Communication FUNdamentals

I can hardly believe it’s the end of November already!  But it is and, as the last Monday in November dictates here at AoE, it’s time for me to share some of your comments and questions in Mailbag Monday!

“Oh Wow JoJo – Ashlynne and I are reading her book “The Homeschooler’s Guide to Preparing for College” and it is really helpful information. Ashlynne loves reading it knowing it was written by a young person. Kelsey is helping me give my DD a good foundation too! God Bless your time together richly ” -Merit K.

My dd spent two years of her life researching her way into one of the most elite schools in the country.  She didn’t want all her hard work to go to waste and for other homeschoolers to struggle, as she had to, in order to find all of this information for themselves when she already had it all in one convenient place.  She and I are tickled to know it is helping so many homeschoolers prepare for college and to avoid the pitfalls, struggles and expense we had to go through.  Thanks for sharing this and please let us know what Ashlynne goes on to after graduation!

“When will the preschool book come available?” -Marie J.

Oh this has been the eternal question here at Art of Eloquence!  I shared a little about this last week on the blog when I announced the changes to Art of Eloquence for 2010.  I am afraid that I don’t have an exact date of re release as yet, but that is one of the first studies we will be working on next year.

“Is the ‘Say what you mean’ conference an old ad or is it in 2010?  Thanks.” -Carol F.

Some folks have been confused about the Say What You Mean Convention each year.  For those new to Art of Eloquence, the convention is a free, annual, online event that features various creative and fun activities for all ages designed to educate Christian families on the importance of effective communication in every day life.  Each year has a theme, keynote speakers and various activities.  The SWMC stays up for a full year ministering to Christian families until about January when we begin to make changes to the website for the coming new convention.

The SWMC is set for February 3rd, 2010.  All the fun is packed into one day this year instead of three so make sure to mark your calendar so you don’t miss the live events!  The theme this year is The Three Flavors of Communication: Formal Speech, Writing and Conversation and will feature keynote speakers Cindy Rushton and Christian comedian Michael Jr!  Communication fun includes various contests with prizes, live seminars and workshops, pre recorded audio seminars, scavenger hunt and prayer chat!

More details to follow so stay tuned to Communication FUNdamentals blog in December and mark your calendar for December 31st as I podcast my last live show EVER and share a preview of the highlights to come of this amazing free event.  On the show will be myself, my two moderators: Kim Kautzer of Write Shop and Joan Rudder Ward of Girl Nurture as well as perhaps our keynote speakers: Cindy Rushton and ….MICHAEL JR!!!

“We’ve started the SWYM for kids but have been moving a bit slow through it.  The kids wrote out and did their speeches (1st chapter…I did say slow right?) a week ago and gave them to the family.  They actually did very well.  Today the two younger (almost 6 and 7 1/2) were having a row over something.  We had been talking about how to communicate our “wants” and “feelings” to someone regarding play.  I took them to the bathroom, said “work this out and you can come out” and turned and shut the door.  About 5 minutes later after about 1 minute of yelling at each other, they came out and resumed play without any more hostility or anger.  I was frankly a little amazed.  They must have picked up on something as we role played last week how to get across what we think and feel.  Thanks for your good work!” -Laura K.

Thanks so much Laura for sharing this.  It’s so important that we teach our kids to communicate respectfully with each other, especially at a young age.  So many these days feel justified (even adults) in communicating in a disrespectful way that it is even more important in today’s society.  So much misunderstanding in life can be avoided by teaching our youngsters this skill!  Kuddos to you!!

Some fabulous reviews of late:

Say What You Mean The Language of Leadership

The Play Book

If you have a question or a comment about Art of Eloquence events or products, please feel free to post a comment here or email me jojo @ artofeloquence. com

Do your kidlings know the story of Thanksgiving as well as these kids do?  lol

Happy Thanksgiving from the folks at Art of Eloquence.com!

I would like to wish all of you a very blessed Thanksgiving!  Art of Eloquence usually gives away a gift for Thanksgiving and this year is no exception.  We gave away The Word on Thanksgiving to all of our newsletter subscribers earlier this week.  If you were not subscribed, you should be because we give away free gifts, exclusive offers and advanced notice of sales, events and products all year long!

However, we are giving you a second chance to get this adorably illustrated powerful book on thankfulness!  Just join our Art of Eloquence fan club on Facebook and you will have access to it all this week.  But do hurry, we will be taking the link down after this weekend and the eBook will go back into cyber storage!  The Word on Thanksgiving is ONLY available to our subscribers (and this year our Facebook Fans) every so many years during Thanksgiving.

Also a quick reminder that there is no live show this week on the Communication Comedy Network tomorrow due to the Thanksgiving holiday, but all of the CCN show hosts got together and recorded a special Thanksgiving audio message for you!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving from Art of Eloquence.com The Communication FUNdamentals that help you Say What You Mean in Grace!

My dh took our son to CVS pharmacy to get his sports physical the other day.  I was shocked to hear the questions she asked him. It was like Child Protective Services questions asked of a child suspected of being abused.  They asked him if he felt safe at home and does he always wear a seatbelt, does he feel anxious or nervous.  I thought…is this customary for drs to ask here in Arizona?  According to friends and neighbors…IT IS!

My dh filled out the form saying he was homeschooled.  Do you think this had anything to do with the line of questioning?  I would have thought Arizona was less inclined to do things like this than California, but he was not asked anything like this when he did his sports physical for football.

My dh didn’t answer the question of immunization on the form, but I wonder what she would have said about that.  She did say he wasn’t due for his booster yet but asked if he had his immunization record and my dh simply said no.

What I am concerned about is that some dr, who doesn’t know me or my family, could interpret the answers to these questions in a way that would lead to my family being investigated for no reason.

I have seen cases in California where these seemingly innocent questions have lead to someone having all their kids taken away only to find a few yrs later that these allegations were completely unfounded, or worse yet, lies told by jealous family members or neighbors.  After which the damage to the family (mostly the children) was already done.  These questions don’t apply to most people, but they could lead to abuse without probable cause.

I wouldn’t object if they found my son in their office with bruises all over him or acting funny, but not as a routine where any 4 yr old could say something that might be interpreted by the untrained eye to be the beginning of years of devastation for a family.

Doctors are authority figures imposing to young children and these days to their mothers as well.  Parents afraid of a confrontation, who don’t know the laws and/or who are not effective communicators may say the wrong thing, be bullied into allowing a line of questioning that subjects their child to being badgered.  A young child may not know how to answer these questions or answer incorrectly so it may be misinterpreted.

If you allow the questions, you take the risk of you or your child saying something that might be misinterpreted as incriminating.  If you don’t allow them, you risk coming off looking like you have something to hide!

What say you?  Do you know your rights?  Do you know how to gracefully and efficiently get out of a situation like this?  What would you say?   Have you ever been asked these kinds of questions?  What do you think about this practice?  Do you think it’s inappropriate?

If you’d like some help in honing your skills so that you can be more assertive in situations like this, check out Say What You Mean Every Day over at  Art of Eloquence.com

Some commercials are so creative and communicate their message in such a fun way.  This commercial from Geico is one of those!

Art of Eloquence solutes Geico for their creativity and humor!

For more fun with language and communication, visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com

Almost all parents tell me they believe communication skills are important but most have no idea to what extent.  We use our communication skills thousands of times a day!  Homeschooling parents use communication skills even more often.  You cannot teach if you cannot communicate-PERIOD!  And the more effectively you communicate with your student, the more effective a teacher you are.

By the way, teaching Home Ec is probably more saturated with communication skills than other subjects you teach because you usually do it without benefit of a text relying mostly on hands on involvement as the student models or at least checks with the teacher at various times during a complicated process.  It’s not like math where we homeschool teachers can explain a short lesson and let our kidlings loose on the math lesson for an hour to complete the examples.

Teaching anything without benefit of excellent communication skills is a recipe for disaster.  If we don’t explain things clearly to our children in a way they understand, we cause frustration.  That frustration may boil over and burn out any desire to learn the subject at all.

So what’s the best way to teach Home Ec or any other subject we might homeschool?  I suggest you first first go to Art of Eloquence.com and see how we might help you hone your communication skills.  All our studies are mixed with love, scripture and dash of humor!

Anemic Relationships?

We all know that when the body is sick, it’s trying to tell us something is wrong.  It’s a series of signs God gives us so that we pay attention to what our bodies need in order that we have a chance to get well.  Being tired is a sign that we should rest.  It’s what our body needs to regain health.  If we ignore these signs, we take the chance that our illness will worsen.

I feel our relationships are the same way.  There are signs God gives us that our relationships are ill and need attention.  Clues God gives us so we pay attention to what our relationships need in order that they have a chance to heal or strengthen.  If we ignore these signs, we take the chance that our relationships will worsen.

These signs are all transmitted via communication.  Your son feels neglected so he begins to act up.  Your husband feels you don’t do the little things for him you used to do now that you are homeschooling so he begins to neglect the little things he used to do for you.  Your best friend no longer calls because she feels you don’t take the time for her.  These are all signs of a relationship illness.

In our microwave society, so many relationships are suffering from anemia.  They aren’t nurtured because we are all too busy to pay attention to the communication (or lack thereof) which are signs that our relationships are in trouble.

Let’s take the opportunities to notice the communication being sent by our loved ones and make sure we are communicating how special they are in our lives.  Send a note of thanks, an email of encouragement, call to say hello.  Let’s nurture our relationships before they suffer from illness.  Let’s nurture those that have become anemic.  Let’s strengthen those that could grow.

A friendly reminder from the staff at Art of Eloquence!  Check out all the ways Art of Eloquence can help you communicate more effectively with your family, friends, boss, employees, or customers today!

What’s in a name?

I think the thing that is most frustrating in communicating with someone is when you mess up their name.  Folks don’t mind too much of you mess up the town they live in or the name of their car, the school they went to, but their name is personal and I think folks feel like you are messing with them when you mispronounce or misspell their name.

Now my given name is Joanne.  Not very unusual, but I guess the way I pronounce it over the phone with my accent made it sound like something else.  I would often have to say it three times and then get, “Oh hello Jillian!”  UGH!

And don’t get me started on how to spell it!  I’d get Joanne, Jo Anne, Jo Ann, Joann, Johanne, Johanna, Joan and Jillian! LOL  Then I got married and my last name became Tabares.  Took ME six months to learn to pronounce it right!  Tabaras, Tobarus, Tobarez…ROFL

So when I started my business, I began to refer to myself by my nickname I had since I was a wee tot (Yes!  Even smaller than I am now!).  Joanne was my given name, but I gave it back!  Started using JoJo and you know what?  Everyone could pronounce it and EVERYONE could even spell it!  A 20 minute conversation were 15 minutes was spent explaining my first name became an efficient and succinct 5 minute call!

Do you have an unusual name? Do folks mispronounce it or misspell it all the time?  What do you do about it? Leave a comment and share!

JoJo (Alias Joanne, Johanna, Joan, Mom, Mrs. Tabares… and Jillian!)

Art of Elephants Eloquence!

Being 47 yrs old, I can relate!  Video for ya this week for Friday Funnies.  Chonda Pierce: Menopause Parking!  It would save lives! ROFL

For more fun with communication skills, visit Art of Eloquence.com!

My guests this week are Kristen Fagala and Denise Hyde of HSGroupLeader.com who are just about to release a new book: One by One: Homeschool Group Leaders Guide to Motivating Your Members. We’ll be talking about why leadership is important, how we can communicate in leadership and tips for motivating homeschool group members!

Join us tomorrow Thursday, 8am PST/11am EST

Join us live via your computer: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736

Or join us live via phone: (724) 444-7444  Call ID: 19736

Or listen to the audio available immediately following the broadcast: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/19736

Remember: I will not be podcasting after this year and all audios will come down in 2010 to make room for our new line up of 10-12 full length seminars!  So listen live if you can!