for your cause with some communication training.

Check out Art of Eloquence today!

What’s New at Art of Eloquence Newsletter subscribers will get a free gift soon for Valentine’s Day!  If you are not a subscriber, you’ll want to subscribe before our next newsletter comes out so you don’t miss out!

What’s New at Art of Eloquence offers exclusive articles, special offers, free gifts and other communication fun ONLY for subscribers!  We do not give out this information anywhere else (on our site, blog or Facebook Fan Club Page!) but just to those on our mailing list!

If you are not subscribed, you can do so easily by clicking here!

Happy Valentine’s Day!  From the folks at Art of Eloquence.com!

Whether you attended the live Say What You Mean Convention events or have listened in to the pre-recorded audios, we would LOVE your feedback!  If you would take the time to answer just a few questions for us, we would be grateful.

1. What topics touched you the most?  Which ones helped enrich your life in some way?

2. Did you participate in the contests?  Which was your favorite?

3. What communication topics would you like to see explored this year in greater depth?

4. Which freebies were your favorites?

We appreciate your taking the time to share this information with us and ask also if you would agree to have your comments used in some of our promotional materials.

Thanks for coming to the 5th Annual Say What You Mean Convention.  We pray it greatly blesses you and your family this year.

Don’t forget that you can still grab your freebies from our freebies page and listen to any of the audios by clicking on the TalkShoe badge at the top of the Schedule of Events page.

Oh and don’t forget to visit our sponsors, who made the Say What You Mean Convention possible and tell them you saw them at the Say What You Mean Convention!

Say What You Mean for Preschoolers is finally back!  So many of you had been waiting patiently for this 2-5 year study to be updated as an eBook and put back up on the website.

For those of you who pre-ordered, I am emailing your copies out this morning!

For those that did not yet order, but would love to introduce your preschooler or even your older boys to communication skills in a fun way, THIS is the program for you!  Come check it out here!

It’s never to early to introduce your child to communication skills.  In fact, the earlier you do, more proficient they will be!  PLUS introducing your children to communication skills early can help them avoid shyness which can become debilitating beginning in later elementary school.

Very few people understand the power of communication for their young children and Art of Eloquence is the only company I know of that offers a study for children this young!  Say What You Mean for Preschoolers is packed with fun and creative activities that help teach your youngster communication skills and grows with them as they do!  Check it out today!

Another creatively fun speech communication product from Art of Eloquence.com!